Blog: Make Change Fun And Easy
How To Train Your Mind To Make Better Choices.
With Ravinder Taylor & Samia Bano
Something holding you back from living your best life? Achieving your best health?
Could you be the victim of #selfsabotage, from failed diets to missed promotions?
Listen now to this interview with Ravinder Taylor, #Author of “Mind Training”, and dive into a compelling discussion about how our #subconsciousmind uses outdated programming to “protect” us, and how this often appears as self-sabotage in our everyday lives. But with the right understanding of how your mind works, and the right tools to #trainyourmind, you can #makebetterchoices to #TransformYourHealth, behavior, and success -- with #funandease!
About Ravinder Taylor:
Ravinder Taylor is not just a seasoned #mindscience researcher—she’s a captivating storyteller with a deeply inspiring journey. From triumphing over racial bigotry in the UK to #healing herself from Rheumatoid Arthritis, Ravinder’s life has been a testament to the extraordinary power of the mind. She transitioned from a biology lab to a 30-year career in #hypnotherapy, #psychotherapy, and researching mental empowerment, culminating in Mind Training.
As a dynamic speaker with extensive media experience, Ravinder makes complex #neuroscience approachable and practical, sharing tools anyone can use to #breakfree from self-limiting behaviors and live a life of greater happiness, health, and fulfillment.
Learn more and connect with Ravinder now at: https://ravindertaylor.com/
To Book your Free HAPPINESS 101 EXPLORATION CALL with Samia, click: https://my.timetrade.com/book/JX9XJ
#makebetterdecisions #selfsabotageawareness #subconsciousmindreprogramming #subconciousmindpower #MindBodyConnection #SubconsciousHealing #HypnotherapyWorks #MentalHealthAwareness #TraumaHealing #SelfEmpowerment #BreakTheStigma #MindsetMatters #HealingJourney #InnerWork #PersonalDevelopment #TraumaRecovery
Here's the audio version of this episode:
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FULL VIDEO TRANSCRIPT
SAMIA: Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, Privet, Mabuhay, Dzień Dobry... It's so good to be with you again. And I know you'll be so happy you've joined us today because we have a very cool guest with us. It's Ravinder Taylor, who is the president of Progressive Awareness Research and author of Mind Training. Welcome Ravinder…
RAVINDER: Thanks Samia... Thank you so much for having me on. It's an honor to be here with you. I look forward to having a great conversation.
SAMIA: Yes, me too. And Ravinder, please tell us more about who you are and what you do…
RAVINDER: What I am and what I do... You know, the fact is the two are very, very closely related. People often say that, you know, you aren't the job that you do, that's not the person. But for me, work hasn't been work... It's been my passion for over 35 years now. I think I always had an interest in the power of the mind or, you know, trying to discover why we do what we do. But my education was in microbiology, so I was very science-based. I was working in a path lab when I attended a special lecture, a special presentation that was given at the hospital on hypnotherapy and psychotherapy. And at that point in time, I didn't think much about hypnosis. For me, it was something people did for entertainment. Get people on the stage, make them look stupid. I didn't take it seriously. But because this lecture was being held, you know, being offered by the hospital and being offered to the doctors and nurses, that gave it a quasi-endorsement. So I attended the lecture. Coincidentally, there were about 70 people who worked in my lab. And most people attended this presentation. And it was in a large auditorium. So my colleagues were spread out throughout this big room. Coincidentally, the subjects that were called up, you know, to demonstrate different techniques on all came from my own lab. So I knew there and then that these weren't shills. These were friends and colleagues of mine. And I got to see one friend, forget the number six. She was asked to count, you know, from one to 10, and she skipped over the six like she had been instructed to do. She didn't have a clue. I saw another friend have a pin stuck in his arm. And he didn't react at all because he had been told he wouldn't feel any pain. So I knew then that the process was real. But what really fascinated me, Samia, was one particular story… and that was of a woman who came to see this hypnotherapist, and she'd had a pain in her arm. She'd had a pain in her arm for about a decade, I believe. She had seen all the doctors, all the specialists, had all the tests. They couldn't figure out what the problem was. Under hypnosis… The idea is that the subconscious mind always remembers all the experiences. So under hypnosis, the therapist took her back to the time that started this particular issue. You know, you have the assumption that the subconscious knows the answer. And she remembered a traumatic emotional event. I don't know exactly what