Fail, Grow, Win: The Real Cycle of Success
with Shaun “Mr. Motivation” Murphy & Samia Bano

Want a practical framework for success?

Army veteran, college dropout turned professor, author, CEO—Shaun’s journey proves you can reinvent yourself at any stage. This episode is a masterclass in resilience, grit, and rising stronger every time.

Shaun breaks down his 5M formula and shows how mastering these pillars can transform your life, career, and impact.

He shows how struggles you’re facing right now aren’t random—they’re preparing you. Discover how to reframe obstacles as training for your next level and build unstoppable resilience.

And So Much More!

ABOUT SHAWN:

Growing up in Brooklyn without a father and overcoming enormous personal and professional challenges, Shaun Murphy, Mister Motivation, has become a motivational powerhouse. He's a U.S. Army veteran and an educator who rose to national prominence with Teach for America, even catching the attention of CBS Evening News and receiving a Michelle Obama Service Award.

Shaun's presentations are legendary for their dynamic energy, blending hip-hop cadences with heartfelt truths that move audiences from tears to laughter. His upcoming book, "Unbreakable Valor: Triumph Through the Soul of Resilience," encapsulates his life philosophy.

Learn even more and connect with Shaun at: https://mister-motivation.com/

To Book your Free HAPPINESS 101 EXPLORATION CALL with Samia, click: https://my.timetrade.com/book/JX9XJ

#PersonalGrowth #SelfLove #Motivation #MindsetShift #SuccessMindset #FailureToSuccess #Resilience #SelfImprovement #EntrepreneurMindset #GrowthMindset #LifePurpose #InspirationDaily #MotivationalSpeaker #InnerWork #ConfidenceBoost #Empowerment #MentalStrength #SuccessTips #PositiveMindset #SelfMastery #DreamBig #LifeLessons #SpiritualAwakening #liveyourbestlife #liveyourpurpose

Here's the audio version of this episode:

Transcript Automatically Generated

SAMIA: Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, Privet, Mabuhay, and Dzień Dobry…
It's really, really awesome to be with you again. And I know you will be so glad you have joined us today because we have a very special guest with us.
And that is Shaun Murphy, who is also known as Mr. Motivation. Welcome, Shaun.

SHAUN: Hey, hey, what's up, good people? How are we doing?

SAMIA: We are doing really well and really happy to have you with us. And, Shaun, please, please, please tell us more about who you are and what you do.

Yeah, yes. So, oh man, I'm streaming live from Massachusetts area. But I'm from Brooklyn, New York.

But I wear Barbados. And about me, man, grew up single parent household. My mom's from Barbados.

So it was her and I, my younger sister. I am army vet. I spent eight years in the military.

A lot, a lot of failure, a lot of bouncing back. And we will probably get into some of that college dropout. Now I'm a college professor.

I teach a course on how to be successful in college. Once, never used to like to read and write. And now, you know, have my journal, Amazon Bestseller, my book, Unbreakable Valor.

I just won a global book award. I now, you know, man, founded a nonprofit focused on increasing, well, decreasing that scarcity mindset and empowering military veterans, youth and adults to live out their max potential. Recently, came CEO of Worcester Major semi-pro basketball team.

So you can see I've dabbled. I've never been the one to be on one career track, you know, but I just believe that anything I do, I will excel once I get 100%. So I'll pause there, you know, actually, my biggest thing, I'm a national speaker.

So I speak, that's Mr. Motivation. I speak on empowerment and embracing failure. You know, I fail, I grow, I win.

Like that's a cycle of success. And one of the things I do different than, you know, speakers is I infuse spoken word in music. So I'm also a musician.

I do my rapping, my hip hop, my vibing. So the goal is to use it as a vessel to connect with people on a global scale.

SAMIA: Yeah, I love it. I love it. And I'm to really appreciate somebody who dabbles in lots of things.

Oh my gosh, I've been like that too in my life. And I think like that speaks to curiosity in our characters. That is such a valuable asset, I think.

SHAUN: Yeah, yeah, and I agree. I agree. And I tell people, you know, society will have you go down this societal norm.

You know, you got to do this in four years, do this in two. And I say, you get curious, right? Because one, you're going to meet dope people along the way.

And from them, you get to learn about their experiences and you can learn and say, you know what? Either I'm going to try that or I'm all set. But it gives you an opportunity to really expand your mind.

And there's a quote, it said, whenever your mind is expanded or introduced to a concept or idea, it expands and it can never go back to its original form. You know what I mean? And that's when you just got to get more curious and just keep pursuing that curiosity.

So I like that you connected that.

SAMIA: Yeah, so you know what I want to ask you? The question that can mean the most to me is like, especially for people like us, you know, who seem to have like all of these different interests, be going in all these different directions, at least to try them out. What is the point and purpose of life?

