Cycle Syncing: Unlock Your Best Self with Balance and Ease!

Cycle Syncing: Unlock Your Best Self with Balance and Ease! With Asbah Shams & Samia Bano

Feeling exhausted, overwhelmed? Life too chaotic as you struggle to achieve #worklifebalance?

Listen now to this interview with Asbah Shams, Productivity & #HighPerformanceCoach For #MuslimWomen Entrepreneurs. Asbah reveals how you can step into your most PRODUCTIVE AND TIME-PRO SELF, overcome overwhelm and relax #likeaqueen.

You will learn about #cyclesyncing and other #holistichealth practices that help #entrepreneurs manage energy, #avoidburnout, and succeed in business while prioritizing well-being and personal fulfillment.

About Asbah:

Dr. Asbah Shams is a medical doctor and a mom of two. She's a #PeakProductivity and #TimeMastery coach for muslimah mompreneurs. With a powerful combination of expertise as an MD in Pathology and a deep-rooted commitment to Islamic values, she is dedicated to helping overwhelmed Muslimah mompreneurs #TakeBackControl of their time, energy, and peace of mind, enabling them to scale their businesses without compromising on their faith, family or feminine fitrah (nature).

Learn more and connect with Asbah at:

https://www.facebook.com/asbah.shams

https://www.instagram.com/drasbahshamsmd

Email : superdoc14@gmail.com

To Book your Free HAPPINESS 101 EXPLORATION CALL with Samia, click: https://my.timetrade.com/book/JX9XJ

#busymoms #entrepreneurlife #ProductivityTips #HighPerformance #muslimwomenentrepreneurs #ManageEnergy #mompreneur #MompreneurSuccess #holistichealthtips #HolisticHealth #femininestrength #liveyourbestlife

Here's the audio version of this episode:

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Full Video Transcript

SAMIA: Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, Privet, Mabuhay, and Dzień Dobry! It's really, really, really good to be with you again. And I know you'll be so pleased you're joining us today because we have a very special guest with us, and it's Asbah Shams, who is a Productivity and High-performance Coach and particularly a great High-Performance Coach for Muslim Women Entrepreneurs. I'm so happy to have you with us Asbah, welcome…

ASBAH: Thank you. Thank you, Samia, for the warm welcome. And I'm happy to be on the podcast and really honored that you gave me this opportunity to talk about something that I'm really passionate about.

SAMIA: Yes, I am so looking forward to our conversation. And before we actually jump into the meat of it, please tell us more about who you are and what you do.

ASBAH: Okay, so my name is Asbah. I live in Delhi, India, with my husband and two young kids. I'm a homeschooling mom, and I'm a former doctor. I did my MD in pathology, and I was working as an assistant professor for a while till it became impossible to continue because there's always somebody breathing on your back, and it's a very competitive job. And I had dreams, and I wanted to do things, create some impact. And I was at that point in my life where I had to take a decision. The burnout, the exhaustion, the overwhelm was getting to me. The mom guilt was intense. And at some point, I had to take my step back, take a break from my job, which everybody thought was a bad idea and something I would regret for my life. But Alhamdulillah, so far, it turns out that it was the biggest, the one great decision I took in my life. And so I explored, how can a woman balance all the different roles and responsibilities that she has... How does she put on each hat quickly and efficiently without putting herself on the back burner? And as I did that, I came across something called cycle syncing. And I have been practicing that. I have been teaching my clients to practice that. And that has been one amazing, amazing lifestyle that allows you to show up for every single thing that's important to you.

SAMIA: You'll have to tell us more... So, for some people may not be familiar with the term cycle syncing, you tell us a little bit more what cycle you're referring to and what it is…

ASBAH: So if you think in the most holistic terms, okay, a cycle is something that starts at a point and then goes all the way around comes back to that same point, okay. And everything in life, if you think about any process in life, it starts from a point of ideation, goes to a work, work, do do do mode, okay? When you're, when you're really executing it, the execution phase, at some point you have to come to the point where you're reviewing it, okay. And then you have to go all the back to start all over again. Repeat the cycle, improve upon it, maintain that consistency, isn't it, isn't it how everything runs? Your business, your parenting, everything, okay? You take one thing out of that cycle and it breaks down.

SAMIA: Yeah.

