How To Change Toxic Relationship Patterns.

How To Change Toxic Relationship Patterns.
Sara Brown-Birchmier & Samia Bano

#toxicrelationships holding you back from living #yourbestlife?

Listen now to this interview with Sara Brown-Birchmier, #Manifestation, Energy, Trauma Practitioner & #BestSellingAuthor, to learn how you can change #toxicrelationship patterns and align with the abundance you deserve, with love and compassion for yourself and others.

NOTE: We do a deep dive into the complexities of recognizing and #settingboundaries in relationships, especially when dealing with emotionally or mentally abusive dynamics. You will learn how to set firm yet #compassionateboundaries within relationships, without becoming confrontational. This conversation emphasizes maintaining self-respect and #innerstrength while facing emotional challenges in close connections.

Learn more and connect with Sara at:
https://linktr.ee/altarlifecoaching

To Book your Free HAPPINESS 101 EXPLORATION CALL with Samia, click: https://my.timetrade.com/book/JX9XJ

#difficultpeople #toxicrelationshiprecovery #difficultrelationships #traumahealingjourney #TraumaHealing #EnergyWork #ManifestYourLife #HealingJourney #RelationshipGoal #HealingJourneys #EmotionalBoundaries #ChooseCompassion #TraumaRecovery #HealthyRelationships #SpiritualAwakening #SelfEmpowerment #innertransformation #settingboundariesisselfcare

Here's the audio version of this episode:

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Full Video Transcript

SAMIA: Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, Mabuhay, and Dzień Dobry! It's so good to be with you again. And, you know, I know you'll be so glad you have joined us today because we have a wonderful guest with us. It's Sara Birchmier, who is a Manifestation, Energy and Trauma Practitioner and actually also a best-selling author. Welcome, Sarah... I'm so excited and happy to have you with us.

SARA: Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here…

SAMIA: Yes! And Sarah, please tell us more about who you are and what you do.

SARA: Well, I am a Trauma Practitioner. I help women heal from deep traumas in the body so that they can clear out those limited story that they've been believing for years, lifetimes, whatever the case, and really come to know the truth of who they are as spiritual beings so that they can manifest the desires that are deep-seated in their heart.

SAMIA: Oh, I love that. I love that... Yes… Oh, gosh. You know, trauma in our lives… I mean, we all experience it, whether it's little traumas or big trauma or traumas... Oh, gosh. But we have all experienced trauma in our lives. And I think a lot of times people don't even realize that what they've experienced has impacted them like a trauma. And a lot of us also have never had any kind of education or systematic learning about how to help ourselves heal from trauma… or even... Yeah, I mean, we can't recognize that when we are feeling or experiencing trauma ourselves. We can't always recognize it when we are seeing it in other people, and we don't know how to help ourselves or other people out of it. So, it's a, my gosh, it can really be challenging in that way. What's… I mean, oh, my gosh... What… like, what would you say are some of the key clues that someone can look out for to help them recognize trauma?

SARA: My very first reaction is… being alive, right? Because we are spiritual beings and so we experience trauma by even coming into this dimension. But to further answer your question… a dysregulated central nervous system, having anxiety, unhealthy habits, toxic cycles in our relationships, people pleasing, not being able to stand up for ourselves, low self-esteem, fear of opening our heart in relationships, speaking our voice, connecting with spirit… all of those are signs of trauma. And trauma is not... And I love sharing this message... Trauma is not ever what happens to us. It is what happens within us on an emotional level… because the same trauma, a car wreck or you know, God forbid, horrible sexual encounter… I'm trying not to use trigger words here... could, you know, affect two different people differently. And a huge trauma like that is a big deal. But then so are the little ones. Like being a small child at the grocery store and in a moment of excitement, our mom asking us, or, you know, us asking for our mom for something and getting a reaction from her because she's under stress about financial, right. It's the decision within us that we create that depicts the trauma. And on a subconscious level, we decide these things, these commands, and they out picture in our life... Fear of driving, fear of relationships, money is hard to get. I'm unworthy of money. I can't speak my voice and say what I desire or else I upset other people... And these are just programs that we create on a subconscious level. And that's why doing energy work, doing trauma work, clears out those limiting subconscious commands and brings forth the truth of abundance, of our worthiness, of our ability to be safe.

