Radical Responsibility: How to go from Rock Bottom to Rising Star.

Radical Responsibility:
How to go from Rock Bottom to Rising Star.
Amy Woods & Samia Bano

You or a loved one hit #rockbottom? Want to know how to go from rock bottom to #RisingStar?

Listen now to this interview with Amy Woods, Transformational Mindset Speaker.

From trauma and addiction to thriving entrepreneur, Amy shares how taking #radicalresponsibility of her life after losing everything—including her children and her home — became the catalyst for building a future she never imagined, and you can too!

Learn:

-- How you can #stepforward with intention—even while scared

-- How you can #TakeResponsibility for yourself without taking the blame for trauma

-- How to become aware of your judgment patterns and redirect them toward kindness and clarity

-- How you can #bethelight that has a ripple effect that inspires and uplifts communities!

-- And so much more!

NOTE: Amy now hosts events under the powerful title “I Am What’s Possible.” This episode challenges you to see the same possibility in yourself.

Check out the details about the next “I Am What’s Possible” event at: https://www.iamwhatspossibleconference.com/

You can also connect and learn more about Amy at: https://www.womenchoosingexcellence.com/

To Book your Free HAPPINESS 101 EXPLORATION CALL with Samia, click: https://my.timetrade.com/book/JX9XJ

#TransformationJourney #OvercomingFear #MentalHealthAwareness #FromRockBottomToSuccess #HealingJourney #MindsetMatters #EmotionalResilience #SelfEmpowerment #PositiveMindset #CollectiveHealing #ReceiveSupport #MakeADifference #mindsetmotivation #takeresponsibilityforyouractions #takeresponsibilityforyourlife #IAMPOSSIBLE #liveyourbestlife

Here's the audio version of this episode:

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Full Video Transcript

SAMIA: Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, Privet, Mabuhay, and Dzień Dobry! It's so good to be with you again. And I know you'll be so happy if you've joined us because we have a very cool guest with us today and it's Amy Woods, who is a Transformational Mindset Speaker. That is so cool. Welcome, Amy…

AMY: Thank you. Thank you for having me. I loved all the hellos…

SAMIA: Yay! We love having this, too. But I love having you with me right now, and I know our audience will, too, once they get a chance to hear you out. So without any further a do, Amy, please tell us more about who you are and what you do.

AMY: So I am Amy Woods, obviously. Like Samia said, I'm from Knoxville, Tennessee, in the United States, and I am a Transformational Mindset Speaker, which means I help people find their inner power… what they want to do, you know, whether that's relationship-wise, career-wise, business-wise. And I help them map that out without fear. I help them deal with the fears of change because you can't transform without change. And a lot of people are like, but I don't want to change. You have... Things are changing every day. You embrace it every day. So when it comes to the big things, I help people step into their power to see they already have the ability to do so, and that fear is just trying to keep them safe and in a comfortable position of what they know at the moment. So as soon as you start to make those changes, that you have this clean slate that you get to build upon and put whatever you want there… So I hope people see that. I also help with teaching leaders how to be a more connected leader using their imagination and creativity. Because if you're tapped into your own imagination and creative forces, you have a more intimate relationship with the people that you are leading, and they are better relationships and better communication happens because of that.

SAMIA: I love both of those aspects of your work. They're both so important. Oh, gosh. How did you get into it? What, like, has been your journey like…