SHAUN: Great question. And you know, the point and purpose of life, you know, there's three questions. Whenever I coach a mentor, I have people answer these three questions.

Who are you? Right? Who are you?

Where are you? Right? Like, where are you now versus where you want to be?

And, you know, then the steps to get there. But where are you like doing that self audit? And then why are you here?

And that speaks to the question you asked me. Why am I here? But for me, I think it's about expansion, right?

You're here to help people because it's not about you. And once you understand that, you start to grow and you start to really embrace living. I live one of my Army values that I've been married to a selfless service.

I put the welfare of others before my own. And when you think about one of my learnings, I read out the Go Giver. You know, you got to lead with giving.

You know, a lot of us, I had to chase the money, I had to chase in the bag. But when you pause and you start to give and you get in alignment with the universe, you're gonna start to see, there's six laws of stratospheric success. And the last law, again, the last law is the law of receptivity, when you allow yourself to receive.

It's gonna come back to you. You just gotta move in the spirit of giving. And I think that's, you know, I think I was reading some of your stuff that speaks about like joy and love.

You gotta be grounded in those principles. And then it speaks like your why. And for me, it's expansion.

How do I help more people? I created a platform, because I was teaching, I'm tapping into 20, 30, 40 students a semester, but I'm like, you know what? There's somebody in Australia that needs this source.

There's somebody in Japan that needs to hear my why. And I'll tell you this, when I got into music, and it blew my mind, because I have no music background. I just pressed play, you know, Jay-Z got biggie.

And when I decided to do this thing that I had no, you know, historical knowledge of, and I pushed out this song called Why. It's more spoken word, it got a hip hop hook. Somebody from France, I think they DM me on IG, and they say, Mr. Motivation, listen, I just wanted to tell you, your song Why saved my life.

I'm like, I was like, and it hit me, because you know, I'm doing the thing, because I wanted to do it, it was hard, I pushed through. But when you realize how much you impact others, then that was my reason for going into this, that lane. But you, listeners and viewers, you impact people.

You may not even know it. I'm gonna encourage you, keep showing up, keep living in your purpose, and really chase what's your why, and why you're here, and then live in that and walk that path.

Yeah, I love that. I love that. You know, when you were talking, you made me think about a teaching.

This is in the, well, I learned it in the context of studying the teachings of Krishna, is one of the, you know, in the Hindu philosophy, they have many incarnations of gods that they believe in. So Krishna is considered one of the incarnations of god that came on earth to guide humans and so forth. And it's interesting, you know, you know, people obviously interpret his teaching of Swimming in Different Ways.

And in one of the interpretations, they, that, you know, Krishna came to teach humanity about love, how to love and be loved. And when Krishna was basically talking about, how do you love and how do you be loved? He was talking about this idea of, you know, you have to think about others and serve others.

There was this really powerful situation when he was counseling someone who was deeply hurt and traumatized by a great injustice that was done to them. And he said, you know, in this moment, you need to rise above your own individual pain, thinking about your own individual pain and suffering and think about how you can serve others.

With what you have learned through this really dramatic, painful experience and injustice that you have gone through. And you said that is the difference between getting stuck in revenge versus striving for social justice, you know? It's like when you take your pain and injustice you have suffered and you think about not just about how to help yourself, but how you can help everyone else around you and make life better for everyone, then you can free yourself from the revenge mindset, motivation, and instead become part of creating something bigger, greater, better for all of us.

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. I think one of the things you said is powerful. I was just talking about this. I'm reading this book.

I forget the name of it. Something about the reality. It's one of the books.

SHAUN: I'll be going down the rabbit hole. But it talks about you have to forgive and a connection there. So historically, I'm from Brooklyn, like I told you all, and my dad, he never came to the hospital when I was born.

I never knew him. And at age six, he was a victim of gun violence. And like most men, I'm going to speak for men because that's a lived experience.

We just carried a load. And it wasn't until, man, I'm in my 40s, then I decided to sit still and I just started to write this song. There's a letter to my dad.

And one of the things, like I had to forgive him for whatever. I don't know what he was dealing with at that time, why he wasn't able to be present. And then I even go into the historical traumas.

Who left him? You know what I mean? So you kind of have to get that, we call it tactical empathy.

You become the person and really focus on understanding how they move, why they move in that scenario. And you forgive. You know, one of my songs, I got, I say love your neighbor, even if your neighbor don't love you.

You know what I mean? There's power in that. Because it's not, it's not, they may be projecting something, they may be going through something, but you gotta just, I'ma say it again, live in that selfless service mindset in that mode.

And another thing you talk about with love, we gotta start with self love, y'all. Like, you gotta, like, love, love on you. Like, I love me some more, you know what I'm saying?

And I can't love my girl, I can't love my brother, if I don't love me, right? You know what I'm saying? So you gotta really be comfortable with you, all your flaws.

