Love, God, and the Self: A Conversation on Divine Connection.

Love, God, and the Self: A Conversation on Divine Connection. Hediya Sizar & Samia Bano

Want to #feelmoregrounded in daily life? Want to cultivate deeper #selflove with fun and ease?

Listen now to this interview with Hediya Sizar, Founder of House of Leyli, to discover how #sippingtea while blending #persianculture and #mindfulnesspractices can help you ground, connect, and slow down in today’s fast-paced world.

-- Explore the profound link between #mindfulness, happiness, and slowing down.

-- Dive into how mindfulness can deepen self-love and connect us to something greater, #embodyingcompassion, mercy, and grace.

-- Understand how #unlearningfear and #embracingvulnerability helps us reconnect to our authentic self.

-- Learn how seeing the Divine as loving, compassionate, and ever-present can bring peace, patience, and the realization that #youareneveralone.

-- And so much more!

Connect with Hediya & get some delicious Persian tea now at: https://houseofleyli.com/

To Book your Free HAPPINESS 101 EXPLORATION CALL with Samia, click: https://my.timetrade.com/book/JX9XJ

#mindfulnesspractice #mindfullivingtips #mindfulliving #SelfLoveJourney #PersianTeaRitual #SlowDownAndBreathe #GratitudePractice #MindfulnessPractice #DivineConnection #SelfLoveAndHealing #PatienceAndPresence #GratitudeJourney #DivineWithin #HealingThroughLove #EmbodyLove #RumiWisdom #liveyourbestlife #feelinggrounded #selflovematters

Here's the audio version of this episode:

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Full Video Transcript

SAMIA: Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, Privet, Mabuhay, and Dzień Dobry! I'm so happy to be here today, and I know you will be so happy you've joined us because we have a very cool and special guest with us, and that is Hediya Sizar, who is the Founder of the house of Leyli and oh gosh, I'm just so excited to jump into our conversation. But before that, welcome, Hediya…

HEDIYA: Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited for our conversation. I've been looking forward to it.

SAMIA: Yes, me too. Me too. And Hediya, will you please tell us more about who you are and what you do?

HEDIYA: Yeah, absolutely. So my name is Hediya. I am the Founder of House of Leyli, which is a lifestyle brand that cultivates mindfulness rituals inspired by Persian culture. I myself grew up in the US. I'm Iranian is my background. And what led me to Founding House of Leyli really briefly is growing up having Persian tea with my grandmother was one of my fondest memories. And every day after school, we would come home and my mom would brew a fresh pot of tea and we would sit together, three generations of women sharing stories, reciting poetry of Hafiz and Rumi. And that ritual of slowing down, of connecting with one another and reflecting later after many years inspired the founding of House of Leyli, which is why we cultivate mindfulness rituals through poetry and through tea.

SAMIA: I really, really love that. And thank you so much for sharing that little bit of your journey, and I'm sure we'll dig deeper into it as we continue our conversation. With so obviously, like in what you're sharing, you know, there's the tea drinking, but the tea is its own point. But it's not the only point. It's like there is what goes along with the tea drinking that creates that extra layer of meaning in things. So tell me a little bit more about that aspect of what you do. Like, what is the meaning that you are creating and looking for and wanting other people to connect with?

HEDIYA: Yeah. Well, I should name that the practice of tea plays an integral role in so many different cultures across the world. And for so many, there are different types of meanings. You know, whether for me in particular, tea has been a medium really of slowing down. And ultimately, and through my own practice that then I've hoped to share with others is how it's a sensory experience. And in many ways, you're able to around into your own body and explore all of your senses to slow down. So whether that's taste, the touch, the heat of the tea itself, being able to look at that color and reflect upon that, all of these senses are you can embody is embodied through tea and ultimately gives you that moment to really slow down and reflect and to center yourself.

SAMIA: Yeah. Yeah, the grounding, the connecting to your senses and the slowing down. Why is the slowing down so important?

