Blog: Make Change Fun And Easy

How To Build Unstoppable Confidence In Business! With Anna Bryne & Samia Bano.

How To Build Unstoppable Confidence In Business!

June 14, 202439 min read

How To Build Unstoppable Confidence In Business!
With Anna Bryne & Samia Bano.

Has self-doubt been holding you back from the bold action you need & want to take in business (or your life)?

Listen now to my conversation with Anna Bryne, #ConfidenceCoach, as we explore the crucial role of #selfconfidence, #selflove and #selfbelief in the #entrepreneurialjourney (and life as a whole).

We share our personal stories and insights from working with entrepreneurs who faced the brink of despair, battling constant self-doubt and #fearoffailure. Even though they knew #allispossible they didn't believe it was possible for them. Yet they discovered how to reignite their passion and drive, and build #unstoppableconfidence, moving closer to their dreams and goals.

✨Discover strategies to #overcomeselfdoubt and reinforce your self-belief.

✨Learn practical tips to maintain momentum in your business, even when the going gets tough.

✨And much more!

Connect with Anna at:

To Book your Free HAPPINESS 101 EXPLORATION CALL with Samia, click:

#liveyourbestlife #livejoyfully #achivesuccess #TimeAndMoney #prosperitynow #abundancemindset #workaholiclife

Here's the audio version of this episode:



Full Video Transcript

ANNA: How are you, Samia?

SAMIA: I'm doing great, Anna. So good to be with you today…

ANNA: It's so happy… It's so great to have you here as well. So this is podcasts done by Samia. So I am giving Samia the, you know, opportunity to do it her way. Thank you so much for having me here, though…

SAMIA: No, no. Thank you, Anna. For those of you who are watching right now or listening to us, and if you don't know me, my name is Samia Bano. I'm your Happiness Expert and I'm most known for my podcast, Make Change Fun and Easy. And this is a show where we basically work with a community of ChangeMakers who are passionate about making change in their lives and also in the world. And many of our changemaker community folks are fellow coaches, and trainers and healers. And we want to learn how to make change more fun and easy because oftentimes it can feel hard and lonely. But it doesn't have to be that way…

ANNA: That's so true.

SAMIA: Yes. And that is one reason why I'm so excited today to be in conversation with you, Anna, because you are a Confidence Coach and Breathwork Healing Facilitator and you help people develop unstoppable confidence. I think that's so amazing. And for sure that's something that makes change more fun and easy. So welcome to you for my audience also…

ANNA: Thank you so much. It's great to be here. It really is... And Happiness Coach, I absolutely love it. Who doesn't want to be happy, right?

SAMIA: Indeed, indeed. And Anna, please, please, for my audience who is not as familiar with you, please tell us more about who you are and what you do…

ANNA: Okay, thank you. So my name is Anna Byrne and I am Confidence Coach and Breathwork Practitioner. And what I like to say, like my big vision, my big dream is to help support female entrepreneurs in becoming unstoppable. And what I mean by that is finding this deep love for themselves which creates unstoppable confidence… because I believe confidence and self-love is really something very connected. So using mindset and breathwork, I really help them… I really support them in releasing what doesn't serve them and then creating this unstoppable belief in themselves. So they believe in themselves so much, they are not afraid to do anything. They just take a bold step in their businesses and they achieve amazing results.

SAMIA: I love it. I love it. You know, both of us, we are entrepreneurs, so we know, we have been through this journey, we are continuing to grow in this journey also. So it's not just that we have learned some theory about what works, we're actually living this journey ourselves. And so that's something I really appreciate about you, Anna, that you are not just coming from a place of theoretical knowledge, but actually you are also working to implement all of the things that you teach others... you're implementing it in your own life and in your own business as well.

ANNA: Yes, definitely. Listen, I wouldn't be here if I wouldn't go through that journey myself. So a few years back, you wouldn't even think, I wouldn't even think I can be in the place where I am right now. My self-image and my identity was so low. I didn't believe in myself at all. I was trying to build a business. I joined network marketing company. I knew I wanted more in my life. I knew I wanted something different. I knew I want to build different life for me and for my kids, for my family, but... And I was taking loads of actions, but I didn't see any results. And then when I started to dig deeper, I understood that I didn't really believe in myself… and I could show up live, I could take all the actions that, you know, everybody told me what to do… the normal actions, follow, like prospect, follow up, show up, right... I was doing all that, but I realized that I didn't believe in myself. I didn't feel worthy, I didn't feel deserving. And since I started to change that, and I'm still working on that, don't get me wrong, right, my confidence is so much better. But when you're building your business and you're going to the next level, and next level, next level, you always have to work on yourself, you always have to adjust. So I believe with everything that I learned, with every tool that I have, I really can support women that need this belief in themselves to go to the next level.