it was, but it was something that had upset her at the time. She hadn't really forgotten it, but she had dismissed it. She just, you know, packed it away. The day after her hypnotherapy session, she called the hypnotist and said the pain had gone. The pain had actually gone immediately, but she hadn't believed it. Now I found this really fascinating. The fact that there can be events in our past that cause us issues today, they have lasting effects. The fact that we can have forgotten or even thought that we had dealt with an issue, but it can still come up. So the basis… this, I think of the work of progressive awareness is when you look at all of these things that we try to succeed at, where we fail at, we take it from the avenue of these are self-sabotaging strategies that the subconscious mind brings up that's designed to protect us, but it's relying on old information. But I just, I found all of that fascinating and I have spent the last 35 years researching more about how we intake information, what causes these different behaviors. But more importantly, it's not just an interest in science, it's an interest in the practical applications. How can we use this information to improve our lives today…
SAMIA: Yes. Ah, thank you so much for sharing that. You know, it is, I mean like for me that is the most important thing, that aspect of the practical application that has been sort of my guiding value. Also, in terms of all the education that I've pursued, I mean I'm one of those people who just loves learning. I'm a bit of a nerd. You can give me like almost any subject and I'll find it interesting to learn about. When I was in college I was like, oh my God, there's no way I can choose a major. Because there's just interesting… you know, so many interesting things to learn and... But you know, what ultimately did by …what I chose and what I emphasized over the course of my learning was that I was having serious issues with my mental health and physical health. But at that time I was, you know, basically just consumed with my own sense of suffering, and you know, like the trauma that had surfaced for me, and you know, like, trying to figure out how I could help myself. And so I actually did sort of become a psychology major and kind of went in that direction, at least in terms of my formal education. But at the same time, you know, I started to, I guess, attract into my life learning in other disciplines as well, you know, so things like hypnotherapy, NLP, neuro linguistic programming, and all of the like, energy healing and all of these other modalities that you don't normally get to learn about in the typical academic setting. At least not, I mean, unless you make some kind of effort to go beyond the norms. And you know, like for you, you had to, you know, go in and listen to some research being presented and it was probably an optional thing, you know. And so it's not… it's like it takes some effort to take yourself or allow yourself or be curious enough to go down these less beaten paths, as it were. But I have, I must say, like, some of the most helpful insights that I've received in terms of how to help myself with my own healing journey, but also tools that I've learned that I'm now able to use to help my clients… a lot of them have come from some of these more non-traditional pathways, including, you know, like hypnotherapy. I think the thing that really fascinated me initially about hypnotherapy, you know, like it does, you know, it does, like you were saying, it does make you aware of like the power of the mind in ways that you're like, oh my gosh, if I could harness that power, I could change my life, you know, in ways that are better, like, to be able to... For example, you know, that example of, oh, that man had the pin poked into him and he didn't respond because he had been hypnotized to think and believe that he wouldn't feel the pain. And I mean the… it's not just like, oh, this is a very interesting trick. It's the fact that our minds have this power, and the vast majority of us, we have no idea how to activate it, how to use it, you know, and that's such a shame.
RAVINDER: It is indeed. The fact is the mind does have the ability to heal us, it has the ability to hurt us, it has the ability to bring success in our life. It has the ability to stop us from seeing those possibilities. The mind is incredibly powerful… you were talking about, you know, your interest began with health conditions of your own. The mind is incredible in that area. The fact is, I think most people think we are just the way we are. This is how God made us, or the universe made us. However you want, you want to call it. This is how we're made. And this is our experiences. And we can't do anything to change that. But there's a great deal that we can change. It starts, though, with learning how your mind works. I think one of the best examples of the power of the mind or the example that's the easiest for people to understand can be seen in the placebo effect. You know, if you're…
SAMIA: Yeah.