ASBAH: Yeah. So cycle syncing…. Cycle syncing that I follow is about syncing your everyday life, including your business, including the way you parent, the way you show up every day, syncing it with your natural cycles. And there are many, okay? Like the seasons we have, the lunar cycle we have, then our circadian rhythm, the morning, evening, afternoon, night cycle. And most essentially for women, we have the infradian rhythm, which is our menstrual cycle. And this is one amazing cycle that is like the core part of our femininity, that makes us who we are. And it's driven by hormones which control everything in our body. Like, from physiological point of view, they control every operation, your digestion to your cognition, they control everything. So syncing your everyday lifestyle with the fluctuations of the hormones is cycle syncing. And what it does is that it brings you back to your fifth state, which is the way you are, the way you are supposed to be, and it allows you to show up more authentically, in a relaxed and empowered way, where you're meeting with all your roles and responsibilities with confidence and courage and clarity, and you can get things done quickly and efficiently, which is something I would say every woman wants, isn't it?

SAMIA: Yes, absolutely. You know, you just made me think about… there was this discussion that I was listening to among doctors, researchers… and they were talking about basically how in the medical system, over the course of modern medical history, you know, when… because, you know, modern western medical system is so much aiming to be based and grounded in scientific research. And so, you know, it's like, okay, if you want to understand a disease, if you want to understand best treatments, you have to do research on it. And historically, what's happened in this discipline, though, is that when this… when people have thought about designing research to study various diseases or treatments, they're like, "Okay, well, in order to avoid complications, we are going to focus on studying men as subjects because, you know, with women's menstrual cycles, things can get more complicated". And in this quest to simplify the research process, they basically have historically excluded women from the research. But it has had the consequence that a lot of the understanding that has emerged, the treatments that have emerged, also then do not apply very well and don't work very well for women... And in any case, the doctor, this particular doctor was making the point that this is such a huge problem in our thinking, because women's menstrual cycle, it's not a bug, it's a feature of how we are and how we are built…

ASBAH: Yeah, don't even get me started on that. The period shame, isn't it? Yeah. So we grow up every… like every one of us, we grow up believing that it's okay, I'll survive. I'm just on my period… as if, period is some sort of cancer, it's some sort of virus. Why? It's your physiology... It's your physiology, isn't it? And when did we ever get some sort of period talk? When did someone sat us down and talked about period power, okay? Talked about what are the different beautiful superpowers that come up for you in each phase of your cycle, then empower you for a particular amazing quality and amazing action that can change the world, that can affect and impact somebody's life... And as women, aren't we the nurturers, aren't we the caregivers in the society? And how do we do that? What empowers that? What juices flow within our blood that allow us to show up as those natural caregivers? They are the same hormones that run the cycle for us. Absolutely. It's not a bug... It is a feature. It's the most amazing feature. Okay, it's what makes you… take the cycle out of a woman, what is left in her…

SAMIA: I mean, she's still an amazing person. And, you know, like, in terms of… I know, for example, there are women who, due to various whatever medical issues they may have, and they don't get their cycles. And then guess what? You know, they have health complications, they may not be able to get pregnant, have children.

And then, you know, it's like, of course you can still have an amazing life, you're still an amazing person. But this is an extremely unique feature that we have, that allows us to produce amazing results, to literally participate in the creation of life, you know... And so it's a not something to be downplayed or you're taken lightly or taken for granted. And ask the women who struggle with issues in terms of their cycles because of whatever medical reasons, they'll tell you how much they wish it could be regulated.

ASBAH: Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. It's not like a death sentence. And it's one of the things that really make you who you are. And they bring to the surface the amazing, individual, personalized qualities that you have, that you born with. Every one of us has something special to give, okay. And your cycles, your hormones, especially estrogen, it brings that quality out of. And on specific days, you're so magnetic, and you can be of so much use to the world. Only if you learn how to lean into that power.

SAMIA: Yeah.

ASBAH: And that's the beauty of cycle syncing.