SAMIA: Yes. You just shared something, Anna, that I think is so important for people to realize… that… this idea of our being confident, having confidence, it's not like zero-sum game in terms of, it's not like either you have confidence or you don't. There are degrees of confidence and there's depth to how much confidence you already have and how much more you can have. Because even for you to have made the decision, or for me to have made the decision, or any of our listeners to even make the decision to start their own business, to become an entrepreneur, that requires a certain level of confidence. It's not a decision that most people, frankly, would be even willing to make. And so it's not that, you know, when we start out, we don't have any confidence. Of course we do... But like you said, Anna, it's like as you go through the journey, challenges come up and, you know, you're like, oh, my gosh, here is something new I haven't faced before. And so then in that new situation, you can find your confidence shaking or you find yourself, oh, my gosh, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I know enough about this or if I have enough to deal with this particular challenge. And so then you sort of have to work on your confidence building again.

ANNA: Yes. You know what? This is so true... What I noticed very often with entrepreneurs, starting business is not difficult. You decide to be entrepreneur, right? But then when you stumble upon these challenges, that's what it really shows you if either you grow or you stay where you are, because being entrepreneur is a journey. Oh, my God, it is a journey and especially journey of self-discovery, right? So when I work with my clients, we always work on these deep-rooted beliefs, right... And once, you know, you discover your beliefs, once you learn what to change, the change becomes easier. But every single time you… like, we stumble upon challenges all the time. But that's life, right. For me right now, this is exciting because I know every challenge is opportunity to grow. But if you don't have this confidence in yourself, you may think, oh, my God, this is not for me. Oh, my God, I'm not meant to be entrepreneur. And people are giving up on their dreams. And I hate to look at that because I see so many amazing women trying to build a business and they just give up because they just don't believe in themselves enough to fight for it. Do you know what I mean?

SAMIA: I know what you mean... I know what you mean. I mean, you know, the statistics are actually shocking… if you look at the statistics in America, and I'm sure it's probably similar in other parts of the world, too, but I know the stats for America are that every year loads and loads of new businesses are established and 98% of them actually shut down within one year. And then of the two percent that survive the first year, 90 plus percent of them shut down within five to seven years of having started. And so if you have been going on beyond five-seven years as a business, wow... I mean, you are part of a small minority of people who have attempted to start and have a business… And so, like, when we think about, oh, my gosh, why is business so challenging? Why are so many people failing? You know, a lot of times we think about outside circumstances. You know, okay, there's lack of money, the market's bad, this or that, and, of course, those things are there... And I think a lot… what a lot of people don't realize, and they under value and under count, and to their own detriment, is this confidence piece, the self-belief piece. Because if you have this kind of unstoppable confidence that, Anna, you help women to develop, it doesn't matter what challenges come up, you know, you keep going, and if one idea doesn't work, you will come up with another idea. You will pivot to some other variation/version of what you have in your mind to achieve, you know. I know for me, I have pivoted so many times in my work, in my business. I started my coaching/training practice in 2012, and, oh, my gosh, have I pivoted, like, so many times... I've changed my messaging. I've changed my focus on the audience that I primarily work with. I've changed what I do with my audience, my people in the community over time… because I thought there was something that people needed to learn in terms of how to be happy. But if someone doesn't want to learn something, then, you know, you can't force it…

ANNA: can't teach them, right?

