How to reclaim your power within & set healthy boundaries. 

How to reclaim your power within & set healthy boundaries. Loralee Humpherys & Samia Bano

Want more power to create the positive change and healing you desire?

Listen now to this interview with Loralee Humpherys, a Licensed #Spiritual #HealthCoach, to understand how you can unlock your #powerwithin by reconnecting with your divine nature to transform #painintopurpose, in your life and the world!

Explore:

-- The Sacred Link Between Trauma, Power, and Purpose

-- How to #heal from shame without relying on religious frameworks

-- How you can set #healthyboundaries to #reclaimyourpower

-- How political struggles reflect deeper spiritual and psychological wounds

-- What does it take to have conversations between people and communities divided by history, fear, and pain?

-- And more!

About Loralee:

Loralee Humpherys, the creator of the Radiant Reset Program, releases stressed-out women so they can #breakfree of deep-seated social conditioning and beliefs that keep them feeling stuck, fearful, and in poor health.

For years Loralee struggled with emotional eating and digestive upsets as a result of deep-seated anxieties in her personal and professional life. Her quest to #FindFreedom from the pain led her to research from which she discovered the principles of #naturalhealing, cleansing and detoxification, #energyhealing and #holisticnutrition.

Loralee brings these answers to other women so they can heal all of these issues and more by living in harmony with The Natural Laws of Health and being in alignment with their spiritually #authenticself.

Loralee is a #Licensed #SpiritualHealth Coach, Licensed #MassageTherapist, and Certified #ReikiMaster, with special training in Meditation and Aromatherapy.

Learn more and connect with Loralee at:

https://livingwellwithloralee.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/loralee-humpherys-4959b62b3/

https://www.facebook.com/loralee.humpherys

https://www.facebook.com/NourishingEssentialsConsulting

https://x.com/LoraleeH46322

PLUS: Grab your FREE GIFT from Loralee now!

Click the link below to download your Free Guide, “What It Takes To Heal Yourself”. It explains the 4 areas you must address to finally feel better.

https://loralee-humpherys.aweb.page/p/3c4a7301-c754-4324-a164-4d5ba79c0cac

To Book your Free HAPPINESS 101 EXPLORATION CALL with Samia, click: https://my.timetrade.com/book/JX9XJ

#painintopower #UnlockThePower #spiritualpower #truepower #AwakenYourPower #powerwithinyou #rememberingwhoyouare #TransformPainIntoPower #PowerAndPurpose #SpiritualHealing #HolisticWellness, #HealingJourney, #DivineConnection, #HealingThroughDialogue, #FromTraumaToPower, #BestSelfJourney, #ShameToSelfWorth, #SpiritualWisdomEveryday, #DivineAwakening, #HealingThroughFaith, #SpiritualConsciousness, #PowerWithin

Here's the audio version of this episode:

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Full Video Transcript

SAMIA: Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, Privet, Mabuhay, and Dzień Dobry! It's so good to be with you again. And I know you'll be so happy you've joined us again because guess what? We have one of our very cool returning guests. And actually, Loralee, you are one of the very few guests I've had who is coming back for a fourth time on the show…

LORALEE: That's a good record then…

SAMIA: Yes. And you know, well... Oh, let me, for those of our audience who may have missed our previous episodes together, let me give a tiny little info to you. So our guest today is Loralee Humphreys, who is a Licensed Spiritual Health Coach and a Licensed Massage Therapist and Certified Reiki Master. And she has special training in meditation and aromatherapy. And I mean, just lots of amazing expertise and so much wisdom and so much experience. So no wonder we love having you back again and again. Welcome back, Loralee…

LORALEE: You're so welcome. Thank you for having me again. I'm happy to be here.

SAMIA: Ah, yes. And would you like to share with our audience anything from your end, a little bit more about who you are and what you do?

LORALEE: Well, that's kind of a good summation of what you said already. I guess I could add that in all of the work that I do, that the main intention or heartfelt message that I want to get to cross to people is that, number one, we have the ability to heal ourselves. It's all just a matter of re-educating ourselves to understand not natural healing principles and how we actually can do that, and then having the support to heal, to do the work. And that, you know, when we heal... We're talking about healing ourselves, it's really about developing the fullest potential of who we are as humans. And the first stages of that is the healing of resolving all the aches and the wounds and the traumas and the physical issues. And then life becomes a whole other level of experience. So that's really what I aim to inspire people to know and to do through all of my work.

SAMIA: Yeah. And I love that you have that understanding and that approach. And actually that's part of what we have been exploring over the course of the, well, three interviews we've already had and the interview we're doing today, right. In our very first episode, we were focusing a little bit more on exploring some of the specific modalities that you utilize to help your clients. I think you talked a little bit more in-depth about Reiki and massage as specific modalities. And, you know, like, you know, you have a particular focus also with helping people with gut health. And so, you know, like, talking about these different aspects of physical health, but recognizing that there's a connection between our physical health, our mental health, and our spiritual health. And, you know, as we were talking about that, that led us to talk about, well, you know, what are some of the barriers that can come up when we are working on healing ourselves? And, you know, it's like sometimes you're doing everything that you know to do. You're going to the doctors, following on their advice, but you still hit this wall, and you can't get better beyond a certain point. And a lot of times when that happens, you know, there's something happening at a mental, emotional, spiritual level that we haven't paid attention to. And so then we sort of shifted focus to talking about that aspect of the healing process. And as you were talking about that, you know, one of the big things that came up was, like, fear. It's like these fears that we have that can, you know, that is... You know, that's the wall, really, that we hit. And so how do we deal with our fears and break through those fears to experience healing? And as we were talking about that, it was like, okay, well, we actually need to have an even deeper understanding of what is healing, you know, and what becomes possible on the other side of experiencing that deeper level of healing. And that was the last time we connected. That's what we were really focusing on. And then you said something that was so deep and profound. And, of course, we were running out of time again, in terms of, like, you were sharing how, you know, really healing… talking about healing as an experience of feeling whole and feeling connected to that wholeness. And then you mentioned something about, you know, the aspect of power. And so I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa... We need to dig way deeper into that.

LORALEE: Yeah, that's a big one. That's a really big one.