SAMIA: Yeah. So tell me more, because you're right. No one really ever talks to us about this. I remember, like, when I was a kid, one day my mom just took me to the side, and she basically didn't even really... I sometimes wonder if anyone even gave her the talk properly… because, you know, my family is also from India and Pakistan, and certainly in our culture, the only.. like, you don't have sex education in school, for example, you'd be lucky to have, you know, like, studied a course in biology, human biology. I only got to study it when I was, like, maybe 15-16 years old, and that was because I happened to be lucky enough to be studying in a British school system at that time. And they had a course in human biology that was required in that British school system. And so I actually got to take that class. I was like, oh, my God, what am I learning over here? You know, it was like completely new knowledge, because the talk that my mom had given me had given me next to no information about my biology, actually. The thing that her talk had focused on was just how to deal with the logistics of when you're on your period, you know. And so, yeah…

ASBAH: To stay in the safe zone, to let nobody ever know. And while that part is okay, not discounting that, but it's also important for us to know the strengths that our periods bring. It's like you said beautifully, it's not a bug. It's a feature. Yeah. And going back to that research way you talked about, yeah. Most of the research that is taking place not just in healthcare, but even in tech, is oriented towards men, and it's not taking into account women's needs. For example, if you take your phone in your hand, okay. That seems very big and heavy. Why? Because it wasn't tested for, wasn't made for women's hands. It was made to fit into a man's hand. Okay. And if you go down that rabbit hole, you would end up being really angry. So let's not get there. But, yeah, with respect to cycle syncing, one of the interesting things is that it's really unique for every woman. So it's not something that can be put into a lab. Unless you're measuring hormone levels, which, again, has such a high level of fluctuation, there's no particular research that can show those effects. In fact, in the words of one of the prominent scientists, I forget what his name was, he said that the way estrogen talks to the brain… and he could have said that it, you know, insert effect, it does this to the brain, but he said talks to the brain because it cannot be understood. The effect is so variable, it cannot be entirely understood. And it's very intuitive. Like, as a person, through your own lived experience, you can understand what your cycle means to you. But if you take a cohort and you try to test it out on them, okay, the results you get would not be, let's say, very predictive of what happens to the other community. And it's very variable. So from the point of view of research, there hasn't been a lot of research on it. And whatever research is there is mostly related to diet or fitness regimes or sexuality and fertility, because that's the areas that people are interested in when it comes to women. And there's hardly any research on what happens to the brain, what happens to your cognitive ability, what happens to your learning ability, what happens to your memory or your negotiation style when you're going through a phase. And there's hardly ever any research on that because probably people are not interested in women's brains.

SAMIA: I hear you, I hear you... So where... So what is your... How did you start to learn about this? How do you teach women to begin to understand their cycle and how they can sync with it?

ASBAH: Yeah, so I started out… I actually started out doing it on myself, and I started out cycle syncing with the initial pair. And then we ran the first cohort. I did it with my group. And the most striking thing for them was when we were talking about cycles and how each phase affects them and why you're not a zombie or a depressed person... It's just a phase. It's just two days in the month when you feel that way. But because our brain is biased to focus more on the negative side of life rather than the positive ones, it appears that most of the days you're exhausted, like a burnt-out, dead vision, or a zombie, or a very depressed person for no particular reason. And that was the biggest realization for me and for most of my clients… when they felt, seen, heard, and understood that this is who I am. This is my body, and this is how my body speaks to me. And I'm not supposed to be the same amount of energetic or productive every day. And I have to listen to the cues that my body is telling me.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah... Can you give, like, maybe one or two examples. I know we won't have time to delve into the whole cycle and, you know, but maybe if you can give an example of a phase and what happens and how you would address it, etc…

ASBAH: In fact, let's say, for example, that you're working a nine-to-five corporate job and you want to talk about raising your salary. This is a negotiation, okay? And let's say you're in the first phase, which comes after the menstrual phase, which is when your cycles end, okay. When the bleeding stops, that's where the follicular phase starts. In the follicular phase, if you were to do that same negotiation, you would get anxious, overwhelmed, overthinking every single word of the sentences that you're going to say. And you might end up really jittery and shaky when that conversation happens. You might not be in your best self, okay? You might be too jumpy to actually have a calm, composed conversation. If you did it in your luteal phase, which comes in the later half of the cycle, which is like the longest phase, you wouldn't have the energy. You would be more inwards, thinking about, why even are you doing it? Like, life is okay, maybe I shouldn't do it. Maybe it wouldn't look good or, you know, and if you were in the menstrual phase, you would just feel sad for having a job, and you would cry and go to sleep and order some ice cream to cool yourself up. So the best phase to do this particular thing is your ovulatory phase, because that's when you have the physical capacity, the mental energy, the sharpness… the mental sharpness, okay. Not just that, it's the effect of the hormone. During your ovulatory phase, it affects the… the muscles of your throat and your voice becomes really, let's say, beautiful, okay…something that people would like to listen to. So if you were to do that negotiation while you're in your ovulatory phase, there is a very high chance that it would go really well. You might actually end up getting a raise without upsetting anyone, and you will go home really happy with a lot of treats for the kids. And this is the beauty of cycle syncing. When you understand these things, you don't blame yourself. The first thing that goes out the window is self-blame, that there's something wrong with me, you know, imagine doing the same thing in the follicular phase. Going home really angry, really frustrated with yourself. Imagine doing it in your menstrual phase and actually not going home, sitting in a cafe crying because it didn't work out... So when you know which phase brings what superpower and how do you use that to your advantage, life becomes easy and efficient.