SAMIA: Yes, exactly. And so one of the things I had to figure out was, what is it that people want to learn, that I can also connect to what I want to teach and share?... And just figuring that out, I mean, it took, like, a good two, three years, at least, of trying out, like, different strategies, different angles, different kinds of messaging, you know…

ANNA: Yeah. I think the first thing, what I would say, what I see with the entrepreneurs that I'm working with… sometimes because they don't feel confident in themselves, and then they don't feel like, you know, they can actually achieve their goals, they don't set up the right goals. And you know yourself, when you don't have the right goal, when you don't have something that really excites you, it's very easy to give up, isn't it? So when you have a goal that inspire you and when you… like, confidence is something you can learn. Very often we say, oh, confidence… I either was born with confidence or I wasn't... I used to have this belief. I looked at the other people and I was like, oh, I would be like, oh, my God, they are so confident… how they were born that way and I wasn't… which is not true... Everybody can learn confidence, but you have to have a big enough why, big enough goal, to actually go through this discomfort, because you will be feeling discomfort, right…

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah.

ANNA: And especially as an entrepreneur, like, 95% is mindset job... Yes, strategy is very important. Like, I'm not saying it's not, but if you don't believe in yourself, if you don't believe you deserve things, it's very easy to either not to do what you're supposed to do, or do so many actions, not necessarily the right actions, but with the wrong energy, right. We all know that energy is very important, right. So when you are doing that, it's… It's easy to get burn out and go back to your work or whatever you, you are doing right now, thinking you are not meant to be an entrepreneur. I don't believe that... Maybe not everybody meant to be an entrepreneur, but if you have this calling deep inside you that you really would love to do something different with your life, I think you are meant for it.

SAMIA: Yes... Yes. You know, when you mentioned doing even the right things, but with the wrong energy, immediately a memory got triggered in my mind of this one lady. I actually went to her shop. She had a shop where she sells medical equipment, like, for people with disabilities, because my brother has a serious disability. And actually, at that time, I was doing some research on getting a new mattress for him for his medical bed. And so we went to this store and we asked the lady, well, what mattress options you have? And we asked her some questions about… basically trying to research our options, right. And she was very… there was like, immediately, you know, you... I could feel that there was something off about her energy. And at some point, she was like, you're asking too many questions, and are you even going to actually buy a mattress from me? Because why should I give you all of this information if you're not even going to buy from me? So I want to know if you're going to buy from me and only then will I help you any further. And so, I mean, immediately, like, for me, that was like a big turn-off. I mean, I mean, I absolutely need a mattress for my brother. And I'm, like, in the market. I'm, like, customer who's actively looking to buy, but, you know, I need to do my research. I need to make sure find the right option, etcetera... But when she responded to me in that way, I was immediately, like, feeling a sense of… being turned off. And I was like, I don't know if I want to be working with you…

ANNA: I totally understand you. So, yes, there are… You know, there are different people, and sometimes people just want to make a sale, right. And don't want to even think what. What you need, right. So... And, yeah, doing the many things with wrong energy can actually go to that, right. Because you are just trying... trying to do something but not necessarily connecting… Does this make sense?

SAMIA: Yes, yes. And I think, like, for me, because we were talking about confidence, I think for her, what I… like, beyond feeling turned off in the moment and by her attitude, I think what I recognize is that underneath that attitude, she was feeling a lot of fear and anxiety in terms of, like, what if I don't make a sale and my business might, you know, maybe like, struggling or, you know, whatever… And her confidence was shaking and she was scared. And so it came out like that, you know…

ANNA: This is so important... You are totally right. So very often when you do something and you don't believe you actually can achieve it, like, when you're going towards your goal and you don't believe you can achieve it, you are just pushing it, right. You're pushing... The energy is pushing. So even today in my group, I've done a video about being instead of doing. Because when you ask yourself, right, okay, my goal is to sell, I don't know, five mattresses... Who do I get to be in order to achieve these goals, right? I need to be confident. I get to be confident. I get to be open. I get to be… I don't know… friendly, right... So when you even do this simple exercise every day and ask yourself, who do I get to be in order to achieve my goal? And you write these affirmations, right. I get to be confident. I get to be bold, to step out of my comfort zone. I get to be friendly. I get to be focused, right… So even when you do these simple things, your energy changes…

SAMIA: Yeah.

ANNA: Because before we do something, we always have to be... I actually learned that very recently using actually this, this process from my mentor. And I am in love with that.

SAMIA: Yeah.

ANNA: Every single morning, just set an intention in order to do... to achieve my goal… Who do I get to be today?

