Consistency is Key: How To Rewire Your Brain for Success.

Consistency is Key: How To Rewire Your Brain for Success. With Kristin Herr & Samia Bano

Know what you need to do to #createsuccess in your life, BUT struggle to #justdoit consistently? Want to know how you can develop the #millionairemindset, the #mindsetofsuccess, with #funandease?

Listen now to this interview with #LifeCoach Kristin Herr to discover the secrets to staying consistent in your actions and habits so you can #rewireyourbrain for #longtermsuccess!

Learn how to overcome common barriers to #SustainableSuccess with #PracticalStrategies tailored for entrepreneurs and individuals alike. Discover the transformative power of commitment, clarity, and non-negotiable daily habits!

Learn more and connect with Kristin at:

https://kristinherr.com/

https://www.facebook.com/KristinBHerr

https://www.instagram.com/kristin_herr/

linktr.ee/kherr1109

To Book your Free HAPPINESS 101 EXPLORATION CALL with Samia, click: https://my.timetrade.com/book/JX9XJ

#consistencyiskey #consistencyisthekey #mindsetiseverything #createpositivechange #reprogramyourbrain #rewireyourmind #mindsetmastery

Here's the audio version of this episode:

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Full Video Transcript

SAMIA: Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, Privet, and Mabuhay! It's really, really good to be with you again. And I know you'll be really happy you've joined us today because we have a very special guest, and it's Kristin Herr, who's a Life Coach, and I'm going to now actually just say, welcome, Kristin…

KRISTIN: Thank you. Thank you so much for having me... I really appreciate this opportunity.

SAMIA: Yes. And, Kristin, please tell us more about who you are and what you do…

KRISTIN: Well, my name is Kristin Herr, and I am a certified Life Coach. My emphasis is on mindset and really helping people have that breakthrough from that starting and stopping… Most people know what to do, but they have a really hard time bridging the gap between knowing and actually doing consistently. So that is my jam. That's what I geek out on, and I love teaching people about it and just really helping them do that. I also own a kayaking tour guide company with my husband that I help run as well. So very, very busy... And I have a seven-year-old little boy.

SAMIA: Yikes. I mean, that is very, very busy. And when you add, I mean, just with all the work that you do for your business, and then you add a seven-year-old in the mix. Totally... that is in some ways, I mean, there's. I'm sure he's adorable and very, very lovable, and they take up a lot of time and energy, too.

KRISTIN: He has a lot of energy. He's a little bit of a wild child, but it's great… highs and lows…

SAMIA: Indeed. I don't have kids myself, but I'm very grateful for all the kids in my life that are there. They just bring so much, so much joy and so much meaning and purpose to our lives.

KRISTIN: Absolutely. He tests me every day. He helps me grow into a better human every day…

SAMIA: Yes. And, you know, being a mom yourself, I bet that helps you work with moms a lot more… because I know you have a passion for helping moms, particularly with their coaching and with that work that you do as a life coach.

KRISTIN: Yeah, that's exactly right, because I really love helping moms because one thing is they have a lot on their plates. A lot of women out there are moms. They're working full-time jobs. They're trying to do all the things that, in the back of their mind, they're not fulfilled... They're just doing them. And they're, you know, at the core, they're not… the fulfillment and the happiness go hand in hand, and they want more out of their lives. And they're really struggling because they don't… they do know what to do. They don't think they can do it. They have a lot of limiting beliefs around that. And that's one thing I really love, helping, especially moms, to have that breakthrough so that they do do the things they want so they have more fulfillment in their lives.

SAMIA: Yes… yes… So, tell me more, like, when you actually help the moms have the breakthroughs, and then they are all excited and ready to sort of jump in and starting to do the work... one of the main challenges that I know often comes up is staying consistent in the context of doing the work. What's been your experience in that context?

KRISTIN: Absolutely! That's the biggest hurdle with anything… whether is the mom trying to lose a few pounds or start a new business... It's, it's the consistency piece. Starting a new habit, even if it's just as simple as a gratitude habit, to strengthen that consistency muscle, is very challenging. And it was really challenging for me, too. And I'm not going to lie. There are times when I still struggle with this. I would be lying if I didn't admit that. And that's one reason why I am so passionate about it and about helping women have that breakthrough… because it all comes, it comes down to the mindset, and that word is thrown out way too much. But it really comes down to, on a subconscious level. This is why self-sabotage happens... This is why people will go to the gym at the beginning of the year and be at it for the first three weeks, and then they fall off the wagon, so to speak. This is why they'll be super excited to do this new business, and they'll be creating the content, and then they will stop and they'll take these long gaps. And I help them see, not just in the value of showing up, but I help them with pulling out that limiting belief, the core belief that is stopping them in their tracks and then rewiring it in their brain on a subconscious level.

