Embracing Soul Wisdom for Inspired Living...

Embracing Soul Wisdom for Inspired Living... With Bola Abimbola & Samia Bano

Question: How can you get to know #yourbestself, make the very best decisions for you, and live #yourbestlife, with fun and ease?

Answer: Embrace your #SoulWisdom!

Listen now to this interview with Bola Abimbola, #BestSellingAuthor of the book "Daily Soul Bytes" & #EmotionalFreedom Coach, to learn how you can tune into your #innerguidance for profound insights and practical guidance to navigate life's decisions with confidence, inner peace and love.

ABOUT BOLA:

Bola Abimbola is a Clarity & Emotional Freedom Coach, Certified #TraumaRecovery Coach (IAOTRC), Reiki Medic Care Practitioner and official host of Adyashanti Gatherings in London. As a BSc Psychology graduate and with over 20 years in the field of psychology, stress and trauma in community healthcare, she is an #EmotionalIntelligence Expert and the creator of the “Soulspace Method in Trauma Transformation” (SMITT) system. Through her programs and courses, she empowers entrepreneurs to deepen self-awareness, and cultivate new neural pathways for mental and emotional freedom in business and home life.

Learn more and connect with Bola at...

www.soulspacehealing.com

https://www.facebook.com/groups/717760625240801/?ref=share

Check out Bola's new Best Selling Book, “Daily Soul Bytes for an Inspired Life” at: https://amzn.eu/d/4RWfY4U

SMITT Accelerated Emotional Mastery program: www.soulspacehealing.com/smitt

To Book your Free HAPPINESS 101 EXPLORATION CALL with Samia, click: https://my.timetrade.com/book/JX9XJ

#DailySoulBytes #UnconditionalLove #traumaintotriumph #howtoheal #InspiredLiving #HigherSelf #SelfAwareness #SpiritualJourney #Enlightenment #PersonalGrowth #SelfDiscovery #Mindfulness #Empowerment #SelfAcceptance #ConsciousLiving #HealingJourney #SelfCare #SpiritualAwakening #SoulConnection #SelfLove #WisdomOfTheSelf

Here's the audio version of this episode:

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Full Video Transcript

SAMIA: Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, Privet, and Mabuhay! It's really, really good to be with you again. And I'm so happy, like, extra happy today because we have an extra special guest, a returning guest, one of my favorite guests, and it is Bola Abimbola. So happy to have you back, Bola. And before I forget to tell our audience, Bola is a Life Coach and Author. Ah, that's so cool... So welcome again, Bola.

BOLA: Thank you, Samia, it's really nice to see you. Thank you for having me again. It's always a pleasure. Your energy is absolutely amazing. Thank you for having me.

SAMIA: Thank you... No, thank you for coming back. I always have such a fabulous time talking with you. There's a sense of depth and spiritual wisdom that, you know, you bring with you that I really, really appreciate our conversations. I learn so much. So, my gosh, actually, first of all, before we dig into our topic for today, please tell us more about who you are and what you do.

BOLA: Thank you Samia, I love your wisdom as well. It's so you know... It inspires me. And your approach and the way you relate, really pounds the spirit. Thank you very much. Yes, I am a Life Coach and an Author, an author of the book… My book just got published… "Daily Soul Bytes"... “Daily Soul Bytes For An Inspired Life”. And it just got published on Balboa Press, a division of Hay House, about three weeks ago. And yes... So yes. And then I'm also an Energy Healer. I’m a Reiki Energy Healer and Akashic Record Reader. And I'm also an Emotional Freedom Coach. So I work with my clients to help them master their emotions because I really believe that emotions are one of the key things that stop us from living the life of our best outcome. So being free of the limits that we have and having a lot of self-awareness around the emotions that we have, and being able to align to those parts of us that really help us to make the best decisions, those are the things that really make a difference in our day to day. So that's who I am and what I do.