SAMIA: Nice, nice. So that makes me think... Okay, so there's an optimal time to do things, do different kinds of activities, etc. depending on where you are in your cycle… what happens, you know, because life doesn't necessarily always work out the way we want in terms of, I may have an ideal scheduled in my mind or when I want to do things, but if, you know, something comes up, I have to take care of it now. It's not the ideal time from my cycle syncing perspective to do this thing, but it's like something urgent I have to take care of now. What happens in that scenario for you?

ASBAH: See, it's not just about syncing your menstrual cycle. It's also about syncing your circadian rhythm... So of course, if something comes up and it's urgent and important, you give it time and you give it its due, whatever you need to do. The important thing is that when your cycle syncing and it becomes a lifestyle, it takes down the level of anxiety and overwhelm and you become a more present, more relaxed person. So whatever comes up in your life, you have the physical and mental ability to deal with it without the chaos that accompanies it. That's one thing. Second thing is that when you’re cycle syncing and it has become, like I said, a lifestyle, okay, these things, they reduce, okay. Most of your life, it becomes organized. It becomes really beautifully organized... And you stop becoming the bottleneck of other people's emergencies and you start taking control of your own calendar, your own goals and dreams. Yeah, yeah, that's it.

SAMIA: Yeah. Okay, okay. So I really like that. So you're saying, and it makes sense also, that the more and more you practice being in harmony with your own cycle, and not just your own very personal menstrual cycle, but the circadian rhythm and other cycles that we exist within, the more calm and organized things tend to become, you feel better and better. So when things do come up, you have more capacity to deal with things. Yeah, because you know, like, as a Happiness Expert, we certainly, you know, talk a lot about your learning to take control of our mental-emotional wellness. And by that, I mean that, yes, you know, you experience ups and downs in life circumstances and in your emotional state, and we can also learn how to regulate ourselves so that, you know, the ups and downs are not quite so up and down, and so forth... And when something… you know, like a lot of it, like, for me, comes down to mindset what you were saying about blame and judgment… I mean, for me, a lot of... Like, when you start to dig down to a lot of the problems that you think you have in life, it actually comes down to… there's judgmental thinking going on that is causing you to actually even perceive the situation as a problem. And if you weren't blaming and judging yourself or other people or other people, and other people blaming and judging you, then you wouldn't even see it as a problem, you know? And we can't do a whole lot about how other people think, but we can certainly do something about how we think. So if at the very least, we stop blaming and judging and putting pressure on ourselves, you know, and being like, "Oh, why couldn't I do this? Or why couldn't I be like that?" But rather to come from a place of loving acceptance of, okay, I'm doing the best I can with what I have and what I know right now, you know, then you don't even… like, the situation doesn't even turn into a problem, because problem is a perspective, you know. So…

ASBAH: Beautiful. Absolutely, yeah. Problem is a perspective. You know, there are two ways of looking at something. How do I do it? And how do I do it? Okay? So one is just trying to escape from the situation, that it can't be done. So let me just say that it. How do I even do it? And the second is when you're just looking for solutions, okay? And, yeah, that's, that's a very beautiful perspective. And that happens when you're in control of yourself and your emotions are not on the wave of, you know, negativity and anger and frustration towards your own self… the self-doubts and the judgment with your own self. And as you beautifully said, that those conflicts are the things that keep us below our own abilities, you know, like a cloud, our good consciousness and understanding of things. And when that goes away, you become more available to your own superpowers and strengths and resources within you, and you're able to deal with the things that come up in life more efficiently and in a positive way.

