How Your Personality Type Influences Your Success.
Frankie Martinez & Samia Bano

Want to understand the #keystosuccess in business, relationships, communication and beyond?

Want to know one of the fastest paths to creating #RealChange?

Listen now to this interview with Frankie Martinez, Certified #Hypnotherapist for the greater Los Angeles area and the world. Frankie reveals the power of the #SubconsciousMind and how it directly impacts success, mindset, and #personaltransformation.

Discover:

-- how #personalitytype influences your success

-- how intuition can become #yoursuperpower

-- #keystohealing the subconscious after trauma

-- how to move from #LimitingBeliefs to #livingonpurpose

-- and so much more!

Connect with Frankie now at: https://www.findinglifescompass.com/

To Book your Free HAPPINESS 101 EXPLORATION CALL with Samia, click: https://my.timetrade.com/book/JX9XJ

#MindsetShift #PersonalDevelopment #SelfMastery #InnerWork #EmotionalHealing #TraumaHealing #IdentityShift #BeDoHave #ConsciousLiving #SelfAwareness #Intuition #NervousSystem #ReprogramYourMind #Hypnotherapy #MentalHealthMatters #GrowthMindset #HealingJourney #AuthenticLiving #SuccessMindset #InnerHealing #LifePurpose #SelfWorth #MindBodyConnection #liveyourbestlife #liveyourpurpose

Here's the audio version of this episode:

Transcript generated automatically

SAMIA: Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, Privet, Mabuhay, and Dzień Dobry.
It's really, really good to be with you guys again. And I know you'll be so happy you have joined us today because we have a very cool guest with us.

And that is Frankie Martinez, who's a certified hypnotherapist. And I'm so happy to have you, Frankie. Welcome.

FRANKIE: Thank you. Thank you. Oh, I gotta press OK over here.

There we go. Thank you for having me.

SAMIA: Yes, I'm so happy to have you. And Frankie, please tell us more about who you are and what you do.

FRANKIE: Perfect. No problem. I am a certified hypnotherapist. Been doing it for about, I'm thinking, almost 16 years now.

And I fell in love with the subconscious mind, right? We have our conscious, but the subconscious is something just bigger for me. And what I have been able to do is take this knowledge and really enforce, let's just say, like fun and easy happiness, right?

But it's knowing yourself at a subconscious level that's going to build your career, build your relationships, build who you are, because the one thing that's consistent in your life is you.

SAMIA: Yeah. That is so true. That is so true. And it's, I think a lot of people are sort of familiar now with the idea that we only use a small percentage of our mind. But what that really means is at a conscious level, we are only using a small percentage of our mind. It's not that the rest of our brain is not working or just going to waste.

It's just all the subconscious processing that it's doing and that we are not aware of. And so, it's like if you don't have an awareness or a way to figure out what your subconscious is up to, you're missing so much about what's going on with you.

FRANKIE: Yeah, they say we only use 10 to 12 percent of your brain. And sometimes 13. And so what it means is you're only using 10 to 12 percent consciously.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: Subconscious is 88 percent of who you are.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: And that's the bigger picture, right? And then people are like, how do I tap into it or what is it? And it's just it's memory, it's storage, it controls your hair growth, it controls your liver function, right?

The subconscious is the software that you don't see.

SAMIA: Yeah. Yeah. And so I know one of the things that you do, Frankie, is that not only do you help people figure out what's going on with their subconscious and how it may be impacting them, but you help them understand that in the context of, for example, like if you're a business person, a professional person, how is that impacting you in that context as an entrepreneur, as a professional?

Tell me a little bit more about that.

FRANKIE: All right. Well, when you're an entrepreneur, you're, you know, you're the, you're the cook, you're the farmer, you're the, you know, you got to do so many things, right? And imagine if you're a very introvert person and you have to be outgoing.

It's a little difficult. But the introvert person, and by the way, when I work with people, I always see people, I don't see gender, I don't see, I don't see anything. All I see is this, is this person introverted or this person extroverted in the middle?

Because that's what we are. And once I know that, one, I need to know that because that's how I induce hypnosis. But then I know what your, your, your view of the world is.

Very introverted or very career oriented. I came from a world when I, I used to work in politics, I used to work for a city councilman and a congressman. And this guy was amazing on the podium.

And you get him in one on one, you swore you stole this puppy. Like he's just very quiet, very stoic, and he was a high introvert. And it really gave me a curiosity, like how come he's so charismatic and public, but like you get him in a conversation or just on a one on one, it's just like you're pulling teeth.

You know, you're trying to pull the information out. And what it is, is people that are high introverted, they'll do anything for their career. They're very career oriented.

So they could seem outgoing because it's job related. If I'm more outgoing, then I get the job, I get the program, excuse me, I get the bid, I get the, you know, the money comes to me that way. So they learn how to be more outgoing.

Then you have people that are extroverted. Extroverted people are motivated, not so much by career, by relationship. And so these two attract each other, by the way.