AMY: Oh, okay... My journey. It's been a rough one up until I chose to make it not rough. I fully believe even though, you know, we like to blame outside forces for things that have happened to us, like my parents did this, my parents did that, or my ex-husband or, you know, my friends or whoever it was. And the truth is we have to take radical responsibility for the life we actively participated in. So the reason why I realized this was because after my divorce, I actually ended up homeless. And through being homeless, while I was homeless, I was sued for full custody of my kids. And I lost my children in the middle of all of that. I had no money to fight for them. And knowing that they would be alienated from me because of the family history on the other side, I still had to choose to allow them to go live there before the custody battle even came up because I wouldn't take them into homelessness. And afterwards, I mean, I wasn't a big partier or anything like that. Afterwards, I started drinking really heavily because I didn't know how to deal with losing my kids. My kids were my whole world. I was the sports mom. I was active in their life. We were in church. I mean, their friends always came over. You know, we helped other kids in the community. But I was that mom, you know, who's… I helped raise their friends almost because their friends were always at our house. And I never said I had just two kids. I had a whole neighborhood of kids, you know, that they were my kids. So that devastation of not having my kids with me, I didn't know how to grieve it. I didn't know how to let that go. So I started drinking and I drank for two years very heavily. I couldn't make it through the night sleeping without drinking. I had seizures from it and ultimately led me to… just in my mind, because it was so sopped up with alcohol… I thought, well, nobody can tell me not to take my own life or not tell me how to and how to leave this world. So my now husband, which we had started dating when we were both in the trenches of grief, he had lost his wife suddenly, and nobody teaches you how to deal with that either, you know. They were married for 38 years, but we got together and I remember he left to go to the store. Well, I don't remember. This is what he told me. Apparently, there was a full half gallon of whiskey when he left. And when he come back, I was holding on to it. I had drank the whole thing, and I had a gun in my mouth ready to shoot. And he tackled the gun out of me, got that away from me before I did. And I woke up four days later in the hospital. And from there, you know, I wanted to blame everything on everybody else. And the truth is, I allowed the relationship to happen before with my ex-husband. And I didn't see that just in an instant, you know… maybe I should talk about what happened first while I was at the hospital. Somebody had told me the nurse come in and asked me, "How did you get to this point? What happened in your life to make you want to do this?” And at the time, I was still so mad because even the choice to take my own life and how I did it, how I wanted to exit, did not happen. So I was so mad. And it's so ridiculous. It sounds so ridiculous, but that's how I felt at the time. She goes, “okay, well, that didn't work. So what are you gonna do now?” I go, what do you mean? What am I gonna do now? I don't have a car. I don't have a job. I have no money. I have no home. My kids are gone. She goes, “exactly, you have this clean slate that you get to build upon and put whatever you want there”. She goes, “it's up to you to choose what you put there”. So I was like, nobody's ever asked me what I wanted before. You know, in my entire life, nobody's ever asked me, "What do you want?" What do you want to choose to build your life into? It was always, I was always told what to do. I was always told, you know, or if I wanted to do, I was controlled a lot. And money controlling, you know, money was used to control me a lot. And fear, other people's fears were meant, you know, controlled me a lot, even like back in my childhood and stuff like that. So in that moment, I'm like, what do I want to do? I had to really sit and think about what I wanted to do. And that's when I realized, oh my gosh, I've been an active participant in my whole life, even with my, you know, what happened when I was with my parents. I chose to take on their way of doing things. I chose to take how they did things, even though I knew in my heart of hearts what they… how they felt and what they did wasn't right. I still brought that forward with me. I chose my ex-husband because, oh, well, this is better than what I'm used to, you know? So I chose to marry young. I chose to marry knowing it wasn't gonna last. Knowing I wasn't fully committed into it. And then I chose to leave and not protect myself the way I should have because I just wanted out. I just wanted out. I jumped the gun. I went, I did it. And I think when we, you know, come from a life of that's chaotic, you're in that fight and flight mode all the time. So when you make a decision, you're just like, okay, I'm gone. And you don't think it through. And it's something that, you know, you have to unlearn, and it's something you have to recondition yourself on how you do. But I was still an active participant, and that radical responsibility is what's led me to where I'm at now. I took radical responsibility moving forward and said, I am not putting anything on this clean slate that does not empower me, that does not satisfy me, that does not fulfill me, or bring me happiness. And that's what I started to do. And I'm a big nerd. I love researching off-the-wall things. I love looking into the weirdest things that nobody would look at. So I went to college right away. I didn't have a plan on how. I just knew I had to do something. I had to fulfill my brain and make sure I could kind of reprogram it a little bit, especially from all the intoxication from the alcohol, and restimulate it and let it heal itself. And that's what led me to starting my own business and then another business. And now I own four businesses. And the truth is, this was all only eight years ago. So now I'm hosting events. I'm doing one that said that's “I am what's possible”. That's the title of it. And it's because I want people to understand it doesn't matter where you come from. If you take radical responsibility from this moment forward and decide what you're gonna put on your plate, I mean, you have a choice even with eating. You know, you can either fill it with sugar and carbs, or you can fill it with good food and you're going to have the outcome of what happens with sugar and carbs, or you're going to have the outcome of what happens with good food. And that's the same thing with your life. And that's how I've come to where I'm at.