SAMIA: Yes. And, you know, in your understanding, you know, I'm sure you recognize also that, you know, the way that we function is so… like, there's, at one level you can say, oh, there's so many different systems and things that make us who we are. You know, you have the way your hormones work. You have, you know, the blood circulation system. You have your immune system, you have this system, that system, you know... So if you are in that kind of mindset of looking at things with more and more detail, you keep creating more and more division. But then at the same time, we realize that we are ultimately one whole person and everything works together and it's all interconnected and it's all interdependent. So, yes, our hormones will absolutely have specific impacts on our bodies. And... But it’s… when you think about, okay, well, why are my hormones behaving the way that they're behaving? There's different forces influencing that. Yes, what stage of your cycle you're in. The is a very, very powerful factor in that context. And also another really powerful factor is the way that you think, you know, and, you know… so again, it's like if you're thinking, blaming, judging thoughts, that's going to create a different kind of hormonal life inside of your body… hormonal flow… then if you are thinking loving, calm, compassionate thoughts... So. Cool, cool, cool... Okay, so let me see. So, okay, so we've talked a little bit about the problems that we can run into when we don't understand our cycle, when we don't honor it and live by it… you gave us some really cool examples of what can happen when you do cycle sync, do you have... So in terms of where we can take our conversation next, maybe if you have any suggestions for our listeners on what they can do to begin to help themselves move forward in this direction. What... Yeah.

ASBAH: Yeah. If there's one thing that I would say is that, please know as a woman, you are a highly intuitive person, and you are the one who knows what's going on within you and going around your environment. You pick up cues like no one else does, okay. And your ability to be intuitive in that beautiful ways, lies on the signals your brain receives, which, again, depends on the hormone circulating in your system. And like you said, that everything is interconnected, okay? So listening to those internal cues, it's so, so important to begin with. What that means, practically, is that, let's say you feel like you need to lie down. Then you need to lie down. You need to stop lying to yourself that, oh, I'm okay, I'll manage. I'm a strong woman... Okay, this is not where it works. Please go lie down. If you feel like you can continue working, that's great. And there are days when your body can support that, and there are days when you can thrive on 4 hours of sleep and 5 hours of sleep. But then there are days that you need six, seven or 8 hours of sleep. And you should be compassionate enough with yourself to not judge yourself for sleeping more, needing a nap or needing an ice cream, let's say, not that I'm promoting consumption of unhealthy food… but understanding that sometimes your body might need something from you and listening to those cues is really going to help you live better, healthier and happier.

SAMIA: Ah! You just brought up something that is so important to me also Asbah… it's, you know, listening to our intuition. I mean, this is, I think for both men and women, it's such an important thing. And it's just that, you know, with women, most of us have a much easier time connecting with our intuition and being able to listen to it than a lot of men, which, you know, I think is one of the great gifts of being a woman. And, but, you know, the point is that this is such an amazing and important thing for us to do if we are going to lead healthy, happy lives. Because, you know, I truly believe that our bodies have so much wisdom, so much wisdom... And even, you know, when you are experiencing some kind of disease, it's really… your body is trying to correct things and it's trying to give you signals and help you to get back to healthy and happy. And if we ignore it, if we ignore those signals, if you don't realize what they're trying to tell us, and therefore we don't, we're not able to follow the guidance that our body is trying to lead us towards, then you end up in more trouble, right. But it's really still, your body is still trying to help you. And it's just that, you know, it's like alarm bells. Like, if the alarm bell rings once and you don't,  you know, take appropriate action, it'll ring again and again, and the ringing will get more urgent sounding until you're able to be like, okay, okay, I get it, I get it. Let's fix the issue. Let's fix the problem. And then, you know, it will stop and it'll come calm down because you've taken care of the issue. So it's like… listening to our intuition… But, you know, when you were talking about, you're like, listening to your body and just lying down, if you feel the need to lie down… the thought that came to me, the challenge that some people might experience in taking this approach is dealing with other people. Because I know, like, for me, for a long time, I was very, very, very concerned about what would people think. And I think this happens everywhere for all people in the world. But I think especially in certain cultures, you know, like our Asian cultures, which are much more collectivistic cultures, where, you know, individual identity and so forth, is very de-emphasized, you know, it becomes much harder to resist this concern and even fear of what will people think. And so if I say, okay, my body is telling me I need to rest, I need to go lie down. And I actually even try to do that, as in, I go and do it, but then I start having other people saying things like, oh, you're being lazy. How dare you, you know, ignore your responsibility or duty… and God knows what else, you know, people can say because sometimes people can get really mean. And so then you hear that and it immediately, you know… you're like, oh, my God, up you get and off back to work. And then, you know, you don't feel free to listen to your body. So in this kind of a situation, how would you suggest someone think about what's going on? And how do you, you know, act?