HEDIYA: Yeah, I mean, we live in today's world. You know, it can be very fast paced. I myself, I live in New York City. I've been living here for almost 10 plus years. And I definitely think I have become a bit of a victim to the hustle and the bustle of of the city. And I have just noticed personally that I have truly been able to find a bit of slowing down when I have a cup of tea. And almost even in the simplest sense is because I have tea with me right now. It's hot and you can't drink it really quickly. You actually have to take your time with taking each sip. And through that process of taking your time, for myself, able to experience each note of taste and really being able to savor that. And that's almost a metaphor for living life, to embrace that moment of slowing down, not rushing, and really savoring every moment for what it is.

SAMIA: Yes. It makes me think about some of the very important lessons around living in the moment, which is, you know, when we think about happiness, how to be happy, you know, as a happiness expert, that's the thing that I think about all the time. Living in the moment is one of those core lessons we have to embody in our lives to really like if you want to be happy, if you want to be in any kind of control of your happiness, you have to learn to live in the moment. Because how are you going to experience happiness in the past? Or how are you going to experience happiness in the future? All we really have is the present moment. And so, you know, if you're not in the present moment, you cannot experience... Like if you're not really mindfully present in the present moment, because we're always in the present, but we're not always mindfully there. And so if you're not mindfully there, actually that's when all the stress comes in. That's when all the, like if you are dealing with, let's say sadness, depression, anger, you know, all of that is related to your past experiences in most cases, unless you're going through a crisis in the moment. But for most of us, the disturbance in our peace and happiness that we're experiencing most of the time, it's related to either that we are ruminating on the past or we are worrying about the future. We're not living in the moment. 

HEDIYA: Yeah. Yeah.

SAMIA: So when we live in the moment, what's the point? Like, what do you discover about life and the purpose of your life, when you live in the moment?

HEDIYA: Well, I mean, I think that is for everyone's interpretation. It's a subjective answer. But I do think that the beauty of living in the moment is being able to see and experience love, and it's true, it's form. And I think when we have the opportunity to slow down and really reflect, it can also be a flood of a lot of different emotions. And sometimes we don't have that space to really process for ourselves. And so what's beautiful when we're able to really slow down and be in the present, maybe we're also being able to appreciate and have gratitude for being and for those little moments, right. Something that I have been able to experience when I've been facilitating, I facilitate a lot meditative experiences using tea as a medium. And excuse me, a lot of the feedback that I've gotten from people is that while I never thought that I could be so grateful for having a cup of tea, I never thought about that. I'm usually drinking it really quickly, or I'm having my cup of coffee while I'm working and it's just there, something on the side. But now I actually notice that I'm really grateful for that one sip or for that cup. And that's just one example of a larger metaphor of life, of how everything really is the littlest things that add up to create the beauty that we're all existing in together.

SAMIA: Yes, yes. To experience more gratitude again. Like, for me, anytime I think gratitude, I think happiness. Those two things are like just so connected. I don't even know if it's possible to have one without the other. But also you said something about being able to experience love when you're present in the moment. Tell me more about that.

HEDIYA: Yeah, I mean, I think that we are all in many ways a channel, a vessel of love. We have the opportunity in our fullest potential to be embodying love. And so when we have that opportunity to really slow down and reflect and to look inward, I would hope, and at least through my own experiences, then that experience of self-love. How do we be able to love and respect, and appreciate ourselves? And when you have that level of abundance that's filled within you, you're able to ultimately manifest that to others. And I was just recently at a really close friend's funeral, and I had realized that the most beautiful part about his life was the love that he had and the connection and the relationships he's cultivated with others. And that is a such a profound reminder of really our legacy and how we touch people. And so I think that when we really have that opportunity to look within and hold our own hearts, we're really ultimately able to give offer that invitation to others to be a part of that, to feel that warmth, that can feel very comforting.

SAMIA: Yeah. Do you have a definition of love? Like, what does love mean to you?

HEDIYA: That's a hard one. I think it's. I think it is the qualities of Allah at its finest. And there are many names for that, whether that's being merciful, or gracious, all knowing, forgiving. I really think that that ultimately captures the true essence of love is ultimately manifested in the qualities of Allah.