SAMIA: Yes, I'm so on board with you on that. I love that possibility exists and not just possibility, but, you know, it's like that is the reality of life. And I just love that that's like that. You know, there's so many different things that we could talk about in the context of manifestation, energy, trauma, etcetera... But, you know, one of my favorite, favorite things to talk about these days in these contexts is to look at… especially when we're thinking about trauma, thinking about it in the context of relationships, and like toxic relationships and how, you know... Well, I mean, really, I mean again, toxic relationships are one of those things that so many of us are struggling with. And a lot of times it's laced with trauma experiences. And when we try to deal with them, you know, of course, you know, it impacts our ability… trauma impacts our ability and how we deal with, deal with it or not. So, I mean, I would love to dig a little bit deeper because I know that's an area of specialization for you.
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SARA: It's a great topic to move in because with, you know, me being a manifestation coach, yes, there are so many people around the world that are manifesting money, manifesting wealth. The core thing that we have to understand is that all of life is a relationship, right. And this is how I got started on my journey of manifesting wealth and abundance, and all those things… I learned along the way that it was never money that I was manifesting. It was love, it was relationship. And everything that people are out there manifesting, it all comes down to the relationship with it, even if it's a healthy body. We have to learn how to have healthy relationships and begin to feel safe in them before we can even manifest anything else.

SAMIA: That is so true. Oh, my gosh, just the fact that we need to feel safe in our relationship with something in order to, like, truly manifest and continue to have it in our lives… You know, I mean, so much of my experience has also been about, you know, things come to me, all kinds of amazing gifts and blessings, but because I'm not feeling safe in my relationship with them, I cannot trust… there isn't enough trust in the relationship, those things go away also... So.

SARA: That 's very true.

SAMIA: And I mean that… Yeah, yeah, sorry, I cut you off.

SARA: No, I was just listening. I was just listening... I did want to just move into sharing... Well, I come to understand for myself because I grew up in an extremely… just polar home. Like, my dad loved me so much and so well and we had a great trauma bond, right. But he was also an avoidant in his… in himself. And I don't mean, I'm not putting titles on anything, this is just the best terminology that I can use based on what society has created. But he was very abusive. He was narcissist. He would be super loving one day and then extremely abusive the next day. But I held on to the love over the toxicity and I knew that, you know, he would come back around saying, I'm sorry, and buying me gifts and filling me with the love that I thought my heart was worthy of. And I grew into not only becoming that myself, but attracting relationships that were just like it. And so my experience of, you know, healing from toxic relationships, narcissistic abuse, all of that… I had to come into the understanding of knowing that the reality is, is that all of life is a mirror to us. And once I stopped projecting… I'm attracting toxic relationships because everything is energy and we attract… the universal law of attraction is we attract to us a vibrational match of what we vibrate at within our core. And a lot of that is due to trauma. And so when we have unresolved trauma, we vibrate at these lower frequencies... depression, fear, anxiety… and we're like a magnet... We're going to attract people to us, vibrate at that same frequency. And once I started looking at my relationships as a mirror, and instead of saying, you're your narcissist, I started saying, where am I the narcissist? I… you know, even if the bottom line was I was narcissistically abusing myself by still choosing to engage in this relationship, I took the blame off of other people, and I started looking inward... I started looking at my frequency… Where am I being avoidant? Where am I being anxious? Where am I not trusting in myself to be either worthy of better… researching on social media how to be better in this relationship, or, you know, and believe for relationships that were actually fulfilling and that we're going to excel me and caused me to thrive… rejection and abandonment was a core thing that I dealt with.

SAMIA: Yes... Wow. I mean, you just shared so much over there. Thank you so much, first of all, for sharing something of your own experiences. And, wow, I mean, to have grown up in that kind of very polarized kind of context, in your relationship with your dad, especially, and then to come to realize… to have this realization of, you know, that your relationships are a mirror…. Wow… You know, I mean, you know, when, when you talk about our relationships are a mirror and we attract really people in our lives that are vibrational match, I actually agree with you on that. I'm 100% on board. I'm just wondering if you could maybe… there's just one sort of, not even clarification, that's coming to my mind to share, but just this idea that, you know, we, like, even if we have narcissistic tendencies or abusive tendencies, not everyone will manifest.. not manifest... Like, and when you look, when you see different people, how they act, how they behave, these tendencies can emerge in personalities that appear very different from each other. You know, I mean, so one person can be very angry, screaming, shouting… And I think people recognize that kind of behavior and personality as, oh, abuse, narcissism, etcetera, much more easily than someone who does it in a more quiet kind of way… And, yeah, that just looks very different. And so I think that's also part of, like, if you're going to come to the realization about, oh, like, the mirror aspect of things, I can, I guess that can be a little bit tricky…