SAMIA: So can you tell me a little bit more? Like, when you talk about healing and thinking of healing as an experience of wholeness and its relationship to power. What is that all about? Tell me more…

(INSERT AD HERE: 6:34

LORALEE: Yeah, what's the connection? Okay, so to start with, let's just kind of redefine who we are. Who do we believe that we are?

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: At the core of everything, every religion, every tradition, every philosophy across the globe, it all comes down to, you are a spiritual being. You're more than just the physical body, you're a spiritual, there's a spiritual essence. So what exactly does that mean? What is a spiritual essence? And one of the ways that that can be looked at is number one, consciousness. We have a mind we can think, we can observe, and that is like each of us have like a drop of consciousness that is part of the whole sea of like the divine mind of God, if you want to call it. We each have a drop of that. So that's a divine aspect of ourselves through our ability to think and observe.

SAMIA: Yes.

LORALEE: And then as consciousness moves and develops and start to look at, you know, what things am I interested in, then that creates movement, which is energy and feeling. Okay. So when you look at the construct, what makes a human, you have to look at us beyond the physical and recognize first and foremost, we're an energetic spiritual being... So we are comprised of this highly, highly complex system of a ton of different frequencies of energies, of electricity, of magnetic electricity, of magnetic energy. All combined in this highly complex system that you could call our soul or our energy body or our spiritual body, the part of us that contains our consciousness when we are not in the physical body. Okay. So if you can shift your thinking around to embrace that deeper part of you, then the conversation of what is power really comes into a much broader expansion. And this also has to do with, you know, how can... What can you experience on the other side of healing? So our innate essence as spiritual beings is as an expression of the divine, of the mind of God, is that we create. We're always thinking of how can we better ourselves, how can we offer something to humanity, to uplift the nature of animals, of just making things better in some form. We're always wanting to create something. And sometimes that creation is a really beneficial things, other times that creation is dramatic, violent, unpleasant experiences. Okay, so, but at the end of it all, it's really recognizing our capacity, our great capacity to envision something and then create it.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: And the energy that we draw upon to do all of that creative work is the spiritual energetic source point of who we are as God stuff, as droplets of the divine mind. So that's where all power comes from. And so when we're talking about power, the way it's been distilled and diluted and expressed in our world today is that for hundreds, thousands of years humans have been taught that we're powerless, we're worthless, we can't do this and that and that there's an overarching control structure of religion or government or institutions, corporations that have all the control and all the power. And you know, when you look around the way our society is set up, then you can say, yeah, that's definitely true. And there's a deeper truth because when we really recognize our true spiritual identity, and that's an endless well of immense power that we can draw upon to create whatever we desire in our lives.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: And you know, lots of times when we don't understand this, when we're not clear on who we are, when we believe there's lack and limitation in our lives, we will use our energy and thus our power to create circumstances that end up hurting ourselves and others or, you know, creating all kinds of drama. So when you look at any kind of conflict, it doesn't matter the scale.

You know, whether it's from nations to regions to families, to men and women, to parent-child. When you really distill down a conflict or an argument, it's usually about one person wanting something from the other.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: And that's where it gets into really personal power. Because, you know, if you want... Because it, because the person who's wanting does not recognize that they have the capacity within themselves to provide for themselves, whatever it is that they want. So for example, if you're jealous over and fighting over somebody's significant other.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: You know, there's a sense of lack or not good enough of I don't have the capacity to attract to myself a mate, a partner. Like what I'm seeing, this person has. Therefore, I'm jealous. Or I'm going to go steal because something, because, and just take whatever, money, possessions, whatever, because I want it. Because I perceive that I do not have the capacity within myself to do what it takes to acquire those things for myself. Therefore, when I see somebody out there who has mastered that skill, I'm jealous, I'm angry, and so I'm going to go steal and take. So it all comes down to these deep levels of how we believe that we are, which is whether or not we feel we can use our inherent power for good or not.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: So that's kind of a good way to introduce that whole bit.

SAMIA: Yeah. Yeah, you know, as you were talking, you made me think about like so many different aspects in which these power struggles can crop up in our life. And there are two primary ways that like, or scenarios, or situations, or context that came to mind most strongly as you are sharing. One is, I've been watching this rendition on TV of the Ramayan. The Ramayan, for those of you who may not know, is one of the core Indian spiritual texts. You know, it's a story. I mean, at one level, you know, you can see it just as a story of you know, there's princess and kings and queens and, you know, there's epic battles between good and evil. But, you know, there's a lot of spiritual wisdom that you're actually learning from listening to these stories and so forth. And so these stories in our Indian. You know, as an Indian person myself, I've grown up listening to these stories pretty much my whole life. And there's so many different renditions of it. And every so often, you know, you hear or you get to listen or watch a rendition that helps you to see a different aspect, a different bit of wisdom, some different learning in the story. And the most recently, you know, there this sequel... The part of the story that we were on is actually. So the main characters, the prince or the king at this point, Ram and his queen Sita. And, you know, they have been through all kinds of struggle in their life to try, like, what... And, you know, they struggled against, like, all these demons to protect humanity and create a better world, establish righteousness. And in that process, they had to separate. Like, they were like, literally physically separated. And, you know, that was a cause of deep grief for them, but they bore it, you know, with this. Like, you know, they realized that, know, they had to make that sacrifice for. For the sake of, you know, the good of humanity, to live out their values that they had in the best ways and so on and so forth. But at. At this point in the story, you know, they finally thought they would be able to come together and be together. And they're on the verge of reuniting when something else happens. And it's like... So it's like... And it basically forces Sita. She's actually, so what's happening is that when she was separated, physically separated from her husband, and now they're coming back together after a separation of some 14 years. So now people start talking and they say, well, how do I... How do we know she was gone for 14 years, and actually she has come back with these two kids that she says are Ram's kids. They're twin boys. And, but how do we know. How do we know she's pure? How do we know these are actually Ram's kids? And so she has to prove she has to prove that, you know, and the way they say we want her to prove this is by giving a test where she has to walk through fire. And if, you know, she is pure, if she's honest, if she's truthful, then she will walk through fire and she will not be harmed. And you know, in this moment, Sita is like, we have sacrificed so much and of ourselves and who we are to fulfill this duty and that duty and this role and that role. But right now, I give up all of that, and I'm only going to think about what I owe to myself as a woman and to all the other women of the world.