RAVINDER: ...if you're given a pill by the doctor, it can have positive results even though it doesn't contain anything. If you have a capsule that's stronger than taking a pill, injection is stronger than having the capsule surgery is stronger still. But even in the area of placebo, when I started looking at that in greater depth and I came across some really intriguing facts. So the placebo response for hypertensive drugs is low in Germany. Okay. But if you look at the placebo response for gastric ulcers, it is low in Venezuela, higher in Europe, and highest in Germany. So not only do we have the power of the mind to influence the body, it's how is this mind being programmed. What is there in the enculturation of the German people that will make them respond better to the placebo response for gastric ulcers, but not for hypertensive drugs, it gives you a whole new awareness of all the places that you want to look at. And you can look out at the world or you can start looking within you. You can take the information that we have and say, okay, well, I can't change the world, I can't change my society, but I can change my thoughts about it. So first, then you have to start examining exactly what your thoughts are.
SAMIA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, the... Again, the idea of the subconscious mind. You know, you said that there is an assumption that number one, remembers things that we don't consciously remember, but then that there's also a knowing that it has, that you don't have conscious awareness oftentimes of, okay, here's the problem, and here's what I can do to release it. And it's like somebody was talking to me about, you know, how... You know, our body, our entire body is in fact our subconscious mind. A lot of times when the, you know, like the other example that you were giving of the lady who had the chronic pain, you know, that was like her, like that was a, you know, like her body as in the context of being our subconscious mind holding on to something that she hadn't processed and healed deeply enough. And so it held on to it until she was ready and able to release it. And even in the context of releasing it, it's not like she did a lot of conscious work and effort to release it. It was like also a subconscious thing that happened at the level of the subconscious. So that I find so fascinating because like, when we think about, you know, making change fun and easy, when you think about, if you're struggling with health issues or other challenges in our life, whether it's in terms of our relationships or achieving success at work, etc. A lot of times, you know, we're like struggling to create positive change, and we're not really understanding what may be at the root of our struggle. And so we are like chasing all these supposed to be solutions that are not really addressing the root causes.
RAVINDER: That's it exactly, you know. It's Jan... Well, it's February now, time's flying. But in January, everyone makes their New Year's resolutions. The vast majority of people fail at them and then say, oh, we'll try again next year. They don't stop and think of why they possibly failed. I think a really, what I find a really good example of self-sabotage can be seen. There's a TV show that my husband enjoys watching. It's a survival show. And they take these people and frequently they'll take a man and a woman. They put them down in some really inhospitable environment in the desert, in the jungle, in the swamplands. They are stalkers. They're not wearing anything. They carry just a few items with them, and they have to survive. It's a really interesting show. You learn a great deal about survival in the process. But one of the things that I found really interesting was there have been times when you'll have this big butch guy that, that comes in, obviously a bodybuilder. All the muscles, all the, you know, the body perfect. And he's paired with a female that, you know, next to him can look rather puny. But frequently it is this guy who will tap out of the challenge. So you look at it, he wanted to, he wanted to be successful at this challenge, that was his goal. He came into it, he wanted to, he had a lot to prove. But three days in, it's too much. And he taps out. And the woman frequently does succeed. But when you look at the background to it, what is it bodybuilders do? They train a lot. They pay attention to all of their food. They're looking at their bodies and trying to make them as beautiful as possible in their eyes. Now all of a sudden they're in a jungle. They forget about having enough calories. They don't even, they don't have the right proportions. They're not looking at this amount of protein, this amount of carbs. They don't have time to go work out and exercise. They're too busy putting up a shelter. They can't keep fully hydrated because first of all, they've got to find the water. They've got to find a way to boil it or filter it or something or other. So you have conflicting goals. That's, the point of this story you have, they have the goal to succeed at this survival challenge of 21 days, but they have dedicated so much of their lives to building body beautiful that these desires are in conflict. And you know, it depends which one is the most important. But you can have that for any self-sabotage. So perhaps you know that you want to lose a few pounds, so you're going to go on a diet. But then you're, you experience some stressful event and perhaps you're, as a child, your mom always gave you ice cream when you were upset, or maybe you got cake as a treat because you had done well. Well, then these things come into conflict. Your automatic reaction to I've had a bad day is going to be to reach for the ice cream, reach for the cake, reach for the treat. And that's in conflict with, well, I want to lose weight. So which one is going to win this particular battle? That's often what self sabotage is about. Self-sabotage isn't your subconscious mind wanting to punish you. It wants to protect you. But it's relying on old information, information that doesn't hold up today. And so self sabotage can cause you to get out of, getting promoted. Because maybe in a promotion you have to do public speaking and your subconscious mind says, hey, remember as a child how embarrassed you were? You don't ever want to do that again. So you create obstacles for yourself, you create excuses for yourself. Learning more about, you know, how the information gets into the subconscious mind and changing that self-talk, those inner beliefs. That is going to be, you know, your path forward.