SAMIA: Thank you so much for sharing that part of your journey and your story with us, Amy. It's so meaningful and helpful to know where you're coming from. Because, you know, a lot of us, we can be talking about, oh, do this, do that. But there's for the listener, oftentimes, you know, like when I would listen to people saying things that at one level sounded inspirational and good, but there would be another part of me that would be questioning, I don't know, like, do you really know what I've, you know, like, what I'm been through or what I'm going through? And I mean, in my situation, my grief, my trauma, does this really apply? And so for me, it has been really important… like, some of the most, like, especially in the early years of my healing journey, like, the teachers that most impacted me were the ones I connected with them, first of all, and I was willing to listen to them because they shared something of their own trauma, their own pain that I could relate to. And I was like, oh, oh, and you were able to overcome that. If you can do it, then maybe I can do it, too. It was just, you know, that it gave me some hope…

AMY: Yes.

SAMIA: …you know, and some context for that hope. Because when you are sometimes in your really dark places, it just, like, you know, I mean, like what you even said about, like you know, you would sometimes just act and not think things through… I think even that's a blessing in a way, because, you know, like, I... Yeah… You know, because I have been in situations where, like, I would overthink and I would paralyze myself into inaction because I didn't have a plan, because I felt like I didn't have enough information. I didn't have enough knowledge. I didn't have enough this or that…

AMY: Yeah.

SAMIA: So sometimes just, you know, having that mindset of, no, you know what? I'm just gonna do it even if I don't know what I'm doing or how I'm gonna make it happen. Even that can be a huge blessing…

AMY: It does. And, you know, sometimes I think when for a good thing. Like when I started hosting, you know, putting this event together, I have no idea how to put a big event together. I've been learning as I go. I just knew in my mind and in my heart this was something I wanted to do to be able to help others. And, you know, I just, I know I have a voice and I can ask people what did you do? Or, you know, if I would connect with other companies. How does the sponsorship work? How does media work? How do I do this? And people want to help, you know, you just... But they don't know you exist unless you talk to them and, you know, ask for their help. And I'm not putting this event together all by myself, you know, because of that, this has been a journey of everybody contributing. But I would have never have done it, if I would have waited to get all my ducks in a row, per se. You know that saying, have your ducks in a row? I would have never done it, if I would have waited for that, because my ducks are never in a row. They're kind of floating around everywhere, and we have to corral them together.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. So there is an element of, like. you have to be willing to take some risks and learn.

AMY: You have to trust it.

SAMIA: And at the same time, you were saying that there's some element of, you know, like thinking things through, being prepared. So can you tell me a little bit more? Are you saying there's like some kind of a balance to strike there? And how do you like navigate that?