SAMIA: I love it. I love it. Yeah, all of the work that you do is so, so important and helps make change more fun and easy. So you're in the right place... And yeah, tell me more about your new book, Daily Soul Bytes. What is it about?

BOLA: Thank you, Samia. Daily Soul Bytes is a book I wrote in 2020 because I was going through a really tough time. And I began to realize even deeper, even though I've been on this journey, this transformation journey, since I was in my teens, I realized that I really needed to connect more with the higher self perspectives. Because I believe that we do have these two selves. We are energy beings, and we have this physical ego self and the higher self. And my book talks about the different perspectives, the perspectives of the physical ego self, which is usually around our feelings, our emotions, the density, the anger, the competition… and then the perspectives of the higher self, which is usually around unconditional love. And there are 31 chapters in the book talking about different topics. So there's joy, there's love, there's empathy, there is compassion... And these chapters are given different perspectives... perspectives of the higher self and perspectives of the lower self, so that when we read it, when anyone who reads the book and really connects with it, will become more familiar with the perspectives of both selves, and then we can really come to align, if we choose, because it's a choice. It's a choice. We can choose to align to the higher self, to love, to unconditional love, because this is where infinite wisdom and infinite intelligence lies. And I was really guided to write this book. And you know, the goal is to enable people to… those who read and connect with it, to develop a deeper sense of awareness of the perspectives of the higher self so that we can align… because familiarity allows us to align to things, so we can align to it and then really come to that... a deeper understanding of unconditional love. Decisions we can make can be based more around unconditional love. So that's... And it's about self-acceptance, self-acceptance, because the physical ego self is part of us, and we have to accept both the physical ego self as well as the higher self. So I talk about the value of the physical ego self, but how the higher self is really what should drive that physical ego self. And it's something that is very dear to my heart.

SAMIA: Yes... Yes, my gosh. As always, Bola, you bring up so many amazing pearls of wisdom. Oh, my gosh... Where to start digging into what you've just been sharing… Well, you know, one of the things that I love to do with our audience is share little bits of my life experience, and that way, you know, we can hopefully explore in the context of an actual life situation, some of these concepts. And so, as you were talking about the idea of choice, you know, immediately I have had memories triggered of actually things that have been going on in my life. And, wow, it's really amazing, once you realize it really is a choice, because, you know... Okay, so what am I talking about? I'm a Muslim by choice, you know. I like to make that clear. Like, I practice the religion and faith and spirituality of Islam by choice. I mean, I was born in a Muslim family. My whole family, we consider ourselves Muslim. But at a certain point, I was like in my teens when I made a conscious choice that I wanted to practice this faith tradition, this spiritual and religious tradition. And so I feel, you know, ever since I made that choice, it spurted a lot of growth for me, you know. And again and again, you know, I find myself facing situations in life where I have to choose… am I going to act in a way that my brain and my feelings are driving me towards, or am I going to act in a way that my spiritual faith guides me towards? And most recently, for example, we had this situation where one of my uncles actually passed away. And we've lost so many people actually, friends and family over the three years of COVID and ongoing. And one of my uncles passed away. And then I found out that he had made me his trustee. And I didn't know that he had done that. But it's, you know, like, okay, that's one thing... But you know, with that comes various responsibilities and including… so that the trust that I'm responsible for has some beneficiaries, right? That's the way the trust works. So the issue that came up was that one of the beneficiaries that has been named in the trust is someone that my uncle loved very much, very deeply, and certainly considered this person as a part of his family. But other members of my family don't see this person in that light. They do not consider this person as a part of our family. And one of the feedbacks or pushbacks that I have been receiving from some members of my family in the context of these duties that I've taken on as a trustee of my uncle's trust is they say, this person who's not a member of our family, you should just make arrangements, give them what their due is, and then just let them go... you know, just do what they want with themselves of their own accord. And you should free yourself of the responsibility of being responsible in any way for this person who's not part of our family. Because the thinking is, yeah, of course, family, we love our family, we do all kinds of things for our family. But if someone is not family, then they get treated differently. And that is a perspective that is held by, I think, the majority of people in the world. But that is not the perspective that my faith, my spiritual tradition, teaches me. Not at all, because, you know, my faith teaches me that we are all brothers and sisters, you know, in the sense that we are all children of the same divine essence, divine spirit, and we are all interconnected, we are all interdependent. And my faith, my spirituality calls me to love all people equally, as much as humanly possible.