SAMIA: Yes. Yes... You know, Anna, you and me, we are working on the same wavelength today because literally this morning, I was having a conversation with one of my people and she was actually calling me and us wanting to get some coaching because she has a big speaking engagement later today. And basically, you know, she is an expert at doing interfaith work and the group that she's going to speak to today is a group of Muslims and Jews. And these days, tensions between Muslims and Jews are very high. And the community of Muslims and Jews that she's actually going to go speak to today, she's expecting them to be hostile. I mean, on the one level, they've invited her to come. It's a student group on one of the campuses here in the US. So on the one hand, they have invited her to come and speak and share and so forth. But on the other hand, she has been told that, you know, things are hot in the community, student community at the time, and they're expecting definitely some troublemakers to be present because that has… it's just been part of the reality of whenever, you know, these, like, any Muslim-Jewish related event is being put on, troublemakers show up with the intention to make trouble. And so she was feeling a bit nervous and she was like, can we talk together about what is really important for me to say? What should I share? Because… and one reason she was asking me that is because I also actually do a lot of interfaith work. And my first response to her was exactly what your response… what you were talking about, Anna, was... I was like, no, let's first think about who you need to be rather than what you need to say. Because as long as you’re being who you need to be, what you need to say will come out more naturally, more, more easily, and without you having to worry about it.

ANNA: This is so true. I always hear, and I always say that as well, that in order to achieve your goal, you need to become the person you need that achieved your goal. You have to shift your identity, you have to shift the way you are thinking, you are acting... You also shift the beliefs. That's why, you know, I work with the, like, I work with all of that. Because by shifting your beliefs, right, confidence is all self-love is, you know, it's self-worth… all of that, right. All of these, all the fears, right? So when you shift that and when you shift the way you see yourself, be yourself, then everything around you shifts…

SAMIA: Yeah.

ANNA: Right? You attract different people, you attract different opportunities. You even project differently. So, like the lady you are coaching, it's enough for her to change the projection, right.. She has to be an amazing speaker who inspires everybody. And the energy in the room can completely change. It's crazy how these little shifts can change everything.

SAMIA: Yes, it's true. It's true... The person with the strongest energy wins. You know, like, somebody gave me this great analogy, it was like one of my teachers when I was learning with them about energy and confidence, and they said… look, we all are on some kind of energetic frequency. And when you're a bunch of people together, well, who... If there's… let's say… I mean, it's literally that, that whoever has the highest energy, who is more strongly grounded in their energy…. actually, it's not always about the highest energy. It's about who is the most strongly grounded in their energy -- that's the person who's going to win. Because I have had the experience, actually, of, like, usually, usually I'm very strongly grounded in my energy, and my energy at the least, and most of the time, at the least is, like, calm and... What's the word I'm looking for? …Like, cheerful… at the very least, generally, my baseline is minimum cheerful level energy, you know, and I'm pretty strongly grounded in that. And then I'm usually working on, you know, when I need to, you know, I can raise my energy. I work on not letting it drop beyond calm and cheerful… But I have been in the presence of people whose negative energies so strong that I couldn't maintain my calm cheerfulness. And I realized and recognized that about myself. And I was like, okay, I need to step away. This is not a person I can help right now because they're actually more strongly grounded in their negative energy. I mean, in one case, this happened with a lady who was extremely traumatized. You know, she was in an abusive relationship, and she was experiencing such strong anxiety, stress, like, depression even... And also, you know, expressing it as, like, very strong anger. And she was like… and whatever was going on with her that day and whatever was going on with me that day, I actually couldn't maintain my peace and calm in the face of what I was feeling from her. And so, you know, I had to step away. And, you know, and that's just the reality of, you know, what happens sometimes. Most of the time, you know, you know, I'm able to actually hold my energy with the clients that I'm working with because I work with lots of people who have experienced trauma or experiencing trauma. And most of the time, I'm the one who's holding my energy stronger, and I'm able to help them calm down and feel better, but sometimes I'm not, you know…

ANNA: That's why I think there is two things very important. First is if you're building yourself, it's very important to find the right people for you. It's very important to find the circle of people that will lift you up. But also, I think not everybody is open for coaching... Not everybody is ready for change. So sometimes, like, I like to sometimes say, "I won't work with you yet because you are not ready. So I don't feel I can help you." Right... Because sometimes people are not ready. And when we are trying to help and they don't want this help, they don't receive it. And that's why also the energies are, you know, you can... It can bring you, bring you down. But what I love to do myself, when we are talking about energy, I know a few people that I know when I go around them, they will put my energy down. There is just this energy exchange, right? We are exchanging energy all the time. So what my healer taught me is just to imagine myself putting… Imagine putting myself in a bubble, like a protective bubble. And I do that. And this helps…

SAMIA: Yeah. 