ASBAH: The first thing… a person, like, they completely submit themselves to that need because you are running because of your body, okay. If your body breaks down, think of that. Think of that worst-case scenario. And that happens for so many of us women. We grow up in environments which are really toxic. And then at some point, you develop health conditions that cannot be reversed. You have to take a pill every day. What do you choose? Do you choose a moment of inconvenience for someone else, not for you, someone else's inconvenience? Or do you choose taking a pill the rest of your life, right? Then again, when you sit with your own authenticity and you know that you're doing this for your own self, for your own sake, and then those… you're able to really develop that muscle where you're able to shrug off that judgment from your... that someone is pushing onto you and you're able to show up for yourself, that, hey, I need that break. Everybody needs break. And I'm a human being, and I, me taking a break is only going to get me charged up and show up more powerfully for my responsibilities. Me not taking a break is going to get me burnt out and foggy-brained. So whatever I'm trying to do, I'm going to do it better if I'm going to take rest now.

SAMIA: Yeah.

ASBAH: And coming from that point of view, do you know that there are so many millionaires out there who like, schedule rest?

SAMIA: A scheduled rest. Yes, yes, yes...I mean, I think that is something every wise person does… you know, I mean, it's like one of my mentors was telling me actually more than one of my mentors because, you know... Gosh, okay, so these people that I'm talking about, you know, this was, you know, I move in a lot of circles where we talk about doing what you love, and living a life that you love, and make money doing what you love, and so on and so forth. And, you know, like people in these circles, yes, we want to be successful, we want to achieve also financial success, etcetera... And at the same time, as one of my mentors, he was actually the first one… the reason I'm thinking of him is because he's the first one that spoke about this issue that really, really hit me. And since then, I've, you know, seen and heard and had lots of other people talk to me about this as well. And I talk about this myself now also. But anyway, the point here is about, you know, even if you are striving for success in terms of I want to get rich, I want to have lots of money, I want to have a great house, whatever... But why do you want that? And what will you do when you have it? You know, it's like if you are working, working the whole time, but you’re stressed, you're compromising your health, you've compromised your relationships in the process, etcetera, and you have millions of dollars, even billions of dollars. What kind of a life is that really? You know, that's certainly not a life that you love living. That's certainly not a life where you love, you know, yourself and etcetera. So if you care about being happy, if you care about, you know, living a life that you really, truly love, you have to… even the way that you structure your work, the work that… even the choice of work that you do needs to align with this intention, you know, and so, like, if you're going to set up a business... And so he was talking about it in the context of how, like, first of all, what kind of business are you going to do and how can you structure it in a way that you can have time for yourself… to rest and to play and to devote to your relationships that are important to you and still have a thriving business. And a lot of people don't think about this when they're setting up their business structures and so forth. But it's like if you make that an intention and a priority and you think about how you can make it happen, you can make it happen, you know? And so... and he gave us so many examples of, okay, this kind of business, you could run it like this, or you could run it like this... That kind of business, you could run it like this, or you could run it like this... And in one scenario, you have more time freedom. You have, you know, more, and, you know, just more freedom for yourself, and in the other scenario, you don't.