If I agree in this moment to go through this test by fire, what am I? What is the example that I'm setting in terms of what should be expected and required of all women who may be subject to this kind of suspicion and, you know, things like that. And so she refuses to go through this trial by fire, but what she does do is she calls on Mother Earth, because in the story, you know, her origin story said she was actually born. She was a gift from the gods. She was born from the earth, like, the earth ripped open. And there was baby Sita, you know, and she was found that way. And so she calls to Mother Earth, and she is like, Mother Earth. If I've been honest, if I'm pure, then I want you to open up right now and take me back with you. And sure enough, Mother Earth opens up, you know, and the Mother Earth comes up and she's like, come, my daughter. This world is not worthy of you. Come back to me. Come back to a place of rest. And there is a scene in between all of this, where all of this is happening. And at some point, when the people who are witnessing this, they have a realization, oh, my God, what have we done? You know, and then start apologizing to her and being like, oh, no, please don't go. We realize our mistake, this and that, but she nonetheless makes the decision that it's time for her to go, and she doesn't.. And so she chooses not to stay. And she leaves... And what happens then is that Ram is so distraught. He's so distraught, he fully feels the injustice of what just happened. And he's like, either Mother Earth, give back Sita to me, or I'm going to destroy the entire world, because I cannot bear separation from her anymore. And, you know, and he has the power to literally destroy the world. And he's just so hurt, you know, I mean, Sita was hurt, of course, but he's so hurt and, and so in, in this moment, and he like literally raises his ball and he's going to like shoot the arrow that will destroy the world. And so then it's like, whoa, like how do we stop this? Who stops this? What... Like, obviously he needs some healing. He needs to experience some, some regain his perspective on things. And so basically what has to happen is that the gods have to come down to earth and the like, you can imagine like a scene where all the other people have disappeared and time is frozen and now he's in this engage conversation with the gods and basically what the gods do is they're like, okay, we know you are so hurt and it has made you so angry, but we need you to remember who you really are. We need you to remember your truth beyond the truth of your identity as this human being that you know you are in this moment. And we need you to remember and connect with the truth of who was Sita beyond who she was in that physical body. And you know, and so, you know, there's a scene where he looks into the eyes of one of the gods and then he sees the spiritual reality of you know, his being and the spiritual reality of Sita. And you know, he's then able to recognize that ah, she's not truly gone. He'll be reunited. We and you know, our love will always remain like we can never be separated because we are connected spiritually forever knowledge. And so you know, when he recognizes this deeper truth of he is, who Sita is, your spiritual reality, that is what allows him to experience this healing. That calms him down, calms down his anger, calms down his feeling of like just separation and hurt, and yeah, crisis, like literally end of the world crisis averted…

LORALEE: Yeah.

SAMIA: Because of, you know, his recognizing the deeper spiritual truth.

LORALEE: Yeah. You know, yeah, there's a lot that you can extract from that and it's big powerful lessons and it's, you know, when you look at, considers like all the people who are criticizing her and saying you have to prove to us, you know, that's very left brained thinking and the analytical mind that wants to have where it has to prove something, it will never ever, ever be satisfied. Ever…

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: Because it's cons, it's split, it's separated from the right-brained hemisphere, right brain part of ourselves which is that direct connection to the divine, to spirit, and God. And so, you know, when you lose that connection, then, yeah, you can see how the masses of the people can go to this whole big expression of doubt and sowing discord and division and fighting and jealousy, you know, all of the negative things. That's a misuse of power because you've been disconnected from your source. And then with Ram, it's recognizing how the misuse of power can be taken to an extreme where it could literally blow, blow up the planet. And which is, you know, what nobody wants. But it's, again, it's taken to an extreme of the anger, the hurt, all of the things he had to put up with for all of those years to be separated from her, and what he had to do to fulfill his mission. And all of the, I mean, that just builds up a whole amount of emotion on hurt and anger and resentment and all the things. And it's... The ending of that story is so beautiful because it take, in order for all of that huge ball of all of that energy to be quelled and to be, to be softened. It does take the connection and recognition of who we are actually are to transmute all of that fiery, strong energy from destruction into creating something of peace. And it's recognizing that the source of our power is through connecting with, you know, the earth nature, that the other beings on the spiritual realm outside of this physical existence, you know, when we can draw upon that and draw upon the power of just the, of God, of the divine mind, you know, anything can happen, anything can be created. And it's I think too, it comes to a core, a core value of, or ethic of, in your heart of hearts. Do you honor and value life where you want to expand and create and evolve, and grow? Or are you truly committed to separation, to stirring the pot and creating division and, and argument and ultimately destruction, which is a dishonoring of life because power is used in both ways.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. Yeah... And I think you're so right, Loralee, in that, you know, when we use our power in the more harmful or destructive ways, it really is coming from a place of our feeling not enough. And in some ways, you know, when you are being subjected, like when you're like the victim, like now I'm thinking, you know, as a human, like when I experienced someone in that destructive mode unleashing that all that negative power on me, it's like, I mean, you know, obviously, whoa... Like you feel abused, you feel victimized, just feel hurt yourself. And so it's like they're doing what they're doing because they feel not enough and probably hurt and out of control and this and that. And then what they're doing to me is also making me feel hurt and victimized and like compromised in my sense of my power. And so now here we have these like... And so now we have both loss perspective.

LORALEE: Yeah. It amplifies the damage…

SAMIA: Yes. And so it's like, whoa, you know, so now it's like doubly unhealthy, this dynamic that develops doubly... Like there's pain, hurt, disconnection with our own true nature, our spirituality on both sides. And so what do we when we are so triggered and traumatized and acting out of that trauma?

LORALEE: Yeah.

SAMIA: What do we do to begin to get ourselves out of it? I mean, we're going to assume that the gods are not going to come down to have a personal talk with us like they did for Ram. So what do we do?

