The Most Powerful Steps to Lasting Transformation.
With Jesseca Banchy & Samia Bano

Do you keep repeating the same #emotionalpatterns, relationships, or struggles?

Tune in to this episode now to learn the most powerful steps to lasting #transformation, #lastingchange, grounded in Magnetic Soul Healing.

Jesseca Banchy reveals the deeper realities of #emotionalhealing, learning to sit with #difficultemotions, and creating #sustainablechange instead of temporary relief. Jesseca offers the practical steps to create a #healthyrelationship with yourself and others.

Note: Many people spend years trying to "fix" themselves, believing they're broken. Jesseca explains why true healing isn't about becoming someone new—it's about rediscovering the #authentic person you've always been beneath fear, trauma, and conditioning.

Jesseca Banchy is the Founder of Magnetic Soul Healing.

Learn more and connect with Jesseca now at: https://magneticsoulhealing.org/

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#soulhealing #SpiritualAwakening #HealingJourney #SelfHealing #PersonalGrowth #MindsetShift #ConsciousLiving #InnerHealing #EmotionalHealing #TraumaHealing #SelfDiscovery #SpiritualGrowth #AuthenticLiving #EmpowerYourself #MentalWellness #EnergyHealing #MindBodySpirit #HealingTransformation #PurposeDrivenLife #SelfWorth #Resilience #WomenEmpowerment #ConsciousPodcast #PersonalDevelopment

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Transcript Automatically Generated

Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, Privet, Mabuhay, and Dzień Dobry…

It's really, really good to be with you all again.

And I know you'll be so glad you have joined us today because we have a very cool guest, and that is Jesseca Banchy, who is the founder of Magnetic Soul Healing, and also another business, Compost Cultura. Did I say that?

Yeah, Compost Cultura. It's just culture with an A at the end. That's how you say culture in Spanish.

Nice. I'm not a Spanish speaker, so miss-

That's okay.

I'm mispronouncing.

No, no, that's fine. It was beautiful. It was perfect, what you said.

Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. So, Jesseca, first of all, welcome.

Then secondly, please tell us more about who you are and what you do.

Well, I may not be single, but I definitely am bilingual, and I proudly identify as a multifaceted lady that does all kinds of stuff within art, athleticism, business, and energy. I'm also an athlete, I guess identification specifically athlete in a real arts business owner. I owned three businesses, a small current business in Alaska, Magnetic Soul Healing, which is a coaching business and Campos Cultura.

I sell compost bins online and I work full-time as a nurse, and I do lots of other things. I guess that's a short introduction.

Societal Roles Freedom

I love it. You are a person after my own heart because I have a similar thing going on in my life where there's multiple buckets that I work with.

We can do it as ladies. It's important that we do multiple things than just be married and have kids and focus on men.

We're a very special creature within the human species.

I agree with you. Even the ladies who are married and have kids take on so much. They have to deal with so much on their plates.

It's not an easy job at all. And it is a job for all that we don't count it in the dominant culture, which is very patriarchal, very sexist. You know, that work gets devalued.

But it is extremely important work. It's really, really demanding work as well.

You know what? That's the thing across all cultures that women experience. And it's been something that has gone on for a very long time.

And I think it's very important as a human species to enjoy life. And, you know, there's a lot of things that we experience as difficult. And, you know, a lot of testing experiences in human beings.

Though I think that we're capable of more, we're capable of experience life with more joy instead of all these rules and identifications and roles that we play.

Indeed, indeed. I mean, there is certainly a place for the rules and the roles. But I think we can get overly caught up in them to the point where we lose perspective on the fact that these rules and roles have been made by us, ideally to serve us, but we end up becoming enslaved to them.

And I think that's when, you know, really we get into trouble.

Yeah. And it's okay. It's all part of the human experience.

This is the way that God made us. God made us with, we have free will, but we have psychology and we have a society that we created. And I don't know the entire, you know, where this all began, but I believe that we're all, we're truly peaceful as human beings, as species.

Even though we see a lot of the contrary throughout the world.

Yeah.

Humans aren't always safe to be around. And it's just, it's, it's a really sad way to experience life as a human being, to be very restrictive and have so many expectations and turn things of, turn outcomes or the way people's behavior is into violence.

Yeah.

Or other ways of crossing other people's boundaries instead of focusing on the truth of life, which is our relationship with God. And it doesn't always have to be a religious view. You know, anyone's way of reaching God is their own way and it doesn't matter.

It's just having a relationship with God is the most important thing in this life.

Yeah. Let me ask you, what is your understanding of God? Hey, thanks for tuning in to this episode.

Hope you're getting value out of it. For your information, this episode has been sponsored by The Happiness 101 Program. Are you a change maker, coach, trainer or healer?

Are chains of fear holding you back from making the impact and income you desire? Using a unique combination of positive psychology and the spiritual wisdom of our most effective changemakers, the Happiness 101 Program helps you break through your limiting beliefs and manifest the abundance and success you desire with fun and ease. Interested?

Book a free Happiness 101 Exploration Call with me, your Happiness Expert, Samia Bano. Just use my online calendar link in the show notes. Now back to the show.

It's always evolving, and my relationship with God definitely could be stronger. But I see God as a non-physical form that is within me, that's within my mind, that's within everything and everyone, that it's all around me.

I know God's there, though there's still too many times where my connection is a little rocky, and I recognize that. So, but I get to experience a lot of moments of bliss naturally, but I also experience a lot of the contrary. I still experience a lot of stress and anxiety and anger and frustration with myself in this world.