SAMIA: And just for those of our listeners who may be unfamiliar with what Allah is just the Arabic word for God. So she says, Allah, you thank God. Ah, you... Okay, you have to tell me more about that. So being present in the moment, slowing down allows us to experience love. And then for you, you were saying love has to do with... It's really sort of like different qualities of experiencing different qualities of Allah, of love, of the Divine. That is such a profound way to think about what love is, Hadiya. You have to tell me more. So if love is about experiencing these different qualities of the Divine, then it's like you're experiencing love is then being in relationship with the Divine. But you also talked about self-love. And so what's the connection for you there?

HEDIYA: Yeah, well, I think it's we all have those qualities within us. And so the practice of being able to acknowledge that those qualities exist and to offer that towards oneself is also very profound in so many ways when we think about love in the romantic sense of affection and care or the unconditional love of a parent to a child or to someone that's really close can also be mirrored to how one also sees themselves. And it's about being able to extend that quality one to yourself and ultimately to others. And it's fascinating. We live in this world with so much comparison and wanting to be more and be better and it cuts away from the graciousness that we should have for ourselves when we start to think about, oh, I'm not good enough, or why is this like this and that and that? But it's coming from a place of almost a scarcity versus this place of kindness and compassionate to oneself, which ultimately, at the end of the day, that is God of all compassionate. And so that is just another reminder of sharing that compassion with oneself, which is not easy. That is a practice in itself. It is a journey. It's a journey for myself that I think I've constantly been on and I'm still going on. And then being able to then extend that compassion to others.

SAMIA: Yeah. You know, you have mentioned this idea of, like, filling your own cup, filling your like experiencing the self-love, and then being able to extend that out to others. And I am fully on board with you with that idea and with that knowing that when we do take good care of ourselves, when we do have self-love it is so much easier for sure for us to extend that out to others. And at the same time, I'm thinking about, like, so many people that I know in my life and people that I work with, for whom that's not the reality of their experience. And what I mean, what I'm referring to is, I think especially you see this a lot with women because we are in caregiving roles, we are in nurturing roles, and you see so many women who are constantly loving and being so compassionate towards other people. And that is how you know them in terms of their character. You know, whether I'm thinking of my mom or any number of other amazing, amazing women in my life, and I don't think there's any pretense in the love that they give and the compassion that they show. They're really coming from a genuine place. And at the same time, I see them struggling with self-love, with self-care, with self-compassion. And so there is this gap, you know, that is existing. And also this, it's almost like ideally we would think, oh, okay, yeah, first we love ourselves and then we get to love other people. But a lot of times what people are experiencing is they're giving so much love to others, but not to themselves. And so what's going on there in terms of, or like, yeah, it's like, what's up with that? What do we do about it?

HEDIYA: Yeah. That's a very true observation and can be unfortunate. And I think that for women in particular, and even in my own experiences and from other close females I had in my life, there always feels like this expectation that we need to do more and we need to be constantly giving. And you said this earlier, it's like it's really hard to give when your own cup is not full. And I wonder how much of it has to do with also expectations of growing up in society and the pressures that we have of being a woman, especially depending on where you grew up and what environment and what type of culture, whether you might not have the same opportunities or you're not seen or respected in the same way, or you're constantly having to need to prove yourself of being worthy. And when you... I personally think when you're living in societies where you're not being seen, you are constantly having to prove you are worthy. And sometimes what ends up happening is that narrative starts to be written in your head. And I wonder actually, even for myself, for so much of my life, I've been competing and always thinking, I'm not good enough. I need to do more and more. And only recently in the last couple of years, I realized, how much is it because I feel like that was the narrative that I feel like I was facing, and I'm almost starting to write that narrative and believe that for myself. And so I wonder how much of it is also of an unlearning of an unwiring and just teaching oneself that actually you're beautiful the way you are. There's no more that you need to do and giving that level of compassion. And I think that is a process to first even come to that reckoning as well and to really understand that, you know, sometimes it's what is society is putting on to us, what our cultures, our families are putting on to us.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. No, definitely. I think a lot of this experience that we have of the lack of love and compassion towards ourselves. It's learned behavior, if not all of it, I would argue that probably all of it as learned behavior. You know, because these days, one of the things I'm really loving doing is hanging out with newborn niece and nephew, they're twins, and just holding those little babies and taking care of them. I was actually having this moment of reflection with my sister whose babies they are. And, you know, like when the babies, they cry, sometimes they're like, ah, babies cry. But actually, you know, it's been like, and for me, I must confess, like up to even like just a few years ago, I wasn't particularly very adept at being around babies. Like as long as they were nice and quiet and, you know, happy, I was cool. But the moment they started crying, I was like, somebody, come take this baby away, take care of it. I cannot, I don't know how to help the baby and so forth. Like it made me sort of panic a little bit. But what I've learned, this is my first experience honestly with these little twins, that I find myself not panicking when they cry. And it's like there's been like a shift in not just understanding at an intellectual level, that at the feeling level that, you know, all they're doing when they're crying is they're saying, there's something that I need and please help me. And they're asking for love. They're asking for, you know, care. And that's not a bad thing at all, you know?

