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Crafting Connection: The Power of Personal Storytelling in Business. Monica Vallero & Samia Bano

Crafting Connection: The Power of Personal Storytelling in Business.

December 06, 202440 min read

Crafting Connection:
The Power of Personal Storytelling in Business.
Monica Vallero & Samia Bano

Have an amazing service or product, but people don't seem to appreciate its value?

Find yourself dreading social media, feeling invisible and #lostinthecrowd?

Listen now to this interview with Monica Vallero, #BusinessCoach & #Hypnotherapist, to learn how you can use the power of personal #storytelling in business to craft connections that position you as a #trustedleader in your field, help you #IncreaseSales, and attract more opportunities with fun and ease!

Note: In an era of AI and pre-packaged content, #AuthenticStorytelling has never been more important.

Learn more and connect with Monica now at:

www.monicavallero.com

https://www.instagram.com/monicavallero/

PLUS: A fabulous #FreeGiftSpecial!!!

Listen all the way to the end of this episode to learn how you can be 1 of 10 lucky listeners for whom Monica will perform a free, NO-STINGS-ATTACHED, #businessaudit / #MarketingAudit!

To Book your Free HAPPINESS 101 EXPLORATION CALL with Samia, click: https://my.timetrade.com/book/JX9XJ

#CoachingTips #BusinessStrategy #MindsetAndGrowth #InnerWork #craftingconnections #AuthenticBranding #AuthenticConnections #BrandStorytelling #personalstorytelling #StorytellingInBusiness #StorytellingInMarketing #StorytellingInSales #HighTicketSales #MindsetMatters #HeartCenteredBusiness #AIandBusiness #MarketingTips #BrandVoice #EmbraceChange

Here's the audio version of this episode:

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Full Video Transcript

SAMIA: Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, Mabuhay, Privet, and Dzień Dobry! It's really, really good to be with you again. And I know you'll be so happy you've joined us because we have a very cool guest with us. And it's Monica Vallero, who is a Business Mentor and Coach. And Monica, welcome, welcome, welcome... And please tell us more about who you are and what you do.

MONICA: I would love to... Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me. Such a, an honor and a joy being here with you and with you all.

Who am I? All right, let's make it short, but not too short. So I have an accent and so I'm originally from Italy, but I moved to the US almost 15 years ago because I used to be an actress in film, TV, stand-up comedian. And then I found out that my purpose was different and I wanted to transform people's lives. I didn't just want to inspire people, I really wanted to contribute to change. And so I started doing that. It was hard, you know, leaving my old identity or what I've done for 20 years as a storyteller… and I realized that what I do now is exactly what I did before, but for just for different people, right. And so actually more depth. Now, I'm a business coach and hypnotherapist and so I help heart-centered, like, coaches and healers, entrepreneurs who are service-based to create and sell out their high ticket offer organically, expand their brand, and become visible… not just with marketing strategies which are very, very important, but also with inner strategies, with the inner game which goes hand to hand. So that's what I do today and I love it.

SAMIA: Yay. Ah, I love it too. Thank you so much for sharing that about your own journey to being where you are. And you're so true… storytelling, whether you're doing that on screen or in the context of, you know, acting in whatever format you may do so, and what you do now in terms of helping people with their marketing… ah, so much of that does come down to effective storytelling.

MONICA: Yeah, it does. I mean one of the things that I teach very well is messaging. And because without... I struggled a lot with messaging, I'm super honest. I don't hide behind anything… like, I really struggled… when I started my coaching business messaging was not there and I didn't think I needed that because I knew what I was offering, but because of the reason I couldn't convey what I did in a way that was appealing to my ideal clients, I couldn't make sales, right. And so I had to work on that, just realizing that it was something that I was really good at, because I had to purge my previous career to that… make it a little more tangible, though, because when you are coach, a love coach, a happy happiness coach, a hypnotherapist, we sell the intangible.

SAMIA: Yes.