I remember, and this crazy night, this was an experience, and I've learned this, you know, we gotta live and mature. So when I was little, I had my ears are protruding, and I didn't necessarily dislike my ears, but you know, I dealt with like bullying unexpectedly for my teachers, you know, they would always be clowning my ears, and my mother had to get, I don't know how she did it, we didn't have the money, but we did, I got plastic surgery, you know what I mean? To fix my ears.

And in hindsight, I should have never done that, you know what I mean? Like, I just, like, now I was in the door, I'm like, my only eyes, I'm like, you got a scar back there? So what?

You know, I had to grow to that. I had to go through these traumas, and a lot of time, we try to fix things with this on us, around us, to impress people that don't really matter. You know what I mean?

So I'm encouraging y'all, man, you know, listeners and viewers, however you are, whatever you got going on, like, that's you. Embrace it, love you, and if no, if the person or the people can't see the beauty in you, like, they don't need to be in your space. You need different people.

You know what I mean? So that's just my take on just the love component, and the self-love. I can't say that enough.

I'm gonna tell you, teammate, because we lose a lot of our people in society, too. You know, they just don't think enough of themselves. And one of the things I preach to my, I got a daughter and I got a son.

I said, you are enough. You keep showing up. You know what I mean?

You looking at me, listen, while they were in the womb, I used to say, you know, you're beautiful, you're brilliant, you have a billion in mind and you're blessed. And now they recite that. Like, that's in their core.

They know, you're beautiful. And I want us to, you know, do more of that. Remember, powerful and positive self-talk is what we need to really, you know, reiterate their self-love.

Isn't that, like, really beautiful how when you love yourself, you're actually better able to engage in selfless service?

SAMIA: Ah, I mean, it's, to tell me more about the self-love part, because I think for a lot of people, they get confused when they think about loving themselves. And somehow it seems to make people think that means they have to think only about themselves, or they have to somehow ignore other people during tough times to take care of themselves, because that's what they think self-love is. But you're saying something very different.

SHAUN: Yeah, yeah, I mean, here's the thing. We as humans are selfish people. We want what we want, and we want what we want, you know?

So when you're worried about yourself, people are like, no, no, no, no, focus on me. It's about me. So you got to listen.

If you don't prioritize you, who will? Think about it. Who's going to prioritize you?

And I'm telling you, a lot of it is sometimes, and there's a book, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind. I think TR. Harv, I may be jacking up his name, but he talks about like your origin story, right?

How did your family or whoever you grew up with talk about you? How did they make you feel? Did they make you feel like you was beautiful?

Did they make you feel like you was enough? Cause sometimes we take that, those are our mind files. Like, you know, I'm not worthy.

You know, my daddy said, oh, you look crazy, you're scrawny. No, no empowering words. And you grow up with that in your mind faster.

You gotta now look and say, you know, self, this is who I am, this is who I wanna be. I wanna love me more. You gotta go back in time and label that thing and rewire your mind.

You gotta hit control or delete because your mind's like a computer. You gotta wipe that, all those files out of there and reprogram it. You know what I mean?

I am enough. I'm enough. I love me.

And I'm a Brooklyn dude, so I walk with a different kind of swag. I got that. It's me against the world, that cocky New Yorker.

And they say it's conceit, they say it's confidence. I say, I understand me. I love me, and this is how I'm showing up.

It don't matter what you think. And I need us to, I'm gonna send that energy to you. So you gotta embrace it.

Don't laugh at what the people say. Just you versus you. I actually had a show on Me Vs. Me, and they talked about that battle you have with yourself. And you are the top priority. I always say, you're the CEO of your life.

Everything goes through, it starts with you. And when you embrace that, that notion, boy, it don't matter what nobody say, I'm what, cause here's a quote I always tell my kids. Any room, listen to listeners and viewers, this is for you.

Any room you walk in, guess what? That room just got better, okay? Because you showed up, cause you were important, cause you were enough.

And I need you to have shoulders strut, head up high, and show up and show out. And that's where it starts. But you gotta reprogram your mind, you gotta feed your mind with positivity, you gotta say those positive affirmations, those aphorisms over and over and over.

You gotta put, tap into your subconscious, retrain the subconscious. You get me? It's work.

Especially if you got your traumatic upbringing and you've been through some stuff and you lack confidence and all the things now, this won't take work, but it's possible.

SAMIA: Yeah. And so to tell me, how do you go from building yourself up in that way, taking care of yourself, loving on yourself, to then moving towards selfless service? What's that all about?

SHAUN: So, for me personally, well, I mean, what it is is this is a poem, Langston Hughes, Mother of the Sun. Life for me ain't been no crystal stair, but Ozzy kept climbing. Let me tell you, y'all, I think, you know, we go through a lot in life.