SAMIA: Yeah, I really like how you frame the understanding of self-sabotage as your mind trying to protect you. Just using old information that is no longer so helpful because you know, like, I must say, like for a long time I struggled with the concept of accepting self-sabotage. I want this thing that I am now striving for. I don't want to sabotage myself. I don't know what you're talking about…
RAVINDER: Such a common response, Samia.
SAMIA: Yeah, yeah, because it's like it just doesn't, like, you know, we're just so used to, I think it's, you know, part of the education system that we go through, especially those of us who are more science minded or have a strong science background, especially in our education. But I think just Western modern education in general has its emphasis on, you know, valuing the rational, logical mind. And you know, it there isn't like again, unless you go out of your way, go off the beaten path in terms of your education, you don't get to learn about these other aspects of yourself and how you function in terms of, you know, the complexities of our mind and so forth. There's very relatively few tools that we are trained in for literally decades in the course of, you know, our, you know, starting from when we were little kids all the way through, you know, as long as it takes us to get through our, our formal education. And there are certain tools that you're taught to use and so you get good at them. And there's just so much missing information in that whole system of education and experience of education that we... I mean, and so no wonder it's like no one teaches us about, you know, oh, there's a subconscious mind and this is what it means and you know, in terms of self-sabotaging and this is what you can do about it. Like you don't learn about it in school or even college, etc... And so it's like you hear these concepts and you're like, oh, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't believe it. This is all woo woo or for you know, like, you know, this is a very common response like I hear in my Indian Pakistani community, especially with like the older generations, like my parents, they don't believe in mental health seeking mental health help. They, there's just this, it's just not part of how they've experienced, even understanding what can challenge us. It's sort of like with me, for example, in my generation I've, I of course became a psychology major and developed a value for, you know, various kinds of mental health therapies and so forth. I have other sister, like cousins who have shared with me that they're receiving counseling or therapy etc, but in like my parents generation, that is very, very rare, very unheard of. And there's like this huge resistance to it. And you can like, I can see as clear as day, and so many of these members of my family that, oh, they're struggling with this, they're struggling with that, and they're doing their very best to resolve those issues. Like a lot of times these are like physical issues that they're struggling with in terms of their physical health. I'm like, okay, you know why? Like, for me it's so clear that you're continuing to struggle with it despite your best efforts. You're going to see like, literally sometimes 10, 15 different doctors, and still the conditions are not being resolved, it's not getting better. In some cases it's getting worse. And like, you know, from my perspective, it's like as clear as day because there's like underlying unhealed trauma here that you need to address. And please let me share some resources for you in that context. You don't have to work with me, but, you know, let me share some resources with you. And they no, no. You know, oftentimes one of the responses will be no, no... Like if even if there is some kind of, you know, trauma or something like that, you just pray to God and God, you know, you will help you and cure you. But I'm like, it's not happened yet. I mean, I don't mean to just respect the power of prayer or downplay the power of prayer. I fully believe in the power of prayer. But when you have been praying for something of, for literally decades in the, you know, and you're not seeing any results, like, maybe there, it's time to ask some questions about, well, is there something I need to do different about how I'm praying or what I'm even praying for or, you know, like, what... Why are my prayers not being answered, as it were? And then there's an answer to that is, oh, no, you know, this is a test, the challenge from God. And God wants us to go through this pain, through this experience, because this is just part of, you know, God's plan for us. And so you just have to bear it and you know, tolerate it and try to get through it the best you can. And I'm like, I don't like that kind of thinking. It doesn't make change fun and easy. It doesn't even feel very empowering. And it's just, you know…