SARA: Okay, so mirror… I don't necessarily mean direct reflection, right. So if you have someone who's gentle with their words and they're being screamed and yelled at and all these things… but rather a mirror to ourselves of our ability to either love well or be loved well. And so one of the greatest revelations I have… because they say that narcissists can never self-reflect. So I would not say that I was narcissist, right. Because I would not have been able to have this spiritual awakening and recover my life to the depth that I have. But I was definitely very emotionally abusive and avoidant… and… at one time… And when I began doing my personal work and I have, right… Like, I still do life with my dad. I still do life with people who are, quote unquote narcissists. When I started viewing them as myself and saying… stopped pointing the finger and putting names and titles on them and viewed them as hurt people… just hurt people who have a need that they are not able to express… and bypassing myself and how I was feeling, right, removing the need to make them wrong… or the need to feel rejected… and just look at them as, like, how can I love them, right… My relationship dynamics with all of these people and within myself changed drastically.

SAMIA: Yes.

SARA: I learned to take the time and allow consciousness, God, spirit, whatever you choose to call ‘em, to say, what is this person trying to communicate with me that they need right now?

SAMIA: Yes. You know, this says, I must say, been, wow. Okay. So when you are interacting with somebody and their behavior is difficult to deal with… But, you know, the very fact that we are using this language, whether it's in our thinking or in our expression to them, that, "Oh, your behavior is abusive, or your behavior is difficult, or your behavior is narcissist", I mean, right there, there's a judgment. And the moment we have this judgment… like, I know for me, I've gotten a lot, lot better at this now, but I can still struggle with it… the moment I have this judgment, it just takes me into a different place and a different, like, feeling. And, you know, my defense mechanisms want to shoot right up because immediately, then I'm, like, going into self-protection mode, and down the drain goes compassion, down the drain goes empathy, and then, you know, it's just like, oh, no, now I'm in defense mode, you know. And so for me, a lot of times, that means I need to be like, I don't want to deal with you anymore. I'm not going to deal with you anymore and walk away. And/or you know, I mean, because I'm not... I used to be really into, like, fighting, but not anymore. I don't... don't want to. So now I just walk away. But, you know, but, yeah, the way that I've gotten better, as I was referring to, is that there are times and there are people when I'm able to not get into that judgmental mindset and instead focus, like you were saying, Sara, on the fact that I'm dealing with a hurt person who's trying to express some need underlying their behavior… and to be able to figure out what that need is, and focus on meeting that need, being like, okay, how can we meet this need? Is there anything I can do in this moment to help meet this need? And when I can do that, and you are absolutely right... I mean, it's a such a different experience. It's such a different feeling. I mean, and it absolutely changes the relationship as well. But, and like I said, it's still like, for me, it can... It can be challenging to allow that to happen. And so it's like... And for a lot of people, I know that they may not be able... I mean, they may struggle with it even more than I'm struggling with it. So how do you even, like... I mean, wow… If you're still someone… If I'm still someone who's struggling with this ability to let go of their judgment and just focus on this person's hurt and they're trying to express a need and, you know, just stay with that focus, how do I even begin to let go of my judgment and shift my focus?