We have these challenges and these setbacks. And when we're in the moment, we're like, oh, why me? Not again, I can't catch a break.

But here's what's happening. See, you're going through these struggles and these setbacks, but your core is getting built. Your inner core is getting built.

Your outer shell is getting built. Your mind is getting built. For where you supposed to be in the future, right?

So for me, even though, you know, I had my setbacks and I was in my dark places, I would always say, cause I'm from the dirt and I would think, you know, well, it can't get worse than how I grew up. You know what I mean? Or I would think of a challenge.

I just got to, I'm like, it could be worse, you know? And I have that mindset and I pair that with the fact that whenever we go through a struggle or setback or a challenge or obstacle, we got to find that empowering thing that's in the scenario that we can extract and use as the lesson. Oh, this is why I'm going, oh, I needed to learn how to be patient.

Oh, I needed to sit still. But when you go in through it, it don't seem like that. Just like now, we live in a history.

This history, these are historic times. They don't, they feel like another Tuesday, another Wednesday wherever you are in the world. But in 5, 10, 15 years, we're going to look back on this day, on this year and say, wow, that was history.

So when you're in it, it just feels like you're going through the motions. But treat it like it's that it's significant, right? And I'm going to encourage you, we have to go through the storms.

We have to go through the storms. We got to go through the test life send us in order to have what? The testimony.

So I'm going to encourage you. This is hard. When you're going through the challenges stuff and things are not going your way, to stay optimistic, to be hopeful, to say there's got to be something here for me to like, remember, you got to seek this out.

Here's a quote. I found the 10-acre lot because I was looking for the 10-acre lot. So if you're looking for that empowering thing, if you're looking for the lesson, you're going to find it.

SAMIA: True, true, true.

So, like, the tests in life, the challenges, not something for us to run away from, or not, you know, it's...

Like, I, especially when it comes to our kids, I have actually been noticing how much, like, sometimes, because we want to protect them, we, you know, we want them to be safe and happy and healthy. And so we almost think of difficulties and challenges as a bad thing. We want to make their lives challenge free, problems free.

We want to solve everything for them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it comes from a place of, you know, like, and like, you love your kids, so you want the best for them and all of that.

But, it's like, hey, you know, it's like maybe we're in some ways doing a disservice. So that means we try to make things too easy for them.

SHAUN: Yeah, you know, you know what? So I think about, so my kids, they're about nine and seven. My daughter's nine, my son's seven.

So there's this running series. I'll draw an example. They start at age two.

They give them the little bib with the number, and they go run their little race. And for the first year, it's spring and the fall, I would drag my daughter over the line. Like, she's like, oh, we're going to run, we're going to run, we're going to run this.

And then the next season will come, and she crying, and we drag, we're going to go. So then year two comes, and some parents are saying, you know, they don't like it, it was hard, and they won't come back. I say, bring them back.

And that's what I did. And then we drag a little bit, then she started to like it. So by the second year, she's crushing it.

She's competing at a high level. She's on the podium, second place, first place. Oh, now we're going to the one mile, now we're going to the mile and a half.

I think, and this is me, opinion loosely held, you build resilience. You know what I mean? They don't like this.

It's hard. I don't want to put them back in it. And this is within parameters safe.

This is track and field. This is running. And you make them push through.

Here's the thing, when they get to age 10, 15, they have already experienced what it feels like to lose. They would experience what it feels like to not be first, to struggle to get over the finish line, to then be better, to then win, to then win at the highest level. What have we done there?

We're setting them up for success. And I'm guilty of, you know, I was talking to my daughter the other day, she's so grown, nine. And I said, babe, I just, I want to teach you everything I know so you can just sidestep the hurdles in life.

And listen, she's in the backseat. I said, daddy, you know, I gotta live my life though. This girl.

I mean, she gets it. I don't get it. I want to protect.

SAMIA: So I hear you. And I'm saying in the same parallel that I push them and I put them in these uncomfortable situations because this is where they're going to build their resilience. And this is the best thing we could do for them because it's almost a controlled environment.

SHAUN: When they get, you know, 18, 19, 20, they out in the world. And we can only hope that they retain what we taught them. But in this instance, and this is for parents that have the toddlers and, you know, the young adults, put them in that thing.

They don't want to do this. Throw them in it, you know, and let them build that resiliency. So that's my take on that.

But I definitely think, you know, I feel you two on just coddling and I want to make sure you, you know, could think about it. We want them to have better than we did, right?

SAMIA: Yeah.

SHAUN: So that's the thing that I think is grounded in. It's not necessary being super overprotective. I just want you to be better than me.

SAMIA: So yeah.So, tell me a bit more about connecting this idea of, you know, allowing yourself to go through challenges, struggles so you can learn resilience. And in the meantime, like, how do you maintain self-love? Because I think what happens for a lot of people is if they find themselves struggling, if they find themselves failing at something, it impacts their psychology, their mindset.