But we're going to stay on, we'll just kind of dip into a little bit, but we'll stay on the entrepreneurship. It's not that they are not career-oriented extroverts, is that they have a tendency to, the reasons for working is to, well, put it this way, when a extrovert, when their relationships are doing bad, their career is doing bad. The relationships are doing great, their career is good.

The opposite for a introvert, if their career is doing bad, then their relationships are bad. So the beauty of it is that, if you're a high introvert in your career, it's good to hire extroverts. You put them at the front desk to be more personable.

Earlier we were talking about, there was a young man that was, I mean, I love going to the gym and working out, and in the locker room, getting changed, and one person after another person just starts greeting him and saying hello, and he has a big smile, he's saying hello to everyone. Like, well, that's a high extrovert right there. I don't know how long to get out of that locker room, but it was just, they have that natural outgoings.

For them, it's funny because I talk about my extroverts, they get called HR a lot, because they have a tendency to want to touch people when they feel connected. They're literally trying to pull them in the conversation. So, when it comes to entreprenuership, the more you know what your strong suits are, the more you'll make that money, right?

You'll know where your weaknesses are at, so you could hire somebody to do that. That's why coaches are really good. So, knowing you're introverted and extroverted, it will help your career, because then, like let's say, if you're, like let's say I'm not a high extrovert, and I'm like, I want to touch somebody, because I noticed they're like disconnected from me.

I will prevent myself, because I know introverts don't like to be touched. Their arm length is their personal space. So, all you do is just say, you start talking to them about their career, and they'll light up.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: To that introvert, if you're that high extrovert. And next thing you know, you're not only just connecting with the extroverts, you're actually connecting also to introverts, by not messing with their personal space.

SAMIA: Yeah. You know, as you were describing introverts and extroverts, and how they behave, of course, I thought about myself, but I will give a different example, because you made me think about someone else as well. And that is, he is one of the biggest movie stars in India, in Indian cinema.

And I mean, you know, I mean, obviously, he's a movie star. And I mean, he has done such a wide variety of roles, where he has played all kinds of, you know, different characters. And obviously, he's doing interviews all the time and lots of fans dealing with them, this and that.

So in one of his interviews, he was talking about how people just assume he's very extroverted. But he was like, actually, I'm shy. I'm a shy person.

I'm an introverted person. But he was like, when I'm in the context of, you know, the job of being an actor, then, you know, it's easy for me to play whatever role, because then it's not me. It's like he was talking about this one movie in particular where he was like, he had to do a scene where he had to be nude.

And he was like, but, you know, I was in that role. I was playing, I wasn't me. I was that person who was that character.

And in that moment, that is what made sense for that person to be and to be doing. And so it was easy for me to do what I had to do. But in my life, I would never behave like that.

FRANKIE: Yeah, yeah, I call that the be, do, have, right? If you could be that person, then do it. Because most of us do things, right?

We're gonna do this and do that. But what if you could just be that person, then you'll do it and then you'll have it faster. He learned how to take himself out of the equation and be that person.

And again, if he's an introvert, like he has really, he has no problem doing it. He just learned how to bring out that side of him in order to be more connective. And you'll see, whoever his significant other is will be super outgoing, very talkative, very chatty, very touchy, like very connective.

Because what you lack, you seek out.

SAMIA: Oh, that's an interesting idea. Wait, so if we could think about this a little bit in the context of relationships, because I can not resist.

FRANKIE: It normally goes there, by the way, but it's very entrepreneurship to understand that every person is in a relationship.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: You know, it's significant other or just a colleague. Every person you talk to is a type of form of relationship. So you're more willing to buy something from a friend, and that you trust, than somebody that just gives you a phone call.

SAMIA: Yeah, of course.

FRANKIE: For instance, I'm going to go there, and then we'll go to relationships. Have you noticed every time you think you look up?

SAMIA: Everything I... Oh, yeah, because I'm that kind of a person. I know that about me.

FRANKIE: So I do something called NLP, and in neuro-linguistic programming, people that look up are very visual.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: You were in Auditorio 2 earlier. You just kind of pulled your ear. So understanding little nuances about other people, that's how you connect to them and being...

And this is where entrepreneurship kind of kicks in. It's understanding somebody else's subconscious. If I want to tell you, I don't know, anything or sell you something, I would say something like, do you see what I'm talking about?

Do you see where I'm going with this? I wouldn't say, how does that sound?

SAMIA: Yes, yes. I actually remember going to an NLP workshop where they were talking about this. We're actually practicing in small groups.

And so we actually dug a little bit deeper. I mean, they gave us some training to look, to figure out these kinds of cues about eye movement and stuff. But also we did a little bit of like questioning the person that we were going to try to sell to.

So and we asked them questions about their values and, you know, general habits when it comes to buying and stuff. And then based on that information, we made our pitch to them for whatever it was that we were going to sell them in the moment. And it was just amazing.