SARA: It would come back to us understanding the truth of who we are as just love, right. Like, I am spirit, love, having a human experience. So my purpose is to understand as well as being understood. I'm not saying tolerate any type of abuse, right. But we can even lovingly put up boundaries towards that gently and say, I need to take a step back, right. But when it comes to non judgment, when being encountered with someone who's being defiant, I guess, is a good word for it… it is changing the vibration and the intention within yourself, right. It may not happen immediately, but saying, okay, I choose to learn how to love and do relationship with this person. So I'm going to choose to pretty much go into their subconscious mind as a child and understand that they are still reacting to a core wound that they had as a child. A great topic that I love talking about is what they call an avoidant... Fearful-avoidant and dismissive-avoidant. These are the people that are so quick to be like, come here, I love you. And then the second that they feel emotionally afraid, they're like, FU,  get away from me… They're the ones breaking things, they're the ones who will just block you out of nowhere and just cut you down with their words. And it's a matter of moving into nonjudgment slowly over time… making the decision, is this someone I am supposed to have a relationship, first of all, with? That's the first question... And if they are then being intentional about not judging them, right. But, and I don't want to say judging yourself, but that projection of judgment that we feel that we should have, taking it inwardly and putting it towards ourself… over time will cause an energetic shift to where we can say, you know what? I want to create a safe place for myself and this person to have emotional freedom. And when we do it within the subconscious mind, like, within our heart, that shifts things all in its own, in itself. So to answer your question, to move into non-judgment, we have to go inwardly, learn how to not judge ourselves first and set a strong, powerful intention… Hey, I want to figure this out.

SAMIA: Yes, yes. And also, what you said about, do we even want to be in that relationship? Is this a relationship that we want to have? Need to have in our lives? Yes... You just made me think about… not to name names, but, you know, I have, like, some relationships in my life that, I mean, literally, like, I'm a survivor of child sexual abuse. And the person that sexually abused me, I just… I was like, I don't need this person, and I don't want this person in my life. And so he's out. He's out, and that's that. But there's, like, other people in my life where these... I mean, the nature of… I mean, again, it's like putting labels, and the labels themselves are problematic, but for the sake of communication, if I use a label so people can understand the problem or the sense of problem that I struggle with… you know, the nature of abuse is, like, mental-emotional. And the thing about this mental-emotional abuse is that it is… like, so, like, when you look at it in the context of people's everyday experiences, not just my own, you see that this kind of behavior is just so normal. By which I mean, not that it's okay, not that it's healthy, no… but it's so common. It's so common... People are experiencing it in their homes, in their workplaces, between friends. And I'm one of the very few people in my circle of family and friends who is even identifying that this behavior is abusive. Because I've had a certain education, you know, where I went, and I studied about abuse and trauma and this and that. And so I'm one of the few people who's even identifying that, hey, this fits in the category of behavior that is abusive. And like I was sharing earlier, the moment I judge behavior to be abusive, it brings up all these… and especially in a close relationship, you know, that supposed to be friend or family member... And I don't want to break off every single one of these relationships. And so there are some of them that I'm like, no, I value this relationship. I want to continue with this relationship, and we're having this challenge in this relationship. But, you know, these are very... I've selected a very few relationships of this kind that I'm willing to work on. I mean, for a lot of, like, when I experience… a lot of times, I'm just like, no, I just, like, if this relationship's not foundational, if it's not particularly necessary in my life, I'm just gonna not deal with this.

SARA: Really, really, really good question... Just gonna tune in. Okay. So in my experience of dealing with... when I took those judgments of them away and I started engaging them as emotionally immature versus emotionally mature, right... And I could ask myself, why am I taking this so personally? Why am I being triggered? Right? And when I went internally and I made the decision to not allow this person's behavior to be identified to me as abusive.. because then that takes me from being the victim… I'm no longer the victim. Now, I just want to be clear. There's a borderline here, right? There are abusive relationships that we need to cut out... And I am not saying anyone ever tolerates, you know, abusive relationship. But when it's, you know, low grade or whatever you want to call and we do that, that decision within to shift, I'm telling you, the energy of that relationship will shift. And something that bit me so hard... I'm a Transformational Coach, okay? And so I've had a lot of deep training around relationships. I was in a traumatic divorce. I've gone through parent alienation and all kinds of things with my kid's father. And one of the hardest things that I had to accept and admit, right, like, I didn't deserve that. I had done my time. I'm in recovery... I had gotten sober, like, five years into my recovery. I shouldn't still be being alienated and emotionally abused and victimized by my kid's father. But at the same time, I had to look inwardly and look at my ego and say, Sara, where are you still holding judgment? Where are you still having this frequency within myself? And so my coach taught me that we have what's called listening ears, right. And they're the ears that other people listen to us through. And I had to say, what are his listening ears? What does he think about me within his ears whenever I go to speak? Where have I been myself abusive? Where have I been not fully shown up in this relationship? And also be courageous enough to have a conversation with that person and be like, this is what I've made you out to be. And this is a hard one, especially in deep abusive relationships. But after, you know, the air clears and even if it hasn't, just… it's all about a heart-to-heart connection and being really raw and really vulnerable. Saying, you know what? I make you out to be emotionally abusive. And when we tell that person this stuff, it opens the door for them to be like, well, I make you out to be unreceptive of my feelings or difficult to communicate with, right. Like, there is a mirror-mirror going on all the time. And when we just choose love, no matter what that looks like, it shifts relationships to the core.