And, you know, I always come back to, why do I experience this? Why did I have this experience out in the world? And I see it as that's something that God wants me to experience and wants me to learn to, this may sound strange, but learn to love.

Yeah, doesn't sound strange to me at all. Actually, you know, that is a realization I've been, I mean, I've had this realization for a while now that like certainly for me, like when I learned to connect with my heart, with my inner self, it was very clear that you're here to learn to love and be loved. And everything else is sort of like to help with that, isn't meant to be in service of that purpose.

And so what you're saying makes a lot of sense to me. And I realized that, you know, that was the answer that my heart gave me for me. But it's actually also more than that.

It's not just about me. It's actually, in some ways, one of the fundamental purposes for human life itself, when we think about and look at things from a spiritual perspective. So it's like a really interesting, like once you have that realization, it really creates, I mean, like for me, like you were talking about this, it just creates such a different perspective on like when you go through challenges, difficulties.

And I know for you, you have experienced betrayal, and that's something, you know, that you love to share in terms of your journey of healing after experiencing that betrayal. And so it's like, and you know, like for a lot of people, something like going through a betrayal, you're like, what? But then our purpose is love, and we're supposed to be fundamentally peaceful and about love.

But how does that all like, you know, I mean, that like a lot of people can get lost and confused in that line of questioning and trying to figure things out. I would love to hear more from you about what you experienced and the journey you have had.

Abuse Emotional Independence

Yeah, of course. I've, I look back on my life and I realized since I was a little girl that I have had a focus on men and men liking me. And I've done a very deep analysis as to why I feel feelings of insecurity, why I feel such an anxious attachment to, within a relationship.

And why do I have, why do I have this drive to be with someone that I have a lot of senses, a lot of divine notification that I shouldn't be with them, per se. And even though we're all here on this earth, as human beings and we're all brothers and sisters in the eyes of God, there's just a self-worth that we all have. And when it's lower or whatever, we are unable to create the energy around us that we want, that we truly, divinely want to be in.

And I look at a lot of my patterns and there are a lot of the relationships that I have chosen to be in.

And it's helped me build a lot of courage.

It's also taught me how to stick up for myself and how to shift my energy. Because like I said, since I was a little girl, my focus was on boys and men. And now it's just showing me, if I'm so focused on a man and the way he feels and him liking me, how is that?

How do I have power with myself through that? I am leaking out my energy and my focus on someone else that doesn't even truly care for me. You know, I was married for a decade, and it took me 10 years to realize that he wasn't in the marriage for me.

He didn't love me. He was there just for the, because I was his, we were each other's first boyfriend and girlfriend. And, you know, within a Christian and Catholic family, it's like you're, you're, you get married to the first person that you're with as a younger person when you're in your younger years or whatever.

And that's just who you're going to be with. And this is the way it's going to be. And, you know, I was with him in my teens till my twenties.

And it wasn't until I had a release of stress in my mind, which was after I started my career as a nurse, which is where I actually had an income and I could actually live on my own and take care of myself financially. And I didn't have that financial stress. And I wanted to explore more of life, and he didn't.

And he was very abusive, too. And I just thought that was normal because that's what I saw in my home growing up. That's what I saw in my grandparents.

Yeah. And that's not love. Love is supposed to be, relationships are supposed to be fun, and they're supposed to be a fun thing to be in and to feel love for yourself and the other person.

Yeah. Yes, this is such a critically important insight that you're sharing. I mean, this is an issue that I find in our community as well.

And now I'm thinking about my Indian, Pakistani, Muslim community or communities, I should say, because we're not monolithic by any means. But in the Quran, for example, it says very clearly, like if you look at the teachings around why marriage, it says so that you can find peace with each other, so you can find contentment with each other, love with each other. And that is the explicitly stated goal for why marriage, you know, and yet there are so many people who are married and they're absolutely miserable.

And I mean, okay, yes, I understand that, you know, no relationship is going to be perfect. Everyone needs to learn how to be with other people. And we need to learn to, you know, compromise and all of that good stuff.

But when there's abuse happening in a situation, I mean, I think it needs to be recognized and I think it needs to be dealt with in a different way than we would, I say, normal conflict, in quotes, you know. And I find that most people have just normalized abusive behavior so much that you don't even realize, you don't even recognize that what you're experiencing is abuse or what you may be doing yourself is actually abusive to others. And so if you, and the thing about, well, you know, I have this discussion with my sister a lot because she's like, well, why does it matter if you call it abuse or not?

You know, it's like you're experiencing problems, you're unhappy, so you know there's something you have to do to correct the situation and make things better. I'm like, but it does make a difference because like when I realized that what I was experiencing was abuse, it immediately, what it did is like it allowed me to be like, hey, this is not okay and I'm not going to tolerate this. And I have a right to protect myself from abuse because everyone agrees that abuse is wrong.

Abuse is not allowed. Abuse is immoral and unethical, right?

And it happens all the time worldwide.

Right. Right. Exactly.

And the reason so much of it just goes on a counter, like there's no accountability, there's no correction around it is because, again, people, I think, don't realize and recognize abuse as abuse and they're not willing to call abuse, abuse. And so then you cannot, you know, it's like you just kind of end up creating unnecessary troubles for yourself when you're not willing to recognize abuse and call it for what it is.