ANNA: I don't know. It's magic... I don't know, but it helps… because there are some people in our life that we cannot avoid. There are some people we can say, okay, I not necessarily going to see them because whatever... But there are some people that you can't avoid.

SAMIA: Yes. 

ANNA: Or you leave too close or whatever, right. So then I just use my bubble thing. I imagine myself sitting in a bubble… protective, protective bubble. And, you know, like my energy stay mine.

SAMIA: Yes, yes... That is a really important lesson because especially when we're talking about developing unshakeable confidence, to learn how to not take on other people's energy, that's a really important lesson and a really important skill to develop, because you're so right. I mean, we are constantly in this energetic exchange. But to learn how to choose not to exchange with a particular person at a particular time, when you can… when you know that, okay, I'm being negatively impacted. I don't want to be negatively impacted, to then be able to create that protective bubble around you that's so, so important, and so cool.

ANNA: Yes. And when you are... When you are building, like when you're changing your life, when you're building your confidence in yourself, you are changing, your energy is changing. And people outside see that. People notice that… not everybody is going to be happy about your change. You may think that, you know, everybody's gonna be so cheerful. No, because some people are… got you… they've got the idea of you as they are, as you are right now, or as you were before you started to work on yourself. And even those people can take/drag your energy, right. Because they are not ready for you to show up differently. So this what you said is very important to protect yourself from this energy. It's really important to stay focused. Who I get to be… I get to be focused on me... I get to be focused on my goal and actually stay in your personal bubble. Don't let anybody or anything drag you down, because, listen, people are people. Some people wish you well, some people don't wish you well... And we have to accept that, right? We just have to accept that. But we don't have to necessarily let their opinion... and especially when you're building yourself, when you working towards, you know, better you, it's very important to not let other people influence you… not only energetically, but also word wise… who do you think you are… right? It can happen. So it's very important to protect yourself.

SAMIA: That is so true. That is so true. It reminds me of the saying that we have in the Indian-Pakistani culture. It's like a wisdom saying, you know, that you should be very careful about who you share your dreams with. And actually, you know, that whether your dream is a good dream or a bad dream, you want to be very, very careful about who you share your dream with. Because people can not only squash your dream, and oftentimes it's not necessarily with bad intention, but, you know, maybe they're just not thinking about how their words or behaviors might impact you in terms of you feeling discouraged about following your dreams, etcetera. But sometimes people actually will deliberately try to squash your dreams... So there, there are those who have ill intention and they can squash your dreams. And then there are a lot more people, I think, who, without ill intention, end up having an impact of discouragement on you. And so to be very careful about who you share your dream with and only share it with the people that you can really trust to listen to you and be there in a supportive way for you.

ANNA: Yes, sometimes people want to protect you, and because they see you as you are right now, they don't see your dream. So when they want to protect you, that doesn't necessarily serve you because they can discourage you. That's why having unstoppable confidence and belief in yourself is very important. Because even if somebody doesn't believe in what you want to achieve, you believe.

SAMIA: Yes. 

ANNA: And when you believe, you are either going to find different people that support you or you just gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna go for your dreams anyway because you, you know, you know you're meant for this... You know that what you're doing, it has to be done. And you don't let other people to stop you.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. You know, this makes me think, Anna, about, like, a problem that we can run into when we are committed to developing and living with unstoppable confidence… is, like, is there some kind of a line or a balance for us to achieve when it comes to having a “no matter what” attitude to achieve our dreams... Because, for example, the person who is popping in my mind right now is Vladimir Putin.

ANNA: Okay, so…

SAMIA: …president of Russia, right. And the reason he's popping in my mind, it's because, you know, when he attacked Ukraine, this is now, what, like, two years ago, I did some, like, you know… like, I connected with my heart, and I was like, yo heart... Like, you know, our hearts are source of spiritual wisdom. And so I was, like, trying to get some perspective and understanding on, like, what's going on in this situation and what we can do about it and so forth. And what my heart revealed to me about Vladimir Putin is that he actually has this attitude of, I'm not going to let anything stop me from achieving the dream that I have and the goal that I have. And so, like, he cannot be negotiated with. He cannot be… in terms of, like, if you want him to give up on his dream, it's not going to happen…

ANNA: Okay, so, I... My intake take on that is, first of all, we… I think what we can do only in that situation to send lots of love, because only love, you know, can heal us. But unstoppable confidence doesn't mean you're gonna do something, hurting others.