Like I knew what we were doing, right? But when those things were applied to me by whoever I was practicing with, I could immediately feel the difference in terms of my response and my level of willingness to engage and say yes to what they were offering. And you know, it was like in a business context, that's where, like even if you're not one-on-one, but that's why you have to know your ideal client, you know, and you have to make sure like what you're, how you're describing your products, for example, on your website, who are your ideal clients?

Are they seeing and hearing and feeling what they need to see, hear and feel in order to be like, oh yes, this is the right product for me. So that's how we made, we applied that understanding about different people's personalities to the sales process.

FRANKIE: Well, 100%, 100%. It's knowing who you're talking to, right? I always ask the question, what was the name of your third grade teacher?

And then they'll look up, look to the side, they'll touch your face. And it's just mannerisms, right? That you pick up in order to connect with other person.

And also just believing in your product, right? That is, I would say 90% of the time, the hardest thing that you get to convey.

SAMIA: Yeah, it's true. And I mean, I, while I, I mean, there's a, I mean, just so people don't worry themselves too much about not being very good, let's say. Like I, when I first started learning about this stuff in NLP, I was like so overwhelmed.

I was like, oh my gosh, this is going to take me forever to master. But it's like, okay. But even in the meantime, the most important thing, like you said, is if you really believe in what you're offering and you're being genuine and you're authentic, yes, you won't maybe attract everyone to you, but you will attract the people that are most like you and sort of resonate with your energy.

And so you will actually, if you, so it's not like you can't get going or you can't be successful. It's just that once you master more awareness and better understanding, more people who are different than you, then you can become even better and get even better as else.

FRANKIE: 100 percent, it's just, you know, the more you learn, the more you know. And the brain is so malleable, right? You could change your mindset just by the way you speak.

And how you carry yourself, right? And once you understand that, you, I call it being the party, right? Like who wants to be around somebody that's just very sad all the time?

But it's also like the environment you create around you. But first, you create the environment within you to create the environment outside of you.

SAMIA: Yes. That way, you can also do what you're doing in a more authentic way, which, you know, like for a person like me, is really, really important because authenticity, truth, integrity, those are some of my top, top values. Yeah.

FRANKIE: And after a while, you don't have to look for the cues or looking up or looking down. It just becomes second nature. Like, oh, I can connect with them at this level.

All right. So tell me more, you know, and things like that. You had a question about relationships that you wanted to go there.

I want to go back to that. What was that?

SAMIA: Yeah. So, you know, I have heard different theories about, like, what makes partners really compatible in the context of relationships. And I mean, obviously, when we think relationships, we think personal relationships, but like you were saying, it can also very much apply to our professional relationships.

But the idea of you seeking what you lack. And so that's an idea I've heard, like, sometimes. Is that similar to the idea of opposites attract?

Because I've also heard people talking about, like, in terms of especially long term relationships, the necessity of having, like, core things in common. Because that is sort of like the glue of the relationship. It's like, what commonalities you have are sort of like what keep you together.

FRANKIE: Yeah, I know 100%. There's opposites attract. And then you also have that other layer where you want similarities, right?

You want something that, like, I don't know, what's something I do? Like, I love scuba diving. But do I really want, like, I'm going to put this.

I will love somebody that is dating to go with me. But like, it's not a game changer if they don't, they're afraid of the ocean, you know? Like, it doesn't have to.

It's you want that understanding on both ends, right? You want some things that you have, maybe some values that are very similar. But the beauty about what the opposites attract and it lasts along is, to be honest with you, it's… I'll break it down a little deeper.

For instance, I use myself as an example. I am a extrovert defense with an introvert core. But that is, if I get nervous, I'm like all jazz hands, right?

I get more talkative and I start cracking jokes, and I also have to be careful what jokes I say, but things can be a bit constricted. But my core, I'm actually like that Bollywood individual that was shy. My mom was telling me that around seventh grade, and this is actually a proven fact, that my personality shifted.

You were kind of shy, you were quiet, and all of a sudden, it was just couldn't get you to shut up. And what it is, is usually that shy Frankie got maybe offended or it didn't work for him at one point, and he goes, wow, me being shy doesn't work. Let me shift it.

So my protection, when I get nervous, I get very talking about going. So what complements me is somebody that's a little quiet, a little shy, because then it makes me the ambassador of fun, the ambassador of let's go talk to these people. But in the relationship, they're very affectionate with me because they pull me out of my head and into my body.

Because they'll be like, hey, we haven't hugged in a while, Frankie, what's going on here? So it's that balance between the two. The only problem is that if you're like a high extrovert, the kid that I was talking about, he was a high extrovert.

I could just see it. They have a tendency to talk a lot and never get to the point. And what I mean by that is that high extroverts, the reason why they do you know why they like asking this question, do you know why they talk a lot, never get to the point?

SAMIA: No, tell me.