HEDIYA: Yeah.

SAMIA: Like, so these days, like, as I've been hanging out with them, like, the other day, my sister, I was amazed. She just felt so confident. She left me alone with the little baby.

HEDIYA: Oh, wow.

SAMIA: And then one of them needed a diaper change. She started crying and I was like, okay, wait. I've been told at this age, it's either they need to eat, they need to be changed, or they need to be burped, other than that, you know, like, I mean, God forbid if they're sick, they might cry, but if they're healthy, those are the only three possibilities. So I was like, okay, let's do a diaper check first. And sure enough, she needed the diaper change. And so then, you know, the thought that came to me, I was like, oh, thank you for letting me know that you need a diaper change. You know, thank you for crying and letting me know because otherwise I wouldn't have known.

HEDIYA: Yeah.

SAMIA: You know, and so it's just, I mean, I don't think the, when we are little babies, we can have any sense of, oh, I don't deserve love or I have to earn love. You're just like, I need something. I'm gonna ask for it.

HEDIYA: Yeah.

SAMIA: You know?

HEDIYA: And you ask for the way, you know?

SAMIA: Wow. Right?

HEDIYA: Yeah.

SAMIA: So I'm like, wow. I mean, that is something just so to be able to ask for the love you need, the care that you need, whenever you need it, in whatever way, you know, or whatever way you can express that. I mean, that is such, I mean, for us as adults, that becomes like such a challenging thing.

HEDIYA: Yeah.

SAMIA: You know, it can become so scary and stuff. I'm sure it's a learned behavior.

HEDIYA: Well, there's a moment of when you become an adult, I think we're more aware of our vulnerabilities. And being able to share you need help or you want something, it almost feels harder to do so because also there is a level of being vulnerable. And how can we embrace more of our own vulnerability, have more grace for feeling that way, and also being able to have to the bravery to share. And so many ways when you sharing this story is that there's so much to learn from children from babies. And in so many ways, they have still yet to experience this world. And so they're seeing in a very raw and vulnerable and very authentic way, that as we get older, we start to become, you know, it's like the nature versus nurture. And so we start to grow up into this world, and we're starting to see, you know, we build up these fears, and we start to become a little bit more protective and more guarded in how we feel. But I think that the process of there's a process of unraveling. And I think that through that journey of self-love, we are forced to face our own vulnerabilities. We're forced to face the ways that of how we feel, whether that's good, whether that's bad, and also to reckon with those as well.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. And for sure, you have to be in the moment to do that.

HEDIYA: Yeah.

SAMIA: Being in the moment and using different practices to help us relearn how to live in the moment or just experience being in the moment, because you're so right. I mean, there's just so much of, like, a hustle bustle that goes on in our life. We're, like, always thinking about the next thing and the next thing that we have to do. That it really, that is I think, yeah, you know, that really becomes a huge, a huge, huge problem. So I also want to go a little bit back to, you know, the idea of love and understanding love as experiencing qualities of the Divine, of God, of Allah. You know, like, tell me a little bit more about your relationship with God. How has that been? Like, what does it mean for you? What significance does it have? Tell me a little bit more about that. .