AMY: There is. So like, you know, when it's something that you know and that you're passionate about that is really scary, maybe it's buying a commercial building to run a business out of. Maybe it's hiring a whole team. Maybe it's moving from, you know, into a different country. Maybe it's moving from one side of the country to the other. If you know in your heart of hearts it's good and it's gonna bring out, you know, something even better for you. You might not know what that outcome is. And I think that's where we get our anxiety is that need to know what that outcome is before we leap. But if you know you have the ability and you trust yourself, you know it's going to be okay and just expect failure. Failure is going to happen, but it's a learning process. And is this event going to be as big as I want? I don't know. I hope it is. But if it fails, I also have a blueprint now for the next one to do it differently, to make it come out better. And you have, I think people look at failure as an ending and it's not, it's a learning process. And if you're really committed to always learning, you know that whatever steps you're taking, it's not going to come out bad or wrong. Now, if it's to protect you, and to make big changes. There's that different type of fear. There's that fear of, will this work? What will people think of me? What, you know, what will my spouse think? What will my friends think? Is, you know, it's, what's gonna change in my life from this? Or there's that fear of, I've got to get out of here. I'm suffocating. I'm dying inside. I'm that jump and leap. When it's like that, you're not really in the mindset to take that risk and jump. Because what you're doing is you're jumping into a desperate situation and desperation cancels manifestation. So when you're jumping and leaping in a way that, okay, yeah, this is a little scary, but it's going to be good. You know, there's that balance there. It, the fight and flight mode, it comes into play when something bad is happening, not so much when it's a good thing. So I encourage people, if you're looking to get out of a situation, take a step back, make a plan, make sure you're safe, first of all, if it's really bad, and then make a plan. So that way when you come out on the other side, you have stepping stones to go with because there's going to be things you're going to have there's an order there that you're going to have to work with in order to start to rebuild yourself and start to navigate whatever it is that you're needing to navigate. So I think knowing the difference in the fears of what's a good fear and what's a fear of safety and even mental safety, emotional, relational.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. That's a really important distinction that you're making. So what is the kind of fear that you're feeling? And then you also, I think, made another distinction, although I'm going to, like, speak it in my own words. So I think what I heard you say. In terms of the planning, you use the word stepping stones. And you were talking about, you know, like how people can freak out because they don't know, like, what the end result of things will be. And so I see another distinction there. So when it comes to the planning, you're not necessarily trying to have a very specific outcome happen for you because you can't necessarily control that. You don't know what will happen as an outcome in the sequence of things, however things go. But in terms of planning, there are certain steps that you can plan. And you may not know all the steps for how you even get to where you ultimately love to get to, but you can have some steps that you can imagine maybe when you were referring earlier about also tapping into our creativity, maybe some of that comes from there, but some of it comes from asking for help, et cetera. Okay. Okay…

AMY: Yeah. Like, you know, with I probably, if I would have planned better, I probably wouldn't have ended up homeless. And, you know, a lot of people were like, yeah, but your husband should have helped you. Your ex-husband should have helped you. Maybe he should have, but I can't put all the blame on him. I'm my own person, and I could have waited. I wasn't in physical danger. I was just, I was tired of being controlled. I knew staying there, my spirit would have died, you know, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, I would have been dead, you know, kind of thing. So what I could have done instead of just taking $900 and leaving to try and start over, I could have looked into women's shelters. I could have looked into where do I need to work at to survive? Where do I need to go to survive? What help is out there for me in this situation? And I probably would have been a little bit better off than just saying, I'm out of here. I'm done, you know? And because I was so desperate to get out of that situation, that's all I thought about. But I also wasn't taught how to navigate that.

SAMIA: Yeah.

AMY: So even that was a learning experience. Yes, I failed hard, but I also truly believe your journey will either blast you open or it will confine you. And I needed to be blasted open in order to get to this point. Your journey is there for a reason, and your journey is about you becoming the person you're supposed to become all the way until we die. And was it a fun part of my journey? No. Would I recommend it to other people? No... But I look at it as a journey, and I wanted to, you know, step back just a little bit because you were talking about how I think we were talking about how the certain steps of... Or no, I was talking about radical responsibility and. I'm sorry, you were talking about how hearing somebody else's story helps you conceptualize seeing yourself in that. And I've had people come to me and we know what I'm talking about, radical responsibility about their journey. Well, how can you say that I was raped? How is that my response? How do I take radical responsibility for that? And I want to say first and foremost, there's real victims. And that's, there's real victimization in certain situations. And even with my ex-husband, that doesn't excuse what he did. Okay? It doesn't excuse the harm he placed. It doesn't excuse the harm he's placed upon our kids. What it does, though, is my radical responsibility was choosing not to stay in that trauma. And that's what I had brought forward. And even as, you know, I've been a victim of rape and molestation and stuff like that, I can take radical responsibility on whether or not I'm going to keep living in that moment or move forward. I can take that responsibility to heal it. I can take that responsibility to let it go and be a part of my past. because right now in this existence, it's not happening to me. So that's kind of how I dealt with, you know, because I heard a lot of comments about that before, and that's how you can still take radical responsibility for yourself. It's not that you're taking responsibility for what happened to you or what other people's choices were. It's where you're, what are you gonna do moving forward? And that's a part of your journey.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. You just reminded me of, it's like a thing or I don't know, who I learned this from. It's a definition of responsibility that was offered where they say, to take responsibility is to recognize that I am response-able, meaning like I'm able to respond.