SAMIA: Yeah, that's a really, really good point, because oftentimes, you know, when we just talk to somebody about, okay, what's going on? Why are you not able to be consistent in your action? Usually, people think it's because, oh, you know, I have, like, so much going on and, you know, pointing to various external circumstances of their lives. And it's not like they're making that up. There's definitely things going on in their lives. And yet I think I agree with you very much that when you begin to sort of dig deeper, go beyond the surface, it's usually not really about what's going on at the surface. That's just a symptom. And there's really more like underlying root causes that have to do with the limiting beliefs…

KRISTIN: Absolutely…

SAMIA: A lot of times people are not even aware of what the limiting beliefs are that they're dealing with…

KRISTIN: I mean, that's absolutely true. I mean, what you're saying is that's exactly the way it is.

SAMIA: So… tell me more... What do you love to do to help people begin to uncover and become more aware of what their limiting beliefs are?

KRISTIN: Well, first of all, I ask them a bunch of questions… like, what is something you're trying to achieve? What is something that you keep stopping dead in your track? …pull out the stories around them. The stories can be… why it doesn't... There's so many stories… we create all this drama and all these stories around why we're not doing something. So the story could be… I don't have what it takes. There's not enough time... But if you really start to dig deeper and you're, like, okay, well, let's just see how much time you actually do have. You will find the time. It's like with anything, you'll find the time. And I do know that time is a huge excuse, and I will say that it is an excuse. Yes, life happens. I am very busy. Life happens... But I find the time for what is important. And the truth is people are consistent. They're just not consistent with the things that help move them forward. So I'm kind of getting off of what you asked me, so let me go back and then I'll backtrack... I apologize about that.

The limiting belief, the main limiting belief really is two core limiting beliefs. You can pull out all the stories around them… trauma… beliefs about themselves… it’s not good enough… Those are, those are all beliefs. It doesn't matter. It's not good enough. It's not quality. All the things… who's… not going to help anyone... That's just a list. Go through a whole bunch of lists. But at the core of most of these beliefs is two… I am not good enough and I'm not worthy. There are two core beliefs that most of the time are the driving factor as to why the starting and stopping… The other stories that people are saying about not having enough time or it doesn't matter, like, these are just some of the ones that I see… it works for somebody else... I don't have the money… just for different things, like, a lot... I don't ever encourage anyone to go into debt and to spend a lot of money on something they can't actually afford. I don't like that... people say, oh, it's not about the money. Well, sometimes it is about the money. But also a lot of times it's you're lacking your belief in yourself. You're scared, so you don't want to invest in yourself because you're scared that you're going to waste the money because you don't believe in yourself. Bottom line, it comes to, I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy enough. I don't believe in myself, therefore I halfway do it. I do it sometimes, not, not all the time.

SAMIA: Yeah.

KRISTIN: Does that make sense?

SAMIA: It does make sense. It does make sense because I know, like, for me, I've struggled, with the I don't know enough and I'm not worthy... It was interesting… the I don't know enough was very much something that I was actually aware of. And it was actually, you know, an aspect of my personality that pervaded pretty much every area of my life where, you know, I... Because I had a really deep need to be always in control of everything, little or small or big. And my best strategy for feeling like I was in control was to get as much knowledge and information as I could about whatever it was that I was going to get my hands into. And so basically with me, what happened was that I would just start researching and learning, learning, learning more and more. And it's like, I never learned enough, you know, that I would be like, okay, now I'm ready. Now I know enough. It was like, no, it was never enough because there was always more to learn. And, you know, it's just until I was forced to act, I would happily stay have in my research and learning mode, you know. So that was there and I was aware of that. I didn't always think that was a problem, but at least I was aware of it. But the “I'm not worthy”, now that I would never have admitted to that being an actual problem. Like, at a conscious level, I was like, no, that's not a problem. I don't think I'm unworthy…

KRISTIN: Right. Logically you're not. I mean, logically, when we think about, like, of course I'm worthy. It has nothing to do with that. It has to do with your subconscious and what has been programmed with you, in you… From the time you're born to the time you're seven years old, your subconscious is wide open. So whatever message you got or perceived as a child is what your core beliefs stem from.

SAMIA: Yeah, that one really... I mean, I really had to do a lot of healing to be able to face that. That, oh, I have had this belief… and it's not true. I'm not going to... I'm going to choose not to live into it or hold it any longer. But it was, I must say, it was very… like, I didn't want to… I didn't want to admit that I didn't feel worthy, you know?