LORALEE: Yeah, that is the invitation to the healing journey.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: And it's... There's so many layers and nuances, and it does take a lot of time because it's really dealing with whatever emotion comes up in the moment and expressing and feeling that and letting it go and then recognizing what the thoughts are associated to it. But when you distill all of that down, when you can get beyond the emotional storms, it's recognizing, number one, the abuser is that because he was abused. You know, and so that's a pattern that carries on for generations and hundreds of years. And so it's all about people acting out because they feel that they don't have power themselves. And so it just perpetuates the cycle. And so, like for the victim or the person who's been pounded upon, then there's a few choices that can be made. They can either stay in victim mode and tell their story of how life is beating them up and everything's against them. The gods hate me and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... And so you just perpetuate unsavory experiences, which also invites in other people to take advantage and hurt and abuse some more, or you can choose to say, well, what can I learn from this horrific experience? You know, if the universe in life is all about supporting me to evolve and to grow and become aware of my divine self, what kind of lessons can I gain from this experience? For as ugly and horrific as it was, what is that telling me about my degree of disconnection from my own power? That's ultimately what a victim stance is.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: You know, that this person is expressing power in abusing, but it's coming from a very disempowered, life-destructing place.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: And so you see this expression of power, and oftentimes we believe that that is what power is, the harmful, the destructive. And so it's, you know, who wants to own that kind of power when you can see the damage it makes, you know, and so that's why we just like, oh, I don't want any part of that, you know, but it's unraveling that further to say, wow, if this person could express that degree of power to me, what am I capable of holding? What kind of power do I actually have via this demonstration?

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: It's because life is always mirroring, giving us a mirror of who we are or could be. And so it's looking, it's like, oh, well, life is demonstrating to me what? An expression of power is, and could I perhaps within myself have that degree of intense power too that I have disowned, that I have felt ashamed of because I didn't want to hurt. And so then you can kind of unravel some judgment and beliefs and things to be able to step into. Yes, I do have this power. It comes to me via the fact that I am made of God stuff. Part of the divine mind, part of God, part of creation. I do have access to this.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: And then it becomes also a matter of responsibility of how are you going to use that power now that you understand how transformative and how destructive it can be?

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: You know…

SAMIA: Yeah. You know, this brings up a couple of questions for me, and I'm going to frame them by giving you some context of something that I'm actually going through these days in my life. And this was like the other thing that had come to my mind initially, is the other context also. So, you know, some of the toughest conversations that I'm having these days are with my Jewish brothers and sisters. You know, the, and particularly those of my Jewish brother and sisters who have a strong love for Israel, who identify as Zionists, who in that identification, you know, they're saying that they really value and want and desire a state to exist in the world, like a physical country, a state where they can feel safe. And, you know, there's all kinds of things that are going on in that part of the world right now.

LORALEE: Yes.

SAMIA: Where people are struggling to create a safe home for themselves. That's true for the Jews, but it's also true for the Palestinians, right. Who are part of that land. And so, like, for me, in some ways, you know, like, because I'm not Palestinian, I'm not from that part of the world. Easier... And neither am I Jewish for that. So for me, it's sort of, like, easier to sort of see things from a distance, from a bigger picture perspective, as it were. Almost like a third party. I say almost because, I mean, you know, I am Muslim, and especially after I came to America, you know, before I came to America, I knew next to nothing about what was going on in Israel, Palestine. Honest truth. But after I came to America, in America, Israel, Palestine is a big issue in both the Muslim community and the American Jewish community. And so as I have engaged more and more deeply as an American Muslim with my American Muslim community and my American Jewish community, I've had to learn more about, you know, this conflict, the history of the region, all of that. And these days in particular, you know, I've been having, you know, we're actually, you know, going through a process where I live, of trying to convene a community conversation.

LORALEE: Yeah.

SAMIA: Try and bring our two communities of Muslims and Jews, Israelis and Palestinians. And for that matter, any... All other stakeholders who, you know, have a humanitarian interest in the issue. We're trying to convene a community conversation to bring all of us together to talk. And what's happening, though, is there... It actually hit me very recently that we've been facing a lot of opposition. So there's definitely a lot of people who are like, yes, we want this conversation to happen. But on the other hand, we have also been facing a lot of opposition of people saying, no, this is a bad idea. We won't let you do it. And they've been giving all kinds of reasons. And I realized more recently that there was a part of me that have fallen into judgmental thinking that I was just assuming bad faith, bad intentions on the part of those who are opposing our efforts to convene this community conversation. But I realized, oh, it's not that. It's not that. Literally what it is like a deep fear.

LORALEE: Yeah.

SAMIA: They're experiencing in terms of if we say yes to having this conversation, you know, it will require everyone who comes into the space to hear things that are going to be difficult for them to hear, to acknowledge, even if they don't want to accept that what they're hearing is true, they will at the very least have to be willing to hear it. And they don't even want to hear it. They don't want to hear it because there's just too much pain and fear around even being in a space where they have to hear these difficult things being said. And fear of, well, how do we even respond to that and come out of it? Like, you know, like, I realized that there's this... The fear of being blamed and judged and shamed. That's really what it is. We don't want to be blamed. We don't want to be judged. We don't want to be shamed. Because how do you... If you say, okay, I hear you and I accept what you're saying is true about your suffering and the cause of your suffering, if I agree with you that what, how you understand the cause of your suffering is really what it is, then what does that say about me? And, you know, like, and how do I even deal with that, you know, and so I'm not even... I don't even want to hear it. I don't want to engage in this conversation. But it comes out. But there's very, there's very few people who are actually willing to acknowledge that, that pain or that fear. What you just see on the surface is all these other things that they're saying about, oh, we're saying no to this because of this other reason, and that other reason. And, you know, but those other reasons, like, for someone like me, it's like, no, that's not a real issue. Like, you know, like, for me, it feels like an excuse, but, you know, and so initially that is what had made me fall into that judgment of, oh, people are just acting out of bad faith. But it's like, no, no, it's not that. It's like we need to dig deeper, look beneath the surface of what is being said to understand what is the real need that people have and that they're expressing and that they're trying to meet.