And yeah, in a negative state, where they think they're not worthy, or they're less than, they're not good enough, this and that.

SHAUN: Yeah, well, here's the thing. One of my philosophies, I call it the cycle of success. I fail, I grow, I win.

So what that means is, you know, I'm going through life, I'm doing this thing, I'm not good at it. All right, I'm gonna struggle. I just gotta realize it's gonna take time.

So, excuse me, what happens over the course of time, you learn from the failure. Oh, I did this right. I remember, I mean, switched up in pivot.

You're growing mentally. You're like in real time, you're getting better. I know not to do these things.

I'll give you a real life example. I started a hair company back in the day. I was bald, you know, but I, I ain't know about Peruvian and Brazilian, but I can sell it.

But the company was a fail, right? Numbers wise, but I learned so much. Like I learned, you don't need $3,000 in inventory if you don't have any pre-orders.

So my next business, hello, I grew because I learned from the failures of the first business. And then it just cycles up and then you eventually win. There's a book, Go For No. Because a lot of us in society, we are afraid to fail. And I tell you, that's the greatest teacher, right? Go For No talks about the five levels of failure, the ability to fail, which we all have, the wantingness to fail, the willingness to fail, you're willing to fail, right?

Then you got to want to fail big and fail faster. Right? That's what you want.

And then the last one is wanting to fail exponentially. So if I have a team of 10 people and we all pushing failure to get big and fast, we're gonna get to where we need to go even faster because you have a whole team of people chasing failure. So in the book, it talks about, you know, if you're a real estate agent and you make a goal, I want to sell, you know, 20 homes this quarter, and you hit your 20 mark, you stop.

But if you say, I want to get 100 no's, you may sell 60 because you're gonna push past that limit. So you gotta set those failure goals, and you gotta be all right with failure. There's a book, what's his name?

Chris Vorse, Never Split the Difference. He said, you gotta go for no. You want, I want to hear no because when you tell me no, the negotiation now begins.

You see what I'm saying? Don't run away from no. No means next opportunity.

You gotta tell me no, I'm coming back. So I want to help change the narrative. Failure is not a bad thing.

You're not going to be as excited, but that's why another thing I tell you, embrace the small wins. Embrace the small wins. Just try to stack small win on top of small win.

What do you do? You start to build momentum. Right?

Now you see progress. Progress translates to happiness. Now we're going to come back to self-doubt, to the worrying, you know what I mean?

Cause you got some momentum going. And I think you just ride that train. And when you get a win, you celebrate that day.

Big, small, or huge. So that's my thinking as it relates to like failure. I've changed my mindset because I used to be, I used to have the victim mindset.

Blaming and complaining. This is your fault. Why you ain't help me?
Then I had to think, you know what? I'm the hero of my story. Nobody's coming to save me.

I gotta figure it out. Right? And that goes back to seeking clarity, seeking mentorship, seeking self-mastery.

Like you gotta be on a journey daily. What did you learn today? What did you get better at today?

You get me? So that's my thinking as it relates to that.

SAMIA: Yeah. Love it. Love it.

SHAUN: Motivation. Money management and massive movement. Oh yeah.

Remember, no one's coming to save you. No one. This rescue mission is your responsibility.

You can't build an empire with an employee mindset. All right? You gotta have not even an entrepreneur mindset.

You gotta have an empire builder mindset. Motivation. You gotta fuel your purpose.

Every day, blank canvas. Paint the life you want. Every day is a blank canvas.

What is your why? What is your reasons for wanting to push forward? Because life's gonna throw it all at you.

How will you respond? That's the big question. How will you respond?

Money. Chasing money. Paper chasing.

I'm encouraging you. The secret to success is giving. That's the level.

Giving anonymously is a higher level. But that's the key, man. Your influence is your income.

Okay, here you go. I'll just talk to the people.

I just really loved what you shared about the different levels of failure.

I mean, and just this idea of, you know, failing your way to success, it is actually one of my favorite ways to think about, like, life experiences that are challenging, because it's just... Like, when you think of failure and you think it's a bad thing, then you want to run away from it. You want to avoid it.

But if you think of it as, oh, this is actually a good thing because I'm getting to learn stuff that's going to actually lead me to success, then it's like, yeah, I want to embrace it. I am willing to fail. I do want to fail bigger and faster.

Right. Yeah, and it takes time to get there, you know? We all have belief systems.

So it's whatever belief system you subscribe to. See, for me, I have failed so, oh, my goodness, I stay failing. But I know that if I am consistent and I'm committed to that thing, I'm going to push through.

I know, like, I back me. And I'm so, I tell you, listeners and viewers, don't get wrapped up in the outcome. I mean, you go stumble your way to hitting the goal.