SAMIA: Yeah.

ANNA: For me, unstoppable confidence means that you are something… You do something for somebody, not against somebody... So because when you use your energy to destruct something, that's... For me, I don't understand that, right. But what I stand for and when I coach my client, when I'm, you know, working with them, we talk about, you know, how, like, to not use what we teach, what we learn against somebody… because, first of all, energy comes back. Eventually it's gonna come back. Right... But on the other side, when you help others, the help, the energy is gonna come back, right... So I'm not sure what's going on with, you know, with the president there, but the only thing I know is we can send lots of love.

SAMIA: Yeah.

ANNA: And we can do our best to build ourselves to be the examples, to show up as the best of ourselves, to help and support others… because when we stand together, we achieve much more.

SAMIA: Yeah.

ANNA: Good is always winning. Always wins... It takes a little bit longer, at times a little bit shorter, but it always wins. So why not to stand together in this beautiful energy… confident, powerful and loving energy to actually build something beautiful.

SAMIA: Yes. Yes. I think you're right. You're so right over there that we have to… like, you cannot live confidence in isolation or divorced from your other values. You have to be very conscious about what other values you have and live in a way that they complement each other and they're consistent with each other. It's like, on the one hand, you know, if you just focus on being super confident, being unstoppable, you can become uncaring about what happens… who you hurt in your way, you know… But it's like, no, no, let's not... Let's not do that.

ANNA: So the way I teach... the way I teach unstoppable confidence, it all starts with becoming… loving yourself…


ANNA: And when you love yourself, you cannot hurt others. That's how I look at this…

SAMIA: Yeah.

ANNA: Because that's what you say… Unstoppable confidence can mean, like, you know, I am full of me, I'm just going for it. No... For me, unstoppable... That's why I chose what I'm doing, because my passion is to help women to fall in love with themselves. Because when they love themselves, they automatically create this unstoppable confidence, right. And when you do that, we as a women especially, we are changing the lives... We are changing lives of our families, of our kids. And when we change the lives of our kids, they gonna change their life, of the kids and all that. So it's gonna be like a ripple effect where, you know, everybody is gonna love themselves a little bit more. And when we love ourselves a little bit more every single day, you know, we create a beautiful environment. We love spending time with each other.

SAMIA: Yeah.

ANNA: So, yes, I know what you're saying when you say unstoppable confidence can feel like, oh, I am, you know, the boss, and you listen to me, I am, you know, so confident you're not gonna talk to me. No, that's not what I teach. For me, all starts with self-love. And when you love yourself, there is no way you can hate somebody else.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. You know, I would love to dig a little deeper into it with you, because for a lot of people.. I know when I'm talking to a lot of people in my community, when I first start working with them, and I start talking to them about, you have to love yourself and love yourself more and love yourself better, because that is the foundation of how you make change more fun and easy and create happiness in your life... For a lot of my people because they're so giving, they're so heart-centered people… but, you know, the way the dominant culture is and the way in the dominant culture, people think about the idea of self-love… when I started to talk to my people about loving themselves more and better, many of them have this reaction of… oh, no, but that's selfish... I cannot do that. You know, and they just want to focus on being… continuing to be more giving and giving others, because they think it's selfish, that it's prideful or arrogant if you focus on loving yourself more, or even just focus on loving yourself, because, you know, it's like, it's selfish to focus on loving yourself. So tell me more about, you know, this idea of loving yourself and how it actually helps you love other people more…