RAVINDER: That's the big thing... It is empowering. There is so many things that you covered in there, there Samia, you talked about, you know, your parents and family don't believe in mental health. But that was been very common over here in the west as well. There's been a huge taboo. It's a sign of weakness to admit to having these issues. Now in the Indian culture, which is going to be very similar to your culture. You have this idea of this is what you're supposed to do, and you're not supposed to question it. This is how it's always been done. And you are supposed to be a good girl. Do as you're told. Do as the elders tell you. If you do it, do it correctly. So when it comes to mental health issues, east and west have, they've all had problems accepting that because it is so taboo. It's changing now. And that's a good thing. I think that gives people the pathway forwards. But you've also got, you know, just the very beliefs you were talking about, the power of prayer. I can compare that to say, the law of attraction, several years ago now. The Law of attraction became really big when this secret came out, that was a huge phenomenon, and they started teaching. It's all about ask, believe, receive. But then, you know, you'd get these people who teach the Law of Attraction. And I've heard so many of people that have come to me saying that they had gone back to their teachers said that it hadn't worked, and they're told that you're not doing it right, you're not believing enough. You have to, you have to do it more is ask, believe, receive. All you have to do is believe. They don't explain why you don't believe anything. And the other answer that comes along too, which I find a bit hysterical actually, is this idea of you also have to allow it to happen in the divine order. The divine is going to tell you when it's going to happen. And it, you know, it's all so very, very airy, fairy. It's not solid in that at all. What I wanted to do in mind training, you know, the title is Mind Training, the Science of Self-Empowerment. I wanted to provide tools that had been scientifically researched, tested out. All the tools and techniques I talk about in my training draw on independent research. This isn't my own research. I was looking at all the research that is being done out there. So I think I cite around 200 different scientific studies. These are when it comes to like the placebo effect that gets controlled for in research, they want to make sure that it's not the placebo effect which is all good and well. They want to, you know, you should know exactly the effect that a drug is having. But the placebo effect becomes important as well. There two sides to all of that. So in my training, as I said, I wanted to keep it very, very science-based. I don't want any of this. Well, you haven't done it enough. You know, the tools and techniques I have, have been demonstrated effective. Most of the tools and techniques are very simple, incredibly simple, but they have far-reaching events. So you were talking earlier about children aren't taught these things in schools. There's one example that I have where tons of research has been done on the positivity effect and optimism, and the kinds of results that you can get from that. But what they found there was a longitudinal nurses study and where the nurses were asked to keep journals and they look at these journals and what they found was the most optimistic women had significantly reduced chances like 16% reduced chance of dying from cancer and all the way up to 50% and more reduced chance of dying from an infection. But take it out of the health, take it into success, relationships, happiness, prosperity. Having an optimistic personality has been shown to have far-reaching consequences for that too. And you can say that, well, I'm just not that optimistic. I think that's very Pollyanna-ish. But when you look at the research, when you see what has been done, what they have discovered, then you have to start saying, well, how can I change it if I'm not a very optimistic person? What can I do to change that? And journaling can be a great technique but you're not going to do it until you really believe that it's going to have this much of a consequence on your life that you're going to, that you have the potential of earning x percent more just by being optimistic. It actually makes sense if you stop and think about it. The optimistic person, the person with the friendly sunny outlook, you know, they can smile, it's more attractive, you will attract people to you, you will have more friends if you are smiling and optimistic, you're gonna just receive more opportunities because of it. So it's pretty basic when you look at it, but the scientific research just holds it out more and more. So when they looked at the power of positivity and heart disease, even with a family history of heart disease, according to a Johns Hopkins study, you were still a third less likely to suffer from heart problems. So being optimistic, you know, it has an effect on your body, it has an effect on your entire outlook. But you have to, you have to understand all the science behind it in order to put these things in effect. Otherwise, it's too much like your mom telling you smile, you know, breathe, breathe more slowly, you know, it doesn't, you know, you tend to dismiss those things that can be simple. But when you have all the scientific proof laid out in front of you, when you're told exactly how it works, then you get empowered to tweak it so that it suits your own lifestyle. It's not a case of not believing enough. It's about having the facts and then finding ways to incorporate it into your everyday life.