FRANKIE: Because they're thinking and talking at the same time. So if you're an introvert, introverted person and you have talking to somebody and they're just like overwhelming you, you might snap and go get to the point already. And unfortunately, you're just cutting off their thought process.

It doesn't work. Right? Now, the opposite happens if you're very high introverted.

You talk a lot in your head. And what comes out is very direct.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: Right? Hey, do that right now. Why?

What do you mean why? It's very simple. Don't you see?

You know, like, if only you were in their head listening.

SAMIA: Yes. Yes.

FRANKIE: You do clash because of that, by the way.

SAMIA: Yeah. I can actually see a little bit of both of those things in myself. And I have shifted over time how I am also.

I think when I was young, girl, I was a very traumatized child. I went through major trauma in my childhood. And actually that created a huge shift.

Like, I was known, like, before I experienced my childhood trauma, I used to be known to be extremely talkative and just very outgoing. But after my experience of trauma, I became very silent and quiet. And I remember, like, in those traumatized years of my life, I used to be, like, constantly active in my mind, like, constantly talking, talking in my mind.

But nothing, almost nothing would come out of my mouth. And so, like, person after person, even in all my report cards through school, it was, like, such consistent feedback that I'm a quiet child. They said quiet, but I knew I was actually silent.

But as I have healed and been getting better and better in the context of, you know, my trauma recovery and healing, I've just sort of gone back, I guess, to my natural pre-traumatized…

FRANKIE: I'm going to cut you off because I got a gift for you. All right, you're ready? So I named others extroverts, introverts, but there's one in the middle.

SAMIA: Okay.

FRANKIE: I am a hypnotherapist, right, with Subconscious Business Coaching, but you have hypnotists, right? I use hypnosis to get the results you're looking for.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: A hypnotist is what you see on stage.

SAMIA: Uh-huh.

FRANKIE: They love, love getting people in the middle. Now, my question to you.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: On a scale of 10, being really high and zero being nothing, how's your intuition?

SAMIA: Now, it's really high. I mean, because I've learned, actually, I've been deliberately, like I would say, like maybe some seven years ago, I started working with a coach and they were the ones who introduced me to the idea of, oh, tap into your intuition, listen to your heart. And so ever since then, I've been deliberately cultivating that as a major aspect of how I am.

And so now I'm highly intuitive, I would say.

FRANKIE: So what's your number? My introvert kicked in. I went, okay, so what's your number?
Do you see how that works? Like introverts are like, okay, I just need a number. I just need a number.
You're an extrovert. So you had to go the thought process, right?

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: So just tell me your number.

SAMIA: In terms of how introverted or extroverted, or how intuitive I am. I have never actually been asked that question, but I would say a good eight, nine out of 10 because I'm definitely way above average, but I'm not the best. Like I know lots of people who are way more intuitive than me.

FRANKIE: Perfect. So just know that what you said is limited to belief, so be careful with that. I would say your intuition is always been extremely high. It's just now you're more aware of it.

And so what happens to us, because I was like you, I went through quite a bit of trauma as a kid, and as kids, we don't have this. We don't have conversations. We have like, I need something from an adult.

Are they happy right now? So you're constantly feeling their vibe. And if it's a parent or a figure that's constantly no, no, no, and they're very aggressive, we know even before they get to the house, if it's a safe day or not.

And that's, you're either born this way, or you just kind of grew up this way. That's how your intuition grows. The beauty of it is that you're very intuitive, but and you know how to feel if somebody is safe and somebody's not safe.

Right? And that's when we go through trauma, that's how it comes about.

SAMIA: So that, just to clarify, when you say it, when you experience trauma, that's how it comes about. What do you mean?

FRANKIE: What comes about your intuition as a kid? Oh, so either you're born with intuition or you, you had to cultivate it in order to survive.

SAMIA: Right.

FRANKIE: And so we use in hypnotherapy, fight or flight, in order to tap into your subconscious. What happens when you're very scared, right? Your eyes open up, you take a deep breath, you're like, what's going on, right?

You're taking all the senses in. Tuition also kicking in, fight or flight is intuition. So you're using your intuitiveness to make it safe around you.

So you pick up people's vibes, they're like, ooh, I don't know who that is, but my intuition is telling me that's not a safe person. And as a kid, you'll pick that up more. Like, ooh, I don't want to be around that person, right?

You'll stay away. You'll see that too. Children will gravitate to one person or they won't gravitate to another person.

SAMIA: Yeah, it's interesting you bring that up because at least consciously, what I remember of my experience is, I mean, I was a very trusting child. So I don't know if I was, I don't know how intuitive I was in terms of being able to figure out how safe a person was or wasn't, because what happened is that the trauma I experienced was the trauma of child sexual abuse. And that really messed up me in terms of being able to trust my own self and my judgments of people, because like for me…

FRANKIE: You're doing it consciously, you're doing it subconsciously. You're unaware of it. You weren't going like, I'm not going to stay, you know, like you don't do that.