BOLA: Yeah.

SAMIA: …you know, and so in this kind of situation, it's like, on the one hand, would it make my life less complicated to be like, okay, yeah, I'm just going to push this person out of my life and not take responsibility. But on the other hand, you know, if I listen to the guidance that my faith, my spirituality provides, well, what comes with that? What are the benefits that come along with that? Do I have that awareness? And do I have the commitment, ultimately to my faith and spirituality, to make the choice, to choose love, to choose unconditional love, to choose, you know, to be in relationships with people beyond just the standards of society, in terms of what's due to those we have, like, a blood relationship with, as it were.

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BOLA: I can see the dilemma. But I believe that within you, you already know... You already know what feels right. Because we are all infinite pieces… We are unique pieces of infinite intelligence, each of us. And what may be right for me may not be right for you… Each of us, when we take a pause, when I have a difficult decision to make… because family can be very intimidating, especially if they're close. If they're distant, it's not too bad. But if you're close, you always have to consider what their preferences are. But it does depend on us. We're adults... You know, and I think when we're adults, we sometimes have to make difficult decisions. And I always take a breath. When I have to make a difficult decision, I always pause. I take time away and I take a breath… If whatever I have to do to go into that silent space. Because that stillness within us, this is where infinite intelligence lies. This is where the higher self lies. The higher self is not noisy. There's a quiet, calm… that quiet, calm space within us. That's where I go when I have to make a decision. And it's always something that we have to stand by. Because what you decide may be something that nobody else agrees with, but we have to remember that we are created our own reality. The perspectives that your family will hold will depend on the perspective that you hold. Because the boundaries that we set is what others will have to follow. Really we are empowered beings. And there's always... I always say you're either coming into this world as a victim or as an empowered being. And we always have to decide, sometimes on a minute-by-minute basis, whether we're going to be a victim or whether we're going to be an empowered being. And it's not easy…

SAMIA: Yeah.

BOLA: It's not easy. But it's something that brings us a lot of peace over time as we develop resilience and self-awareness. I'm a single parent. I've got my two boys, they're in their twenties now, late twenties. And nobody always, you know… not everybody agrees with everything I do, you know. I remember when I went into politics, my mother tried her best to get me out. And it was only when I decided that I'd had enough of it that I decided to leave. But it was tough. It was tough to stand my ground. But I needed to explore it. I needed to explore my passions. I needed to explore this particular area that I was quite determined about it. And sometimes we have to accept our own physical ego desires and passions… until we get to a place where we feel that there is something else that is much more important. Because that ego self, that's the self that's holding all the different perspectives. As far as the higher self is concerned, the higher self needs nothing, wants nothing... The higher self is very content, very very content with absolutely everything that is going on. And you can go one way or the other. There is always an acceptance within us that the higher self holds. But the physical ego self has a gazillion perspectives, a gazillion ways that it wants to go. But at any point in time, we have to find our center. We have to know that… am I feeling peace with this physical ego perspective? And if we're not, we can come back into that higher self, into that place of calm. But it's okay to explore, it's okay to have desires, it's okay to have passions. But if we're not feeling peace, if we're feeling the struggle, if we are feeling a lot of chaos around us, we know we can pause and we're not victims. We can remember that we are empowered beings. So the answers are always within us…

SAMIA: Yes. Yeah. And it comes back to the idea of choice and being clear about what your priorities are in terms of what you really want to experience and feel in life. Because when we are making our choices, I think for most people, the priority is not peace and happiness… I mean, in the dominant culture and the dominant mindset, we push aside, you know... Each and every one of us has a deep need for peace and a deep need to experience and be happy, but the way that society generally teaches us to be, these things are pushed aside. They are not prioritized. And so the way that then we make our choices, the choices that we do make, they're not always the choices that lead us back to peace, that lead us to experience more happiness in our lives. And it's so important to realize that this is a choice that we're making…

BOLA: Yes, to follow... to follow, you know, that majority inclination. It is a choice. It is our own choice to do that.