MONICA: Right? And which is the most important thing. But people, it's hard to sell the intangible. People want to say, okay, I'm gonna give you a couple of grands. What's in it for me? Yeah, I may be happier. No, I'm gonna watch a movie, I'm gonna be happier... Obviously, we know that, that is not the case. You're gonna be happier for five minutes, right, watching a motivational video for five minutes… It has to be deeper than that... That's why we need to talk about what's in it for them in a tangible way. And so when you also apply storytelling, it's something that not a lot of people do. They talk about, you know, the marketing and all these rules, right… these strategies, do's and don'ts. But storytelling, it's how people relate with one another, how they see themselves into the story that you're telling. It's the hero's story. And that's what Hollywood made a lot of money with it. And that's how an entrepreneur can leverage that as well… Not just about talking about your own personal story, but storytelling in general. And, you know, have my framework, and I teach people how to do that on a regular basis. So it doesn't only have to be you, your transformational story, which is super important... And I feel that a lot of entrepreneurs do not really share that. Perhaps they think that that's not relevant. They don't think that's enough. Right? Yeah, but a lot of people already went through that, why would I share it? Right. But you never know how people can relate to you. Like, I always make this example. There are two coaches, right. I go to the person who I relate the most with, who I know can give you results… and the person perhaps who been through that.

SAMIA: Yes. You know, you just made me think of a couple of examples of coaches that I worked with as a student myself. And I remember I was, you know, working with this particular coach in a group program, and this was actually like a... What do you call it? Intuitive eating program… We were learning about intuitive eating and how to eat with more mindfulness and learn to... basically, learn to listen to our body’s needs and so forth and all of that good stuff. And I remember our coach, she would every so often, you know, share her own struggles with what she was teaching us. So she would be like, ah, you know, it's summertime, a lot of people think about the beach body. And guess what, I've been having some anxiety about it too. And she was like, and this is what I'm doing to deal with it, you know. And I remember there was like more than one of my fellow students in the group who was like, thank you so much for sharing your own struggles with us, coach, because, you know…

MONICA: Yeah.

SAMIA: …it makes you more human to us. And we're... It's like, not that we are happy you're going through the struggles, but we're glad to know you're also going through the struggles because, you know, it shows that, you know…

MONICA: ...it's the human side.

SAMIA: Yes, a human side of them, but also it makes you feel like, oh, you know what, she's a coach and she's actually doing really well and all of that, but she can also still be struggling. And so it's okay if I am going through some struggles too, if it's not all perfect for me and all that, you know... And so it actually not only helps you relate to her more, but there's a sense of realism to it that you are able to see and just makes… I don't know, like, for me also, it was like, "Oh, yes, yes, I can do it, I can do it."

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MONICA: Yeah, I feel that it makes you feel like it's something, as you said, that you can do. That it's not, you know, that person is like, unachievable because she's perfect. Or, you know, it makes you... Not just that she's human, that but that it makes you feel okay with how you're feeling in that moment.

SAMIA: Yes, yes, yes...

MONICA: And it's something I share very often, like, even now… We always go through growing pains. I shared it... You know, I went to the gym yesterday after almost a year. I wanted to cancel my membership. And on the phone, I couldn't... You know, they make it difficult and whatever. And so I went there, I was like, okay, let me take a yoga class. I don't know, I should do weights, but I don't even know how to do weights. Let me, I don't know, let me take a yoga class, whatever… Feeling guilty because it was during my working hours, you know, I was like, okay, let me be okay with this and not look at my phone and just be present… and then my mind started wondering and criticizing the teacher… criticized, why am I here? Why am I doing this? Right? And then I realized that it's human nature… I accepted my thoughts and I decided to let them go. And it was the most amazing yoga session I've ever had. I felt so relaxed. I almost cried because it was a lot of release, letting go. And those are just growing pains when you accept that by yourself and you accept that about others, about the things that you're doing. So I often share the things that I go through as well. And every time there's an up level, we are going through this… the criticism, the self-sabotage… it's all normal. And I very often share this with my clients. And at the beginning I thought, Oh, well, maybe they should see me as the authority. But I'm an authority no matter what in what I do. But I can be human.

SAMIA: Yes.

MONICA: Because through what I'm going through, I'm learning the lessons that I can share with others. Not necessarily teach, but I can share because perhaps they can relate to it and them, perhaps, I can help them through that as well.

SAMIA: Yes, yes. You know, you just made me think about one of my other mentors with whom I was learning about marketing and so forth. And so he was actually doing this where he was like, okay, who has some marketing material they want me to review for them? And so there's this one guy who's like, here, here... I just created this. It was like basically a very nice flyer. And he's, he was some kind of physical fitness trainer. And he had actually taken pictures of himself doing really difficult poses. And he was, I mean, looking fabulous in those pictures, very fit, wearing, you know, clothes that were showing his physical fitness and all of that. And one of the things that my coach, he said, Well, who's your target audience? Is it people who are already so fit and aspiring to, like, maybe are you aspiring to work with professional athletes or something like that? And he was like, no, no, you know, I just want to work with regular people and so forth. And he was like, this is not then the right image for you to be presenting because a regular person who's unfit and so forth…

MONICA: …they will not relate.