Yeah, and one of the biggest things that I've taken away from a lot of my experiences, and it wasn't just from that marriage, but two subsequent relationships that I had after that marriage is my focus. And what I like to do in my coaching business, the Magnetic Soul Healing, is take women that are feeling, that could be feeling inferior, that are not connected with their divine feminine, their divine femininity and stressed. And so, you know, but also that have a desire to expand and to grow and to be more than a divine feminine energy is my focus.

And when someone is relentlessly focused on something, there's distractions and other things don't get in the way. So we're focused so much on exclusively that, we make our entire mind and our entire life about that situation. It's like we're putting that situation above God.

It's just showing how our energy is within ourself. Like every experience that we get in life is because of our energy and what we feel about ourselves and what we allow into our lives. And it looks different everywhere in the world.

There's some places where it's a little bit easier to leave an abusive relationship. And there's other places in the world where it's actually very dangerous to do that. And it looks different for everyone throughout the world, but the number one thing is connecting with God and connecting with our soul and realizing that our individual soul is good and that there's nothing wrong with us.

There's nothing wrong with us individually. And it's important that we all have an individual inner transformation in which we know how to be emotionally independent and that we can manage what's going on inside of us, regardless of what's going on outside. And that's what I like to teach with the coaching business, is us connecting with God, us connecting with our emotions as women and focusing our energy on ourselves.

Because when we're in our divine feminine energy, things just come to us. We don't have to do very much. We get served more without even saying words.

We're like a cat. Women are supposed to be like cats. We just observe.

We don't worry about anything. Everything's just given to us.

Indeed, indeed. You know, you are reminding me of... This is like somebody I've been trying to work with.

I say trying because I've been having limited success in reaching them.

So on the one hand, this person has, um... You know, made a choice to seek healing and seek... They want to be more happy.

They want to have better relationships and so forth. So that's really great. And at the same time, um…

So, so, you know, there's this conscious decision that's been made. But at the same time, this... What I find is that subconsciously, there's still a lot of blocks in terms of this person being able to actually receive love, receive care, receive thanks, receive, just, just receive.

And, and like, from my perspective, it seems to be one of the core blocks in that context is very low self-esteem. And I'm like, whoa, this is actually literally blocking your ability to receive the healing and the love and the happiness that you desire. And the, and, and, and I've been, you know, I mean, there's only so much anyone else can do to give you positive feedback, to sort of motivate you, to have, you know, or hopefully, influence your thinking, to have more positive self-image, to have more positive feelings about yourself and so forth.

But ultimately, you know, no one else can really love you.

It's an internal experience and it comes from within ourselves. And, you know, after my marriage and I didn't do the proper healing, proper healing, per se, and I just kind of rebelled a lot and leaked my energy out with other people and just was careless about who I was seeing. And it was because I was in such a rebellion, because of how many years of abuse I experienced.

And I was just like, I need to just get over this. And I was totally over it. There was something that happened that made me realize that he was, didn't want to be with me.

It was like a complete light switch that turned on. And I just, it was crazy because I was so obsessed with him and I wanted so many things to do with him and to be with him. And he just rejected me so much.

And that second that I took all my attention and energy off him, he became obsessed with me and pursued me like insanely. And that just resulted in something else that, different time, different story. I don't really like talking about it anymore, but it's luckily I'm safe now.

And then I just moved on to another relationship with someone who wasn't truly interested in me. And I was just so focused on them and just the title, the way that we looked outside. And it made me realize I want to be emotionally independent, but why do I feel this way when he acts this way?

Or why do I feel this way when he says this or doesn't say this? Or does this and doesn't do this? And it made me turn deeper to God.

You know, how do I feel fine? How do I feel okay with myself around someone else in a relationship or in a friendship where I'm expecting all of these things? That's the kind of questions I ask myself.

And I'm really grateful that I have a gift of self-reflection. But it's for every single person, so that we can be a peaceful species together, we all individually have to have a revolution within ourselves where we can all be emotionally independent. All the problems that we have in the world, most of them, between humans, are because we do not know how to be emotionally independent and emotionally responsible.

Responsibility is a huge aspect of a lot of our suffering. We all cause all of our suffering. And yes, people will interfere and do inflict harm on each other.

And I think those are the times that it's God-given right to protect ourselves because we're supposed to be kind to each other. We're supposed to respect each other's physical boundaries. And I don't know, I'm just grateful that I have the courage now to stick up for myself and know how to defend myself.

And I just wish for more women to do that. But I know that when we get into alignment with our true self, with God, we experience way less problems in the outside world with other people.

Tell me a little bit more about this. So I'm still thinking about this person that I was giving the example of. So for you, what created that shift?

Or what would you... What are different things, like if you were working with one of your clients and they're having a block in terms of being able to experience that inner revolution because they're still having a lot of self-esteem issues, self-love issues. How might you approach them or recommend that they, you know, sort of snap out of that?

Well, for one thing, as a coach or a suggestion for you, since you're asking, is that realize it's not your responsibility and to not take on that energy because it's easy to take on other people's energy. But just realize it's not your responsibility and it's out of your control. But also, I like to be very transparent.

And this world that we're in, this self-improvement world, this having this image of I'm doing this right, I'm working now, I'm dressing okay, I have the best relationship, I have the best job, I have my life together. It's all a load of crap. It's this, all of these things that we do to prove our worth.

For what? To who? And that's all part of the patriarchal paradigm that we have, which is false.

