SAMIA: Oh! That's beautiful, that's beautiful. I love this kind of sayings, and this one is awesome. Yes!

ANNA: It's like you see... like, this is it. Like we can have more than we really even thought about it before... Something bad happens and we all think it's the end of the world. It's never the end of the world. It's maybe just the new beginning.

SAMIA: Yes! That's so true, that's so true. I agree with you. You know one of my favorite sayings is about how what you focus on expands. And if you are focusing on the problem then the problem expands. But if you shift your perspective and start to focus on the solutions, then the solutions begin to expand.

ANNA: For sure, it's like, it's law of attraction, right. What we focus on, we attract more and more and more

SAMIA: Yeah. <

ANNA: That's what it's all about. That's what I believe, and why I'm spreading the message about it too. Because the book, “Secret”, actually opened my eyes. And it's like I started to see the world, and my inner world, and my outside world, like in different perspective, thanks to this book. Like, what we think, everything starts with our thoughts, then how we speak, like how we treat other people, and how we treat everything around us.... everything matters, every word matters. So that's why we need to live with more awareness.

SAMIA: Yes.

ANNA: To create this beautiful life for us, that's what all matters. If someone is miserable from morning till night time, I, very like... I don't see any changes... nothing amazing will happen... because you don't really... you're not, you're not ready for it.

SAMIA: Yeah.

ANNA: You need to be happy. And you need to, like, attract like-minded people, you need to attract the happiness around, create abundance for yourself... we/it's our responsibility for our life. We don't have anyone to blame. We can't blame anyone but us for our circumstances. And we, and we're the ones who are agree to them, or we are the one who gonna change it.

SAMIA: That's... at some point that, you know... if we get into a mindset where we are blaming other people or circumstances for our own situation and our own feelings, then it sort of disempowers us. It's like, “okay, well, I'm not responsible. It's those other people, or it's life circumstances"... And so it takes power away from you and gives it to those other people and to those circumstances. And then definitely, for sure, if you are not the one in control of the situation, then of course it's going to be extremely difficult and hard to change it.

ANNA: For sure, I agree Samia. It's like a ship without a Captain, you know. It's like where the ship goes... it would be like, you know, it will not go far without specific tools, without specific people, important people on the boat. It's the same with the plane... it's with everything... like person without the goals, person without... like allowing all bad things to happen... like sometimes, sometimes… I believe it's hard to... very it's hard to say... it's very harsh... but some people are victims and they're victims all life. So don't allow to be a victim, don't allow yourself to be a victim, because you can choose. No one really can have power over you. You are the one who chooses how to live your life, it's just you. It's responsibility... is, it's good word... It's like the key factor to really, to really consider it... like, whether I'm controlled... Am I responsible person? Because like we're growing, and then we have kids, and like, how we can be responsible for kids, if we're not responsible for ourselves?

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Why do you think people fall into the victim mentality, and why do we stay there?

ANNA: I think it's kind of comfort zone and fear… because they say, you know, the devil we know it's better than the devil we don't know. And it's like, it's bit true about what it's saying. Because, you know, like people think women, many women probably, you know... this topic is related to women mostly. It's like they know what to expect... they like, they are mentally abused, they might be physically abused, and they don't have power to really leave the circumstances... They don't see them, they don't see the opportunity, they don't seek any help outside, because they may be so afraid. They stuck mentally… someone is controlling them, someone is like overpowering them... that's why like many people suffer like all life, and they don't know where to look for help. It's about finding one person. I always believe the world can be changed by one person... it's the person who suffers, she or he is the one to go and look for help. If they're not gonna, if they don't go out and look for help, how anyone can help them? It's about the courage. It's about like one day saying, "Enough is enough, I'm not going to suffer anymore, that's it! I deserve something better. Life is too short to waste it, life is too short to be a victim. All my life I suffer enough, it's something better in me". But the person has to grow, and it has to be sometimes dramatic. And it has to like... one day has to come, and the person needs to say, like, "Stop, I'm gonna do on my... like, I'm gonna live my way", right?

SAMIA: Yeah.

ANNA: That's what's like sometimes. And it's even when it comes to abusing, it's about even like changing the mindset of anything... Like going to work we don't like, being in a relationship we don't feel passionate, or like any part of our lives... or losing a job, and thinking, "Oh my gosh, it's the end of the world". Or like not controlling something. It's like, you know what, just sit down, and calm, and try to, try to find your inner peace. Try to, try to, relax and listen to some, you know like, motivational videos, read nice books. Sometimes, like you know, like, even in my circumstance, even in my case, I use pandemic to live in my dream. I use pandemic to really make certificates, to really make certifications. And it wasn't easy. I did it in the night time. Can you imagine?! I had like two kids, busy life... Don't even think I did it during the day, no way! I did it during the nighttime, because I didn't want to waste... And I said, if I don’t now, when is the time? Now it's like lockdown... nothing, no entertainment, kids are not going to school... like, everything like... what can I do to make it more interesting? What can I do to change these bad circumstances into something I'm going to be proud of at the end of the day?! And we always have this opportunity in every situation. We just don't see it, or we're just too scared. We just live with like with the fear inside, or we're not ready, or like how we see, we have the tendency of seeing things worse than they actually are... That's another story... In our psychology, and our brain, is constructed the way to really save us and protect us. And that's why we just really... it's hard for us to get out from our comfort zone. Even if it's so bad, we still stuck inside, even if it's really bad... That's why it takes, it takes time for people to really get out even with the help of professionals. It still takes time. They need few consultations. It's not like easy transformation. For many people it's from going like to so many different steps. But try small step, try something new, something small, try like small steps going out of... do something that you never did before... go places, enjoy life, because life is not guaranteed. That's what saying... it's life we receive it and we should respect it, we should be happy every day, and we should focus not only on also like on us, but also focus on others around us who need our help. But we can't help if we don't help ourselves... So we have to start from us and then we can share the love, we can share the knowledge, we can help others. And then we see our life will get better, we'll get better.