LORALEE: Yeah, it's... That's a very complex situation. And it goes back, you know, so far because the, like, the Jewish, the Muslim, those traditions and cultures go back so long. There's a dee... There's a big cultural ancestral momentum to keep that perspective and that belief in all those experiences going. And, you know, like, right now in the, over there in the Middle East, there's always throughout history, there has always been groups of people who thrive on stirring the pot. They feed off of it. And so when the masses of the people don't understand, like, you could call it the common enemy stirring the pot, all of they see is mudslinging from one side to the other. And so pretty soon is conflict and stealing and wars and destruction and bombs and bleh. You know, and so to finally break that cycle. It takes a very strong spiritual being or entity to come into. To be birth into those traditions, you know, like, with you, to see the higher perspective of there's you know, things that could be cultivated here. And I think some... There's gonna be a lot of people who aren't ready, and so you just have to let them be. As you said, the fear, the fear of judgment, fear of shame, fear of having somebody say something to them to make them feel bad. And it's, to me, I think it. A lot of that conversation. You know, for those who are willing to have the conversation. It's being willing to very gently and tenderly and lovingly peel away the layers of all of the beliefs and the cultures and the traditions of assumptions and misunderstandings. Because that's what most of it is really, when it comes down to it, to say, okay, this is what my family experienced and make it personal. This is my experience, my perspective versus identifying with the whole tradition, the whole racial identity, because that's what perpetuates the trauma and the destruction. But I kind of like what we were talking about a while on one of our other calls of who are you within the tribe? Identify you, cultivate your sense of self, your connection to the divine, so that you know your place within the tribe and how you can maneuver. That's so important. And I think those conversations, those gentle conversations held in a safe way so that there's no judgment or anything that helps cultivate that sense of self. So that rather than taking things so personal because you're so identified with the cultural, tribal, ancestral thing, then you can say, this is my feelings. This is what I've experienced it. This is what I've carried, what I've believed. So let me look at that and sort through and peel away the distortions to find the truth in that. Because ultimately, you know, ideally, in having those conversations. And it can take. It obviously can take some time and some. A lot of facilitating and working through all the upsets and all the things, but eventually it comes down to you're human and I'm human. We came from this side of the planet. We came from that side of the planet. These were our cultural experiences. We can keep the wonderful, beautiful things. We can forgive everyone are including ourselves and each other, and come together to say, this is what I learned. This is the beautiful thing from my culture. Let me share it with you. This is the thing from my spiritual treaty teachings and traditions. Let me share them with you because you're going to find common ground always.

SAMIA: So much common grounds.

LORALEE: Yeah. And just be able to start relating as humans, seeing each other as spiritual humans rather than getting lost in all the minutia of all of this, you know, hundreds of years, hundreds of generations long traditions of, you know, disidentify with that because that's not who you truly are.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: You know.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. You know, I was thinking about, you know, again, going back to that example of Ram and how in that moment of intense distress and anger, the way he was able to calm down was by connecting with his spiritual reality, right. But what if for me, one of the questions that comes up is, like, for someone who is not very religious or spiritually oriented in their everyday lives, and this is true in both the Muslim community, by the way, and the Jewish community where, you know, yes, we identify, we take on these identities of Muslim, Jew, whatever, but we are not. But that doesn't mean that we have, you know, the spiritual perspective that these faith traditions teach. We don't live by that spiritual understanding or that spiritual perspective in our everyday lives. And so how do you... I heard what you were saying about, you know, like, connecting at a human level, speaking from the I. But in terms of, you know, like. I mean, like, for me, like, the moment we recognize our spiritual reality, it solves so many problems. Solves the problem of our feeling powerless, feeling afraid. All shame and guilt melts away. But for someone for whom that is not a perspective that they're connected with, what is the cure for? Especially, like, I think shame is like one of those emotions that none of us want to feel. None of us want to feel. And we'll do all kinds of things to run away from our feelings of shame, from even, like, the idea of you know, like, having to feel shame is like. It's just so, like, don't even want to deal with it. What is the cure for shame at, like, a psychological level, at a mental level, and talking about it in a language that is not explicitly spiritual.

LORALEE: Yeah, gotcha. Yeah, so it's... Yeah, it is for people who do have, like, a spiritual base or, you know, religious, spiritual thing that is easy language to fall into, to convey the concepts. But for somebody who doesn't, you know, it's looking at... How can you express the idea of being a spiritual being without using those words?

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: You know, because it's... At the end of the day, you could... The way one of the ways I see it too, is like the spiritual. Living a spiritual life. You could look at it as knowing who you are and being your best self, living the most authentic and honest way possible, being in touch with your heart of what's true to you. And so you know that you can convey those ideas and those words to somebody who doesn't have any kind of spiritual tradition of anything everybody's can relate to that because it speaks to our basic humanity.

SAMIA: Yes.

LORALEE: And in that description, that it's also touching upon the inherent worth and value of you as a being, as a person, you know, and clinging to that is what's going to help lift you, the person, up out of the shame and the guilt and all the horrific things that we've been, you know, that has been put upon us. But it's, you know, when, regardless of the tradition and the words, you know, if you had a community of people that were doing their best to live their best self, to be as authentic and honest and uplifting to everyone, then they're going to be serving and offering. How can I support you in whatever you're dealing with? How can I offer my gifts to the community? We had a conversation. It didn't sit right. You know, I think that I may have hurt your feelings or you hurt mine or it just, there's a rub. And so let me be responsible for myself to have a conversation with you to clear the air. You know, it's, you know, if there's a community that lived that way, by definition, you could call that a spiritual community because everybody's being their best self.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: And they're not going to allow abuse and lying and all of the division because they understand where that leads. And see, that goes back to your expression of owning your power. Of I choose to use all of my life force energy.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: All of my God given power to run my life in that manner.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: You know, so that's kind of how I would approach it is just... How can I, being a spiritual person, what does that look like to me? Let me break it down and describe it. What am I trying to convey through that, those words.

SAMIA: Yes.

LORALEE: And then how can I convey that same core message and intent using words that this person can also relate to who does not come from a spiritual background?

SAMIA: Yes. I hear you in the language of best self. I think I really, I really like that, you know, to have people reflect on. Okay. When you are being your best self and I'm being my best self, how would we act? How can we act? How do we act as our best selves? So let that be one of our guiding lights, as it were.

LORALEE: Yeah.

SAMIA: Is what I'm doing now or wanting to do or thinking of doing, is this something that I would do as my best self?