It's the process. If you marry, get married to the process, if you fall in love with the process, if you fall in love with boredom, you fall in love with those things, you're going to get where you got to go. And it's not even about the outcome.

It's about who you become on the way to hitting the goal objective. You got to change. You know what I'm saying?

Like you, you have to become a different person. The person six months out is different. You got new habits.

You got new routines. Your mindset's different. Like you want to get there.

You know what I mean? I want this. When I tell you, chase the no's, because every no gets you closer to what you want.
Every no gets you closer to the win. And I have that, man. Yeah, I found this.

I sent my team this video the other day. I needed them to understand what I'm feeling. And this is a Sean Diddy Combs video.

He had just signed something, got the VMAs to change something. He said, I'm a beef, I'm a savage. Anything I want, I get.

And you gotta have that mentality. You gotta have that mentality. Because everybody's gonna tell you no.

And you gotta just receive that, let it roll up your shoulder and keep pushing forward. If you don't remember anything I say to you today, embrace the process, fall in love with the process. Don't worry about the outcome.

You, you bet on you, your work ethic, your drive, your commitment, your consistency. You're gonna get the outcome you want.

And how do you decide on what outcome you want? I mean, you know, like, um, because so many times we spend a lot of effort, we build resilience through experiencing failure and stuff. And we get to a destination that we were striving for only to find that, oh, this is not really what I want.

It's not making me happy. It's actually making me quite miserable.

Well, there's something I say that I had this song out. It's actually not out yet. But I say, um, dream big dreams, live them out and dream bigger, right?

So you think, I've known doctors that are just depressed. You're like, he made like six figures. However, his whole life was the dream to be a doctor.

Yeah, she got it. They're a doctor. Now what?

You need something bigger to chase. You need a bigger dream. You know what I'm saying?

So I've been, depending on what year you know me, you might know me as the promoter, party promoter. You may know me as the real estate investor. You may know me as now a CEO of basketball.

So my pro team, speaker, musician. I've reinvented myself so many times. And here, listen, one of the things I think that props up our fear of failure, we don't want to look bad at something.

We don't want to, we don't want to not be good at a thing. Let me tell you something. I'm going to stink the place up.

It'll take me three years. I don't care, because I know it might take me a four or five, but I'm going to get it. Murphy's going to get it.

And you got to really believe in yourself. This goes back to self-love, self-belief. I know anything I do, I'm going to figure it out.

It may take time. We got to be patient. I say it's going to take setbacks.

We got to be patient. You got to trust the process. You got to believe in you.

But you got to be OK. I remember when I first got in the music, my creative director, I couldn't recite my temple to save my life. And he's videoing it.

I have the video. I'm stinking the place up. But regardless of what titles I've had in life, what accomplishment I've had, I'm in this space and I'm the freaking rookie, right?

I got to embrace rookie year. I got to embrace, it may take two or three years of being a rookie, right? I got to see clarity from people younger than me, people that got different backgrounds from me.

I got to be, I got to just be like, oh, okay, I got to be a student. I'm a lifelong learner. You got to be a right, but not being good.

You got to be right with learning from unexpected places and really be a student. And if you want to hit that outcome. So that's been my approach.

It's no secret sauce. It takes work. You got to just say, hey, self, you're not good at this.

It's gonna take some time. And embrace that.

Yeah. You know, what you just made me think about is there's all this talk about AI these days and how AI is going to impact our lives. And one of the podcasts that I was listening to, they were talking about how, especially in the context of learning and education, one of the dangers we need to be aware of is getting to dependent on AI to think for us.

And then we forget to even how to think for ourselves, you know? And, you know, we forget how to research, we forget how to figure out problems and so on and so forth. And we just become too reliant on this.

We have just outsourced, you know, all of this doing on this AI. And then, you know, we can very well lose the capacity of our kids, they may never learn, you know. It's like, they were giving examples of how, you know, in the past, people used to be much better at remembering phone numbers, directions, things like that.

But ever since we got our cell phones, you know, with GPS and there's no need to memorize phone numbers, and now we have lost the capacity, like, you know, so many of us to remember these things and to figure out directions and so forth. And these can be like critical life skills, actually. You can literally find yourself in a dangerous situation and your phone's not working and you can't find your way out of there because you have outsourced this essential skill and now you don't know it anymore.

You can't, literally, you may not be able to save your own life because you have allowed something else to just make life so easy for you, so to speak, that now you can't take care of yourself.

So, having the student mindset and just learning how to even learn is so important.

Yeah, I'll tell you what, I think, you know, I'm a fan of AI. I'm not married to it. I still have a team of like people and I think with AI, like anything else, it's moderation, you know, I think it's moderation.

You know, I'm a thinker. I still think, you know, the way I use ChatGPT and the way other people use it might be different because I like go through, so this is the scenario, these are the things I'm thinking, that are the act like so and so, what would you do? And like, it's a whole conversation, not just, hey, what's the best thing?