And we're all born worthy, we're all born good. There's nothing wrong with any of us. We accumulate these life experiences in which we don't know how to grow wisdom from, and we don't know how to focus on the truth of life and the divinity of life, and realize that it's okay to be falling apart.

It's okay to feel a disconnection. It's okay to feel anger, and it's okay to not be good and not have or not feel good. It's okay to not have materialistic stuff that fits our image or anyone else's image for what looks good.

It's all just a load of crap that takes away from our true essence of authenticity as a human being. And it comes down to that's something that it takes in a revolution inside of someone else. But for her specifically, for specific tasks, I would highly suggest practicing a lot of gratitude and begin practicing with an internal gratitude with her cells, with her womb.

And, you know, because a lot of us are unaware of the universe that we have inside of our bodies. You know, we have just like the universe, we're, you know, we're just a floating rock in the middle of space in a galaxy, and there's trillions of galaxies out there. We're just this tiny little speck that that's just our existence and that's it.

But, you know, we're here on this earth. And we have that inside of our body as well.

Yeah.

And and working in medicine and knowing and learning a lot about the body, about biology and seeing different forms of illnesses and injuries and having experienced a lot of different injuries myself and recovering from them has definitely changed my perspective on life. I was actually thinking, what would life be like if I didn't know anything about medicine? And before I knew about medicine, before I knew about biology and about caring more about life, I just was careless.

I didn't care about the world. I did. I did care about the world, but I was so focused on my own little world, which is OK.

But I was I since I was 12, I've had a tremendous amount of pain. I've experienced a tremendous amount of emotional pain. And that happened as soon as I started my period.

And I wasn't living in the best environment that could guide me to living life with more joy. So I did a bunch of things to try to relieve my pain. And I just was ignorant to the deeper things in life because we can focus so much on our pain, but there really is so much more good going on.

So I would just, for her, I would highly suggest meditate daily, maybe twice a day, if they can. And practice a lot of gratitude, get alone time with no distractions of phones or TVs or writing or reading or anything. Just sitting alone.

Yeah. You know, it's interesting. I really appreciate your insights there.

And, you know, like the conclusion I've come to is just what you were saying is to one, first of all, remind myself not to take on the responsibility or have that thinking that I'm responsible because I'm not.

Yeah. And it's easy to get caught in that.

Yes, it is. Like, especially when you are playing this role of being a coach.

And you care about them and you want them to have a transformation. Yeah, it's up to them, though.

Exactly. Up to them. And it's up to God, you know, and to remember that they are going through their process and it'll take time and it'll work itself out in its own good by the grace of God.

But it may not, and that's okay. Not everyone, there's not a lot of people in this world that have a transformation, but there are more people in this world. And I attribute that to social media because there's more access to seeing different things and having different wisdom being taught to them.

Yes, yes. I mean, I think there's always been different ways in which we have had access to learning and wisdom and the teachers that we need. You know, the idea of the teacher shows up when the student is ready.

So, I mean, social media is now a context within which we are able to access learning, in ways that we couldn't before. But certainly, I think that God never puts us in a situation where there's no solution, where there's no path forward, where we cannot learn what we need to learn. It's just a question of, you know, there's, depending on the physical constraints that we're surrounded by, our own mental, emotional constraints that we're surrounded by, the solutions, the teachers, they end up looking very different.

Even you mentioned us being like cats as women, it actually made me think about a book. I don't know if you had that book in mind, by any chance, but it was written by a Holocaust survivor. And if I'm remembering the title of the book correctly, it says, it was How My Cat Saved My Life.

I haven't heard of it or read it, but I'll have to look it up.

I can't remember the name of the author, but this book, the essence of it was that, you know, this person, their Holocaust survivor, I mean, I don't think they're alive anymore, but, you know, as you can imagine, they experienced a tremendous trauma. And even after the war was over and they were theoretically physically safe, you know, there was a lot of trauma that they were dealing with. And in this book, they talk about how, by observing their cat, they learned about, you know, how to be happy again.

Basically, by being more in the moment, just enjoying simple things like the sunlight, you know, coming on your face and just soaking that in. And, you know, that kind of thing. And it was even just like the title of the book, just once I heard about it, it just stuck with me and it's just such a profound lesson.

Very, it very much is, yeah. And I think that disability and trauma, they have their place, you know. Not everyone learns from the life lessons that they get.

It's not what we experience, it's how we respond or react to what we experience. And there are a lot of people in this world who experience war and their own physical traumas and violations. But there's a lot of people, there's more people who don't.

And I have experienced breaking a lot of bones, I've been crushed by in a car twice, I've been raped multiple times in my life, I have been abused, I've been thrown across a room. These are just stories of experiences that I've had. And it's easier for me to talk about them now, because I'm not so attached to that experience, but they are things that I experienced.

And they were some of my biggest teachers as to connecting more with God and how to enjoy life more, because we experience these things, they happen in a second. They usually don't, they're not, they don't last very long a lot of times. They always have an ending to it.

But they're very brief moments in time, and yet we spend years and years stuck in them.

Yeah.

Um, and I'm just, simple terms, I'm, I, you know, it sucked, it sucked. You know, I didn't, I didn't like experiencing them, but I'm grateful for them. I'm in my dance studio right now, or the dance studio I get to teach at.

There's a train track right behind it, so. And what I like to do when the train passes by, which is pretty frequent, is I do this to my best, is give the train whatever uncomfortable feeling or thought that I'm having to put it on the train and let it take away. Anyways, having an experience being disabled, losing all my physical capabilities, you know, it rattles you.