SAMIA: Yes. You know, one of the very, very helpful things that I learned in the context of, you know, my education in psychology is this like causal chain concept that, you know, all of these things are connected our beliefs, which have a causal impact on the thoughts we think, which have a causal impact on the feelings that we feel, which have a causal impact on the actions that we take. And vice versa works the other way around as well. And so a lot of times when we're trying to create change, one of the biggest mistakes people can make is that they're trying to focus on changing their behavior without addressing the further down the chain things. A lot of times people are not even aware of the beliefs that they need to change that are causing them to think the way they think, which cause them to feel the way they feel, which cause them to act the way they act. They're just trying to change the way they act without even being aware of how they have conflicting beliefs that if they were aware of and they worked on simultaneously changing at the same time, etc. It would make that change process so much easier, so much less full of self-sabotage, as it were, and so on, so forth. And definitely like when I think about, well, how do you create change in your beliefs. I agree with you so much, Ravinder, that a lot of it does come down to you have to get new information, you have to, you know, re-educate yourself basically. And it doesn't immediately have an impact, like for me, in the context of my experience with improving my mental health. You know, it took a while, you know, studying these different kinds of concepts like positivity, optimism, the impact of them. Like when you first learn about them, it plants a bit of a seed, but it can take that seed can take a while to like really, you know, develop that root and then sprout and then, you know, like really begin to have strong impact in your life and in terms of actually helping you change your thoughts on a consistent basis and so forth. And I think sometimes, you know, also that is what becomes missing in our change-making efforts is that, you know, like this understanding of, you know, again, just how the change-making process really works. So I'm so glad that this is like you in the work that you're doing, you're helping us all understand it so much better. Yay!
RAVINDER: It, you know, it's true that I often talk about there's two directions you can go with self-empowerment, self-improvement. Personal development I think is the more popular term today. You know, you can look forward and create the changes, and that's what most people will do. And for lots of the smaller changes, that's fine. That's the quickest way for some of the deeper issues. You do need to go back into the past and examine your history, maybe get therapy. But there's a great deal of therapy that you can do just on yourself. And it comes with understanding how the information gets there, what the significance is. Freud most people are aware of the id, the ego, the super ego that Freud talks about. Ego gets a bad reputation. People, you know, often put that just in egotistical, as though it's really bad. But the ego is the mediator between the Id that wants immediate satisfaction and the super ego. That is all the shoulds and shouldn'ts that society places on us. It creates that ideal. People looking at some of these models can be really beneficial to us when we start to try to figure out some of our own complex. What Freud also found was he was working in the area of female hysteria used to be a real condition. In fact, I discovered when I was reaching the book that even as I was getting ready to go away to university, it was still... Female hysteria was still a condition in the DSM. So I could have been locked up because I like to read too much. Female hysteria is a huge example because just by the very framing, it frames women as being weaker, incapable, liable to, you know, prone to fainting or having hysterics or put them in that category. And those types of categories control us a lot. Women today are still trying to fight their way out of it and trying to, you know, you have this conflict between the guy is supposed to be chivalrous, be a gentleman, he's supposed to do stuff. But some of those things can be disempowering for a woman, you know…
SAMIA: That and burdensome for the men.