AMY: Yes.

SAMIA: Whatever the situation I'm in. So it's like you were saying, Amy, this is not about me saying, oh, it's my fault that someone said this to me. Or that this happened to me or whatever. No, there's no actually no blaming, no judging at all in this understanding of responsibility. It is just a wrecking machine. And no matter what's going on in my life or what has gone on in my life, I'm still response able. I'm still able to respond to my situation now and I also found that to be a very empowering understanding of responsibility because I hate feeling blamed and judged. I just, yes. I mean, it's though it feels so, I mean, I don't think there's anyone in the world who really likes feeling blamed and judged.

AMY: No, no. I don't know. Well, maybe some people do if they're like, well, I don't care what they think. You know, I think we just all want to be understood. And when we're judged or blamed, I think we feel misunderstood because in the, at the end of the day, we all I mean, there's kindness in everybody more so than others. But there's kindness in everybody because you can't have hate without love and you can't have love without hate. It's a very close emotion. And even people who don't portray kindness, they have a kind part of them. Otherwise they would be alone in the woods by themselves. People wouldn't want to be around them. So there's an aspect to that. And I totally forgot where I was going with this. Oh, shoot. Oh, being misunderstood. So when people judge us, we totally feel misunderstood. But if we can look at, you know, the fact that we all have some kind of kindness there. You're less likely to judge. You're less likely to feel misunderstood, but nobody likes to feel judged. It's just like, who are you?

SAMIA: Yeah, I know. It is a terrible feeling. And I think that instinct are that we have that, you know, makes us not. want to be, there's something there that's really important for us to actually learn in that. I mean, the thing is that we are so full of blame and judgment ourselves. We blame and judge ourselves, but we also blame and judge other people. And yet we hate it. Like no one I mean, again, I mean, even the people who are like, oh, I don't care what people think. I mean, they're saying that, but do they really, but if you, if they were to really tap into their actual feeling of how they feel. I bet they wouldn't really appreciate, you know, like being blamed and judged either. But what I'm... Okay, so what was I trying to say? I think, you know, I think there's something really important in this realization for us because, you know, as a happiness expert, you know, when I started learning about how to be happy  myself. One of the most critical lessons that my, one of my mentors was actually my first person who I ever coached and trained with in anything to do with personal transformation, mental health, this actress, my happiness expert and mentor. And so she said one of the most important things you have to learn is to develop a non-judgmental mindset, whether it's yourself or towards other people. Because when you are in judgment mode, blaming mode, shaming mode, whether it's towards directed towards yourself or anyone else, you just automatically compromise your happiness.

AMY: Yes.

SAMIA: You just, it's like sometimes, you know, you can be like, oh, I'm having a positive judgment about someone. And so, okay, fine. That may not feel bad in the moment, but it's about the mindset of seeing things in that way of good, bad, right, wrong. Because that mindset itself sort of, you know, sort of it's like when you judge something to be good, okay, maybe you feel good, but there for sure there'll be way more things you're going to end up judging to be bad.

AMY: Yes.

SAMIA: And then you're going to feel bad, you know? And so you if you really want to take control of your happiness and develop a more positive mindset and A happiness-promoting mindset, you have to be willing to let that judgmental mindset go. So there's that practical aspect to why it's so important. But then also like at a spiritual lesson, and this was like a deeper lesson that took me a while to learn and understand is, you know, like at a spiritual level, you know, like you were saying, Amy, there's... Well, I mean, you were talking about how everyone has some kindness in them, but, yes, even beyond that, you know, there's this teaching that there's good in everything that exists.

AMY: Yes.

SAMIA: And so for us to focus on that good, to find that good, to cultivate that good, you know, that is ultimately the most peace-promoting and happiness-promoting thing also for us. And so but is it like, are we turning a blind eye? Are we supposed to stick our head at the stand towards the things that we perceive to be not good or when there's Injustice, when there's oppression? And the answer to that is, no, that's not what we're saying. But it's about understanding, like, that... I mean, actually, before I get into what... How do you understand that? How do you understand that?