SAMIA: …will not relate. Exactly. So you could actually be turning them away by presenting yourself in this way on your marketing.

MONICA: Yeah, that's, that's true. You know, sometimes we feel that we are not there yet… We are not the millionaire, we are not… whatever that is for each one of us. But sometimes people just want someone who's like four or five steps ahead of us. And teaching them those three, four steps.

SAMIA: Yeah.

MONICA: Perhaps they do not even relate with the super successful, fit or whatever person or the model. Because I can never have a model body. Why would I…? Perhaps I want the mom body that she was overweight before and now she's a size M. And I will not want to work with someone who's like super, you know, perfect or whatever…

SAMIA: Yeah.

MONICA: And so… that comes… You know, one of the things that I help also my clients with is to get rid of imposter syndrome… as a hypnotherapist, you know, like there are a lot of techniques out there, a lot of conscious exercises that you can do, but you need to tackle it at a subconscious level, from where it stems from…

SAMIA: Yeah.

MONICA: …from the childhood, from the things that happen to you, whether you remember them or not. And once you do that, that's how you can become unstoppable. That's how you can really unleash your visibility. Because you don't care anymore. Because you know you're worth it. Because you know that what you're doing is amazing. Because you know that you are unique in what you're doing. In fact, leveraging people's zone of geniuses is what I do best… You know, we are all different. We are all unique... And going back to the storytelling, it's all interconnected… visibility, inner work, storytelling, in zone of genius… which is the name of my company… that's how you stand out. Even if you are a regular, quote unquote, regular life coach or entrepreneur who helps X, Y and Z, and there's a million of people like you… obviously a million of people like me… but there's nobody like you who has your own story, who does the things, the way you do it. Even if you had the same certification of everybody else, even if you... doesn't matter. And so when you can communicate that online, that's when you hit your ideal client… Reticular activating system -- a part of our brain that retains information and take away others, discard others. And that's when people start paying attention. And attention is today's currency, is the most valuable assets, attention. But how are you going to get attention? In my case, the things that I teach. Because you can get attention in a lot of ways, you know, like the Hulk, the whatever, the surprise, the funny video, entertaining, sure, that can help. But it's all about what you say, the way you say it, the way you show up, your leadership… Anyway, this is my bread and butter. I love it so much…

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. So you made some... You just made me think about the fact that when we talk about storytelling and using storytelling as our way of communicating and connecting, there's so many different aspects to storytelling. There's what you say, but then there's also the how you say it, the emotion behind it and so forth. And so you work with your clients on all of those levels.

MONICA: Yeah, I do. I do... Because, you know, perhaps there's some people who have clients already, who work through referrals, who are very good at what they're doing. Maybe they're doing this for 10, 20 years. They know that they're good at that, but they don't know what type of content they should produce. Or they try it a little bit, but they don't like social media. They don't like putting themselves out there because it feels a little narcissistic… which was a problem that I had because I spent… that I had to overcome and, you know, a limiting belief that I've had... I spent 20 years as an actress, and it was all about how you looked, how good you were, who you knew. And I wanted to get away from that toxic environment, which was amazing because the art and all that, right. But then I was also in Hollywood, and that's a whole different story... And so I didn't want to put myself again in a way of, oh, look at me… I don't care. I'm a mom. Like, I don't need validation. But I had to overcome that… because I'm not doing it for myself anymore. I'm not doing it for me. I'm doing it for those people who need me. Now, there's a selfish part that plays a part. Absolutely. And I'm proud of that because I want to make money, because it makes me feel good helping people because it fulfills my soul. So that is the selfish part. But more money, more impact, more fulfillment, more joy that I can spread out. And so I help people, whether it's through my free content, my free master classes, or my paid clients. Depends, right, on the level. But also to get out of that shell, that is not allowing them to shine their light.

SAMIA: Yeah.

MONICA: I've learned with blood and sweat and tears when I started this business, is that it's not all about the law of attraction. Is not all about the energy. Yes, super important, but it's not all that. You need a strategy. You need marketing. Then I leaned into the marketing too much… too harsh, to narrowed. I was like, oh, energy is not important anymore. And I made sales, but I wasn't happy anymore. And then I couldn't make sales anymore... I was like, holy cow, now back to square one. What am I going to do now? So I had like a dark night of the soul after my second baby and I pivoted a little bit. Still business coaching, but the type of people that I wanted to attract as well and my messaging and everything… And I realized that you need both. You need both to be not just happy, but to make a business work. You can do the... but it's going to be hard, especially if you have small kids. It's going to be hard if you, even if you don't have kids, when maybe you have another job or you have other commitments, maybe you have to watch after a parent or whatever that is, right?