SAMIA: But after experiencing the abuse, I just couldn't trust anyone. I couldn't even trust my own judgment because I was like so messed up. The person who abused me was someone that I had loved.

They were a member of my extended family. And so I just I just I just totally lost it in terms of being able to to even trust my own judgment after that. It's that was one of the most difficult impacts of the trauma that that I had to deal with.

And was one of the most difficult things to to face in terms of doing something about it because it prevented me from asking for help. Because I couldn't trust. Yeah.

FRANKIE: Yeah. So you get very high alert. Very, you know, and so intuitive people, I love working with them. All I have to do is get them back to be grounded.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: Because they take in information and they don't let it go. This is where they attract a lot of narcissistic people. Intuitive people are very, I don't know, they're very, excuse me.

We are very outgoing, very like connective to people. We sometimes take too much information and make it our own, right? I always say they could hit the lottery, but if you're on somebody negative, all of a sudden they're just negative too.

So I love working with the intuitive people is once they understand their superpower, then they know how to protect themselves. They know how to ground themselves. How not to attract a narcissist because they love, love you and would love to abuse you too.

SAMIA: Yeah. Yeah, that's a very, very important insight that you're just sharing is that, you know, no matter where you are, in terms of different characteristics that we have, there's downsides or like things you need to watch out for, things that can get you in trouble in terms of that particular characteristic. But there are also upsides to that.

And so to be aware of both so you can be more, avoid the pitfalls.

FRANKIE: 100%. And yeah, yeah. You know, and my introverts have a pitfall where they seem cold all the time, right?

And then my extroverts have a pitfall where they're just too much for somebody. People in the middle, you know, their pitfalls, they'll follow anything, right? So once you know what works for you and doesn't work for you, right?

Like even the young man, when I was talking to him today, he was like, oh, I'm turning into an introvert right now. So I just get, I give him a good handshake. I said, catch you later.

I recommended a book and then I was able to leave. But he wanted to continue. So the thing is, it's not one is wrong and not one is better.

It's just we need the other half, right? And that's the relationship part of it. We need that half.

And then when it comes to the business side of it, I like coming to saying, if you have an introvert and you know it, they're gonna push your buttons. They need the hard sell. Because then they're like, they feel better that they got what they needed.

And they need a discount, basically, because they want to fight you. And then the extrovert, they just need connection. They need that connection.

They need that friendship. They need to know that I could trust you as that friend level. And then the person in the middle, I just have, I love when they're in business because they, and women in general too, have that like sixth sense of what's a good deal, what's not a bad deal.

They just know, right? The intuitive person in the middle have that know. So, I love working with the people in the middle, introvert, extroverts.

Once they know their power, they're, they're just, they, you end up getting some peace of mind. You know, it's like.

SAMIA: Yes.

FRANKIE: Because, let's say I'm very quiet and shy.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: I'm around a very high extrovert. Guess what they're gonna tell you? What's wrong with you?

You're so quiet. Why are you so shy? Well, that's who I am.

Don't make you wrong. If you're full of room of extroverts and you're quiet, they're gonna see you kind of like a weirdo.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: Right? If you're in a room full of introverts and they're quiet and they're studying and watching the board or watching the teacher, and the extrovert seems like they're bouncing off the walls, they're going to think, oh, what a weirdo.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: They surround yourself around like-minded individuals that just help you, right? Be the person you want to be.

SAMIA: Yes. And there's definitely, you just made me think about like some of the dynamics in sometimes my extended family circles, where we have a lot of extroverts in that extended family circle. So many people who love to talk.

When we are all together as a family, which happens very often, you have like all these people are like just talking, talking, talking, talking, talking. There's a competition going. It's like no one wants to stop to listen.

Everyone has to say their own thing. And I would look at a few people who's like, I'll be the listener. What you want to say, I'll listen.

FRANKIE: And they're going to love you for that, by the way. It's holding space, right? Right.

You're just holding space for them to everything out. And you'll be amazed when you're kind of quiet and listen, what comes towards you. Now, the question is, how do you become this person, right?

How do you become more of an introverted person, more of an extroverted person? Do you know how a person becomes that person? Do you know?

Besides the middle person has a little bit of trouble. Believe that one of me.

SAMIA: So tell me.

FRANKIE: We get it from our dad. So either a dad, a grandfather, whatever mom catered to, will pick up dads. Have you ever had your mom go, God, you're just like your dad.

It's because you are. You pick up your dad's personality because mom gives us our knowns. You know, mom teaches us that this is a table.

The air is air. But if you have a mom that makes a lot of jokes and try to confuse you a lot, right? Is it a table or is it an elephant?

Right? She kind of confuses you. That was your base.

If you get that kind of mom, then when you grow up, you don't really trust a lot of people because it was unsafe. But if mom is very congruent, as we say, then you grow up very like trusting people, like, okay, they say what they mean. Now, around eight years old, so from zero, right?