LORALEE: Yeah. And. Yeah, and following along that, you know, some people may just stay with those terminologies and then other people would choose to explore and go deeper and deeper, which inevitably will connect them to their defined spark, their spiritual core, you know, so it would be just a natural, organic unfoldment when it's time for them.

SAMIA: That's right. That's right. It's, you know, that is something I find interesting in the Buddhist tradition because in the Buddhist philosophy, there is no explicit conception that is talked about of like a God. Like in Islam and Judaism, and Christianity, we have this, we have almost, I mean to mess up the pronunciation of the word, but you know, this idea of, oh, we are created in the image of God. And so we think we have this tendency to then not only go from believing that God created us in God's image to then imagining God to be like us.

LORALEE: Yes.

SAMIA: And you know, what we end up doing in that imagination of going, imagining God to be like us is that we put our limitations and our constraints, we project them onto God. And you know, so it's like, you know, and so then we end up feeling powerless and not enough and all of that. And we are not able to find a way out of that because it's like we are projecting... I mean, I think it happens subconsciously because I know in the Muslim tradition, you know, there's explicit teachings and I know this is true in the Jewish tradition too. There's explicit teaching that God is all-powerful, God is all-knowing, God is, you know, all of everything in terms of, you know, power, knowledge, presence, love, etc. And yet, you know, the limitations that we experience as human beings, those become a bigger aspect of our reality. So even though at one level we say, oh, God created us in his image, but then we, but we don't, but that doesn't lead us to think, oh, I am also limitless, I'm also like so powerful and I have access to all of this wisdom because I'm created in God's image because I have something of God's spirit that makes me who I am. No, we just project, you know, we just project our limitations the other way around. And then we get trapped in this feeling of not enough and powerlessness and stuff. So yeah, and I am seeing a lot of that. It's like, actually that has become one of my favorite practices these days, literally is like whenever I start to feel any kind of anxiety or stress or fear, for me that has become a signal to remind myself that, yeah, you know, the reason I'm feeling all of these feelings is because I am thinking from the limited perspective of my ego consciousness and I need to reconnect with, you know, the spiritual...

LORALEE: Yeah.

SAMIA: ..consciousness and reality of just how not only that we have access to all the power and knowledge and wisdom and love that God has, but that, you know, like. But that we are actually. It's not just that I have access to it's that, It's already, it's already a part of who I am. It's already, it's already in action. Yeah, it's already there. It's already there. It's already in action even. Like, it's not just that I have to say, oh God, please love me and then wait for God to like, somehow love me. But it's like, no, the love is already there. I'm already in the love and God is already loving me too. And it's just like for me, it's just a shift in awareness to recognize that ah, already being loved, I'm already being taken care of. I'm already being protected. I'm already safe. I don't even have to be like, God, please protect me and then wait for the protection to come. It's like I'm already…

LORALEE: It's already there.

SAMIA: It's already there.

LORALEE: Yeah. I think especially with those three major religions, each one has their own definition, expression or picture of what God is and is not. There's commonalities, but then I think there's unique things and I think that's part of what creates the deep traditions of each of those religions. And yeah, when we get caught up in inverting it, projecting our frailty onto God, that's when we give our power away. And so, you know, you have generations doing that and then you have, as I mentioned, this big long cultural history of people fighting back and forth because they've all given their power away to this outside ideology of what they believe God to be. They fight over what God is or isn't and who's, you know, he loves me more than you and you know, all that stuff. And so, you know, and disidentifying from that, that's where a lot of the work is because it's where it's so woven through so many generations. It's also within the DNA.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: Of the body. And so that's a lot of deep unraveling of and constant reminding yourself of, oh, that's, I'm inverting it, you know, that's not the truth.

The truth is, as you're saying, it's already here. I am made of God's stuff. That's my source, you know, and it's the constant reminding, and it's... This reminds me of, you know, something I was going to say earlier, too, of when you're talking about how do we have these conversations with Muslims and the Jewish communities. The way I see it is that when you have long traditions in generations, there's so much healing that needs to be done. You know, it just builds and builds and builds and builds. And then there's a cycle of time and a generation that is born in those, in that window of time. It's, you know, like seasons of time. Generations are born within certain seasons of time that come in with the innate spiritual awareness that part of why they chose this life and this lineage is to heal those things. And so I think that's why, you know, I would say that, you know, you would be one of those people of... I see all of this stuff hurts me to see all this discord. I know I can do something about it. And so it's like there's a time frames when people come in specifically to start healing all of that generational woundedness to bring us back to the core truth of we're just people and humanity.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: And so it's, you know, it's doing the work, it's recognizing. Wow. I fell in on. Fallen into the old way of thinking is that that's not really the truth. So let me kind of come back over here, you know, so it's a big thing.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. And I'm just, you know, I was also, like, going through, like, practice of prayer and meditation that I do yesterday. And even with everything that's going on, I had, I experienced this deep, intense happiness as I was, you know, going through, as I was engaging in that prayer and meditation. And basically the message or the reminder that I was receiving in that moment is, you know, that this is all the upheaval that we're experiencing right now. The drama that feels. That feels so hot and hard at one level is actually just a part of what needs to happen. It's like a part of the healing process in itself, you know, and so the fact that it's happening is actually a really good thing because it's moving the healing forward.

LORALEE: Yes.

SAMIA: And the healing for all of us, for our communities, for our peoples. And so, you know, and it's all happening within a context of our being completely enveloped within God's love, within God's care. And so it's like there was a part of me that, you know, was concerned about things going out of control, and I got the reminder that no, there's no way things are going to get out of control because this is like, it may feel like a big problem to me, but it's like a little tiny no problem for God.

LORALEE: Yeah.

SAMIA: So it's like if I am trying to be the one to control everything, yeah, this is like a huge, big deal. But that's the thing that it's not for me in my ego consciousness, the human self to take control or try to control. It's really about, you know, surrendering to the recognition of, oh no, you know, I'm only, you know, like my job is to just be the instrument, be the channel, if I'm willing of, you know, how God made thing is making the healing happen and sharing the love and allowing people to, you know, experience positive change. But I'm not the one who's actually in control. It's God managing all of this. And so I can just completely relax and be completely confident everything's under control and being taken care of and heading in the right direction for all of us…

LORALEE: For everyone.