SAMIA: Yeah.

MONICA: It's hard. And I do not want to work 24/7. I want to enjoy life. I want to be present… like we are here… Yes. I love what I do. This is not even working. I spent until midnight last night looking over some work because I just love it. That was my me time, right.

SAMIA: Yeah.

MONICA: But sometimes I go to bed at 8pm with my kids. And so that is the freedom of choice when you can decide what to do. And once you have these two most important things, which is the inner work, the energetics and all that, and the strategy, the messages, everything, then you can grow your brand easily.

SAMIA: Yes, right. It's like, you know, in a different context... For example, if you're looking at physical health, you know, I work a lot with energy healing and so forth. And it's like, yes, of course it helps, of course it can... it has the capacity to heal anything that you may be struggling with. And if you don't correct your behaviors in your everyday life in terms of what produced the disease or the illness in the first place… or even at a mental, emotional level, if you're struggling with something, energy healing will help with that. But if you don't change the behaviors that produce the depression or the anxiety etc, then it's going to come back, you know. So you really do need to do at both levels. You have to of course, uplevel your game in terms of your energy, your mindset, all that good stuff, but then also change your behaviors in the physical, physical realm… and in the context of business, you know, you set up the right kind of systems and you know, the right kind of messaging, the etc so that, you know, everything will work together…

MONICA: That's correct. Exactly. It's not one thing like a secret formula. Yeah, there are many formulas… but once you are in business for years you understand that it's simpler than people make it. You just had to do the work. But you can't do the work if you're not backed up by a strong mindset, which is not conscious willingness, but the mindset that you build up through the healing, through the energy work and all that, right. And when we're talking about energy work is not really who woo woo. It's how you change your energy through the healing, through the things they are overcoming… pretty much. Yeah, that is really, really powerful.

SAMIA: Yeah. Yeah. Tell me a little bit more about... So when you think about the marketing strategy/systems that you need in place that you know, with the storytelling and stuff, what are some of those components that people should be aware they need to have in place?

MONICA: Yeah, so we mentioned, I mentioned it a little bit earlier. The number one thing is to find out what makes you unique, which is something that I struggled with there as well because I had so many things that I could do and I didn't want to pick. So we are not just talking about niching down… because niching down, a lot of people feel that it's constricting you, putting in a box. It's actually expanding you because that's how you expand your brand, becoming known for that thing. But by leveraging your zone of genius, which again, it's something that the first thing that I do with my clients, before the healing, before anything… you know, some of them don't even need healing. They just need some rewiring of the mindset. You know, I don't even like talking about healing because people don't really get. Because it's like, oh, I'm not, I'm not sick, right. It's really to understand your story. What makes you unique, what can we extract from your…? Because we all have multiple stories.

SAMIA: Yes.

MONICA: There's the story they originated, what we do today, like, what… our why... Right. Why did we start what we're doing, which is we could be relevant, but not necessarily relevant to your ideal client… and then really leveraging that in a way that positions you as the expert… then we talk about the messaging. Now I want to clarify this… and that's what also I do a little different than a lot of people… When you take a marketing program, because I've taken a lot of those as a student, obviously… they all talk about messaging, about how did you feel when you were in that situation. Sure. But there's nothing more powerful than not assuming and speaking to real people who have the real problem right now… because you now have a different mindset. I do not remember exactly how you felt. Yes, you remember how you felt, but the wording that you probably were using… because you're a different person now…

SAMIA: Yeah.

MONICA: …you don't remember everything.

SAMIA: Yeah.

MONICA: I also do some acting exercises with my clients which reenacting the emotion of certain things, so you can use those words, you can connect with your ideal client more. But the most important part is to really interview them and really close your mouth, like, seal your lips and just listen, ask question, just listen and take notes… and do it over and over again. A lot of people assume they know. Oh, I already know my client. Oh, I already work with a lot of clients. Okay. But I still see your messaging that it's up in the air and it's not landing. Now when I about not landing, a lot of people say, oh, yeah, but you, Monica, don't... You're not viral. I'm not talking about being viral. I don't care about being viral. Sure, more people in my world, I would love to have that, but it's not my main focus right now. My main focus is impact and sales, which is the same, right. And so even if you have 5 likes, 5… 2 comments, 1 is from your sister and the other one is from a stranger. How to connect with that stranger who needs you right now and that you. How you can convert that person authentically…

SAMIA: Yeah.