AMY: No, I love how you worded that, because, I think there's this misconception that we can turn judgment off. And as human beings, it is our job to actually judge. But hear me out. We judge things for our protection, kind of like fear is there for our protection. What has happened over the years with our human brain, though, is we have taken that judgment and used it in wrong way. So when we, it's like, I love your scarf, you know, or you're wrapped there. It's beautiful. It's a beautiful color. That's a judgment. We do that. Okay. Is this food good to eat? That's a judgment. But when you're, you know, if you tap into the kindness part of side of, you know, your own person, because everybody has kindness, everybody has love, there's creativity, imagination, everybody's is a little bit different for a reason. And that's kind of tapping into that spiritual side also. But if you tap into your kindness when you judge, okay, so what am I seeing here about this person that I don't like? Is it their energy I don't like? So I'm just automatically judging that situation. or is am I picking up on an energy that they might be giving off because of the situation they're going through? Or can I look at them and say, wow, they're really, they're really good looking person and what a beautiful smile it lit up the room. So you have that choice. And I think to train your mindset, you have to be diligent about it. You have to shift that negativity and to bring more of the positivity, you have to be diligent about it because psychologically, our brains are programmed to seek out bad things for our protection. So we automatically judge negatively where you can, and it takes work to even change the thoughts in your head of, oh, I can't do this, or I don't want to do that, or I won't be able to. Just those three words, can't, don't, and won't. We don't realize how many times we say them in a day until you are actively trying to notice them. And that's the same with judging. If you can actively participate that response thing again, are you allowing positivity to come in or negativity to come in all the time? because you don't want to shut fear off. You don't want to shut judging off because it protects you. But you do have a choice to decide, are you going to use it for good or bad? And then, you know, you started to tap into, does that mean I ignore all the bad stuff happening in the world? And how can I be a positive advocate? And one of the sayings that I had because I had thought about that. I'm like, you know, I really don't like seeing the stuff that's happening all the time in the world, you know, wherever we're at right now. How do I shut this off but not be ignorant to it? And the thing is I can choose when I see it, when I become knowledgeable about it, but I also have a choice the saying that I came up with is the only way we change how we are living our lives is by changing the life we are personally living. That is key. And if everybody could come, I mean, it starts here at home. It starts at home. And if you're constantly seeing negative stuff, you're going to be angry, you're going to be sad, you're going to be depressed and anxious. all of that because why wouldn't you be like, we don't know what's going to happen next right now. So how do you change that? Well, you start at home. How can I change things at home? I can create happiness in my home. I can create love in my home. I can create positivity. I can choose when I keep up with the topics. And then I can also choose when to shut it off.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah, there's definitely a lot of wisdom in what you're saying. And it's like when you make that decision to focus on positivity, to start with changing things at home within yourself and within your immediate environment. I think it doesn't stop there. You know, it's sort of like... It actually allows you to then go, go wider and beyond yours, beyond what your current capacity is. You know, it's sort of like you are able to expand your circle of care and concern without becoming overwhelmed and so forth. So it makes me think about you know, like, so some of the things that. I'm trying to navigate or not trying, but am navigating, in my life right now, like, you know, at a personal level, by God's grace, I'm doing really, really well. And the world is full of chaos, you know? And so just like you were saying, Amy, I've been having to sort of manage my awareness of other people's challenges and suffering and pain and where and when I can step in, but also having an awareness of when I need to step back. And to make that decision not based out of fear or selfishness in terms of not caring about the other people, but in terms of having an awareness of my current capacity, what can I do right now that would actually be helpful? Because if I'm taking on responsibility for things that are beyond my current capacity, then I'm actually not going to really be helpful.

AMY: Right.

SAMIA: You know, I mean, then I just be there. I'm just doing things that are adding to the chaos at the very least at a mental, emotional level for everyone because, you know, it's like when there's a bunch of us and we're all feeling overwhelmed and down in our energy, we actually drag each other down.

AMY: Yeah.