SAMIA: Yes. It's like this, the other thing that's so like, you know, it like literally brings, brought tears to my eyes to realize and recognize that, you know, like this is all of this. It's like literally for each and every one of our benefits. Like there's no one who's outside of God's love and outside of God's compassion, outside of God's mercy, you know, so even the people that I might perceive as being bad or doing bad things, you know, actually God loves them just as much and is also leading them just as much as he's leading me to, you know, come back to our source, to reconnect with our ultimate reality, our spiritual essence, our spiritual source, you know.

LORALEE: Yeah.

SAMIA: So it's just so beautiful that, you know, like we can, ho, ha…

LORALEE: You don't have to be in charge the whole planet. You just manage your life, your sphere and what comes into your world, and that's plenty. And then just know that everybody's doing the same and God's, you know, overseeing it all.

And it's…

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: It also reminds me of this concept that I've heard that, in the end anything dark, evil, ugly, painful, it ultimately always is going to serve the light, the good, the upliftment. You know, I was saying earlier of you know, the, like the, the woman who's being abused, you know, it's like using... It's all about the reminder how we view things. It's like how can you view this experience to your betterment? You know, that's when that horrific thing is now serving you, serving the light and serving your growth and your healing.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: ..it, you know, and everybody's going to have their choice whether or not they want to receive that goodness and that healing. It's always available. Just like you know, the unconditional love, the power, the all the beauty of life, and all the goodness of God. It's always available. It's just whether or not you're going to go to that particular buffet and eat.

SAMIA: Yes. You know, this  one of the classical questions like when I took my philosophy classes, philosophy of whether it was religion or ethics or morality, etc. One of the classical questions that always comes, emphasis problem of evil. You know, it's like, well, you know, it's like why does evil exist? Why is it allowed to exist in a context where, you know, in the frame is if God is all good, if God is all loving, God is all powerful, etc, why does this all good, powerful, loving God allow evil to exist? And you know, what you were sharing about, like, you know, there's, we have to have a higher perspective, tap into that spiritual perspective to recognize how everything is serving the light, the darkness is actually serving the light. And so for us to have the humbleness to be open to that idea and to seek out the, or not seek out, but rather cultivate the awareness that allows us to see that reality, experience that reality.

LORALEE: Yeah, yeah. And I think that also speaks to, you know, when it's like why does this allow? It's almost like a child saying why did my mother spank me? Or whatever. Why did, why is there bad things? And it's coming from, at this point, I, what it perceives to me as is coming from a point of not a very developed sense of self or of consciousness. And it's coming from a place of I don't have any power. I'm a victim in some manner because he's done to me. Things are being done.

SAMIA: Yes.

LORALEE: Rather than again reframing it and seeing it from a higher perspective, as you said of having this deep knowing that everything ultimately serves the upliftment and unfoldment and that life is not a scary, threatening thing, you know, that life is not an unsafe place, you know, and people can argue with that and say, well, this and this and this. And then you could say, well, look at the consciousness of those people doing those things to create that type of an environment. That's those people's choice. It's not the underlying reality of what's available, you know.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I mean, that's like a really difficult thing to accept when you are sort of stuck in the darkness, as it were, to be like, oh, what? This is my choice. I'm choosing to be in this darkness. Why? I'm not crazy. Why would I choose to be suffering in darkness? You are... You're the one who's crazy.

LORALEE: Yeah, that's the station to heal and to ultimately step into one's power, which is what will move you out of that environment.

SAMIA: Yeah. And I think, like, for me, one of the analogies or one of the realizations that has really helped me to come to terms with this whole, you know, dilemma or question of, you know, evil and why it exists is to recognize that it's actually, it's that God, I mean, our Spiritual Source, the Divine, whatever terminology we want to use, I mean, the love that has created all of us, that sustains all of us, it's an unconditional love and it never forces us to do this or to do that, to choose this or to choose that. I mean, literally, like in the Quran, it talks about how God sends us guidance. You know, it's like, do this... If you do this, it'll be better for you. I highly encourage you. I recommend you all kinds of things to encourage you and guide you. And I want you to do this because it's really, really good for you. But God doesn't force us exactly to do any of that. We can choose to be like, no, God, I'm going to go do this other thing.

LORALEE: Yeah, it. Another thing. You can look at it is too. It's like when you look at the word evil and then you turn it around, spell it backwards, it's L, I, V, E or live.

SAMIA: Ah, interesting.

LORALEE: And so that to me also speaks of what I was mentioning earlier in our conversation of once you recognize, yes, I have the capacity to make change and instigate and create things. The next question. So it's like, I have the power to do things the very next question is, what are you? What's your value, your core ethic and what you're committed to? Is it towards life, living, unfolding, blessing, doing good, honoring life? Or are you going to use your energy and your consciousness to do evil, which is anti-life? Things that destroy the things that don't honor life? And that could be any kind of life, whether it's an animal or a bird or a human or a plant.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: So it's yeah, it's again, it's claiming and recognizing our own power to choose. Nobody's ever going to do it for you, God, the universe.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: It's up to us to decide, am I going to honor life or am I going to dishonor life?

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: And then we unfold and we do our actions, and when we start going down the left path of dishonoring life, we're going to experience the inevitable consequences of pain and trauma.

SAMIA: Right, that's right.

LORALEE: Which are a message to say, hey, is this the direction you really want to be going in? Are you happy with these results? Or do you want to, like, turn around and start honoring life, doing good? Because then you will reap those consequences of having a beautiful, more harmonious experience.

SAMIA:Yeah.