MONICA: Without pushing, without forcing, without feeling that you're forcing. Because main problem of us light workers is… I don't like to sell. I just want to help people… Okay, how are you gonna eat? Then you have to have another job that is not allowing you to put the time on this thing and better yourself and better other people. So let's get you sales. That's why I love high ticket sales. Because not because you have to charge more and you have to rip people off, but because it's allowing you to make more money, to be happier, and it's allowing your clients… allowing your clients to really have the bigger transformation.

SAMIA: Yes, yes. So, yes… And what you said about, oh, you're not viral… but I mean, lots of things go viral and they will maybe entertain someone, but that doesn't mean that it's going to end up making them want to work with you.

MONICA: That's right.

SAMIA: You know, so that's a whole different ball game. And it's like this whole influencer model of how you're going to do your business… I mean, that's just one model. And it's not for everyone. I mean, it's not a good fit for everyone and especially for a lot of... You're so right, Monica… The, like, the light workers, the heart-based folks, like, the things that people need to do to become influencers, like, being constantly, you know… showing up in a public way and, you know, just constantly thinking about producing content and, you know, again, just making themselves accessible... Like, oh, I have to… you know, because otherwise, I mean, that's the way the influencer culture works. But that's not how most light workers, heart-based people want to live their lives and be, you know. And so it's… it's not necessarily… like, you, you should be aware that that's not the only model out there. And, yeah. Is it the right one for you? Yeah.

MONICA: That's beautiful you said that because, you know, I feel that there are some basic concepts that go in all businesses, such as finding your uniqueness and the messaging and things like that. And at the end of the day, you decide… I give you tools and it's up to you if you want to use this or do your own, right. There's a lot of people who want to do with, you know, Facebook ads or paid advertisement, and that's great. But when you start out, maybe you don't have the money to invest in advertisement and then you prefer to start with organic because maybe you have a few clients here and there, or zero clients, and so you hire me and then you can move to that. Or some people want to be content creators and healers, that's great too. Maybe you love being on camera. Maybe that's what you were born for. And so I never say no, this is wrong. Or maybe, you know, now there's a trend of a membership, right. Low ticket membership. I'm not… I'm not against that. I teach my clients that high ticket is faster because you don't need volume. But if you want to build a community and make a couple of hundreds per month, that's what you want to do, do that, you know. So I teach them the different types of business models as well. It's simpler… but it's simpler to them, you know.

SAMIA: Yeah.

MONICA: Some people have big audiences, so that makes more sense for them. Some people do not have that. And that's usually the people who come to me, who are wanting to really take this to a different level… meaning transform lives. It's, it's harder that you're Transformed by a $45, $27 membership. Yes, you can have some nuggets of wisdom here and there, some mindset shifts that will allow you to do certain things. Absolutely. But the real transformation is when there's skin in the game, right. When you are transformed, whatever is the transformation that you're providing. But I agree there are different ways. And, you know, as a coach, lightworker, entrepreneur, you can't tell people what to do.

SAMIA: Yeah.

MONICA: You can guide them through it, but if they think that something else is best, they're gonna do that… until they realize, oh, maybe what, Monica or Samia, you said maybe, maybe you're gonna try that... But they have to try for themselves first.

SAMIA: Yes.

MONICA: A lot of people are like, oh, I don't... I wanna, I want the shortcut. I don't wanna take the long route... Well, you shouldn't be in entrepreneurship if you want a shortcut, because there's none. Some people make mistakes, more mistakes, some others, less. Some people take, you know, it takes a year. Some people, it takes 15 years. Although the people who are taking… you know, people who are saying that they are making millions in six months, I want to hear the years before what they have tried, maybe another type of businesses or personal, their personal life… So it's a journey, and that's how we should take it.

SAMIA: Yes. Yes... I think, yes… You know, that there's some value… Like, no matter what strategy you're talking about, no matter what business model you're talking about, there's always some value to it… And oftentimes it's a matter of, like, you really need to understand the context within which it works and is that a good fit for you? And I think that's what a lot of times, you know, the different… at least at the surface level, marketing that you notice that context can be missing. And you have to put in the work of digging deeper yourself to see, okay, is this really a good fit for me? Because, you know, like, for example, with Facebook ads or any other kind of paid advertising, that was something that, you know, I was feeling pressured to try on. And then one of my coaches was like, okay, here's how you know if you're ready for it… Because Facebook will tell you…

MONICA: Yes.