ANNA: So what I say is you cannot pour from the empty cup… if, especially when you have a kids… If you have kids, you know how much they love, how much unconditional love they give you. And there can't be… like, if you're giving, you're just, and you're not open to receiving, you are blocking. Like, the... The right way to go is to… I give something and I take something, right. I give you energy, you give me energy. This is an exchange, right? So if you just give and give and give and give, you're not going to be truly happy... And why are we here all? To live a happy life. That's why we were brought to this world. That's how I see it. So you're right... When you say to somebody, you know, love yourself, what does it even mean? Would I go to the spa? No. Loving yourself is a deep concept, and I love talking about that. Loving yourself is to forgive the people that wrong you, let go of this what doesn't serve you, and focus on cherishing yourself, on, you know, being proud of yourself. Because if you don't do that, and if you just give and give and give… and listen, I am giver, and I always was a giver, I never learned how to receive. Now I know how to do it. But when you just give, give, give, you may feel happy for a while because you gave something. But then we are also human beings. We need to receive love. When you don't do that, I think you don't really feel happy inside.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. Yes. Okay... Now you're making me think of another person. And this is actually a family member, and this is a person that I love so much because they are among the most compassionate, giving people that I know. And what I realized over time with them is that underlying… and they're very resistant to receiving, by the way. Very resistant to receiving. And what I realized about them is that underlying their resistance to receive is actually a lack of confidence. Like, there's a fear that they're struggling with… that they're not lovable as they are... Like, if they're not giving, if they're not doing something for you, if they're not serving you in some way, then you're not going to love them. Because the idea… the limiting belief or the fear-based belief in the mind is that this other person loves me because I'm able to help them in this way, I'm able to serve them in this way, I'm able to give them this or give them that... And if I'm no longer able to help, if I'm no longer able to serve, then they're not going to want to be with me anymore, they'll have no use for me. And, you know, they're not going to be, to be with me anymore. And so they're so focused on giving, giving, giving, giving, because they want that love. They want to feel that connection. But it's like, it's coming from that place of fear, that place of not having confidence in yourself, not feeling, not feeling lovable and not loving yourself very deeply. And so you're, you know, afraid that other people don't love you or can't love you either.

ANNA: Giving and receiving, it's, it's something we all, I think, have to learn. It has to be like a balance in life. And the same is with money, right. Some people love to give, but they are closed to receive. Some people love receiving. They have lots of money, but they don't want to give back, right. So, and there is no energy balance. And what's happened one or the other way, you're not feeling rich.

SAMIA: Yeah.

ANNA: Right. So when you give, give, give, very often, one of the, one of the most common belief in, you know, entrepreneurs that I was working with was I am not good enough. I can't take love... I can't accept it because I'm not feeling worthy, right. So that's why with the work I do, we go deep into them, into the beliefs. We release with breathwork with mindset work... First, we release everything to make a space for other things so we can learn how to receive. We can learn how to, you know, love yourself more.

SAMIA: Yeah.

ANNA: Because it's exchange. Everything is exchange.

SAMIA: Yes. You're so right. You're so right. I mean, when... And it's like you… is just like with this person that I'm thinking about right now, that I was talking about a minute ago... Like, you can see now this person is older and you can see the burnout in them. You know, they're still trying, they're still trying to keep giving, giving, giving. But just can't, I mean, health is impacted. They just don't have the energy and ability anymore to do as much as they were able to do before because they didn't take good care of themselves, honestly, you know? And so... and you can see the fear coming up even more of, oh my gosh, now I'm not able to do as much, what's going to happen? And so now it's like, you know, also creating more anxiety, depression, etc. And so too, it's like, no, no, no, let's not go down that path…

ANNA: Some people needs to be needed, and that's okay. I think everybody likes to be needed. I like to be needed... But sometimes we forget that we are important for ourselves as much as we are important for others… especially let's look at moms... What do we do? We sacrifice our time, our sleep, even sometimes when we don't need to, we sacrifice everything for our kids. And very often we don't look after ourselves. Yes, we go to the spa. Yes, we take a bubble bath, but not necessarily take the steps to fill our cup from inside. And when you give, when you give, the cup is getting emptier and emptier and emptier... And you can't pull from the empty cup. That's why it's very important to take time for yourself. It's very important to take the time to… for self-care, to do what you love to do, to be you, to, I don't know, go for a walk, go meet with your friends, whatever makes you happy. But again, it's good to be giver. It's good to be giver... But it's also important… It is important to learn how to receive.