SAMIA: Yeah. You know, okay… You know, when you... You know what this just brought up for me? So this is going back to the time when I was training as a crisis counselor to work on a domestic violence and sexual assault hotline. And I actually was on the hotline working as a crisis counselor for four years. And one of the things that they trained us on was this... Well, you know, so they were like, we do not recommend couples counseling for people who are in abusive relationship. I mean, and we are now talking about domestic violence context more specifically, because, you know, that's what the focus was in the context of, you know, it was a crisis line for domestic violence. And so they said, we don't recommend couples counseling for… mostly we were dealing with women coming to us as clients... And so… because they said, you know, it's in the nature of, you know, abusive relationships where you're stuck in a cycle of violence, that the person who's engaging in the abusive behavior, they're on… and they have an agenda to exercise power and control over you. And unless they are willing to let go of that agenda, counseling cannot help. Because in order for you to go into therapy and have counseling as a couple, you know, you have to be willing to change. You have to be willing to do things for each other that are different from how you're doing things now. And you absolutely cannot have the agenda of trying to control the other person. And so when one person has that agenda, counseling, therapy, couples counseling cannot work. And in fact, in many situations, it's been found that when, for example, in cases, for one reason or other, the couple is forced to go that route to meet various requirements, for example, when cases go to court or something, actually, you know, the abusive partner can actually pretend to go through the motion, but then when they get back home, they take out their anger and frustration even more on the partner, the other partner. And so they were like, we just don't recommend this. And I took that lesson from the training, and I think I may have over generalized the lesson in terms of how I started to live my life where I was like, you know… like, when I started noticing people in my life who had, in my opinion, or judgment, abusive tendencies or abusive behaviors, like, a lot of times I'd be like, this person's trying to control me and they're on the... They have this agenda to control me. So talking to them is useless... So when you just shared about, you know, like, talk to them, you know, I was like realizing, oh, maybe that's… I mean, I've tried to walk on and think differently about this, but that may be part of still what I'm carrying that makes it difficult for me to talk to people that I judge as having abusive behavior.

SARA: And I do want to be clear, like, I am talking, you know, I'm not talking about abuse, I'm not talking about severe name calling. I'm not talking about physical abuse. I'm not talking about, you know, slamming doors and throwing things. Like, that is a hard no. Unless, you know… So there's like the outer court relationships and the inner court relationships, right. And we have to learn to the difference of how to behave and respond to the ones who are closest to us… family members, do you know what I'm saying? And then the outer court relationships, our employers, the ones who work at our job, people we see just on the weekends, and different things like that. But when we have a decision from… no, it's not... It is still easy to change the dynamic of a relationship that has been hard, and been this way for a long time, and it's even easier in new relationships from the beginning… just without any... Without being like, you're not going to control me, just not being controllable… When you stand back and you are not controllable and you gently and lovingly put up your boundaries… Like, one of the things that I love teaching about is the energy between a feminine and a masculine in a romantic relationship. So I teach my clients to put up feminine boundaries towards the masculine that are not projecting her to be an unsafe woman. So for an example, I have a client whose husband was speaking to her in a way that she didn't like, right. And I... Instead of being like, you're not going to talk to me like that, right, and standing up for herself in that way with her voice, very boldly and powerfully, I suggested her instead of putting up that boundary towards him, she put up that boundary to herself, silently. I'm not going to allow him to speak to me this way. And said very lovingly and gently, hey, I'm going to so and so's house for the weekend, or I need some space or, right... So the boundary that we're putting up isn't towards other people, as if I have to put this up to keep you away. It's within... I am putting this boundary up within myself so that I am in my power, so that I am safe and so that I can hold true to who I am. And when we do that without outwardly projection, that will also shift the dynamic of the relationship.