SAMIA: Yes, you know, so… Because Facebook will be like, oh, just $5 a day. You can start with $5 a day. But guess what? $5 a day will not really produce you any kind of results are can grow your business in any kind of meaningful way. And so, you know, there is... You need to make sure you have certain things in place and you have a certain, like, kind of budget that you can invest in. And it's like, we're talking thousands of dollars, you know, worth of investment…

MONICA: Before you do that. Even if you had 10 grand, $10,000 to invest…

SAMIA: Yes…

MONICA: …If you're hiring a marketing agency, they can help you with that. But you need to see if it converts first...

SAMIA: Yes.

MONICA: …you need to test it organically. Because if you're testing your offer and the messaging and with a cold audience, like, that's gonna cost you not just 10 grand. It's gonna cost you a lot more…

SAMIA: Exactly.

MONICA: And then you're gonna... and then you're gonna give up, and then you're gonna be broke, right?

.

SAMIA: Yes.

MONICA: Depends on the person. Maybe there's a millionaire who wants to do this. Doesn't matter. But testing an offer, messaging… don't just an offer… just the messaging first and then the offer and how you feel about it… Because perhaps it's not what you want to do.

SAMIA: Exactly.

MONICA: …is crucial, you know?

SAMIA: Yes, yes. Because these big marketing agencies, like, what they'll do is… you'll give them something and then they will massage it to... And they will test it out for you too, some of them... But the thing is, the thing that comes out after all their processing, all their massaging this and the testing this and that, something that can be so different from what you envisioned and wanted and feel aligned with. And so they're like, oh, look, but this works. And you're like, but that's not me…

MONICA: That's right. Exactly. It would not be your wording then. You know, I was reading somewhere, I think yesterday… you know when you hire a copywriter, sure, you can hire a copywriter, you can hire a VA, you can hire a social media manager… but then they're writing you the script for you to talk, to say on camera, because you are the brand. But if you're not familiar with those words, if you never use those words, you're gonna sound like a robot. You need to make in your own. Like people like ChatGPT and everything nowadays. Yes, I love ChatGPT. I teach how to use it in the most efficient way. But the words have to be yours and your ideal client's words. So you have to blend those two.

SAMIA: Yeah.

MONICA: The way I speak… also because I have an accent, also because that's the way that I speak, or that you speak… it has to belong to you.

SAMIA: Yeah.

MONICA: …the way you explain certain concepts… Because otherwise it's just anyone could do what you do because somebody's doing it for you. Now, doesn't mean you can't hire a copywriter down the line or a social media manager, because they know the way you speak, they know that the way you do business, they know your values and they adapt themselves to your brand... But if you don't know your brand voice yet…

SAMIA: Yes…

MONICA: …then that's useless. You're spending money for something that they're like, oh, I just received this email from Samia. It doesn't sound like her. I mean, that's interesting. I'm gonna click on it. But I don't know. I just really... I subscribe because I like the way she speaks. She's so soft-spoken. She talks about certain things and now… this is so harsh... Why would I... It's not her…

SAMIA: Right. Yes, yes. And it's like, so say someone else does all that for you and then gets people to click on your thing, sign up for your thing… but sooner or later they're going to be face-to-face with you. And then if there isn't a match, like, you were saying, they're... I mean, I know I've done this where I have ended up in a situation where I was like, whoa, I'm not aligning with this person that I signed up to do their program or whatever. And once I was actually face to face with them, I was just like, no, it's not… this is not going to work.

MONICA: This is not it... Yeah, absolutely. For sure.

SAMIA: Yeah. So it's like, not only can you feel really inauthentic and yucky as the coach who's now trying to mold herself or himself into whatever the marketing created, but it can be really disconcerting for your clients also to come face to face with a very different reality than what was presented.

MONICA: Absolutely. For sure... And that happens a lot with bigger names. They… in my opinion, not a lot of them, but some of them... I know some of them who… they did validate their offer. They were so personable, they were so amazing. And then they got lost down the line because they grew so big. And then people are doing all the things for them that they lost their voice. And so people are like, I'm not sure. Or they love them more. But then when they are teaching in the program, they're like, you're not the same person that I…

SAMIA: Yeah.