LORALEE: You know, just, just like what you were saying the Quran is teaching. It's like, do this and you'll enjoy your life, you know…

SAMIA: Right. And I mean, it does also warn us that if you don't do this, you will be heading yourself, you will be heading towards darkness, you know. And so there's both of those, right. It's like, and the thing is that, you know, like, on the one hand it seems like, ah, come on, if you like this literally was a question that someone asked me in the content. This was like a few years ago, I was having a conversation among family and friends, and we were talking about family members who have health challenges and those family members choosing to do things that were compromising their health and what we as friends and family can do or should do or how to do what we can to help them change and cultivate better habits. And at some point, like, literally, you know, like, I was taking the stance of, well, with regards to the person in my life that I saw struggling with health issues. And I could, I was like, look, I can see that they're struggling with this issue because of this behavior that they engage in. And then I like that. And I have tried talking to them and supporting them and changing it this and this way, but ultimately, you know, I have, I only go that so far. And I'm not going to force them. I'm not going to put pressure, I'm not going to fight with them to do it. And yeah, and the person that I was talking to, they were like, well, but is that, I mean, if you truly love them, isn't it your duty to stop them? Even if you have to physically hold them back? Like if a child wanted to jump into a, into a ditch or something and that would hurt. You pull the child back. You don't be like, oh, child, fine. You have free will. Go jump…

LORALEE: Yeah. 

SAMIA: And you know, I mean, for me, like there was a moment. Well, I mean that's a very, at one level, a very powerful sounding analogy of, you know, like, yeah, we don't let our kids just, you know... But on the other hand, I'm not dealing with a kid in this scenario, you know.

LORALEE: It's an adult…

SAMIA: An adult. And there have to be like, at some point, you know, we have to create a shift in our relationships where, you know, when we're dealing with an adult that we're like, no, you know what, we have to respect their choices because we cannot force them. Even if we believe what they're doing is hurting them, we cannot force because to be forced, I mean, that can in some ways create more damage.

LORALEE: Absolutely.

SAMIA: And I remember that in the context, like for me, a lot of these values and beliefs that I live by in the context of what allows us to be happy and healthy and to experience healing in our lives. For me, a lot of that goes back to my experience of healing from the trauma of being a survivor of child sexual abuse. And I can remember that time in my life where, you know, like my mom, for example, like would try to hug me and kiss me and basically envelop me in her love. And I could not bear it. Could not bear it. I would literally run away and, or literally physically push away, not push her away because I could not bear it, you know, and I hated like the even though, I mean it was an expression of, oh yeah, your mom is trying to hug you and it's an expression of love. But when you are not ready to receive feels like another torture…

LORALEE: Like an assault.

SAMIA: Like another assault, another trigger of all your trauma to be forced into that, you know, even supposed to be loving gesture. And so like, for me, that memory is so strong that I'm very, very of forcing even my supposed to be love on anyone else. And I'm very, very, very... And I'm very, very appreciative of people who don't their love on me or on anyone else for that matter.

LORALEE: Yeah, it's a touchy, touchy place. And it's like, with any type of parenting even, or interaction, it's like there always is that point where it's like you have to just let them go and let them have their choices and, and if there's the thing within saying, but I have to, I can't give up, I have to keep pushing and you know, trying to push my, enforce my agenda, then that's an indication of, oh, you need to look at your intentions, your fears of what comes up for you.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: If this person chooses whatever they choose.

SAMIA: Yeah.

LORALEE: You know, and it's, they're going to continue being wherever they're at until they hit rock bottom. That's the only time they're willing to change is when the pain is so great that they've said enough is enough is enough and nobody can, nobody knows what that point is for another person. And you have to let them go to that point. That's the only way they will choose to heal.

SAMIA: Yeah. Otherwise what ends up happening is you just keep delaying. It's like, you know, somebody is on their journey where, you know, they're not ready for certain. They're not ready to recognize certain things.

LORALEE: Yeah.

SAMIA: They're not ready to face certain realities. They're not ready to receive love in a certain context or whatever.

LORALEE: Yeah.

SAMIA: And you see them heading towards their rock bottom, but you're so worried about them, you keep pulling them back. And momentarily it seems like a good thing because you have just saved them to stand from some pain for a little while. But the thing is, you're really fighting a losing battle.

LORALEE: Yeah.

SAMIA: You know, if someone, I mean, is unwilling, not ready for something, you can only keep pulling them back or holding them back so long so far without, you know, creating even more damage. You know, and again, you're just elongating everyone's suffering. You're elongating their suffering. You're elongating your suffering because you are now you have taken on this responsibility, the stress, you know, that, that ultimately, again, is a losing battle. So, you know, then you have to deal with facing that crash of, you know, when you finally do give up because you cannot go any further yourself.

LORALEE: Yeah.

SAMIA: You know, then you have that much more to recover from and then, and so does this other person that you've been trying to help. Everyone's suffering and misery has just been elongated.

LORALEE: Yeah. It's like it's originating with a good intention, but then it turns sour and it starts to ferment and grow mold. And it's just... Yeah, it's just not... And it's. So that's where. It's like the inner wisdom of knowing when to say no and still valuing that, that is a big expression of love itself. Love for you, love for the other person. And it's trusting in the universe and the flow of life, of the God will take care of them and in their own due time, then they will do what they need to do. But it's... Yeah, that is a big lesson right there of knowing when to say no and not allowing the guilt trips from other people and all the chatter to kind of beat you down. But say no, this. I love you enough to let you fall on your face.

SAMIA: Yeah. And you know, man, and just when I recognize that in the context of my human experience, it just makes me so grateful for God. And God lets us fall in our face.

LORALEE: Yeah. The Divine Wisdom…

SAMIA: Doesn't force us…

LORALEE: Yes.

SAMIA: You know? Loralee, it's like you... I just. I want to keep talking and it's like, ah, you always do this. You always like, make me want to keep talking. Keep talking. And we have to…

LORALEE: ..there's always so many good things. Yeah, for sure.

SAMIA: Thank you again so much, Loralee, do you have any last words you would like to share... I'm sorry I had to interrupt you…

LORALEE: No, I just. Thank you so much. I've truly enjoyed all of our conversations and it's... I think that the closing thought would just be to invite your listeners and your audience just to really spend time to go inside and discover who they really are, you know, without all of the... Peel away all of the programming, the social conditioning and all the stuff they've been taught about how they're supposed to be and who they're supposed to be and, you know, just let all of that go and just find your true self and then live from that and everything else falls into place.

SAMIA: Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for that. And my only last reminder to you, our audience, is please make sure you check the show notes because we will be dropping Loralee's links in there so you can connect with her and continue to learn from her and with her and get the help and support you need whenever you're ready for it. So until we connect next time, I wish you lots and lots of peace and joy. :)