Yeah.

And I get to take care of a lot of people who experience the same thing, too. I recently took care of a young man who was in his just 30, and he was in a motorcycle accident. He broke all of his limbs.

You know, handsome young man had a really prime job, you know, stud, you know, had his life all together, and then just snap, take it out. You can't walk for another two years. And it's like these, when we experience those difficult times, we can turn more toward darkness, which is okay, but God wants us to turn, and our body and life wants us to turn more towards the light, which is looking at, how do I be present?

How do I enjoy this moment? So no matter what happens in life, because a lot of things in this life are out of our control.

Yeah.

How do I experience more joy in this moment? Because we don't even own our own bodies.

Yeah. No, it's so true and like for me, I am so glad that you keep reminding us about God and turning to God and depending on God, because I know like for me, before I increased my dependence on God, I was like really obsessed with trying to control everything for myself, so that because that is what made me feel more safe. But there was so much that was out of my control, that no matter how much I tried to control things, there was still just too much out of my control.

And even what I was able to control created so much stress, because trying to control things so you can be safe, it's like such a huge burden and responsibility that you take on and it's just so... I mean, it's like also basically fighting a losing battle because there's again just so much that is just out of our control. Even our bodies in so many ways are out of our control.

And so it's such a difficult, difficult thing like if you are faced with a challenge and you hold yourself responsible for your safety and all of that, it's just too much. And so shifting that responsibility away from myself and being like, God, you take care of it.

It's really, I mean, I don't even say helpful, but in some ways, I'm coming to recognize that it's actually necessary for us. If we are going to truly be able to be our most happy, peaceful self.

Is surrender to a higher power? Yeah. And it's okay if we're not happy and peaceful.

You know, it kind of, it sucks and it may suck for other people too, but it's everything in life does not have to be difficult, though we make it, because we're psychological nutcases as humans. We have a worldwide jacked up psychology within all of us. And I still do too.

I still suffer, I still struggle, even though I have found a different way. There still are a lot of moments that I still experience a lot of suffering, but there's still more moments that I get to experience joy and a connection with life and with nature and with God and with other people.

Yeah.

I don't know how we can be free in this world when we care about other people, when there's so much other suffering going on, when we're connecting with that suffering. You know, someone who's starving usually cannot help someone else eat. Someone who is desperately poor financially usually cannot help someone who is trying to make more money and build the business.

And someone who is has broken bones cannot help someone else heal from their broken bones either. I mean, you could be your companion with someone else or you can have companions, of course. But the focus of the suffering, it's there.

But to improve the worldwide suffering, we can start within ourselves and start with kindness and love for ourselves and having that kindness and love for other people instead of reactions and fighting. And lightening up a lot and stop trying to solve everything and fix everything the way things are supposed to be, they shouldn't be like this or things need to look differently. Because life is perfect as it is.

And when we connect with that divine truth, because God says we're on heaven, which is true, and we've made it to hell as human beings. And we make things so complicated. And it's our focus.

And I'm not, you know, I'm still learning. I'm still learning on this. I'm on this journey myself.

Though I have found ways to independently be happy and give myself grace one of those times that I don't, where I'm feeling down and I'm feeling negative. Because I still experience that. You know, I work and I see a lot of different forms of suffering.

I work full time, three to four days a week. Each shift is like 12 to 15 hours. And I go out in this world and a lot of people are just complaining.

A lot of people's focus is on what's not working. This is not feeling good. This is hurting, yada, yada, yada.

It's like a whole list of so many things that we can complain about. But there is not enough long list about what is good, and what is working, and what's in our favor. You know, we have all of these stories and experiences of pain and suffering and trauma, which are completely valid.

And we show that as that's our way of transformation, and that's okay. But there is even in those moments of trauma, even in those moments of being torn down, we still had so many things in our favor. And that is not only within ourselves and in ourselves, but God within us.

Like who gives us that breath of life within ourselves? Who gives us ourselves those directions? Who gives our heartbeat that direction?

And we, you know, we scientifically can prove, you know, the medulla oblongata, the certain points of, you know, the corpus coosum, the certain portions of the brain, which has to do with our memory and autonomic functions that we have. But who gives that direction? And that's the direction from life, from God, which is a divine source.

And we have all of the suffering in this world, and it's a natural thing that we have to realize that it is natural when we're on this earth until everyone is free of attachment and free of expectation and divinely connected to a higher source and is loving with themselves 100% and with other people unconditionally. Then we're always going to have suffering. It's just a part of life.

But to help that is to have more times in unconditional joy. And it's like, how do we get to there from where we're at, if we're in such a low point? We have to start wherever we're at.

We have to start little. We have to take care of ourselves. And we have to, you know, there's people, a lot of people in this world who need to be taken care of as well.

We need to know how to be kind to each other. Because there's moments, you know, it's like, it part of the things that I talk about in my personal life that has happened, that I've experienced in the past of being disabled. You know, I couldn't walk, I couldn't take care of myself.

And the best thing about that was, was that I was not attached, and I wasn't even focused on the injuries. Because I had a head injury too, so I was in La La Land. I was in a completely different land.

And then I had so many things come to me. It was because I wasn't a complete divine feminine energy. Because when we fully surrender and we're not thinking about anything, we think way too much.

And I say that because I think way too much, too. But when we don't think very much, and we're not so focused on controlling all these things and making things all these certain ways, then stuff just changes. Stuff just comes to us easily, just like the book that you're talking about.