MONICA: …bought from or that I thought you were, right. So obviously when you scale, there's always a degree of letting go the reins, letting go of some type of work, obviously. But I think that it's always important to make sure that your brand values and your voice and the things that you truly believe are in place. And then you also are aligned with the work, that you're embodying… and you're aligned with what you're teaching still because perhaps five years, perhaps we are going to change a little bit. You know, I've been doing this for seven years now, so I doubt it. But maybe there's something that I want to add or take away or… because we are all evolving, we always evolve, always change... And even, you know, the listener, if you're listening, maybe even you, maybe in a couple of years you want to do something a little different and that's totally okay. So being aligned with what you are now without being like, oh, this is in stone, I want to do this for the next 30 years no matter what… Like, being a little flexible and really, I wouldn't say mold yourself, but being okay with what feels right to you right now.

SAMIA: Yes. And being open to change is so important. You know, you briefly referenced ChatGPT and really watch out GPT… what we're talking about is the artificial intelligence, the AI revolution that is upon us. And you know, I've been listening to so many experts talking about… well, what is this going to mean for us? How is it actually going to impact society, impact culture? And a lot of, you know, the experts are saying, you know, there's some things we think we can predict or see happening, but a lot of it's unknown. A lot of it's unknown because it's part of the nature of this technology that the way it's self-learning and becoming more and more complex through its own learning and all of that… and it's like we don't know how people will adapt to interacting with it and find all the different ways in which it could be used… I mean, and you know, and so we don't know what changes we may be faced with, but they're very likely to be huge and major and very, very impactful in all of our lives. I mean, you know, earlier changes that changed certain industries, certain technologies, and they affected a certain portion of the population. But with AI, it's likely to touch all of us. And so to… you know, we have to be adaptable, you know… so not to become anything unauthentic, but just in terms of being open to learning and growing, you know, ourselves and see where that takes us. But I, you know, I really do believe that some of the fundamentals, no matter how much technology you put in place, there will be certain fundamentals that I think will always be valuable. And storytelling, our ability to tell our own stories, to connect with people, I think that is one of those fundamentals. And doing our inner work like you talk about Monica… it will always be one of those fundamentals that we'll always need. Maybe we’ll need even more when we are faced with, you know, all this, like, extra intelligence or seeming intelligence, and you're like, oh, my God, I'm just a little human.

MONICA: Yeah, that's true. But I want to catch on that. I 2000% agree with what you said, but that's why now more than ever is important to lean in, into our authentic voice and story.

SAMIA: Yes.

MONICA: Because everything can be recreated now. And who knows, next year, in a couple of years it's going to be even more. But if you see, if you, you know, use ChatGPT, I have the pro version and it's amazing for ideas or like, hey, how should I call this thing? Right… Give me some options or help me with my content creation, whatever. But I know my ideal client.

SAMIA: Yeah. 

MONICA: They, you know, they AI can guess it, but I know best because I've talked to real people. So keeping the human component now more than ever has to be… is important, right? I know, like a strike, Hollywood strike because… the writers that… they were, there was a strike for that because of the, the AI on script. Yes. I feel that a lot of jobs will be replaced, but that's how you adapt with it that will make you irreplaceable as the coach, as an entrepreneur, as a healer, as visionary that you are.

SAMIA: Yes, exactly. Exactly. Yes... And so to focus on the fundamentals and learn to adapt and make yourself a irreplaceable... I love that. I love that. Because definitely this podcast is all about making change and making change fun and easy. And so having that attitude of openness is something that makes change more fun and easy, for sure…

MONICA: Absolutely. And, you know, it is what it is. Everything changes every day. Every day you're like, oh, this is not going the way I thought it was going. And we get upset because I do, you know, again, I'm honest... I do like, ah, why? Okay, let me lean in and let me see… Why do I have to deal with this right now? What is the lesson behind this? What do I have to learn? And let's have fun with it if I can have fun with it, or let me learn the lesson so next time it's going to be even better. That's the  attitude that I'm trying to apply every day in my life.

SAMIA: Yes, yes, yes... If you have the right attitudes, it's like with the strategies... it's like if one strategy doesn't work, it's not a big deal. You just, you know, figure out the next thing that you are going to try out and so forth. And it's not then like a big drama, you know…

MONICA: That's right. It's all about how you make it mean, how you react to things, you know. Oh, okay, this post didn't work, Monica... What? It's not working.