From zero to nine months to eight years old, you have a connection to mom like nobody's business, right? You survive because of mom. From eight to 16, you start picking on dad's personality, because he does something better than you, as you notice.

Like, he walks in the room, mom caters to him. Now, this is traditional family, non-traditional. I can explain a little different.

So once you see that, you'll pick up dad's personality. If your dad's an introvert, you'll be an introvert. If your mom's dad's an extrovert, you'll be an extrovert, in order to get more attention from mom.

SAMIA: Hmm. Interesting, interesting. I had not thought about that context.

And yeah, I mean, definitely, so tell me a little bit more about the non-traditional, because I have seen so much change, even just in my lifetime, in terms of how families interact. And I mean, this is like, you know, when I was growing up, I moved around a bit. I've lived in India, Pakistan, Middle East.

I was almost 18 when I came to America. But as long as I was not in America, I was living in a fairly traditional kind of family set up. A lot of, most of that time, I was even in like joint family, like it's traditional in India and Pakistan.

And there, I can see what you're talking about. Like definitely the dad figures were not as present when you were younger. I mean, but you definitely had the sense of awe for your dad.

And whenever dad came in, there was definitely a lot of attention that was directed to dad. And my mom taught me to do that. She herself directed all her attention to him when he came in and she taught me to do that also.

But like coming to America, this was actually one of the things that kind of shocked us as it were, because we started interacting with American families, even like in our extended family that we have here in America, and we saw such different dynamics. And we, I mean, especially my generation of dads, they're such involved dads.

Like, I've been helping one of my cousin brothers babysit. He just had twins. They're just a few months old.

And he's such an involved dad. He changes their diapers. He does feeding.

He sits up with them at night, you know, when they wake up and he needs to put them back to sleep. He… I was like… when one of the babies got sick and they had, you know, like cold and flu symptoms and the poor babies, of course, they don't know how to blow it out themselves.

So apparently, oh my god, yeah. So apparently, the parents were given these tubes and you like literally put one end in the little baby's nose and from the other end, you literally suck the snot out. And I was like, oh, gee, I cannot… I've never seen this before.

And I cannot believe that this is actually something that you guys are doing. It just sounds and feels like it would be so gross. And but they're like doing it.

I'm like, oh, that's such a loving dad. Willing to suck snot.

FRANKIE: I've actually seen my buddy, an army ranger, right? And his child got, what is it? Something that kids get.

I forget what it was, but he got the tube. And I was like, where are you going to stick that? Right.

He did it. I was like, oh, wow, that's pretty powerful there, buddy.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: But it works. The things that come out of that poor kid, like he's like.

SAMIA: It does. And you can immediately see the impact in the kids breathing, like they're breathing so much easier and better. And but the thing is that when you have that kind of a relationship with your dad, I mean, it has to be a very different kind of relationship than I grew up with.

FRANKIE: Well, so there's two different things, right? And I forgot the second one, but the first one is cultural, right?

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: There's certain cultures that seem very outgoing. And certain cultures that seem very not outgoing, right? And but within the family, even within the culture, there's some people that are more introverted and more extroverted.

Even like they're very subtle, right? So culture-wise, you would think certain cultures are like that outgoing, then you assume everybody's outgoing like that until you get somebody that isn't. You're like, what the hell?

This is weird, right? And that's what it is. So and then you have the second one was, forgive me what you said was, oh, in a non-traditional family, right?

What is like, what is normal, right? What is traditional? What is non-traditional?

It depends on that culture.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: When I meant non-traditional, it's like, what if you didn't grow up with the dad, or you didn't grow up with the mom? Right? How do you pick up that secondary?

And all it is, is whoever mom caters to, whoever mom, it could be an uncle, it could be a grandfather, right? Whatever the secondary is, in order to get more attention. So it's very easy to see.

Now the child, it could even be a teacher, where mom just did something to cater to that teacher, oh, picked up right there, right? It all depends on who it is that mom catered to at that moment, and it's not gender-based either.

SAMIA: Hmm, interesting, interesting. Okay, okay. So, okay, wait.

Let me think a moment. I want to come back to.

FRANKIE: It's a lot of information, I get it.

SAMIA: Yes, yes, but time to get back.

FRANKIE: That's the question.

SAMIA: Yeah. Okay, so, so, definitely important to be aware of our subconscious. And that impacts both our personal lives, it impacts our professional lives.

One of the major aspects of ourselves to be aware of is where we are on that scale of being introvert versus extrovert.

Now, at one point, you brought up the idea of limiting beliefs, like when I mentioned, where am I on the scale of how intuitive I am. So, tell me a little bit more about the limiting beliefs piece, because that's like a huge...

FRANKIE: Oh, it's humongous. It's humongous, especially in careers, in relationships. Limiting beliefs is a belief system that literally holds you back, right?

But it's a belief system that serves a purpose. And either somebody forced it on you, or it was like a way to protect yourself, right? Here's an example.

I had an individual. This man couldn't keep a dollar in his pocket. Like, money came in, money left like that.