How I learned from my cat.

How my cat saved my life.

How my cat saved my life, yeah. It's just like being a cat. But we're humans.

And this is just, I don't really like saying this is the way it is. Cause it's not this superficial, surface level kind of thing. There's so much beauty and divinity and loveliness behind every single thing.

Though we have our senses and we're just like, oh, I can't see it. I can't feel it or whatever. It's a practice that takes, it's a practice that takes time with our understanding of time as humans, with God and our focus on God.

Yes.

These are things I know, but I don't do this all the time. I do this to the best of my ability with all of the things that I do in my life.

Yes. I mean, that's true for all of us, right? We're all works in progress.

And that's a good thing because if you were completely enlightened, completely evolved, I mean, I think the purpose of our lives would be done and we wouldn't be alive anymore.

Yeah. And I believe...

And you're not on this earth.

I know. I believe that we all reach enlightenment when we die. I believe that we die because we, at the end, we all just become enlightened and the enlightenment is just too powerful for us to experience.

So then we're just like, let's go to the other side now.

You know, you said this a little bit earlier, and I wanted to hear more from you about this idea. You had said, I'm going to have to paraphrase a little bit, but you were saying something about, you know, when we are so focused on our own suffering, our pain, our trauma, then actually we are not focusing on God, or we have turned our focus away from God. And I think that is so true.

And I want you to tell us a little bit, talk to us a little bit more about this idea of being more focused on God, as opposed to our own pain and suffering. What's that about? What that allows?

Um, yeah.

Yeah, thank you for that question. I love that. Well, it's easier said than done.

How are we going to focus on God if we're actively being raped, if we're actively just got into an accident, if we actively just got our leg cut off, if we're having a, you know, a stroke or we're sick? How do we focus on God in those moments? And we can, but our focus usually is on the present moment in those, but it's focused on the pain, and it's because we have these receptors in our body that are indicating danger.

So it's a biological thing.

I have, I've had chronic pain, I've had pain more than, you know, more than half of my life because of the injuries that I've experienced. And there are times where I can just, it doesn't happen that much anymore where I focus exclusively on my pain, but I have found different ways to connect with that pain because it's signaling me to connect with my body in a different way instead of pushing it harder and just carelessly dealing with it or handling it. And it's also my body telling me to rest.

So it's easier said than done.

And it's helpful to be alone sometimes and meditating. Learning to clear the mind, learning to empty the trash can that we've thrown so much crap in, which is our body. We're like walking trash cans as human beings.

We put all this crap in our body, food, what we talk about, what we look at, the news, the trauma going on in the world, and then we don't empty it out. We have to find ways to release our mind from those attachments and those memories. You know, I brought up some traumatic things that not a lot of people experience.

You know, it's like, how do we find God amongst war? There's a lot of places in this world that are going through war, which is unnecessary. It's why do we fight?

And it's because this world isn't a patriarchal system with men running it, men don't know what they're doing. It's supposed to be a divine feminine force that rules this world. But this is just the way it is right now.

And how do we connect with that in those times? Easier said than done, it looks different for every single person. But when our focus is so strong on God, we don't see, we don't feel, we don't hear anything else going on around us.

You can be in a room and not even be there. You can physically be in a room, but you see something else because of your focus. There's a lot of people that have diagnoses of ADHD and ADD, whatever.

We all have imaginations as human beings. We can take ourselves out of any situation with our mind. Easier said than done.

But if we have a simple trauma, a simple insecurity or problem, and I say simple because personally and professionally, I don't think, I believe that a lot of our problems are not that big of a deal and they're self-created. We create all of our problems. And if you don't have a wound open in your chest or your stomach or wherever in your body, I think everything's fine.

You don't have any extra holes in your body that you weren't born with, I think everything's fine. And that's something that we forget is just like most of us in the world have a perfect life. And because of how we have been training to use our minds, we don't see that.

So it's really learning how to retrain your mind.

Yeah.

And it's like, oh, we're in a relationship. It's like, oh, he said this or he looked at another woman. And I'm so distraught about that.

It's understandable, but that's completely us leaking away our true divine feminine energy. That's not what Cleopatra or any other woman who was just in their divine feminine or any cat would even care about. They're just like, whatever.

They don't care. It's in the moments. I'm just trying to find ways to answer your question a little bit more clear.

Yeah. I love the examples you're giving. Because you're so, it's like, it's the, especially when you mentioned about having chronic pain and dealing with chronic pain.

It made me actually think about a podcast I was listening to where they were talking about managing chronic pain and what are the different options that are available for that. And also giving a bit of a history in terms of like the medical approach to dealing with chronic pain and how that has been evolving over time. So they were, in the podcast, they were talking about how at one point after painkillers were discovered, you know, and before people realized how they could harm us, there was this time where doctors were like, yeah, here you go, here's the prescription.

Take the painkiller medicine, you don't have to bear pain. Why should you bear pain? Just take the medicine and you'll be good to go.

But now that we have realized that you actually end up doing a lot of harm to your body by trying to suppress all that pain, now they're like, okay, well, we have to figure out then different ways to deal with it, to respond to it, especially when it's chronic. And so that is in that context, they started talking about this idea of pain management and talking about how you might just have to accept the reality that you're going to be in pain for the rest of your life. But the pain doesn't have to control your life.

It doesn't have to control you. And there are ways you can learn to live with it. And I mean, in terms of like the ways that you can learn to live with it, they were talking about different strategies.