Is not… Okay, how many... Have you tested your messaging? Well, I post in one group or I posted in my... Okay, how many times? One, or three times… Okay, it's not working, let's change it... Every person, every group has their own, you know, different… a different audience, the time of the day, the way you articulate it, and the way… like, there are so many variables.

SAMIA: Yeah.

MONICA: Like, okay, I didn't work. Great... Now I know that that didn't work, let me change one thing. Let me change two things. Let's change strategy together.

Let's change attitude. Maybe that day I showed up on camera and I wasn’t my best.

Or I thought that this piece of content was going viral and it tanked. And maybe I thought that I just did this piece of content just because and it got a lot of views, a lot of engagement, and got me five clients... You never know. It's all about testing, especially when you're entrepreneur. And so how to find... I love that what you said… this podcast is about fun and easy because how do we find the fun in the little things that we are doing?

SAMIA: Yes.

MONICA: Find alignment first and how do we have fun with it?

SAMIA: Yes.

MONICA: Because if we are not having fun, what is the point of it all? Seriously…

SAMIA: Yes. I agree with you. I agree with you. I do not ever want to work again in a situation or context where I'm having to deal with so much stress and so forth. You know, I want things fun, I want things easy... I'm like, life is too short for me to spend it stressed. I want fun and ease. You know, it's more than just that I enjoy the fun and ease. I really do believe that when you're happy, when you are in that energy of fun and ease, that is actually also your inner self and the universe telling you you're heading in the right direction for you, you know… and so beyond just enjoying those feelings, more and more, you know, I believe that is also how you can know that you are actually doing what's right for you.

MONICA: Absolutely. For sure. I agree... The more you do that, the more is going to be, you know, the more you recreate an emotion… Because I believe you can re... As an actress, obviously you can recreate emotions and they feel real in that moment. It's not about bypassing feelings. It's about feeling what you truly want to feel. Like, I don't feel well today, how can I feel better? You can change your mood. And by doing that, changing your energy, you can attract more of the things that you want, more of the energy that you want, more of the people who are attracted to that energy. And so therefore more things that you desire. It's science. I mean, right?

SAMIA: Indeed, indeed, indeed... Ah, you know Monica, I could keep talking with you and just this topic, this like whole different conversation… So maybe we'll bring you back so we can keep digging in. For now, do you have any last thoughts you would like to share?

MONICA: Sure. If you are listening to this and you are finding yourself that your business is not going the way you want it, not fast enough... but you know that you're meant for more... You know that things… you're close but you're not sure exactly what to do, I would love to invite you... I'm going to take 10 people... I can’t do more than that… But for a free business audit, no pitch. Just me listening about your business and helping you out with the next steps, getting you unstuck on what to do in order to move the needle in your business… if you're a coach, healer, heart-centered entrepreneur, visionary, right, and you have an online business or you're wanting to… so follow me on Instagram, send me a DM and type “audit” and we can set up a time… and I can do that for the people, 10 people, who are listening to make change fun and easy…

SAMIA: Oh, thank you so much for that wonderful gift, Monica. That is really, really awesome of you. And for my last reminder, it will be… yes, please make sure you check the show notes because guess what, we will be dropping Monica's links in there so you can connect with her, and take advantage of her offer. And just even if you don't want the audit right now, connect with her, continue to learn with her, get the help and support that you need whenever you are ready for it. So until we connect next time, I wish you lots and lots of peace and joy... :)

MONICA: Thank you so very much, Samia. Thank you. :)


blog author image

Samia Bano, Happiness Expert

Samia Bano is the #HappinessExpert, author, speaker, podcaster & coach for coaches and healers. Samia is most known for her book, 'Make Change Fun and Easy' and her #podcast of the same name. With the help of her signature Follow Your Heart Process™, a unique combination of #PositivePsychology and the spiritual wisdom of our most effective #ChangeMakers, Samia helps you overcome #LimitingBeliefs, your chains of fear, to develop a #PositiveMindset and create the impact and income you desire with fun and ease… Samia’s advanced signature programs include the Happiness 101 Class and the Transformative Action Training. Samia is also a Certified #ReikiHealer and Crisis Counselor working to promote #MentalHealthAwareness. Samia models #HeartCenteredLeadership and business that is both #SociallyResponsible and #EnvironmentallyFriendly. Samia is a practicing #Muslim with an inter-spiritual approach. As someone who has a love and appreciation for diversity, she is a #BridgeBuilder between people of different faiths and cultures. Although Samia currently lives in California, USA, she has lived in 3 other countries and speaks Hindi, Urdu, and English fluently.

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