HEDIYA: Yeah. I laughed because I was, when you asked me that question, you were about to ask me that question. Because I think for me, I have been very blessed to always see. And this was something inspired by my grandmother and something also that really instilled the founding of House of Leyli, of wanting to come create a home of the Beloved, of the Divine, because I think I was introduced to God of being loving. And so for me, I'm grateful because I see God as my friend and as a companion. And I know that as much as I sometimes feel like I can be alone in whatever I am doing or I'm like, oh, this shouldn't be the way that it should be. Just that constant reminder that he's always there and I am not alone. And that everything is divinely orchestrated. In a way that I would never have thought. You know, there's a master planner, an architect, and there's only so much I'm seeing right now. And so, especially when I'm moments of a lot of doubt, which I can have, and also patience. Patience is very hard for me. I'm not a patient person. I have to constantly remind myself that there's something larger there and I'm being taken care of and I'm being loved. And I think a lot of people, maybe when they're growing up, they might not have that perception of the divine. And some people have some anger or doubt. And I think I've been very blessed to see it from a place of deep compassion that has served me well in times of my hardest.

SAMIA: You just made me think about the verse in the Quran. It's one of my favorite, favorite, favorite verses in the sense that it was one of the first verses in the Quran that I really connected with when I started doing a conscious reading of the Quran for myself. And this one basically says, seek help in patience and prayer. And truly, that is hard except for the humble-minded and those who remember that their return is onto their Lord. And, you know, I have had, like, a evolving relationship in terms of my understanding of what this verse is really saying. The very first part of it is what I latched onto when I first, you know, felt that pull towards it, which was seek help and patience and prayer, because I was in all kinds of trouble. And I was looking for some guidance of, you know, like what I needed help. And so this was like, Okay, here's some clues. Seek help in patience and prayer. So tell me more about the patience part. You mentioned you were a little challenged when it comes to being patient.

HEDIYA: Yeah, I mean, I think I'm an impatient person. I think this is probably one of my challenges of life. And I mean, of many. But I think it's because, you know sometimes we want instant gratification or we want the answer right away. And so, and sometimes the answer is not supposed to come right away or it's supposed to evolve and unravel in a way that we don't even know. And so I think for myself personally, like, I want to know, I'm very eager. I'm a very eager person and I don't want to wait, but I've had to constantly be trialed and tested into this process. And every time I'm like, oh, I see it. I understand now, but every time it's still very, very hard to sit with that, to feel that, and to also be in the space of uncertainty. And I think that's actually why it's hard to have patience, because when you're in a space of uncertainty, you want to know. And when you don't know, it can be very hard to feel like you're waiting.

SAMIA: Yeah.

HEDIYA: And you can begin to question. And so that kind of goes back to your point about the beauty of being in the present moment. Because if we're constantly thinking and waiting of the future, well, of course we're going to be impatient. But if we were really, truly being able to sit in that and savor the present for what it is, whether that's good, whether that's bad, but trying to find the beauty and the gratitude of it, that is ultimate. Probably being able to find a bit of center for oneself and maybe a little bit more patience.

SAMIA: Yeah, I'm wondering if we can reflect a little bit more on. The relationship between being patient and being in the moment, and what can emerge from practicing being in the moment in the context of learning to be patient. Because also, like, I think when we think about being patient, a lot of times, you know, that is the experiences like this... We're thinking of, okay, there's something you need to wait for, and so you have to be patient. So there's this element of waiting that you are trying to learn to be better about and deal with. But when we think about what mindfulness teaches us, what practicing mindfulness teaching us, that isn't really about waiting. The lesson of mindfulness is something very different than waiting. So it's just making me think thoughts. I'm wondering what's going off for you.