KRISTIN: I do know. I mean, going back to what you're saying, like, you kept studying and learning. I have fallen into that trap many times, too. I don't know enough… that comes to having the imposter syndrome… that comes into… I need to have to be a complete expert to help somebody. But the truth is, as long as you're just like, one step ahead of someone, you have value to give and you can help them. There's always going to be someone who is seeking what you have to offer. And there might be somebody else out in the world who teaches exactly what you teach, but you're going to resonate with them more. They're going to feel more connected to you. And I think that's where a lot of people, they miss the boat and those... It can be very crippling. I know this because I have lived it. I have lived it in so many ways. And this is why I am so passionate about it, because I have done a lot of inner work on myself and overcame a lot as far as my own mindset and things that I went through. And that is why I am so passionate about it, because I don't want any other woman to be limited by what is going on between their ears, in their head. And I will say this, 95% of your thoughts are on autopilot. You don't even know that you're having them.

SAMIA: Yes, yes. Because so much on autopilot, they, like, come and go, like, and you don't really pay attention to what's happening in your mind. I... Wow. Yes. This was a very interesting lesson to learn. I remember when I… the very first time I started getting coached was with my Happiness Expert. Doctor Aymee Coget is her name. And she had us start keeping, like, basically a log of... She was like, every time you especially have a negative thought, that you want to, like, write it down and keep a log, keep track. And it was like, challenging at multiple levels. Like you said, the first challenge was a lack of awareness. It's like I didn't even half the time realize I've had a negative thought, you know? And you're not used to watching... If you're not used to watching your thoughts, just learning to become more aware of what you're thinking... I mean, that's a skill in itself to practice and learn. And I think, like, for me, what Doctor Aymee taught me was that, you know… I may not have been great at being aware of my thoughts, but I was pretty good at knowing what I was feeling. Like, if I'm feeling unhappy, if I'm feeling stressed, if I'm feeling, you know, any kind of what we might call a harder or negative emotion, she'd be like, well, that's your clue right there…

KRISTIN: Absolutely.

SAMIA: …you're feeling those kinds of hard emotions… there are thoughts behind them that are feeding them. And so when you become aware that you have these feelings, start watching the thoughts...

KRISTIN: Absolutely. You cannot have a feeling without a thought. I mean, this is like Brene Brown… like every, you know… your Dr. Aymee, any... If you look at anybody who studies this, they know this. You cannot have a feeling without a thought. So if you're having a negative feeling, like anxiety, that's, you know, United States, a lot of people have a lot of anxiety and around the world, but there seems to be a whole lot of it around here… So if you having that feeling of anxiety, you got to start asking yourself, well, what am I thinking right now? And the key to that is really writing it down, journal about it. Okay, well, what am I thinking? And you'll be amazed once you start writing it down what pops, what comes up. I know for me personally, if I'm having some anxiety or if I'm kind of in a funk, I will go and sit down, and I will be, like, okay, what am I thinking right now? What are my thoughts about this? And sometimes I will be a little surprised at what comes up on paper. I'm like, wow. But those are the thoughts that I'm having that are automatic, that I didn't even know were there.

SAMIA: Yes. That's also a very interesting point… I must say, it's like, because I really got into journaling, and, I mean, I don't like writing for public purposes. I mean, that, for me, you know, that's when my perfectionist really comes out. And I'm, like, spending hours editing, like, one little paragraph… that kind of thing... I try to avoid professionally writing as much as I can. But I love journaling because I don't have to worry about what anyone's going to think about what I've written. And, you know, so I'm just writing, writing… and it's, like, amazing when you just allow yourself to write. Sometimes I think about, okay, I want to write on this feeling or this thing that I'm thinking about. But once I actually start writing, oftentimes something very different will come up and it’s interesting when that happens. Yeah.

KRISTIN: Absolutely. I mean, that's, it's... You know, a lot of people know this. It seems like common sense in a lot of ways, but to really go inward and start pulling things out, it's a lot… It's easier, but it's not easier just to keep doing the same things, right. That's why we all stay in our comfort zones, because it's, it's what we know. And at the end of the day, it's not that it's easier because you're not achieving the thing that you want… that maybe on a deeper soul level, like, you know, that there's this calling inside you to do something, but you stay where you are because it's comfortable, it’s what you know… It's challenging to start something new, to put yourself out there. It's scary.... It goes back to our primitive times when the tigers were chasing us and you had to be on alert. Our brains haven't caught up to our society and the way that there's no reason to be scared about that.