RAVINDER: It is, it is. And, you know, guys have to... Well, they're not supposed to cry. They're not supposed to do this. They're supposed to be strong. They can't... You know, we have to find a way to get rid of these preconceived ideas. The programming that comes from the past. One of the things that I cover in mind training, I mean, I go through all of these different models, but I talk about Eric Erickson's eight stages of development. And that could be a great way to think about your own... All the places in your life where you haven't been as successful as you want to be when you realize the significance of successfully getting through the different stages of life. So one example, they were looking at infants and they found, they looked at the degree of bonding these infants had with their primary caregivers, you know, mom, dad, whoever. And from that information, they could predict how well that child would do in high school and on... They could predict how many friends they would have, what kinds of relationships they would have, how successful that would be. Well, if you can say, you know, perhaps you've always had difficulty finding partners, perhaps you don't have lots of friends, but if you can go back and look at all of these different stages of development, you can maybe find the cause. And what Freud found when he was looking at female hysteria is that when they went back, you know, using therapy, when they went back, they frequently found a traumatic event. And when the patient remembered the traumatic event, there was often a cathartic release that be crying, that they'd be upset. Just like the woman who had the pain in her arm. It was an emotional event. She went back, she saw it in the clear light of day. And it loses its power when you see where some of these issues come along. It was when I was looking through that, you know. I pinpointed why as a child growing up, I always felt inadequate, insecure, inferior... Well, I was brought up in England. In my area, I was the only Brown. We were the only Brown family, the only brown girl in the, in the class. And there was a great deal when I was growing up the British, you know, could have the stiff upper lip. This is the right way to do things and they weren't accepting. The world has changed drastically since then. People are more open to diverse ideas, different ways of doing stuff. But that wasn't how I grew up. I grew up where everybody else did it the right way, and I did it the wrong way.
SAMIA: Yeah.
RAVINDER: I was always feeling insecure and inferior, but I wasn't aware of it till I started looking at Ericsson's eight stages of development, and I pinpointed it right there. Now, it's not a case of, you know, it's not a pass fail for each of these different stages in life. They all come in degrees. So you can take a look at it. But just as with Freud, when the patients had their cathartic release, I could look back and say, that's where it is. I don't have to hold on to that. Especially when I look today and I see how far I've come. There isn't anything in mind training any tool in there that I haven't used myself. I have been working on these things. I have come a long way. I used these tools and techniques. I used to have a total phobia about public speaking. I can actually remember the event that was a huge trigger for that. And it was event in this, in a school production, if I can pinpoint it exactly. I have used the tools and techniques in mind training to cure myself of rheumatoid arthritis, to have the confidence to write the book on mind training. There are many people out there so much more qualified than me. But what I've learned is that some people can have the academic background, but they don't have the idea of how to make practical use of all of this information, how to bring it all together in order to actually create success in their lives in ways that are scientifically demonstrable.
SAMIA: Yes, no, that is definitely a skill that... Wow. It's so critical and so like oftentimes not recognized. I know, like when it's like, you know, like I said, I'm bit nerdy. I love learning for learning sake, and a lot of times like I would learn things and I didn't know how to put it to use in my life. And I would go to my teachers, the professors, whose classes I was taking from where I was learning this information, and oftentimes they could not guide me either on how to implement that information in my life. I could see actual change. But there have been some exceptions in that context, in terms of the teachers I've had the privilege to study with and study under and it made such a big difference. The ones who had that, that skill of being able to take, you know, what you figure out, find in the research, and be like, ah, and this is how you can apply it in your life. It was like really interesting. I found this most clearly demonstrated in this class that I took on educational psychology, where they were like, basically the focus was on researching what allows people to learn in best ways and retain the learning, and utilize the learning. And I guess we shouldn't be surprised that because that was the area of research. It's like with every finding that they found in terms of the research, the research team, they made recommendation of, okay, in terms of designing a test for students, here are different kinds of formats you could do. And this is a kind of format that is likely to help the students the most in terms of, you know, the test itself becomes a tool of enhancing student learning. You know, or here this is something the research shows about, you know, how much information the brain can process, you know, at one time. And so here's a strategy for when you're studying for tests and you have to go through a lot of different, a lot of like information. You can use this trick to sort of like chunk the information and so forth and then you can, you know, better retain all this information... It was just like every, like as much as possible, you know, when they found something in the research, then they would come up with some practical application of it in the way that you as a student, you know, engage in the learning process or the teacher, teachers that are teaching you. So they had all of these recommendations and then of course they continue to do research on, okay, are these recommendations that we are making really the best way to go or not? It's like constantly beautiful process of, you know, feedback. And so you continue to improve not just research findings in terms of making them more and more accurate, but the recommendations, the practical applications that you are recommending also become more and more fine-tuned, and you know, like, you figure out how to make it more easier and so forth. So that was like such a wonderful and life-changing experience.