ASBAH: That's so true. And for most of us, you know, we grew up believing that in order to have one thing, you have to sacrifice the other things, okay. And that's such a wrong mindset, because why do you want to sacrifice something and why can't you have it all? Okay? And you can, if you try, and if you're coming from the right place, you have the right intentions, you have the right strategies and systems, you can have it all. You can have a thriving business. You can have time for self-care. You can spend time with your kids and family and go on vacations, and you can still have some time to read that extra book or do that extra class that you wanted to show up every day for, your fitness plans, for your… your Quran time, okay? Everything... You can find time for everything. And you can create that elusive balance in life if you're intentional about it. And cycle syncing is something that supports this, that supports this holistic, intentional lifestyle because it starts from that root of honoring your needs first, before you go out in the world and try to create something tangible… you have to first honor your own needs and create a beautiful atmosphere in here that supports …and that’s kind of usually more long-lasting and more fulfilling. I've seen coaches, amazing coaches, burn out from doing all the extra work… miss out, go underground, completely disappear for two years, and then reappear, repeat that process. It's not... You're not worth it. You deserve better. Every one of us, we deserve better. We deserve to have both, and we don't have to sacrifice anything, anything…

SAMIA: Yes. Yes. I hear what you're saying, and I love what you're saying. You know what you just made me think about also when you mentioned Quran time is how much wisdom there is in our tradition... I mean, now I'm talking and thinking about our Islamic tradition, our Muslim tradition, where, you know, for example in, like, as Muslim, you know, there are certain rituals that, ritual forms of worship that as Muslims, we are committed to performing. And one of the very important rituals that we perform is daily prayers. Another really important ritual that we perform is fasting, once a month… No, not once a month. Sorry... The required fasting, if you are physically healthy enough to do it, it's like one month of the year. And there's other different aspects of ritual worship that we do. But I was thinking about prayer, the ritual prayer and the fasting in this moment, because actually, we are taught that for women, when you're on your period, that you take a pause, so you don't fast while you're on your period. You don't do the ritual prayer when you're on your period. And for a lot of Muslim women I know, they feel very upset about this because, you know, there is this mindset of… we're not allowed to pray and, like, there's something wrong with us because we're not allowed to pray or fast when we are having our periods. And it means there's something wrong… because to be able to pray… such… I mean, it's, I mean, you know, it's like, considered, like, oh, it's the way that you connect with God. And so if you're not able to do this ritual prayer or the fasting, then it's like, oh, then it's somehow compromising my ability to connect with God. And that is so sad. That is so, you know, like, disturbing for these women to think about and to feel and to experience in that way. And, you know, when I used to think like that, I was not happy either. I wonder if you have a perspective you would like to share on this…

ASBAH: Instead of thinking that I'm not allowed to pray, if we shift that perspective a little bit and say that I'm exempted from praying. And praying is the pillar of Islam, so it's really important. It's obligatory upon every one of us to pray. And if you are exempted from something that's so important, it means you can take a break, you can take a chill pill, it's okay. And there are other forms of worship that you can absolutely do while you're on your menstrual phase. And what I tell my clients is that menstrual phase is a time of self-care. It's the time for rejuvenation when you go within and nurture yourself. You can nurture yourself with any kind of self-care. You can go to spa or take baths or take a massage while you have the Quran recitation being played in the background. And there's so many different forms of worship. But the best, what I personally think, during menstrual phase is really aligned with the wisdom of menstrual phases… which is reflection. So you read the story from the Quran or from the hadith, and then you think about it, reflect upon it, think what kind of thoughts are coming up. Journal it. Okay. Connect your life to air. And it's a beautiful ritual that you can have during the menstrual phase. It's very grounding and it had, it has its effect on you. It gives you that dose of positivity that you need when you in your menstrual phase because otherwise it might get very depressing. And I've heard of women having crying spells. Okay, because some uncomfortable emotions come up, some past painful memories come up, and that's usual when you're high-strung in anxiety and depression. So this ritual has been very supportive and like a source of support. And instead of praying, you can do charity, you can just lie on your bed and read a religious book. There's so many other forms of remembering or worshiping him that you can do.