SAMIA: Yeah.

BOLA: And you know, it's not easy standing alone. It's not easy standing alone. But then we come to realize that it is down to us as adults. It is really down to us. And when we think we are alone, we're not. We're actually spirit beings. We're actually spirit beings. And we do not have to follow the majority.

SAMIA: Yes, yes because…

BOLA: ..we do not.

SAMIA: Yeah, you're so right. Because alone in itself is a perspective that when you think, when you feel alone, that's a perspective that you're holding… and that in itself is actually a choice. Like, you don't have to hold that perspective of being alone, because again, the ego self can very easily fall into that perspective of I'm alone. But when you look at life from the perspective of the higher self, like you were saying, Bola, you're never alone…

BOLA: Yes, yes. We have so many guides going back, going back, ancestral guides. Because I believe in lifetimes. I believe that, you know, we don't just have one lifetime. So we have a lot of ancestors, I believe, that are guiding us at that spirit level. And we are multidimensional beings… We are much more powerful than we realize.
I read about this for so many years before I really embodied it. It was only when I did my Reiki energy healing in 2018 that I was attuned to Reiki energy that I felt that energy within me. It's a very powerful energy. This is our higher self. This is our true spirit self. And my Reiki teacher said to me, this energy you feel within you is your true self. This body is not you. The mind is not you. This energy you feel within you is your true self. And this true self is called so many names in different cultures. In the Christian religion, I'm more into spirituality now than religion... In the Christian religion, it's called the Holy Spirit. It's called Prana, in the east. It's called Chi in a number of different cultures… that energy is called so many different names. Every single culture in the world understands that energy. This is who we truly are. And when we begin to connect with this energy, we will be guided. We will be guided on the little things of life… where to park, what to eat, what phone to buy, which country to live… on the very little things and the big things as well. The biggest things of all… every single thing, we can be guided on it. It took me a long time to trust it, because it's one thing to feel that emotion, to feel that energy. It's another thing to come to trust it. And it's baby steps to begin to listen to that voice through stillness. This is part of what I teach in my SMITT Emotional Mastery Program. I teach my clients to really come to understand that higher self, to come to trust it, to come to listen to it, come to live… to live their day-to-day as that higher self. It is not just something that is read in books. This is real life. It is possible to live our lives... And a lot of times I remember reading a book when I was 18 by Ramana Maharashi, because my mother was a librarian and we had books at home. And I saw the book on the shelf by Ramana Maharashi. I did not know who he was at the time. The book was titled "Who am I?" And he talked about the higher self and the physical ego self. This is as far back as I learned about this. But I did not really experience it until about five, six years ago. And then when I experienced it, to begin to trust it and to allow it to guide me on the little things with confidence… because that confidence has to grow in the little things and then in the big things. And we have to remind ourselves… I was saying to you before we came online that I did a 20-minute meditation before I joined you. I meditate two, three times a day, especially on a busy day, even if it's for five minutes. I just set time aside to connect because it heals us as well. That energy is flowing through us. And when we connect to it, it allows us to release the tensions. It allows us to release the doubts. And then the emotions that we have within us are less dense. You know, we can release the anger. We can release the fears. This is why this book is so important to me, because the more we can begin to align to that higher self, the more we can really begin to live the lives that we were meant to live. It is not just literary stuff or literature. It's life-changing, life-saving.