But it made me think about this one story also of a person who was living in the US. And their testimony was recorded by these researchers who were doing research, happiness research. So they went all around the world, interviewing the happiest people.

And a lot of how they found these people were by asking, hey, who do you know? Who's like really, really happy? Or who's the happiest person you know?

And so in any case, they found the among others, they found this one person who lived with chronic pain. And this person said that as long as they maintained a gratitude attitude, they didn't experience pain. But when they let that slip away from them, they started to feel the pain in their body.

And so this person said, I'm so actually grateful for having this condition because it makes me so motivated to stay in gratitude. And there's nothing better than staying in that mindset of gratitude.

Yeah, very true. Yeah, there's times where I will pray to take away my pain, and it happens. There's…

Our bodies refurbish themselves all the time, and that's why I like to talk about connecting with our cells and our tissue, because our cells cure everything that we think and say and what we feel. And if we're so focused on the negative aspects of what could possibly happen or what we're actually experiencing, then we're just going to continue to create that reality. This is, you know, I've done through my metaphysical studies.

I'm in my third year of PhD of metaphysics, metaphysical sciences. I'm like, what is it called again? And there's a deeper thing with our bodies than in what we believe and what is commonly known.

You know, we're just, we are little humans. We're very fragile yet we're very strong. So we can create a different physical experience with our mind and how we create our reality, which is how we attend our mind, how we use our mind.

There is this really amazing book by Dr. Jewel Pookrum. I think that's her last name called A Loving Message. I'm trying to remember the book's name.

I'll have to look it up. I'll send it to you so that you can put it in the notes. It's such an amazing book in it.

It may be too woo-wah for a lot of people, but she is an actual MD. She is connected with Western medicine and the divine forces that we have as human beings within ourselves that God gave us.

Yeah, there's a different approach to medicine, to our body's needs. But I always advocate, if you have an injury, you have a broken bone, you get into a car accident or, you know, something happens immediately, just go to the hospital. Or we can just let nature take place, just like animals do, just go back to the divine source, which is fine.

A lot of people are like, oh, we need a body to be physically alive when the person's spirit is gone. It's like, anyways, that's just my little frustrations within Western medicine, just families and people don't realize that when someone's brain dead and their heart's still beating, that they're not going to wake up.

Yeah.

Anyways, but Dr. Jewel Pookrum, a beloved message from a beloved message from a doctor, I think it's called, I'll send it to you. But we have divine forces within us, within ourselves, and when we surrender and we go deeper, that is more than the surface level, then we have divine healings. Again, I've been in two very serious car accidents, in the second car accident I was in, I died.

I was brought back to life. I had a very severe traumatic brain injury. I had a spinal cord injury.

I broke my entire pelvic girdle, my ribs, a lot of bones on the left side of my body. I was crushed on the left side.

And I healed for the brain injury pretty quickly. I'm very different since then, of course. I have an amazing memory though.

I've had a really amazing recovery from that. But I healed within two months of all of those injuries. And it was because I was forced to be in a surrender in a feminine state.

And it's because I didn't question anything. Didn't think about anything about being, you know, the changes that happened to my body. I didn't have any thoughts.

Yeah.

So, that's just my own personal experience of having a divine intervention with physical injuries. Yeah. An amazing recovery.

Yes. It's like that surrender piece is like when we are actually allowing the divine. I mean, like, you know, my perspective that I've come to is that the divine is always there wanting to help us.

Yes.

I'm here. Here's the help you need. Take it.

And we're like, no, we're too busy with ourselves. But when we surrender or we're forced to surrender, we can only receive the help. Take it away.

Take it away, Trin. Whatever it is that we're holding on to, that is not helpful for us.

Yeah. It's, you know, who knows? I don't even know.

These are, I'm just a little human being that it's just, these are the experiences I've had. I've had a lot of divine interventions, but yet I still can get caught up in the psychological trauma of being a human being.

Yes.

It's okay.

Part of our life.

But I have a lot more fulfilling life that is, I've broken a lot of family curses. I've broken a lot of family habits. And I haven't continued a lot of things that were within my own family and my own personal life that caused a lot of pain.

Yeah.

And you know, the most important thing is starting with children and starting from being born.

Yes.

Instead of training children to not be themselves, allow them to be themselves. That is where our true freedom will continue with the next generations, is when we allow our children to be their true selves, instead of following these social paradigms that aren't even true.

Yeah.

And it looks different for everyone.

It's true. Oh my gosh. Jesseca, you just keep bringing up things that I want to keep digging deeper into.

And this whole thing about children, it's something that's really, really close to my heart right now, because I have nieces and nephews, and I'm as involved as I can be in trying to help my brothers and sisters take care of them. And I mean, it's just, I just love them so much.

And you can't not love these innocent little cutie pie, especially with it. Like the smaller they are, the younger they are.

But as they grow up, and they begin to be more challenging, you know, in terms of like, they challenge you. They're like, yeah, I don't want to do what you're telling me to do. So then our own impulses to control them surface because we, yeah, don't, it's not, and when that impulse comes up, it's not always about doing what's best for them.

It's about making life more easy for us. And so that impulse of, you know, control that child. So it's easier for me, the adult, to deal with them.

That is something that I have been really grappling with. Both myself and my brothers and sisters, watching them.

Yeah, no, it's like a flip a switch. Honestly, I used to be a nanny, and you know, I have a couple nephews and nieces as well. I don't really get to see them very much.