Give me five suggestions for this. My prompts aren't like that, you know, because I so I make the AI thing. And I think that's something that is missing, because I've had some of my students see me create a prompt and they're like, all of that?

I'm like, yes. You know what I mean? So I think there's, you know, some education there with the AI, but what was I going to say?

Survival skills, I think, are unmatched, you're always going to need them. Like to me, if this phone goes away, what, am I a handicap, am I a cripple? You know, that don't make no sense to me.

Do I know what North, South, East, and West is without the compass? Like, fortunately for me, I'm military, so I have that background. Now I got to be intentional with making sure my kids understand, you know, look, with the sun, you know, you use your situational awareness, and don't necessarily depend on this device.

And I think that's going to be an important part that we implement with our kids, and you know, just people in general. That survival skill, being able to maintain if they hit the switch and everything goes off. I don't know, you know?

SAMIA: Yeah. Oh, gosh, it's just.

I just say that just learning, it's like, like, you know, for me, so much of it goes back to just us figuring out what it even means for us to be human. Like, again, like, why are we even here? What's the point and purpose of our lives?

Like, what is humanity all about? And so once I think we get a good grounding in that, then everything else becomes more clear and easy.

SHAUN: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know it's fun, I'm on this, like, this quest, I share with you all just the journey of self-mastering. I'm reading, well, I read several books at a time, Becoming Supernatural, Dr. Dispenser.

And just trying, I'm on, how do I use more of my mind? You know, I have a beautiful mind, I need to activate more of it. Like, what's that ascension process look like?

And I think I would encourage you all, and this is a guy I never used to like reading, but it unlocks so many worlds for you, man. You start reading, you start getting curious, and you start just consuming content. You operate at a different level.

You know what I mean? I think that's what it's all about. How we increase our level of efficiency, productivity while we're here.

Like, if I'm here and this is a game of life, how do I max out? What's the highest level of playing as a human? And that's something I'm chasing.

SAMIA: Yeah, so tell me more about in your understanding that you've come to so far.

SHAUN: Yeah, yeah, well, I mean-

Being that highest self, what is that about? What's that, that, yeah, what's the core of that?

Yeah, so, my understanding, tapping into your subconscious, really activating that world, um, deep- subscribing to meditation practice, subscribing to the deep breathing. For me, I'm always on the move.

I'm always playing my brain ever. But I had to learn, I got to sit still. I got to sit still.

Not just talk to the universe. I got to sit still and be patient and listen. You get me?

So that's where I'm at. And you call it my practice. I'm sitting still and I'm waiting for direction.

You know what I'm saying? I want to move intentionally. That's my word for next year, 2026.

Moving with intention. Everything has a, this is the part. And we're doing this because of this and we want to do this.

And then it's a chain of reaction. Remember, everything is causing the fact. So it's all about the choices we make in life.

SAMIA: Yeah. Tell me more about the listening to the universe part. What's that like?

SHAUN: Yeah. I'll tell you this. I remember my music space is new to me and I was sitting in the house, sitting still, practicing what I'm preaching.

And this song comes to me. I grew up spiritual Baptist when I was young in Barbados. But I'm not necessarily super active in like going to church.

But you know, the word and the universe, I'm definitely tapped in to my spiritual leadership. But this song came to me. I speak.

No, I pray. I speak. I meditate and I listen and I listen.

So this is the hook for my song called Songs Wide Open. And I was just like, wow, this literally, I think, just downloaded to me. And I've been really just embracing that.

You know what I mean? And you pray, you speak. But yeah, you got to meditate.

And then you just got to listen for the answers, any questions you answer. Because if you're moving, you ain't going to hear it. You know what I mean?

So you got to just, just sit still, whether it's, you know, with some music, some sounds. I'm getting one with nature, going outside, putting your feet in the grass, listening to the birds in the morning. I think just tapping back to nature, that's what I've been doing.

And you just be surprised, man. You just got to be prepared to receive what's coming. And I think as we go through this life, and we go through these different phases, and challenges, and experiences, it's setting us up to carry heavier weight.

You know what I mean? And that's why you're here, right? So, yeah.

SAMIA: Oh, I love that. I think sometimes we get so busy doing. And you know, we come up with whatever goals, and dreams, and ideas that we have.

But it's like I realize this is like one of the big lessons that I learned in my life that really changed things for me, is that even the biggest dreams that I could dream up from my mind were still really small. If you know, because my dreams were constrained by my experiences of what I knew, what I thought may be possible or not. And I didn’t know a lot.

SHAUN: Even now, I know there's a lot more I don't know than I know. And so no matter how big I think I'm thinking, and in some ways, I'm still very constrained, very limited. And it's just we are so right that we are here to learn, to expand, to grow.