SAMIA: Yeah... Yeah. You know, in my own spiritual journey, I have been through different stages, of course. And there came a point where I wanted to just be so focused and so just in the awareness of my higher self… because, you know, when you are, there is that sense of peace and calm and stillness. And I was like, you know I have had enough chaos, enough suffering, enough of all this turmoil in my life, and I didn't want it anymore. And so I was like you know, I just want to be in the stillness and the calm and the peace. And that is, like for me, even now, sometimes such an attractive idea. But what I have learned is that the higher self… I mean, certainly in the context of our lives in this world, you know, you experience... Like, you cannot disconnect your ego self, your body, from your spirit, and from your higher self. You cannot…

BOLA: No, no, you cannot... The physical ego self is always there.

SAMIA: Yes!

BOLA: It's always there…

SAMIA: It'll always be there. And so it's... So it's then really about, okay, how do I continue to experience and connect more and more deeply in my awareness with that peace and calm of my higher self, even as I remain in this body, right? And so that is when I realized that all of these choices that we have to make, whether it's about little things or big things, that's where that comes in, where you find that… you know, like a little choice. It's like, what am I going to eat right now? Or which road am I going to take to drive to my office today? You know, things like that. On one hand, it's like, what does it matter? But on the other hand, there may be an optimal choice in that context. Optimal from the perspective of your higher self has something to say about it.

BOLA: True, true.

SAMIA: Right? Yeah. So tell me more about this connection between our higher self and the ego self and the value of the ego self and the higher self and the connection between them. It's like, what's the point of... I mean, like for me, I was like, okay, yes, when I really prioritized and really desired the peace and the calm and the stillness, I was like, okay, I get it… being the consciousness of my higher self, just align myself with my higher self. That is what it gives me. I got that point. But then it was like I was devaluing my physical self, my ego self, and putting it down, you know... Anyway, I would just love to learn more from you about you know this, because that's so much of what your book is doing, too. It's like trying to help people see the connection and the different perspectives of both ourselves. So tell me more about this connection.

BOLA: Thank you Samia. I know Earth, this planet Earth is really about that duality.

It separates us. We have come here to forget who we truly are. So the physical ego self and the higher self is a constant. This is the way planet Earth has been set up. And at some point I say to myself that I must have thought this was going to be exciting before I came here. Somewhere along the line, before I was born into this lifetime, I must have thought it would be really nice to forget how powerful I am. It would be really nice to forget that I am spirit being. It would be really nice to have to rediscover myself. I must have thought it would be exciting. And there are times when I say to myself that I'm definitely not coming back to this planet Earth. It is not something that… I can't imagine how I thought it was going to be exciting to forget who I am and to have to struggle, to have to struggle with this physical ego that is so dominant, so strong. But this is the nature of the planet. And that's the first thing I think we need to remember, that this is the setup of planet… of mother Gaia, planet itself, the matrix. This is from what I have read… the matrix is really set up for us to forget who we truly are. So once we know that this is the system, on a moment-by-moment basis, we are remembering who we are. And it's a choice, and it's really as simple as that. And this is what enlightenment is... Aligning to light, aligning to light, aligning to the higher self. And it becomes easier as we come to trust it. But we cannot let go of the physical ego self because that physical ego self is all the different personalities. I still have to run my business, I still have to be a mother, I still have to cook. I cannot stay in stillness all day doing absolutely nothing but being in meditation… which is really sweet. It's a really sweet... My sweetest moments... I tell you, Samia, when I'm in meditation… it wasn't always like that. My sweetest moments used to be on the dancing floor or partying with my girlfriends, you know. But I would realize that there were so many other aspects of my life that were falling apart because I was not attending to them with light. There was so much anger. And I can dance for, you know, ten minutes, but I'm coming back home to chaos, or I'm coming back to my business and I'm dealing with contractors who I cannot trust. There are certain aspects of our lives that higher self really begins to work through. And we find ourselves having more ease in different aspects of our lives because we are allowing that higher self to penetrate all the different aspects. So we just find ourselves having more ease and flow in the different aspect because we are now operating as our true self, as that empowered being, and not as victims. The ego self is a victim. That is the mentality of the ego… is a victim and is a conditioning. That's the conditioning of this planet. It's never going to change. If we are expecting somewhere along the line that one day somebody will help us to feel more empowered, to feel more loved, or if we're looking to be fully loved outside of our own self, if we're looking for that unconditional love outside of our own self, we will probably have to do many lifetimes to find it... You know, so it's an understanding that this is the way the planet is, this is the way the existence is. And it can be fun, but it depends on what we are aligning to. It depends on what we are aligning to. And sometimes those decisions have to be… the alignment decisions have to be made moment by moment. And it takes a familiarity, aligning to love. If somebody does something that really annoys me, his anger doesn't mean you will not get angry anymore, but we will respond to it in a healthy way. I will pause and think of the reasons why I'm angry as opposed to curse and rage at them and actually destroy that relationship, you know. Because emotional freedom, which is something I also teach, is that freedom of expression of our emotions, of our range of emotions, without fear, guilt, shame or regret, in a healthy way, for our best outcomes. We will still have regret, but we will be able to rise above it, in an easier way. And this is why I do not know if I can live any other way anymore. I don't think… I have seen too… Even now the guidance I get on a daily basis, moment by moment, is something that I'm just so grateful and thankful for. But I know that I am the one that is enabling myself to receive it. And it takes love. We have to be kind to ourselves. It takes compassion, it takes self-worth. We have to be ready for an easier life. We have to say to ourselves, yes, I have been experiencing peace and calm, and I want to continue to experience more of that. I will continue to align to the higher self perspectives. Yes, I've done it for two weeks, and I will continue to do it for another two weeks, another two years. I will continue. And it gets easier and easier, but it's a choice. And it sometimes takes a lot of compassion, self-care… little steps… breathing, sleeping, drinking water, hydrating ourselves, surrounding ourselves with those who care about us. We know who those people are. We know those who don't care about us. We may go after them thinking they will change, but we know who cares about us and who doesn't... And we can begin to surround ourselves with more people that care about us. And it's those little, little steps that really help us to begin to feel a lot more compassion for ourselves.