And we did some work. It took a little bit of a while to get him to, me, him to open up. And I found out that when he was little, there was $5 on the table, and he went to reach for it.

And as he went, he doesn't know what $5 is. It was like, I think he said it was like four or five. And he says, vividly, he remembers.

He reached out and an adult slapped his hand and said, that is not for you. For that moment on, money was not for him. That's a limit to belief, right?

Of course money is for him. It keeps him alive. It puts a roof over his head.

That parent, and they didn't realize what they did, and as parents, we don't know what the hell anybody does, right? But they didn't know they put that limit to belief that you do not deserve that money, right? So he reached out, they slapped, and his little child inside of him, from that moment on, was like, remember, you're gonna get hit every time you take money, or you make money, or whatever that looked like.

That was a limit to belief, and it was a belief system that didn't serve him. Oh, with him, no, and he was an introvert, so career is everything, right? So what we're able to do is rewire that in his brain, talk to his younger self, a little inner child work, and just see that abundance, right?

And then I constantly would have him in his mind and in physical reaching out for money, getting money in his hand, feeling it, because he has such a disassociation towards money because it created pain and disconnection to that adult.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: Right? Kids have no concept of money. This is what parents are like, what do you think?

You're girls on trees, right? And it's just having to rewire that, because a lot of our living to beliefs came from somebody else. Even a living to belief about allergies.

Now, not all allergies are created equal, but I've had people come up to me and I've worked with them and they're like, I'm allergic to cats. I go get tested. They come back.

I'm not allergic to cats, you know? And I go, okay, so that's what I like doing, by the way, is making sure there's the medical side of it. Like, if you have a headache, go get an MRI, right?

You can take care of that first. It must be something else. So anyways, it came out to be that person wasn't allergic to cats, but they would get hives every time they were on cats.

It turned out their aunt was allergic to cats and the child said, oh, in order for me to survive, I got to stay allergic to cats. They took that limit to believe in somebody else and adopted them to themselves. As kids, you're constantly trying to figure out the world.

Yeah. Making it yours so you survive, you thrive, you protect.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: Right? And in a lot of cultures, but in Latino culture, we say a lot, how beautiful are you, right? And it just grows girls with beautiful, beautiful.

If we could just change it to like you're beautiful and smart, right? Like it just give that it, you know? And as kids, you just grow up to a whole different level.

You constantly hear you're dumb, you're going to believe you're dumb, right?

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: I had a huge learning disability as a child. And I had a parent that was constantly telling me that I wasn't smart. And it wasn't until I just said, I'm smart, damn it.

And I just shifted everything on my own with will. But I said, well, if somebody can do that to me and I can shift it, how can we as just people shift it in ourselves? So I made it my venture in life to help people just shift, right?

Let go of that limited belief. I believe is what you say is what you are. Right?

SAMIA: Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. Okay. So I want to ask you a question. So on limiting beliefs.

So there's different, I would say, maybe manifestations of limiting beliefs or different ways in which. So for example, if you go back to the example of, you asked me a question you said on a, what's your number in terms of how intuitive you are? I came up with a number.

Now, was that me just being really aware of how it really is? Versus it's a limiting belief like I'm limiting myself to that number. I mean, like what's the distinction?

You know what I mean? It's like, because clearly I must have a number currently.

FRANKIE: How about this? How does somebody become a specialist? Like how am I a specialist in hypnosis, a specialist in subconscious business coaching?

How did I become a specialist? This is a secret, by the way. Everybody listen, here's a secret.

How do you become a specialist?

SAMIA: Practice, practice, practice.

FRANKIE: OK, but is there an award today? Here you go. You're intuitive, right?

You're the specialist in this area. Is there an award for being a specialist?

SAMIA: I mean, sometimes you can get recognition.

FRANKIE: No, but listen to the word. Is there an award for being a specialist?

SAMIA: Is there an award for being a specialist?

FRANKIE: A specialist in a field. How do you become a specialist in a field? Obviously, you got to have like some education on it, right?

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: The way you become a specialist in a field is the day you tell people you're a specialist in your field. Okay?

SAMAI: Yeah.

FRANKIE: That's how it works. It's back to be, do, have, right? We, as people, are always in the doing.

I got to do this. I got to do that. I had a cousin recently.

It was like, you know, I'm getting older and the children are leaving. And now me and my husband need to do things. We got to do things.

I go, what are you going to do? I don't know. We got to do things.

I go, why can't you just be the best version for each other? Be happy. You're like, it's the being.

So back to what you're saying is, a limit to believe is usually it's just when you're telling yourself, watch what you say because it's your reality. And you get little nuances of what people think inside their brain as they're talking. And they're just giving you information.

So the day you're going to be intuitive is the day you say you are.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: You're going to be a 10 girl.

SAMIA: So like for me, I'm very much a person who is into growth. And so I know at one point, I was not as good as I am today. And I know that tomorrow I'll be even better than I am now.