HEDIYA: Yeah, well, when you shared that, actually, what I was starting to think was, like, it's not... Mindfulness is being. When you're waiting, you're not necessarily really being where you are in that current moment of life, of living.

SAMIA: Yeah.

HEDIYA: We're imagining and anticipating the future that has not yet to exist, nor do we have all control over. And the beauty of mindfulness and ultimately really also focusing on our breath and our heartbeat is that current moment, and that's really life. And we can't control the before or the after of that.

SAMIA: Yeah. And I think that is part of what God is guiding us to in terms of the solution. When we have a problem and God says, seek help in patience, God's saying, you know, that your the solution is not really in the future. It's certainly not in the past.

HEDIYA: Yeah.

SAMIA: You know, it's in the present moment. So be present, you know, and when we're... And when you're being present, I mean, you know, and you're like, cultivating, being present in this mindful way, like you share, Hediya, it's not about like, for example, someone could be present and be focusing on everything that's wrong in that moment that they can see, hear, feel... But that's not what you are practicing or encouraging other people to practice. And I don't think that is what our  God wants us to do either. So there is, like, really an encouragement of, yeah, be present in this moment and focus on what's good. Focus on what you have to be grateful for. Focus on experiencing love in the moment. And that is what's going to help solve your problems. Like that's what, when it says seek help in patience, that's what we're being invited to. You know?

HEDIYA: Right. And as I hear you share this, what it brings up for me is also it's easier said than done. And I think that we in there's a lot happening in the world and there's a lot of pain and trauma, and hardships. And I think that there is also space to acknowledge and to sit with those feelings and to find gratitude. And so it's that, you know, healthy tension of being in both and sitting in both. But it's also very important to acknowledge that we are humans with feelings and that are experiencing this world and the beauty is in perhaps life is a bit messy and is navigating that and being with it. But also we speak of the present moment, but the present moment also is a present, is a gift, right? We have the word present or gift. And so how do we also reframe present moment ultimately being the gift of now? And that every moment is a gift of being and being able to experience the essence of living.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah, I know. You're so right on that. And, you know, the very next part of the verse also acknowledges what you say, where you know, it says, seek help in patience and prayer, and truly it is hard.

HEDIYA: Yeah.

SAMIA: Also, you know, God is the most compassionate and in his compassion, God recognizes that it is a hard thing and the verse goes on to say, except for those... So there is an exception and I think we are being invited to move towards, you know, becoming more and more attuned with that exception experience, you know. And so the exception part, there's like, okay, except for those who are humble-minded and who remember that their return is unto their Lord, I'm wondering if you're having any thoughts about this part of the verse, like where is the connection? Like what is it about being humble-minded or remembering and or remembering that your return is unto your Lord that helps make it easier for us to seek help in patience and prayer. Maybe the patient right now we're focusing on the patience part, but whatever comes up for you…

HEDIYA: Yeah, I think it's what comes up for me is the word of humble, being humble, it's almost humbling that we have this gift to live and be here, really, in itself, having that gift alone, as I'm saying this aloud, makes me think of actually the beauty of even having patience when you already have. And so it is humbling, I think what that verse actually brings up for me is also how large this world is and how we're just one of a larger tapestry. And so when we put that perspective, and it's not just all about us or all about me and my needs, that's important, but it's part of a larger whole that puts things in perspective and it makes it humbling.

.

SAMIA: Oh, I not actually thought about it that way. It's interesting that you... That is the connection or the understanding towards humbleness that you have. Wow... Tell me a little bit more about the, so you're thinking about humbleness and you thought about how we are part of the larger, we are part of a larger tapestry of things. It's not all about us. Oh, interesting... Is that generally how you think about, like, when you think about humbleness or when you experience humbleness, is that generally the context in which you experience it?