SAMIA: Yes, because thank you for bringing up the example of moms. Because, my gosh, you're so right. Moms, constantly giving, constantly giving, constantly giving. And like, if you think about it, moms, what do you want to teach your kids? Especially your own girls? What are you modeling for them? I mean, I know, like, my mom, I see this happen all the time where she will give up her… Like, for example this is the biggest, I thought, ironies of… Not ironies maybe it's not the right word… but, you know, the contrast in how she treats herself and how she wants me to behave is like… if she, for example, has a headache or something or whatever, like, she's not feeling very well… but because she's committed to being a great mom and taking care of her kids, you know, she would, like, push through, push through her pain, push through her whatever to make sure she's doing what she needs to do or thinks she needs to do to take care of us. But when I would get sick, like, if I had a headache or something, she'd be like, no, no, no, Samia, don't do anything. Just lie down, let me take care of you, and don't even think about doing anything until you're feeling better, you're all cured, you know? But what I see my mom doing is the opposite of that, what's more likely to happen in my case? Am I more likely to do what she does or do what she says? …you know…

ANNA: My kids were the most, my most inspiration to actually start my personal development journey, because I knew if I bring them up with the confidence I had, they're gonna be have the same confidence, they're gonna have the same issue, they gonna just follow my footsteps. So when I am changing… because I change every day, right, we, as we mentioned, we are growing… So when I change, I automatically see changes in them... Our moms, I think they were in different generation, they didn't have, you know, all these resources, what we have. And, you know, they were brought the way they were, so they were, you know, we still can teach them, show them and love them. But I think if you are aware of… you're aware, I need to change something… Everything starts with awareness. If you're aware, I need to change something. Otherwise, I don't know, my kids are going to be confident or I'm going to burn out, or I'm going to not achieve. I'm not going to achieve what I want… When you have this awareness, don't just stay there, just take actions. Because when you know something, you should… you want to change… without taking actions, nothing is gonna change with everything, with business, with everything, nothing is gonna change. So yeah…

SAMIA: Yeah. And you won't take the action if you don't have confidence, if you don't have unstoppable confidence…

ANNA: ...It's like one big circle, right? One big circle.

SAMIA: Right.

ANNA: Yes.

SAMIA: Exactly. Oh, my gosh, Anna, I am having so much fun talking to you. I just looked at the clock and I think we should probably…

ANNA: Oh, yeah, definitely…

SAMIA: ..wrapping up. Do you have any last thoughts to share?

ANNA: Not necessarily… The only thing is, don't wait... If you feel you want to do something, if you feel you want the change, and if you are, you know, building your business or you are dreaming about something… even if you don't believe right now, you can learn how to believe in yourself later. Just start taking small actions and don't give up.

SAMIA: Yeah,

ANNA: Don't give up… Business… change takes time. It takes commitment. Life is like that, right? Up and down, up and down. But after every rain, there is always rainbow. So never give up. Just find somebody who will guide you. Find somebody who will help you and just go for it. Because we have only one life and we have to live it the way we want to live.

SAMIA: Yes. Thank you for that, Anna. And for my last words. I'll just remind our audience, make sure you check the show notes, especially once this is published on my podcast. Make sure you check the show notes because I will drop Anna's links in there. I'll drop my links in there. So if you feel a sense of connection, a calling to learn more with us, to work with us, please check the show notes, check out those links, connect with us. And until we connect next time, I just wish you lots and lots of peace and joy... :)

ANNA: It was lovely to be here. Thank you so much. I'm wishing you and everybody who is watching us an amazing, amazing day and successful life.

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Samia Bano, Happiness Expert

Samia Bano is the #HappinessExpert, author, speaker, podcaster & coach for coaches and healers. Samia is most known for her book, 'Make Change Fun and Easy' and her #podcast of the same name. With the help of her signature Follow Your Heart Process™, a unique combination of #PositivePsychology and the spiritual wisdom of our most effective #ChangeMakers, Samia helps you overcome #LimitingBeliefs, your chains of fear, to develop a #PositiveMindset and create the impact and income you desire with fun and ease… Samia’s advanced signature programs include the Happiness 101 Class and the Transformative Action Training. Samia is also a Certified #ReikiHealer and Crisis Counselor working to promote #MentalHealthAwareness. Samia models #HeartCenteredLeadership and business that is both #SociallyResponsible and #EnvironmentallyFriendly. Samia is a practicing #Muslim with an inter-spiritual approach. As someone who has a love and appreciation for diversity, she is a #BridgeBuilder between people of different faiths and cultures. Although Samia currently lives in California, USA, she has lived in 3 other countries and speaks Hindi, Urdu, and English fluently.

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