But my dog, she had a litter of 11 puppies, and they're not children, but they're still this mischievous little rascals. But it's just like, no, there's like a switch that just seems like psychologically, I've experienced that extreme instant switch when they're doing something. And it's, you know, I'm not a parent, and I'm grateful for that because, you know, my spiritual growth and change has only happened in the last, like, two or three years of my life.

And if I would have had a child, then I would have just jacked them up and messed them up. And I'm grateful that, you know, it's like I have these wisdoms and this freedom to focus on different things. Even though children are great, I don't know if I want to continue with that.

If God wants me to, then He will make it happen. But yeah, it's like how do we just let our children be themselves? It can be complicated.

We don't have to make it complicated. I think it's very important that we learn how to be playful and that we stop trying to talk about all these serious adult stuff and business stuff. And I know we have responsibilities as adults, and we get to work, and we have to pay all these bills, which is not even the truth to life.

But we're in it, and we're in this world. That's the way it is right now. And we have to find a way to experience it with more joy and more playfulness and not taking things so personal.

And if you look at the children are the best example. So are dogs, because look at their focus. They're so loving, they're usually unconditional, and they're usually focused on play and joy and laughter and fun.

And it's so important, especially as adults, to lighten up and to just be more playful, have more fun. Stop having all these damn serious conversations. It's so annoying.

I can't stand it. It's just like a lot of... In the hospital, you know, it's like I care for a lot of a big variety of different people.

The hospital I work at, we're contracted with the prisons in Arizona. And so half the patients are prisoners and half the patients are civilians. So I have a wide variety of humans that I care for.

And excuse me, something popped up. I have like 5% left, but it will be enough to get through. A lot of people's focus is like on the medical aspect.

Oh, what are they gonna wake up? What is this gonna happen? It's like chill out.

You need God right now. You don't need your questions answered. You know nothing about the body or medicine to begin with.

Why don't you try to educate yourself on human physiology and anatomy before trying to understand all this crap? Because all these questions are not gonna get to the solution. It's just causing stress on the patient and me and the whole team.

It's like, of course, I hope I'm not coming off as an unloving person or unloving nurse. But you know, it's just what I see with a lot of people. They're in a place where they have no control, so they're freaking out and they try to control these things.

And I'm like, just chill out and just be present with them. Just relax. This is life.

This is natural. It's natural for us to get injuries. It sucks, but it's natural for us to get sick.

It's natural for us to die. And we have to stop trying to control that and fix it. It happens.

We're in a world with all kinds of stuff. Trees fall. We have all these buildings.

We have cars. We have psychologically messed up people in this world, all over the world. And we're violent as humans.

And we're crazy. And it's natural. It sucks, but it's natural.

That's just the way it is in this world. And we just have to learn to deal with it with more grace. And that is to lighten up, stop taking things so seriously, and laughing and making jokes.

Yes. Oh, thank you for that, Jesseca. And I will force myself not to...

You know, it's......been asking you more questions.

Easier said than done. But it's just, we have to pass grace for ourselves when we make these mistakes.

Yes.

You know, and when we lose our patience, and we don't... because we are, we're always changing as humans. Are we all have different physiologic states inside of us.

Our body has a lot of... We need a lot of services as humans. We need to eat, we need to sleep, and we need to do all these things.

And we're in a modern time that is taking a lot of us out of our true essence of as a human being.

Yes.

But we just have to, we don't have to do anything for one thing. Self-improvement is just, it's completely unnecessary because God sees us as good enough no matter what. And when we start seeing ourselves as good enough and worthy enough, things just naturally change.

And when we lighten up, and we're just present, and we laugh more, easier said than done with all those things. There's different experiences. There's this, do you know what a telenovela is?

It's like a Mexican soap opera. There's this one called La Rosa De Guadalupe. It's, I haven't watched it in a while, but I used to watch it all the time when I was younger.

And I loved it so much because it's Catholic based, you know, and it talks about the Virgin Mary and how it presents really intense, very sad human experiences where there's like molestation, there's war, there's, you know, violence. That's very difficult to, you know, experience. There's some, something terrible, you know, is happening to someone.

And it shows how the Virgin Mary comes in, inspires people to heal and forgive. And it shows how they like, you know, how when they surrender to God, this white rose will appear and then they're free. They don't have that painting.

And it's such, I love the show so much. I don't know, I've been watching a while, but this is one of my favorite pastime shows. And it just teaches us ways to surrender to these difficult life experiences.

Yes.

Thank you so much for that, Cher, Jesseca. We're unfortunately, we have to wrap up because your laptop-

Not unfortunate, it's okay. We can always come back another time. I mean, I've always worked on my platform and how I present myself.

I know I can be really intense and pretty in people's face, which is okay.

I love it, I love it.

I think there's a softer way of-

No, never cheat yourself. You are so loving and lovable just as you are.

So are you. So is, we all are, but we can also make people and make ourselves not.

Okay, so with the hope and we will make it happen, we will bring Jesseca back and we'll keep learning with her. But in the meantime, yes. And in the meantime, until we connect back on this show, please check the show notes because we will drop Jesseca's links in there so you can continue to get to know her better and learn with her and from her.

And until we connect next time, I just wish you lots and lots of joy.

Thank you so much. Yeah, thank you so much, Samia. It was so amazing.

You inviting me on here and having me as a guest. I appreciate it. I really hope that we connect again.

I would love to do another podcast with you.

Yes, absolutely. We will come back.

Okay. Thank you so much.