SAMIA: Right. I mean, there's different kinds of fears that we are facing and there's different kinds of dangers… That's... Yeah, that is so true... That, you know… you're making me think about… you know, when I started out my life, you know, I was in a small town in India. And in some ways, I mean, maybe it was just because also I was a child over there… We moved away around when I was around eight years old…

But, you know, that small-town life had such a different pace and such a different rhythm, and just... I feel like there was just a simplicity to life that is missing in the more complex city life. You know, actually, like here in America, where there's... I mean, I don't know… I shouldn't over-generalize… but for me, my experience, my family's experience has been that, you know, we came here and it was very isolating in the sense that it seems normal to people that you don't even know your neighbors, you know? And that was just so weird for me and my family because we were used to knowing everyone around us. And when my mom would go out and reach out to the neighbors, try to make friends with them, sometimes we got a positive response. But a lot of times people were not very welcoming and friendly. And part of that may have been, you know, that we're people of color and that we're Muslim and, you know, there's all of those biases that, you know, because of a lack of familiarity with Muslims in America... I mean, so there might have been some of that going on… but I think that doesn't really explain at all. It just seems like part of the dominant culture that, you know, you live very isolated kind of lives, and there's just so much to do. There's always so much to do, and it's so difficult to make time to take care of yourself, to really do things that you love and, you know, like those kinds of things. I mean, you just… or at least you begin to believe that.

KRISTIN: Right. Too many distractions... And going back to what you're saying, I feel like in the United States especially, and especially in, you know, the more cities, people are very kept to them, more kept to themselves. I grew up in like a medium-sized town in Mississippi. We knew all of our neighbors, and I have lived in the Bay Area, in California. No one knows their neighbors. And even when we just moved from the Tahoe area to Henderson, Nevada, which is outside of Las Vegas, everyone's really kept to themselves. I have befriended one neighbor. But you just really feel that. So I do hear you. And I also feel like in the United States, and I know this is not just here, but… we're so busy being busy…

SAMIA: Right.

KRISTIN: …that we're not… no one's fulfilled… not saying no one... A lot of people are really struggling internally. I think this is where the mental health thing comes in too, and the high anxiety, because they're not fulfilled. They feel like they have to do all these things, take their kids to all these things, do… keep a perfect house, do all of these things… work full time, and then there's nothing left... There's nothing left… like, you have… there's no energy. So then you, you go to bed each night depleted… to… to turn around and do it all over again. And I feel there's a lack... There's a lack here of connection. People are on their phones. I mean, I'm not, I am no saying I am no different. I am not going to lie. I'm no different... I have, you know, I recognize it and I'm trying to stop that presence, having that presence… like, something that I'm really working on is being present when I'm with my son… tapping into that childlike play with him instead of being serious and trying to pull out some of this silliness within myself for him, because I feel like that is really missing, and it's missing in our culture, and it's causing a lot of problems, and people don't really realize, like, this is a core... a core thing… we're trying to measure up, keep up with the Joneses, have the big houses, the expensive cars, the big jobs. Look at me... But inside, people are really hurting.

SAMIA: Yes. And, you know, sort of going back to the question of, you know, why people have such a hard time being consistent in the context of creating the changes that they really want to make... You know, it's impacted by all of these things where we are in this kind of environment where you are isolated and, you know, you feel this pressure to be always doing, doing all these different things… you know, no wonder people's top of mind understanding of why they keep slipping is there isn't enough time, there isn't enough money. Because… that makes me think about another huge difference that I've experienced living here in America versus when we lived in India or even in Pakistan, where I've also lived, because I'm half and half... Is that, you know, again, because partly, you know, everyone's kind of so isolated, there's a lack of support. So if you need to create more time in your life, how do you do that? You know, like, for us, when we were living in India, Pakistan, you know, because we were surrounded by other extended family, we were surrounded by neighbors, you know, who knew us, and we knew, and we all felt a sense of responsibility and connection with each other. And so you helped each other out. You know, so it's like for my mom, for example, when my dad… dad's factory closed down because of communal riots going on for six months, my mom stepped up and she was like, okay, I'm going to start baking things at home and selling baked goods... But in order for her to be able to do that, she had to create some time in her life. And the way she did that was off we went to our aunts and uncles and to hang out with our cousins, you know, and then my mom had some peace at home where she could work... But over here, it's like, okay, no, you have to find somebody that you can, you know, basically pay to help you. And if you are in this kind of a crisis where you already don't have money to start with, you're struggling, then how do you, you know... It becomes so much more challenging to figure out solutions, you know?