And then we can begin to align to... It becomes easier to align to our higher self perspectives. But it's a moment-by-moment choice, and then it becomes a monthly-by-monthly choice, and then a yearly-by-yearly choice. But alignment to light is enlightenment. And then we evolve more and more away from the dominant control of that physical ego self. Because most of the time we are being controlled by that anger, by the fear …that will always be there. It will never go away. I can tell you that… If I do not meditate for three days, I'm back in my physical ego self. Quick... It's very, very powerful. It's very, very powerful. This is why I love those who practice… that spiritual practice... It's not something that we do just willy-nilly, just because it feels, you know, we have nothing else to do. No, it's because we know what we're dealing with. We have to know. We really have to realize what we're dealing with here. It's a very dense, quite uncompromising… If we realize the degree of… if we actually realized the degree of power and dominance that physical ego self has, we wouldn't mess around with it. We wouldn't... We would be even more determined to stay in the higher self, to align to it. And it's about self-awareness. When I begin to sense myself being dragged down, by the time one thing goes off, another thing goes off, the third thing goes off, and I'm picking it up, and I'm not doing anything to align to light... I know I'm asking for trouble... I'm hoping that answers, you know, that question. The difference between… the duality… it only becomes easier as our self-awareness and compassion grows… and understanding the perspectives, becoming more familiar with them. And it's all around love... It's all around love.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. Bola, you will have to come back so we can keep talking about this, because the only reason I am going to have us stop now is because I know you have to go... You have another appointment to honor, and I don't want to make you late for that. So to all of our listeners, please go check out the previous episodes that we have done with Bola, where we focused more on the emotional intelligence and the emotional freedom aspect of the teachings that Bola does. And very soon, I hope, we will have Bola back, and we'll continue this conversation about Daily Soul Bytes. And until then, make sure you check the show notes so that you can follow those links that I post in there, so you can connect with Bola and learn even more... So, until we connect next time, I wish you lots and lots of peace and joy. :)