SAMIA: Yes. You raised a lot of really important points. And just one thread that I want to sort of emphasize is the importance of seeking help. Because if there's something that you have been struggling with for a long time, and you're trying to do things to help yourself and it's not been working, you need to do something different. And probably you need a different perspective than what you have for yourself. And so that's where asking for help can come in really handy and be really important. I will just say one thing about asking for help is, especially in cases of abuse like you mentioned, one of the unfortunate things that happens is that people who are being abused, when they actually reach out for help, then oftentimes the people that they reach out to unfortunately react in a very bad way. Or they give them advice that's actually not only not helpful but actually harmful. And so it can become very discouraging. I know actually because I used to work for four years on a sexual assault and domestic violence hotline. And this happened again and again and again where people actually would look for help, they would try to leave the abusive relationship. But they weren't able to get the help and support that they needed because people kept giving them really, really, bad advice, or wrong advice, or just refusing to help them outright, you know. And so there is also... it's a very difficult situation to be in... difficult, difficult process. And it's terrible to put this burden on the person who is suffering so much already. But I just want to give the message that, you know, please don't give up. If the people you have reached out to help you so far have not been able to help you, or refuse to help you, please still don't give up. Know that help is out there. And I think one of the things I'll go ahead and do is... I know about the US National Domestic Violence hotline, and I will make sure I include the information for that in our show notes. And Anna if you know, because I know you are not in the US, you are in Brazil, so if you have...

ANNA: Canada.

SAMIA: Oh, Canada! Why was/I'm thinking you're in Brazil? Okay, that's cool. So if you know of any resources like in Canada, please let me know. And then we will include those in the show notes too.

ANNA: Yeah, for sure, for sure.

SAMIA: Awesome.

ANNA: So that's what I... because we are approaching to thanksgiving as well, and we mentioned we're going to talk about the mindset shift and how people think, and I just would like to... just I prepare like some very powerful, but an important photo I would like to present you Samia, if you allow.

SAMIA: Please!

ANNA: Because it's like what when you said, it's about like different circumstances and different perspectives. Like people who suffers in any reason, and no one should suffer, and always should be held there... It's very, it's very hard, it's very, you know, sad that after your experience you told me, I didn't really realize... like I think the system doesn't work as it should. But you know, the thing is about like, do not give up. Because I believe in those, it's like you're going to the store, it's like you're going to anywhere, like, for like to the doctor's appointment... one doctor is, you know, like in bad day or good day... everything depends, you know. We don't know the circumstances of all other people as well. And sometimes the, I don't want to say wrong people are in the specific organizations... but maybe they're not trained well.

SAMIA: Right.

ANNA: I think they may be not trained well, or they need more compassion, or they need more education when it comes to psychology too. It's not just like oh an organization, they pay, they work... whether they work or they don't work, they have the salary, and they don't really care what they do... I think... But I believe once you try, just keep knocking, just keep checking, keep knocking. It's about your life, don't allow anyone rule your life, so... and ruin your life. Because you finally find the right person. And now in the life of connections, like you know we can be in Brazil, we can be in US, we can be in Russia... whenever we are you can find help online. You don't need to even walk to the charity, like to the shelter to them, you know... like the, like calling... you can call abroad. If you don't find a person that you like to talk to, or searching for help... it's, you know, call abroad, call different time zone, find someone online, find someone on Facebook. There are like so many free lines all across the globe. But you just need to think and plan and just call. And it's specific period of time that, it's like, you need to really like relax... during the relaxation time... meditation… It helps you open this click. This is like, “yeah, I can do this, I can do this". We see more creative this way. So don't let anything... you know, continue, if you don't feel it's like not right, and it's like you just struggle every day, and it's upsetting, and it's sad, and it's killing you inside... Because it's not worth it. It's not belief... It's not your purpose on this earth to suffer. No. We all should be happy, and live the life we deserve to.

SAMIA: That's right.

ANNA: That's what's very important, and that's why I just brought very funny photo I found online. And it's like, it's been in my head for so many, so many years. And I just would like to show all of you because, you know, how we compare and how like shifting our perspective, right.

SAMIA: Yes.

ANNA: So we can see here like on this, on the first photo, we can see people like complaining, "Oh my gosh this one is the newer car, this person has amazing life because it has like the newest model"... whatever car you can imagine, right. And it's upset because it's like he or she can't just afford it to have this color or this brand. Another photo we can see the cyclist...

SAMIA: Yes.

ANNA: The cyclist who is really like next to the... this you know like, car… like no brand car. And he really enjoyed... like he really think, "How can I afford? It's amazing to have the car"... This is the point of view of the cyclist seeing that white car, saying like, “how amazing it would be to have the car... I have just a bicycle. If the rain falls like I'm all wet. It's not really nice, I can't go too far"... and it's like different point of view, right. Then we see someone is walking. So it doesn't matter the weather, it's like walking, or has to rely on the bus, or has to rely on subways, right. And see the cyclist, and saying, "How amazing he has, he has the bicycle to really move... and it's like, you know, to be faster, to get more things done”... And then we have the handicapped person just seeing everything from the balcony, right.