And so when you realize, oh, it's not just all about me. And sometimes I do need to sit still and listen to the universe talking to me, then the universe is like, hey, Samia, look, I'm going to show you a way bigger dream. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like sometimes, I mean, I used to get scared, actually, by the way bigger dreams that were, like, downloading for me.

When I listened to the universe, I was like, I'm not good enough. I don't know enough. I was like, are you sure this is really supposed to be me doing this?

SAMIA: Right, right.

And, yeah. There's a quote that said, your dreams have to be so big that it gives God the opportunity to show you how powerful he is.

SHAUN: Yeah, that's why I tell you, it costs you nothing to dream, you people, you know. And I think a lot of times it's who you hang around because you're around people and you say, I'm going to do X, Y, and Z.

And their response is, how you going to do that? That's the wrong people you're around. But when you're around people that say you want to do X, Y, Z, they say, love that for you.

How can we help? What do you need? What do you think you need?

And they start solving the problem. That's the space you want to be in. So remember, proximity is power.

And then you got to surround yourself when people are going to lift you up. You know, they draining you or they building you up? You got to do that self-order, that friend and family order, and family order.

What are they? Are they adding value to your life? You know what I'm saying?

So I'm going to encourage you to dream. When you're around that good energy, you start seeing a move, you're like, man, okay, I want to do something like that too. And then it inspires you.

SAMIA: Oh, you, like, when I hear you say that makes me think a little bit of a cultural conflict. Right, because, you know, this idea that, you know, you can edit people out of your life if they're not lifting you up. I mean, this is something I hear a lot here in America.

For me, you know, I didn't come to America until I was almost 18. My family, ethnically, we are from India, Pakistan. The way the culture is a lot more collectivistic, and it's not OK to cut your ties with, especially like we're talking about family.

I mean, I guess you could let go of friends. But when it comes to family, oh, my gosh, for someone, for it to be considered OK to cut ties with a member of your family, I mean, the standards are just so, so high. I mean, you go through all kinds of drama in life and trauma in life that you stick together when you’re family, you know?

And I think one of the things that I've had to learn is, well, what do you do when you can't just edit someone out of your life?

And you still want to be able to love yourself and keep growing. But this problematic person, so it feels like they're being problematic, they're going to continue to be around. What do you do?

How do you continue to take care of yourself then and love yourself and keep growing even though they're still there with their negative energy?

You know what? I'll tell you this. She may fight me for this.

My last toxic person in my life is my mom. My mom, she's so stuck in her ways. Everything is like the pessimistic approach.

Suddenly, you got to be careful. Oh, she watches the news, and all the news spit out is negative stuff. I'm like, your mom, it's going to be all right.

But that's my girl through and through. And that's the one pessimist that I would tolerate in life. You know what I'm saying?

She means well, but so I get that part. Like, I can't, I'm not giving mom dukes. Um, but I haven't had to deal with that.

But it takes time, though, because it's hard to do. It's hard to do. If you got friends, you've been friends with them 10, 15, 20 years, and they toxic, and they energy drainers, until you realize that I can't get ahead with this dead weight wrapped around my neck.

SHAUN: That's the first thing, the realization. Then the second thing is, I gotta, I gotta cut sling low. And I've always said, you know, I'm not flying a 747, I'm flying a 20-seater private jet.

Everybody can't go. We got weight restrictions, you know? But that's the mindset I had to adopt and stick with it.

You gotta put them barriers up, like, I don't do this. I can't hang with them. Not even in the tent.

And you say something negative to me? Oh, teammate, that's our last conversation. Because you gotta be overprotective of your space, your energy, you get me?

And I've just subscribed to that. Like, I'm fine with being alone. You know, whenever you're on that journey of ascending, you gotta lose things.

Sometimes it's people, friends, family, you know, old norms, old habits. You gotta let them things go in order for you to push through.

SAMIA: Ah, man, Shaun, I've been having so much fun talking with you and I wanna keep asking you more questions and learning from you. And I just saw the time. It's like, it's time to wrap up for the day.

Do you have any last thoughts you'd like to share?

SHAUN: Oh, man, always, so I mentioned this already, surround yourself with people whose eyes light up when they see you coming. I thought about one of the biggest choices in life, and every morning we wake up, we got a chance and we got a choice. One of the biggest choices, choose your life partner.

From that one decision will come 90 percent of your happiness or misery, your life partner, critical decision. As always, nothing changes if nothing changes. I appreciate you for having me on the platform.

This has been fun.

SAMIA: Oh, thank you so much, Shaun. It has been fun. And for my last reminder, I'm just going to encourage all of you listening to make sure you check the show notes, because we will drop Shaun's links in there so you can connect with him and continue to be motivated by him and learn with him and all that good stuff.

So until we connect next time, I wish you lots and lots of peace and joy.