KRISTIN: Absolutely. I mean, you're... I mean, you're right about that. I'm very fortunate. I have a neighbor that we, since we moved into our new area and we have befriended, and she helps me out with my son from time to time. And vice versa. I help her out with her daughter. And that is very lacking in this, in our country because there isn't that... I've never lived by family since I've had in many, many years, for like 25 years, I haven't lived near my family. So I haven't had my family support where they're right down the street. But I had my family support where my sisters have flown in many times and helped me out with my son while I… when we moved, my sister came and unpacked my house for me. My husband and I were taking over this business. My sister is coming for my son's spring break and helping with my son for the entire week, which I'm very blessed. A lot of people don't have that. And I... I will say this, I know the time thing is challenging. I get it. I totally get it. And I am still working on my own time limits and struggles. Like I said, I'm very transparent here. I am no saint by any means. I just, I really work on doing the work, so to speak. We waste a lot of time here, too. We waste time on social media. I challenge people. Take a day... even just a day… I say take three or four days, but take a day… Write down how you spend your time each day. Whether you wake up in the morning and you scroll social media for ten minutes before you go get a shower and get ready for work… Write it down... And when you're done, done, look and see where you were unintentional and time that was wasted when you could have been doing something productive. So if you're wanting to show up more consistently for yourself, you have a side business or whatever that is, you're wanting to branch out into that… where can you be intentional with your time? Instead of maybe you are scrolling social media, how about you be intentional and go connect with people who are more like-minded, like you or someone you would like to work with… with no intentions then other than creating a relationship with them? If you start from that place and go be a friend… social media is meant for to be friendly and be social. Go be a friend. Go make genuine comments on people's stuff. And that is going to help you... It's going to help you be more intentional, more consistent, and it's going to draw people towards you as well.

SAMIA: Yeah. You know, you just reminded me of something I learned from one of my coaches... He was like, you know, people give, like, a bad drop to social media in terms of how much time it can suck up, he said. But you know, as business people, if you think about it, social media is an amazing gift in the context of our ability to market ourselves, our services. Social media is an amazing gift because it creates an opportunity like was never available in human history for us to learn about people and connect with them in this kind of personal way, and, you know, just in a very brief amount of time, by doing a quick scroll of somebody's profile, you can get so much information about who they are, what they are passionate about, this and that... And so you can determine if they might be somebody who is a good match for you in terms of your being able to serve them with whatever, you know, you have to serve people with. And so he was saying, if you're intentional in how you use social media and how you spend your time on social media, it's an actual amazing gift. And so it really does come down to that intentionality. And so if you are going to talk to somebody, who are you going to talk to and for what purpose… to be intentional about it. And then it's like, you know, that, I mean... And then just, you know, there can be a little bit of a line that you have to watch in terms of not trying to… in terms of not using, not being unethical or manipulative in terms of the relationships that you're trying to form in these contexts, because that's a danger you can fall into. But it doesn't have to be like that. That is definitely something you can avoid while still using social media in intentional ways that promote your goals.

KRISTIN: I mean, I mean, you're exactly right. I think that if he... It's a tool. We have this amazing tool. I mean, think… I don't, come on… social media, even 20 years ago it wasn't, was it even, I'm really aging myself... You know, 20 years ago, maybe 25 years ago there, we didn't have these tools where we can connect with people all over world. Like, I have friends on social media, a lot of them who I've never met, but I feel like are genuine people. I've had voice messages back and forth. I have hopped on phone calls with these people. And some of these people, you know, are in New Zealand. They're all over the world... And my connection to them is better than some people who are like my friends, who I see on a, on a regular basis. They're more supportive. They're my biggest cheerleaders… which isn't… that goes to another thing, like, if you use it correctly, I think especially if you're promoting your business, a lot of people think, well, you're doing it out of a way that gives it that ick factor where what can you get? And I think that that's, we got to change that dialogue with ourselves. And that's what I had to switch into myself, too. It's not about me. It's how can I serve others and how can I give to others? And if I'm being genuine and authentic, with no agenda, that's the thing… If they, it is something down the road that they want to work with me, that's one thing. But you have to approach it with no agenda as what am I going to get back right now? It's just, I think that's where it gets, it gets tricky because people, they feel that… Nadia Melton used to say, like, that commission breath, they feel that you're just reaching out because you want something and you want them to buy something. And that's, that's where it gets weird. Not weird, but it feels icky, so to speak... It doesn't feel good.

SAMIA: Yes. I might, you know, use a different word than agenda. Like, I think it's about, maybe a word that I will use is expectation…

KRISTIN: Yes, that's probably a better word.