SAMIA: Yes. Ah... I really love what you were just sharing. Yes. So the one thing... It's one thing to put up a boundary, but also, like, how are you putting up the boundary? What kind of boundaries are you putting up? That is such an important consideration? And, you know, what you just said about, I'm not going to be controllable... Wow... That just made a lot of, lot of sense, and just made me think about actually, some of my heroes who, like, in terms of, like, people who live nonviolence in their lives. And, you know, for me, the people who live nonviolence, you know, they are... I mean, a lot of people don't like the word nonviolence. It's like, compassion is the other side of the coin, right. They have, like, such amazing levels of compassion that they live with. And so many, you know, stories that I know about, for example, you know, like Jesus, Prophet Muhammad, you know, I mean, among currently living people, like Dalai Lama, you know, who live with such amazing compassion... And I bet that's a lot of what's happening with them is that, you know, like, people hurl abusive behavior towards them or act in abusive ways towards them, but they don't receive it as such… because they're like, I'm not controllable. You can try to control me, but you don't... That's not… whether I get controlled or not, that's my choice.

SARA: Yes.

SAMIA: You know…

SARA: Now we're getting into a conversation that I love, which is more along the spiritual awakening. When we are able to embody the Christ consciousness, embody the Muhammad consciousness,  embody, you know, Buddha consciousness, whatever you want to call it… we begin to learn that our life is predestined and everything is happening for a reason, on time, so that we can, one and only goal, embody that love. And when we become safe to know… like, Jesus knew his mission, right. If he didn't have connection with God, he would have... what? Ran away, hid somewhere… Like, he wouldn't have made it all the way to the cross, but he knew he was enduring that for a purpose, right. When we're that in tune with ourselves, then… which… that's a totally different… like, because he was severely abused, right… But it's an inner knowing of our worthiness and our ability to know… which… it's all… that story is metaphysical. It's a story of us, right. It's a biography of us. And so it's a demonstration of what we are like when we encounter these persecutions or these, you know... And the moral of this story is when we choose compassion and we choose forgiveness, it awakens the resurrected life force energy of us, and we become even invincible, eternal beings who, you know, leave our legacy and all of the things. And so it's… the core thing to know is, I am love... I am a spiritual being having a human experience, and that is all that I am. And when we hold that in our consciousness, we get to show up different in our relationships. We get to say no to different things. We get to love from a place of knowing who we are.

SAMIA: Yeah. Yes, yes... So how do we cultivate more of this knowing of our truth, our spiritual truth and reality of, you know, being spiritual beings having a human experience, being here to learn love, to love and be loved, and to really to, you know, become better and better at it…

SARA: ..by doing our trauma work. By doing our shadow work. We have to clear out the soul. We have to clear out the energy… emotions are energy... Everything is energy. So emotions are energy. And our body stores those emotions from past experiences. And I'm someone who teaches about not past lives in the sense of, I don't get into the whole, did we really have a past life thing? I'm talking about lineage, right. On an epigenetics level, we are still connected and carrying the emotions of our ancestors. And when we take the conscious decision, I'm going to do my trauma work, I'm going to clear out my soul, to clear out all the lineage trauma, and to become a vibrational container of the frequency of love, that is how... That is the only way.

SAMIA: Yes. And, you know, oh, gosh... And in this context, like, the energy work can be so helpful, make things so much more fun and easy. Like, oh, my gosh, you know, I... Before I got introduced to energy work, I had spent many years actually trying to train my brain and rewire my mind to think differently and thereby feel differently. And it is just, you know, slow work. It feels like a lot of hard work sometimes… but beyond that, you know, it's just, it cannot go deep enough. It cannot... Because when you are... I mean, obviously our heart, mind, soul, everything's at one level interconnected and interdependent. But I mean, at least in the context of, like, for example, modern theories of cognitive behavior therapy, etcetera, they just don't even recognize, you know, the spiritual side of us and all of that. And so even the solutions that they do come up with in terms of how you can retrain your brain, etcetera, it all just stays pretty surface level. And so it wasn't until I got exposed to energy work and energy healing that I started to be able to, you know, hit those deeper aspects of myself and begin to feel those becoming more awakened. And then I was like, ah, I'm feeling these… I'm having these experiences of healing that I cannot even explain through my, through my mind…