HEDIYA: I think so. I mean, it's something that's really, that speaks to me a lot is nature. And I think that's actually one of the reasons why, for example, even within our practice within House of Leyli and using tea as a medium, you know, I mean, think about the leaves where they have come from, the soil that has been nourished and grown on this Earth and cultivated to somehow come into our hands and for us to drink this cup of tea. That's very humbling to think about, to think about so many other parts of this Earth that have been almost guiding us and loving us and being a source of nourishment. And so I think when we take that perspective, it feels very humbling, for myself personally, to think that I get to experience that and so many ways of like, well, who am I in the larger context of all of this?

SAMIA: That is such a beautiful way to think about or experience humbleness, I must say, is usually like when, especially like in my earlier days when I thought about humbleness, it was always in this like sort of way of feeling... feeling like I was lacking, not strong enough, not good enough. And so, like, you know, so not... I don't know enough. So I felt humble in that kind of way, which was not necessarily a very nice feeling for me. And so that was actually one of the struggles that I had initially. I've now developed a different relationship with my understanding of humbleness, but initially, like, that was how I thought about it. And that caused me to have some struggle with this verse also, you know, and I don't know if it's like a family thing, but it's like a theme that like, even my sister struggled with, struggled with. I struggled with that. I think also I've seen this in my mom where, you know, it's sort of like, I think part of it sort of, like, goes back to culture in terms of how culture teaches us to be humble or taught me and people in my family to be humble. And, you know, a lot of it had to do with like, yeah, you know, you maybe it's just part of the collectivistic mindset that tends to sort of downplay the individual. And so, like, even, you know, when I was young and I was like, it was not very common for us to hear praise of ourselves as individuals. Like when you did something well. People praise God, people praise your family, the values that you have been given, you know, and it's like oh, you must have amazing parents or amazing family you come from. They've given you such amazing values. And there's something really beautiful about that as well, you know, but it was never like, oh, Samia, you as an individual are so amazing, or you are, you know, you have done something amazing. It's sort of like, the compliments were always given in a more indirect way. And so that was actually something that was very jarring to me when we moved to America. And especially like, like my first real experiences in America of American culture was when I entered college in America. And then you hear teachers, for example, praising you and being very, or did even just the way Americans talk in general, they're so complimentary towards you as an individual. And it was very different and almost jarring to have, like, my first reactions to people giving me personal compliments was like, oh, no, no, no, like deflection…

HEDIYA: Right.

SAMIA: Not being able to really accept that. And I literally had to go through a training. I went to a workshop where they were like, okay, you're not allowed to engage in any kind of deflection, and people may be complimenting you, and all you can do is say thank you. And we did this, over and over and over and over again. And then I had to continue the practice for weeks and months, probably before I started to really get comfortable with receiving compliments that were personally directed at me. Yeah, I'm very comfortable. But yeah, it's like this weird, I don't think in our culture anyone means like what they do in terms of the more indirect method of complimenting. I don't think it's meant to be negative. But I think there was something in me that took it in a way that was had this negative connotation. So Yeah, but I love the way that you... So it just very refreshing to hear your perspective on humbleness. It's beautiful.

HEDIYA: Well, thank you for sharing that. And I think that's something that I definitely have seen and observed. And to your point, whether it's because of being a part of a more collectivist culture versus a more individualist culture, whether it's the differences between the East or the West. But I think what it's really interesting in going back to that, that verse and thinking about humbleness, but maybe it's more ultimately of there needs to be a sense of acknowledgment of there's something larger than you. That is giving you this beauty of life, but, and also at the same time, that is you that needs that acknowledgement because you are the one living it. And so, interestingly, I love complimenting people. Like, I love it. I honestly was like, if I could have a job to just compliment people and be their champion, I would do it. But it's almost because for me, when I, and this is why I appreciate compliments as well, but when I see it and give it to other people, is because I see their beauty and their soul of one of God. And so of course, I'm going to compliment because I'm seeing ultimately the beauty of our beloved within us that's emanating, that's manifesting. And so that comes from the individual, that's you, for example, who may be wanting to be complimented and the people who have may have contributed to allow you to be the way that you are. And I think that ultimately comes back to that quality of the most compassionate, truly.