SAMIA: Like, I mean, I... because I feel like I do have an agenda that I'm going on social media with, and that is to promote my business and put myself out there in that context. So I feel like I do have that agenda. But when I engage with someone, I don't do it with the expectation of they're going to say yes, this is when they're going to say yes, if ever, you know… like, I'm, I just focus on no, I'm just putting myself out there and, you know, my whole entire profile… Like, I honestly don't even really use social media for personal purposes much at all. So I pretty much even all the posts that I make, they're all related to different… sometimes not the work that I do as a happiness expert, but sometimes I'm promoting other causes that are important, like, that kind of thing. So, but I keep it… But I try to be as transparent as I can be in what I'm doing and why I'm doing it, and doing it without expectation of any particular response from someone. If someone gives a positive response, great... If somebody gives a less-than-positive response, that's also great…

KRISTIN: I do like what you're saying with it, you know, and maybe agenda isn't the correct word, and you're right about that …because at the end of the day, we're not showing up on social media and we are promoting our businesses. But if you do it in an authentic way and you do it, like you say, where you're not, you don't expect, you're not doing it as an expectation this person is going to buy for me or do something… And if you do it from a place of service, I mean, I think that's a key… How can I serve? How can I, how can I give back? If you go to my social media, it is all heavy mindset. I am talking about people, like, rewiring their brains, why their things stop it. Because I know that that is lacking and a, that's what I'm about. Like, that's the end of the day, that's what, that's what I'm about. And I do sprinkle a little bit of family here and there and there. But I do feel like just… if you're just authentic and be real with people and don't hide… I hate the post where people are like hiding or, oh, message, comment, and then you'll learn more and I'll message you, and all this stuff… Straight up, say what it is. We're in a time now where consumers are too savvy and they're looking for the sneaky stuff and they don't like it. They don't like it one bit. I'm a consumer, too. I mean, obviously I am a consumer and it's a turn-off on certain things. I'll just keep going…

SAMIA: Yes. And, you know, it's interesting that I was learning that even, for example, the algorithms that Google uses, and other search engines, engines use, they have started to set standards where if you are a business website, if you're not upfront about your pricing on your website, they sort of categorize you in a different way. And the algorithm treats you differently than if you are a website that does, in an upfront way, reveal what your services cost. And it's actually… the way the algorithm is set… it actually gives you more points if you are upfront, because people are looking for that information. People are looking to know, how much is this going to cost me? You know? And so the websites that are upfront with that information are given higher rankings.

KRISTIN: Right. I mean, it makes sense. I mean, I can totally understand that.

You know, we want to know… not.. don't hide anything. If you, there's nothing to hide, why would you hide it? I mean, at the end of the day, why would you hide what your fee is? This is my fee. I'm not trying to hide anything. If you decide it's not, it won't work for you, I totally understand that. What will work for you? How can we help? How can I help you in the meantime?

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's, maybe we can talk to some marketing expert later about the conditions where it makes sense to, for certain kinds of services where maybe it's better not to reveal the price… but, you know, I mean, I imagine that for most situations, for most cases, those particular reasons would not really be applicable, so…

KRISTIN: Right, absolutely. I totally understand that…

SAMIA: Cool. Cool, cool. Okay, so I lost track a little bit…

KRISTIN: That's okay…

SAMIA: …of talking about, but okay, good. Definitely. I've been having so much fun discussing all of this with you. I think just to help us begin to get back on track... Can you, if you think of our main theme as this idea of becoming more consistent, do you have any tips or strategies that you would like to share with our audience?

KRISTIN: Yes, I have a few things. First off, when you're really struggling to show up consistently and you're building a business, which is saying, we're gonna relate it to business building, and you know that the way to build your business and to start getting that traction… it takes about six months of showing up consistently to start reaping the benefits.... bottom line... So your consistency, quality. So how do you do that? Because most people do it for three or four weeks and they disappear for three weeks and they, and then they go back and forth. And then your audience loses trust with you. The whole point of showing up on social media, too, is for your audience. A, to grow your audience, and b, so they, you get that know, like, trust factor. Because when they see your face and they see that you're consistent, then they're interested. They want to know more, they want to learn more. Okay, so how do you do it? Make it your non-negotiable. I have a few things... First off, what is one thing that you can do today to grow your business? And maybe that is just pushing a post. Don't overthink it. Because the problem is you sit down and get ready to do a post, and then your brain freezes and you're sitting there an hour and you have nothing there. So then you say… forget this, and you walk away and you don't do it right. That happens a lot. Don't overthink it... Give yourself a timer. 15 minutes, and I'm doing a post. Ask yourself when you're done, what… or even before, what is the message I'm trying to relay, how do I want to make my audience feel? Okay, that's just on your posting aspect on the consistency piece… Stop making it about you. This was a game changer for me. I started not making it about me. What are people gonna think about me? Do I look good enough? My hair is a mess... I don't have my makeup on. I got my sweats on… whatever it is. And ask yourself, how can I serve someone? If I could touch one person, for me, that one mom who's really hurting, who's not fulfilled, wouldn’t that be worth it? Right? How can you serve? What is your mission? Like, you know, what is your mission? And I am somebody who is not great at scheduling when it comes to my consistency factor.