RAVINDER: I agree that, that is, that is the best. I, you know, there are loads of incredible books out there on the mind and how it works, but they generally don't give you the practical applications. Sometimes I think it's academics for academics sake. And I'm getting older now, and it's like I don't want just to parade around all the information I've got. It doesn't mean anything. It has to add to the quality of life for myself and for everyone that I talk to. So I made it as I did mind training, I had some beta readers going through it and that they would ask, well, what do I do with this information? So what I did at the end of every chapter, I gave highlights as to why this information was significant. It's not, you know, just theoretical. It's like what was important, what are the important details to remember here? And then I gave some exercises. Until you start putting these things into practice, it becomes information that's in one ear and out the other just floats on it. And I didn't want to do that. So as I said, the tools and techniques are very simple. But when you read the chapter, you read the, you know, the notes at the end that highlight what is really important, and then you put it into practice, well, then it becomes a part of you. It becomes a part of you. And it's not something, it's not like, well, I have to go exercise two hours a day, but I don't have two hours a day. It's not like that at all. These are things that you just incorporate into your normal everyday life. You just create these little habits I often talk about small changes accumulate. And that isn't to say that you just have to keep making these small... Taking these small steps on the journey to your destination, and you've still got a billion steps to go. That's not it at all. It's these small steps will change the trajectory of your journey and put you onto a much faster path. The changes come small, but they add up really fast. And they change your entire outlook. When you realize that you have the power to create success in your own life, when you understand the science behind it, when you know how to put it into effect, that is so empowering. You have the ability, you have the knowledge, you can do it. And here are the tools. But look at any area of your life. Imagine that you just, I mean, I don't make overstated promises. You're not going to turn into Michael Jordan because you learn the power of the mind. If you don't have the ability to play basketball, it's not going to happen. But what can happen is you get out of your own way, you can become the best version of yourself. And that to me is what life is about. It's becoming the best version of ourselves, throwing out the garbage that holds us back. The old trainings taking hold of the power that we have inherently within us. The mind has this ability to heal you and to help you create success. You just have to learn to fine-tune it so that it works for your goals and not the programming of the world or your elders. Your elders telling you how you should be... You want to take charge of that programming all for yourself. And it's a beautiful journey.
SAMIA: Yes. Oh, Ravinder, I'm having so much fun talking to you, and you just brought up like so many things that I'm like, ah, more questions for you. But it's time for us to wrap up for today. Do you have any last thoughts you would like to share?
RAVINDER: I would just say appreciate your mind. Appreciate what you can do. You have that ability to make the change, take charge of it. Don't let the world govern you. Don't let life circumstances govern you. There isn't a single area in your life where you cannot create improvement. And the steps to do that are all pretty simple. But first of all, you have to appreciate how powerful your mind is and the influence it has over you.
SAMIA: Thank you for that. Thank you so much... For my last reminder, I will just say please, please make sure you check the show notes because we will be dropping Ravinder's links in there so you can connect with her, check out her book and continue to learn from her with her and get the help and support you need whenever you're ready for it. So until we connect next time, I just wish you luck and lots of peace and joy... :)
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