SAMIA: Our feelings, our energy, it's infectious. And, you know, and so a bunch of people just talking about everything that's wrong without being able to think about what can we do that's positive? That's, you know, in terms of moving us towards a solution. I mean, to a certain level, it can feel good, like, okay, okay, I have you know, you understand me. I'm, you know, complaining, you know, our voicing our hurt, to some extent, you know, it can be helpful, but it's not a... But we're for a very short time, actually, I think.

AMY: Yes. Yes.

SAMIA: No, you cannot stay in that state very long and continue to find that helpful. It very quickly begins to just, you know, drag you down.

AMY: Absolutely.

SAMIA: Unhelpful way.

AMY: Yeah. And I think that is such a good point, especially with what we see on social media. I think, okay, so I'm going to take some of the storms that have been happening recently here. We've had hurricanes come through and devastated counties. And it was heart-wrenching to watch, you know. Now, can I physically and mentally and emotionally stay in that story with those people all the time? No. Because what good am I going to be to them people? If I am, they don't want to look at it every day. You know, they don't want to hear about it every day. They want to look at somebody doing something good and see somebody that they can reach out to and be like, "Hey, you've got a great energy, you're a positive light. I need to be around you right now to make my situation feel better". Now, what can I do about, I can't control storms, I can't control hurricanes. And, you know, just because I say you fix the, you know, you fix how people are living their life by fixing the life you are personally living. That doesn't mean you're ignorant to what's going on out there. But it starts at home because you can't control people, you can't control storms, you can't control weather, you can't control what's going to happen. You can't control the bad that's going to come up. But what you can do is be the light to other people. You can be that light force and that positive reinforcement and when you're living in that positive way, when these things come up, I was able to have the energy and the ability to go help donate stuff, you know, and take it to them and just give them a hug, you know, that meant the world to them. So you get to pick and choose how you navigate that. And I think if you're constantly in that bad negative energy, you're going to put that energy off into the world. People feel it. But if you're constantly, you know, if you're working on seeing the positive things in life, there's, okay, for instance, there's a big, beautiful tree in my yard. I can look at that as it shades us. It gives the birds and the squirrels a place to live. Or I can say, oh my God, the roots are killing the grass. It's going to fall on our house. It always sheds sticks and you can look at the bad and good of everything. So choosing how you're going to do so is really another responsibility of what you're going to do.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. And I think one of the things that I've had to learn, because I turned into a big control freak, you know, that was one of my big challenges that I had to learn to deal with. so one of the things that I had to learn is again, just learning to focus on what response I'm able to make and then also trusting that I don't have to do everything alone. I don't have to solve all my problems alone. And not only do I not have to do it alone, but that I'm going to receive the help and support that I need. I need the help and support that I need. And sometimes, you know, I would literally, because I was like, so when I was so focused on trying to control everything, help would come to me and I would literally refuse it and block it off and refuse it. And push it away from me because I was like, oh no, oh no, I can't control this person. I can't control that outcome or that what they're wanting me to do. I cannot control everything that I want to control about what they are, how they want to help me. So I'm going to just, no, no, you know, and so that was the other thing is that, you know, when we are in that more positive mindset, it's not just that, you know, you are managing yourself in terms of what you're capable of and this and that, but when you infect others with your positivity, with your positive thinking, positive mindset, it gets their wheels turning and then together collectively, you know, we can come up with the solutions and do things and manage things that no way any single one of us could do. You mentioned devastating storms in your area. I mean, I'm in Los Angeles and earlier this year we had some of the most devastating fires LA has seen in LA history.

AMY: Yeah.

SAMIA: And, you know, we are also seeing some of the best of humanity in these moments emerge in so many different ways. You know, like, for example, we had. This thing where there were a bunch. Of oh, my God, food carts, you know, like, okay, yeah, food carts. And I don't know how many of them initially, but a few of them initially were like, okay, you know what? We have food carts. We're gonna get together, we're gonna gather in this parking lot, and we're gonna give out food that we have just to help the community.

AMY: Yeah.