And this is something I am working on. Find a time and carve out your 20 minutes a day. Just commit to it... 20 minutes a day to do it. If you don't have 20 minutes a day and you work all week and your week, your weekdays, find an hour in your day on Saturday and Sunday and plan your content out. Don't overthink it …an hour …and plan it out and like, okay, then you know what you're going to post. It's done... It's out of your mind and just do it. We give our, we have so much drama in our minds about it.

It's your mind that is stopping you. And then I want you to sit down and I want you to write… If you do this consistently for six months, for a year, how is your life going to look different? If …this doesn't mean that all of a sudden you're going to have like this million-dollar business… what would it mean? If you do this and you've grown your audience and you're making some extra income and you're doing something, what will that mean to you and your family? How will you be able to serve more down the road? Because I think that that is a big piece of it. And then I want you to get really honest with yourself… Are you not showing up because you don't believe in yourself? Are you starting and stopping because at the end, at the core, you don't think you're worth it. The truth is, we're all worth it. If you are a breathing human being, you are here for a reason and you are worth it. And too many people pass this life by and they never live up to their full potential. And that's my biggest fear, truth be told, is that I don't live up into my fullest potential and that I stay in the shadows because of my own insecurities and fears. So I want you to get real clear on that. And when you start going to work on that mindset piece… and I want you... I'm all over the place a little bit… I want you to make a list of all the reasons why it's worth it. Why is you doing this as worthless? Who does it impact? Does it impact your family, your financial situation? Does it impact that mom who is hurting? Who wants to be fulfilled, more fulfilled? Who? Who? Danelle Delgado -- Who loses if you don't show up? That's something. That's my... Who loses? Because we think it doesn't matter. But it really, at the end of the day, it matters. And if you can think about those things and think about the mission instead of about yourself and how you can serve, it will… that is a mindset shift in itself. Does this all happen overnight? No. I wish it did, but it doesn't. If I had the magic wand and I could like, dude, you're good. You'll just show up consistently. That's just not… what happens is, if you miss a day, then you say, oh, forget it, I'm gonna not show up. I'm just done for a week. And then you start feeling bad, and then you show up again. Let me tell you something... Beating yourself up is not gonna help you show up more. If you skip a day, it's okay. Get right back on the horse. Don't let too much time go by... This is with anything… you can relate this to, diet. You know, people think, oh, I had a bad day. Forget it. I'm just gonna eat the whole half gallon of ice cream. Like, I know I'm exaggerating. Maybe not... Maybe so. Maybe not… Get back... Just keep at  it …and start… The biggest thing is prove to your brain that you are consistent. So let me give you an example. This is gonna be key. And I know I'm kind of a little all over the place, because all this stuff really does matter. If you want to show up more consistently… prove to your brain that you're consistent. I bet you consistently put gas in your car. I bet you consistently buy groceries. I bet if you're a mom, you consistently feed your kid. You consistently bathe them. You consistently take them to school. You consistently take a shower. You consistently brush your teeth. You see where I'm going here? Keep reminding your brain… something I do is I tell my… any time I do something that is a repeat habit, that's consistent, I tell myself, hey, look, I am consistent. This is something I do. I am consistent. And another key this is a key to is a little thing called brain priming. And this is a lot of the psychologists and stuff they talk about. This is a little bit more in visualization. Visualization does help, too… but I have a voice recording of myself. And on that voice recording I am telling myself… the truth is I do have what it takes to build a business. I've done this, this and that… and I'm teaching. Your brain trusts your own voice. It's like two minutes long... And I do it first thing in the morning because that's when your subconscious is wide open… When I wake up, after exercise and right before bed, like, those are times when you're, when you're open to it. But if you do it for 67 days and you listen to that, you're going to start to create that new neural network and it's going to start happening with ease and flow. And that's what we all want. We want to be able to show up with ease without that constant struggle…

SAMIA: Yes, exactly. And you just made... I agree with you. And the one thing that I would add is to get more help and support… because especially when… at the beginning stages, when you're trying to start something new, develop a new habit…

KRISTIN: Absolutely.

SAMIA: …having more support is, I think, the number one thing you can do to make change more fun and easy. When you become more competent, you get more used to this new thing, so it's not so new anymore…

KRISTIN: Right.