SAMIA: Yeah. You, you just made me think about this, like, really popular love song in Hindi. It's like it basically, it's a love song, right. And so the way that in this context, the hero and the heroine that they realize that they love each other is that the verse in the song says, I see the Divine in you. I see something of the divine in you. And so that, and when, well, it was the heroine, actually, who it was, the song was the first time that the song is sung in the movie. It's sung from her perspective. And so she, like, I don't want to get into the whole story, but basically, like she sees for the first time. There's like all kinds of things happen. And then for the first time, something happens where in the hero she sees someone with deep compassion, someone who is giving her unconditional love, showing her unconditional love by accepting her just as she is and meeting her just where she is at without asking questions or making demands of her. And in that compassion and that expression of unconditional love, you know, you hear her mind voice singing the song of, I see the Divine in you and it makes her, you know, also, I mean... So it's not just that she's seeing the Divine in him, but it makes her feel love and makes her feel, you know like, ah, this is somebody I'm grateful to be with, to have in my life. And sometimes we, I think, like, you know, just, I mean, we can narrow our, like, when we think about being in love, we think about it too narrowly. Like, I think in the dominant modern culture, we just narrow it down to, oh, that one relationship with your life. partner or spouse, but really, you know, it's like, whoa... Like, especially when you think about and experience love in the context of seeing the Divine in someone or something else, it really is something that's applicable to every relationship that we have.

HEDIYA: And what a beautiful world we have if we were all to see from that lens. We are mirrors or reflections of one another. You know, see each other's beauty and emanate that beauty. I ultimately believe the world will be more loving.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.  And, you know, I'm realizing that also, like, when we think about love in this context, self-love makes sense. Like, and it's not in any kind of contradiction with loving others, because just as there is something of the Divine in everyone else and in everything else, there's something of the Divine in us as well. And so there is something actually... So if you refuse to see the Divine in you and you refuse to love that Divineness that is present in you, then you're actually putting up this block, like a barrier, like you're that there's sort of like a limit that you're putting to how much you can actually love the Divine.

HEDIYA: Yeah.

SAMIA: Because there is a part of the divine that you're saying, I'm not going to acknowledge, I'm not going to love, that I'm not going to see…

HEDIYA: Yeah. When you speak of barriers, it reminds me, actually, of a beautiful poem by Rumi that many may have heard. Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within you that you have built against it and embrace.

SAMIA: Can you say that again?

HEDIYA: Yeah. Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within you that you have built against it and embrace them.

SAMIA: Yeah. That makes sense. That makes sense. Because the love is ever present. I mean, if the Divine is ever present, then love is ever present. So we seeking the love for... I mean, where are we seeking the love? It's already here.

HEDIYA: It's already there. It's already there.

SAMIA: Yeah.

HEDIYA: Yeah.

SAMIA: Gosh. And Hediya, I could keep talking to you forever, and I feel like we're getting to a point where if I keep talking to you, we'll go for another hour or two or three…

HEDIYA: That's the beauty of it.

SAMIA: Yes. We should probably wrap up, but do you have any last thoughts you would love to share right now as we wrap up?

HEDIYA: Well, thank you so much for having me and for this beautiful, loving conversation. And my only parting thought is an invitation to consider for oneself, how do we embody love? What does that look like? What does that feel like? What does that taste like? What does that sound like in being in the present moment? And for everyone that can feel different. And so my invitation is to embrace what that feeling can look like. Consider that for yourself. consider how that looks as if you were going to extend that love to others. And that is something that we are trying to cultivate at House of Leyli that we're trying to grow. And so for those who are interested in learning more, I highly recommend them to visit our website, www.houseofleyli.com, where we have, you know, curated poetry, meditative experience, beautiful tea collection inspired by my grandmother's recipe. And ultimately at the end of the day, my hope and desire is for all of us to cultivate that sense of home and the beloved within us…

SAMIA: Thank you so much, Hediya. And my last reminder to our audience will be to please make sure you check the show notes because we will drop Hediya's links in there. So you'll be sure to you can connect with her and get more help and support whenever you're ready for it. So until we connect next time, I just wish you lots and lots of peace and joy... :)