SAMIA: People heard about it. I'm sure they did some act of reaching out in terms of spreading the word and inviting people to come and do whatever they could to help, and so forth. And what we saw was that within like a day, I mean, someone could have taken months and weeks to plan something like this. But within a day, we saw literally hundreds and then thousands of people. Like once people knew, oh, someone's trying to do something good over here, people congregated. And yeah, there was not only the food trucks giving out the food, people were bringing in donations of all kinds of things. And then, you know, some people were like, oh, you know what? We gotta organize all this. And so then people started to organize and separate all the donations into like different areas and parts, and you know, and this was like a completely like community led grassroots effort. And in the meantime, our local government they were also doing their best, but they were like still trying to figure out.

AMY: Yeah, they've never dealt with something like that.

SAMIA: Yeah, so while our local government cities and all were trying to figure out how to make the response, people already stepped up and started the response process and started to help themselves and help each other out. And it just once this one location popped up and started going and inspired other people to start similar initiatives and other parts of the community. All our problems are not solved. We're still dealing with things. But, you know, this was like such a you know, like cool example of like when we don't stay stuck in feeling sorry for ourselves and focusing on what's wrong, how we can actually make something really good and helpful…

AMY: Yeah. And that's a great example because even like here with the hurricanes, it wasn't just the local area people. This was nationwide people coming in. So our community is bigger than, you know, what just surrounds us.

SAMIA: Yeah.

AMY: And that spread, you know, like, fast, you know, that, Hey, let's help. Let's pitch in. One person started it. One.

SAMIA: Yeah.

AMY: And then it, you know, it just automatically magnified. But look how much it magnified…

SAMIA: Yeah.

AMY: How far out it magnified.

SAMIA: Yeah.

AMY: So if you think being positive doesn't affect a huge thing or huge occurrence, it does.

SAMIA: Yeah.

AMY: And that's how we start to change the world is just by that one thing. Look how many lives that helped. Look how much inspiration that created. And, yeah, still thinking about it.

SAMIA: Yeah. And, you know, I think another really important aspect of when we are working with this kind of mindset and awareness, another thing that I have had to learn is that, you know, when I was wishing for different solutions or different help. Like sometimes I'd like literally be praying for like, God, please help me, help me, help me. Oftentimes, the help that actually did come didn't look exactly like how I had wished for it. It was sometimes only part of what I wanted that somebody would come and be like, here, I have this part of what you want. And there would be a part of me that would be like disappointed that I didn't get the whole help that I wanted, or it didn't look just the way that I wanted it to be. So also like work on my mindset in that context. And again, to have the faith, the trust that, you know, here's part of the solution already, and the rest is coming too. And so far as it's different from what I wanted, you know what? Maybe what I have been provided. With is even better than what I wanted.

AMY: Yeah. You know, and that's something I had to work on was that receiving, being open to receiving it. I used to take it as if somebody was trying to help me was them telling me I'm not capable of doing it. And that's not what that's about. It's just people want to help. People want to extend their kindness. And I really had to work on opening myself up to receiving again. And, you know, that's a whole another show because that goes into relationships that goes into money, that goes into spirit that, I mean, that's like a whole another show.

SAMIA: Oh, gosh. Amy, you're so right. You're so right... Oh. On that thought, maybe we should start wrapping up for today. We could keep talking forever.

AMY: Yes.

SAMIA: Oh, thank you so much for everything that you have shared today. Is there any other last pressing thoughts or even do you want to share with people about how they can find you and so forth?

AMY: Yeah, you can find me on Facebook and LinkedIn at Amy Woods. On Facebook, it's Amy Woods Business Coaching. On LinkedIn, it's Amy Woods Coaching. I'm also sort of on Instagram, but that's Amy Woods Coaching also. Or you can go to my website at womenchoosingexcellence.com and just a final thought, just, you know, you decide what you're gonna put on your plate and that goes with everything that we talked about, the positivity, the what you're gonna do, what you're gonna have in your life, where you're gonna go career-wise you get to choose that. So choose, choose excellence.

SAMIA: Yay! That's amazing. Thank you so much. And for my last reminder, I will just remind our audience to make sure you check the show notes because we will drop all of Amy's links in there so you can be sure you're connecting with the right Amy.

AMY: Yes.

SAMIA: And get the help and support you need whenever you are ready for it. And until we connect next time, I wish you lots and lots of peace and joy... :)