SAMIA: …you don’t need so much help anymore, you know? And so… and that's just part of, uh, you know, just how life works and how our psychology works. It's like all the things that you're consistent at, that… you give some brilliant examples… we didn't become consistent at those things overnight. We worked on developing those routines for years and now…

KRISTIN: That's absolutely right.

SAMIA: You know, when we were like little kids, our moms had to keep reminding us to brush our teeth…

KRISTIN: That's right... And going back to what you're saying about the help, you're exactly right. And that's a big component, too. I'll give you a little example. It comes down to accountability. We show up for our bosses because we, if you have a job, because you know, you won't have a job if you don't… you show up it when there's an expectation. And I'm going to give you a personal example for myself. So for the last few years, ever since I had my son, I've been trying to, I've been really struggling to show up consistently and exercising. I just want to exercise, you know, three or four days a week… more because it makes me feel good. It's not because of weight loss, although, great if that's a benefit… because I feel better. I have really been... It's been a struggle. My neighbor and I, we started the day after Halloween at 05:00 a.m… In the morning… She said, why don't you come walk with me? I'm like, what time? She's like, 05:00 a.m. I'm like, are you, are you kidding me? Okay, I'll be there. But you know what? I got up, my alarm went off at 4:45. I jumped out of the bed, I put my clothes on, and I walked out that door, and I went and walked 3 miles with her. That was November 1st... Today is... I gotta look at my… February 17…. I have consistently been doing that ever since that day. This morning, we got our 3 miles in. And you know what? Because I don't want to disappoint her. I mean, that is, like, I have accountability…When you have…. And that's where a coach really is very helpful. They help you see things that you don't see… between your limiting beliefs, your stories… because when we're in it, it's really hard to pull that out. They're pulling out the lies that you're telling yourself. Like I said, those limiting beliefs, the things that are holding you back... and they help you. They hold you accountable, and they help you, you know, turn it around. They help you… for me, I help you with your mindset piece. I help you rewire your brain. I help you with overcome that limiting belief, and I hold you accountable… because at the end of the day I don't want to work someone who's not going to do the work.

SAMIA: That's right.

KRISTIN: You got to show up for yourself.

SAMIA: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. I agree with you... I agree with you. I am so done with trying to help people who are not ready to help themselves. And this is why I'm not at all ever worried about when someone says no, or I'll think about it, or I'll come back later, thinking about working with you. I'm like, that's totally fine. And it's totally fine. Like, for me, you know, I'm like, totally fine... And I mean it. I mean it. Because if they're not ready to commit because they're not ready, then it's actually really good for me that they don't make a half commitment to me. You know? Yeah.

KRISTIN: I do. Because they're not… They're wasting... It's... They're gonna waste their time, they're gonna waste their money, they're gonna waste your time, and it's just gonna create frustration.

SAMIA: Yes.

KRISTIN: On both ends. And that's what we're trying to avoid, because if you're a coach and you're a coach and I'm a coach, where our goal is to help people, I don't do it... I do this because I… I love doing it. I've done it for free because I love it so much, because I just... At the core, I just want to help people. I want them to see their own value, and if I can help, help them do that and help them create that change and have that breakthrough, that… then that lights me up.

SAMIA: Exactly. Exactly. It's like anyone else can be there to support you in various ways, but ultimately, you are the only one who can help you... You're the only one who makes any actual change in your own life.

KRISTIN: That's right. Absolutely.

SAMIA: Okay. Kristin, I mean, I love talking with you, I mean, I keep thinking of more questions and things to share, and I'm keeping an eye on the clock for the both of us.

KRISTIN: Okay... I know I could talk and talk and talk for days and as well, so I get it.

SAMIA: It's like when you're talking with somebody who gets you, and, you know, we've been talking about an issue that both you and I are very passionate about helping our people with, so, of course, you know, it's... I'm so glad that I've had this opportunity. And, yes, thank you again for joining me.

KRISTIN:  You're very welcome. Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it…

SAMIA: Any last words, Kristin, in terms of how people can best reach you or anything else?

KRISTIN: Well, I'm on social media, mostly on Facebook and Instagram. You can… I have my website, kristinher.com. You can go there as well. And, you know, my last words would be, if any of this resonates with you and you really are ready to, like, have that breakthrough… you know, it's never too late, and we only got this one life. And I know that's so cliche, but at the end of the day, live a life that you love. Don't settle... I mean, if I could just tell one person that… just don't settle because the life can be beautiful.

SAMIA: Yes, yes, yes. And so I will not add anything more to that amazing, beautiful message. I will only remind our listeners to please check the show notes because we will be dropping Kristin's links in there so you can connect with her and get more help and support whenever you're ready for it. So until we connect next time, I wish you lots and lots of peace and joy... :)