SAMIA: Yes. And I just for those of our listeners who not be familiar, because we do also have non-Muslims listening to our show, the, the ritual prayers that I'm referring to that women are exempted from during their menstrual periods, these are very physical, these are very physical prayers. These ritual prayers require a lot of physical movement going up and down. You prostrate, you know, all the way with your head on the floor and so forth. So there's a lot of physical movement involved with this form of ritual prayer. And this is… we're not talking about prayer where it's a mental-emotional engagement. No, we're talking about this specific form of ritual prayer that is very physically oriented in addition to having a mental-emotional aspect to it. And, you know, I have been thinking Ash about, you know, that, you know, there is... I'm, again, you know, that what we were saying towards the beginning of our conversation, that there isn't a lot of research that has been done on these issues. But, you know, I really trust that if our creator has given us this guidance that, you know, when you're on your period, take a pause from this form of ritual prayer, there has to be wisdom behind it that is for our benefit. So we don't know, you know… like, I'm thinking if someone did research on, you know, how different postures, taking different body postures can impact your… impact you when you're on your periods. Because, you know, now I'm thinking about when I practice yoga, and in yoga, they actually recognize different kinds of cycles that happen. And there's, for example, certain postures that you're supposed to… that are optimal for you to do during the morning time. And there are certain postures that are optimal for you to do during the afternoon, and certain postures are optimal for you to do during nighttime. And, you know, in America, most people are not aware of this. But in India, if you're familiar with the yoga culture and, you know, beyond the surface level, you know that there are appropriate times to perform various postures. So you don't just do any posture at any time. And a lot of that is because yoga recognizes the existence of these different cycles and is trying to help us align with them. So there are certain, for example, postures that are postures that are restorative and restful. And so you won't do them at a time when you need to generate more energy in your body, like in the middle of the day, when you need to be very active and energetic. You will do them more, like in the evening before you know, you're going to go to sleep and so forth. So you actually, then you help your body to go to sleep in a more restful way and more easily, rather than… or the vice versa example where, you know, you do a posture that energizes your body, but now you have to go to sleep. You know, there's like... So I'm wondering if there could be, you know, reasons of that sort that, you know, these physical… because the prayer, the ritual prayer is so physically oriented, there may be, you know, wisdom behind why we are encouraged to not engage in those postures while we may be on our periods. I know for a fact with fasting, for example, there has been some research just in the last few years that has come out in the context of health fasting, where they finally started to look at the impact of fasting and how it relates to women's menstrual cycles. And they actually did find in that research that it's important for women to sync the practice of their fasting with their menstrual cycles. Because previously, in all the health fasting research, what they had been finding was consistently the men were seeing certain results. And for the women, those results were not consistent and they were not always as good as for the men. And finally, it occurred to some researchers that maybe this is because of women's cycles and fasting, you know? And so they started to look into this factor of, you know, what happens when you fast and what stage of your menstrual cycle you are in as a woman. And they were like, oh, there's definitely a relationship here and a strong impact and so forth. So, again, our menstrual cycles are a feature, they're not a bug. It's really, really important for us to understand this.

ASBAH: Absolutely. And, you know, you talked about yoga and including yoga and all, almost all the ancient cultures, they understand that brain-body connection. So they have rituals that help you… You know, there are two types of brain-body connections, okay? One is top-bottom approach, and the other is bottom-up approach. So yoga is kind of like bottoms-up approach, where you trying to connect the body with the mind. Meditation is an example of a top-down approach. Okay? So most of the ancient cultures, they have an intrinsic ritual within them that connects the mind and the body. For example, for us, it's the ritualistic five daily prayers where we have to move our bodies, not like we're sitting here and praying. And that creates that dissociation from the world around us and association with our own senses and with our own intentions and the inward… looking inwards within us. Okay. And similarly, you have yoga, you have the other sciences, which are ancient… Chinese and Japanese cultures… are not familiar with most of them, but most of the ancient cultures, they have those practices that include ritualistic brain-body connection exercises, because they understand the interconnectedness between them.

SAMIA: Yes. Oh, gosh... So, you know, we could probably talk for another hour about this issue, but it's been almost an hour since we've been talking, Ash. I've been having so much fun with you, but I think probably it'll be good for us to wrap up for today. Do you have any last thoughts you'd like to share?

ASBAH: I would just say that whatever you do… in life, in business, honor yourself and honor your body and go with your own flow, rather than taking yourself on the back burner and going with the flow of others. That's not very holistic, and that doesn't last long at all.

SAMIA: Yes. Go with your flow rather than other people's flow... I love that. I love that. That is such an amazing aspect of how to make change fun and easy. Thank you for sharing that with us and so much more Asbah. And for my last reminder, I will just remind our audience, please make sure you check the show notes, because I will be including Asbah's links in there so you can connect with her and continue to learn more and get the help and support you need whenever you're ready. So until we connect next time, I wish you lots and lots of peace and joy. :)