SARA: Energy work is phenomenal, and it does so much in our life. However, and I just want to add this... We have this subconscious mind or the soul, which is 97% of our operating system, and it's like an iceberg, right. We have this huge hidden belief system underneath the surface, and only 3% is in control of our reality. And when we do the deeper subconscious reprogramming work and we change that story that is being held under the surface… So many things... So many things... I used to be in abusive relationships, on food stamps, low income, just… the housing, like… And when I found out about this work, I made a decision. I realized, oh, my gosh, my subconscious program is poverty and lack, and I'm unworthy of love. I'm a drug addict, whatever the thing... But I then have in four years now, right, like, I have created a six-figure business... I am in healthy relationships that thrive and light me up. I am not on any low-income resources. I'm not making them wrong. Just want to be clear, right. I am powerfully knowing who I am and living my soul's purpose and calling. And it's all because of energy work and doing that deeper trauma work. And that's why I built the “Heart Revival”, which is a twelve-week trauma recovery program to help women heal from their limited story.

SAMIA: I love it. I love it. Ah, yes, yes... Is there anything more you want to share about this program or anything else? I feel like, you know, we could keep talking for a long, long time. And I mean, maybe if there's something more you want to share about this wonderful program that you have, and then you can wrap up for today.

SARA: It is for women on the spiritual awakening journey who want to revive their heart. I have three levels. One is just the Spiritual Savage, twelve-week inner healing and trauma recovery. And then the second level is done with you business launching and growing your own spiritual offer for… because in the first level, twelve weeks, we awaken and birth our soul’s purpose. And then I, for the second level, I help women really birth their sacred offer and create their sacred offer. And I teach them how to do organic marketing and energetic marketing and all of that. And then the third level is actually a practitioner program where I teach and train how to do the Heart Revival framework and train them to be Trauma Coaches. And so…

SAMIA: Oh, that's so wonderful. I love it... You know, that's how I got into doing the work that I do as a Happiness Expert. I actually connected with my very first Happiness Expert/Mentor/Coach, and she had a twelve-week program. She calls it the Happiness Makeover... And it's like, first you have to go through it as a student, for yourself, you know? And once you go through that program, then you have the opportunity to learn from her how you may want to create your own work along those lines. And then, you know, also train… I actually ended up, at that time, she didn't have a specific program to teach you the business side of things, but I ended up interning with her so that I could learn from her… when I felt ready, like I had... Okay, here I wanted what, I talked here about what I wanted to teach and had a sense of, okay, this is what I want to offer to the world and so forth… then I stepped into the internship with her so I could learn more of the business side of how she set up her practice and managed it and all of that good stuff. So these kind of programs can be so life-changing, and it's a wonderful pathway to follow. And sometimes, you know, you, you enter into the first level of the program, not even any thought to go to the next level or the next level. But, you know, it's just… know that for a lot of, like, it happens a lot more often than you might imagine, that once you go through the first level, it's like then you find yourself in such a different place that it makes sense to then be like, oh, yes, second level, and yes, third level... Let's go... Let's do it.

SARA: Yes. And that's exactly how it was for me... I started, I just had, I was desperate need of healing my life. I come across Louise Hay's book, “How To Heal Your Life”. And I knew that this reality was possible. And then I just started manifesting, you know, the different coaches into my life to follow. And one of them had a healing program, and then in that, I was like, I think I'm supposed to do this work, right. And then the next level was building my business, and then the next level was being trained as a Trauma Practitioner. And so here I am, and I have created, you know, my own framework and offer to help other women who are on this same journey.

SAMIA: Oh, I love it. I love it. Yes... Oh, gosh, that's so wonderful, Sara. Oh, gosh... Okay, so I will, I will force myself to stop talking just in context of, you know, this interview right now. And for my last reminder, I will send our audience… remind our audience to please make sure you check the show notes because I will be dropping Sara's links in there so you can connect with her... continue to learn with her and get the help and support you need whenever you're ready for it. And until we connect next time, I wish you lots and lots of peace and joy. :)