So I think for me, that's the distinction between if I believe, if I make a statement about me, do I think this is like a permanent aspect of who I am or how I can be or is it something that I see? Okay, in this moment, this is where I am and I know I can continue to grow and change. So for me, that's the distinction between if something is a limiting belief for me or not.

FRANKIE: You got to ask yourself, does it serve you? Right? Playing small, does it serve you?

And nine times out of ten, it doesn't. So if it playing small, that limited belief of playing small, right? Does it serve you?

And there's also like, you know, what we call is, oh, forgive me, I just had the top of my head, imposter syndrome, right? That's a limited belief. You're there because you got there, you know, right?

I don't like giving it power because then you just kind of repeat it, but it just, the reality of it, right? It's imposter syndrome, limited beliefs. It's the, and normally, in a lot of times, it was used for something to protect yourself.

SAMIA: Right.

FRANKIE: And to survive wherever you were at.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: And we've become adults. That doesn't happen no more. We're not that place anymore where, you know, like I said, I had somebody else telling me that I wasn't smart.

So I would just, okay, they're telling me this. And they're their authority.

SAMAI: Yeah.

FRANKIE: Maybe they're, they know what they're talking about.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: And then you grow up, they're like, wait a minute. That was their limited beliefs. That was their trauma, right?

If you spot it, you got it, you know? So when I think back, that person had some issues. They had some learning disabilities.

So projection, projecting is a big, huge thing, especially when it comes to our careers. This is one thing I love talking about. What happens to people when they hit the lottery?

SAMIA: Well, most people, first of all, they feel very happy for a relatively short period of time, though, because before you know it, they have lost the money and sometimes they have lost what they had. They have lost more than they had, more than they want.

FRANKIE: But why? Why wouldn't you be like, okay, I could get some therapy for this. I could come to get a coach for it, right?

I got the money now, right? So the study is that when people, let's say, I don't know, let's say you're right here, right? This is where you started up and you hit the lottery, you're way up here, right?

All of a sudden, three years later, you're down here. Yeah. Why is that?

And it has to do with limited belief and positive syndrome. But when you make that money, now all of a sudden, your friends, you're the same place with your friends and now you're just surpassed them, right? Now you're losing friends and now you gotta pay for friends, right?

So it's just their own limited beliefs. And the thing is that when people hit the lottery, they just come back to what they know and they're just trying to be a normal person, but now people see them different. And so as a whole conversation of like homeostasis, did you know that the amount of money your parents made is gonna be the amount of money you're gonna make?

It's because you're used to it. When you hit the lottery, you're not used to it anymore.

SAMIA: Yeah, it's an exception.

FRANKIE: You hit the lottery, call me by the way. I'll help you out.

SAMIA: No, it's true. It's like I've seen this, like, for example, in my family, where my grandfather was one of the exceptional folks in my family who just kind of broke through.

He was such a brilliant entrepreneur that he built, I don't even know how many businesses over his lifetime, became a multi-multi-millionaire thingy. And we didn't, and he came from a situation where, you know, that is not what he had experienced. That was not the level of wealth that he had experienced, but he broke through whatever the family history had been and he achieved this new height in terms of things.

But he was an exception in the family, you know, and so you...

FRANKIE: I was everybody else, right? Everybody else, right? Everybody else wanted to know his secret.

Everybody knows like, why, how, that.

SAMIA: And it's, and it's like difficult to, like most second generation businesses fail. It's like when my grandfather passed away, we saw that happening in my family as well, where his children, I mean, they have not been, they tried, they certainly couldn't grow the businesses. They did a okay job maintaining the businesses he had established for some time.

But when things started to change, like drastically in terms of business environment and this and that, and they could not, they could, they didn't have the brilliance that my grandfather did and we literally like one by one started losing the businesses. So and I know it's not just something that my family has experienced. The vast majority, like you look at the stats, the vast majority of second generation businesses fail.

FRANKIE: It was the Rockefellers, they went through some of that. I think that's what it was. It was somebody like, you know, high end.

So a lot of it is what you're seeing, what you're used to, but how do you duplicate it? How do you educate the next generation? People that are at that level, they don't know how they did it.

Yeah, doing it, right? They're reacting to something. There is to say something about the one person that breaks through.

Right? Now you even have a light. Grandfather can do it.

Why not can I?

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: What was his secret? He didn't even know. He could have just found one little thing that kept on working.

Right? It could have been an introvert, could have been really bad relationships, but great in finance, right? By the way, if you're a high ext introvert, you have great money and great credit, but you have really bad relationships.

So there's a balance within yourself. So with grandpa, with his knowledge, we want to be around it, but you're not around it 100 percent.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: You're just what you now have a goal or what you want. Now, not everybody's going to see the same thing. That's the biggest catch.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: You have siblings, you're like, you grew up in the same household, how can you act that way? I can be so introverted and I'm so extroverted. It just comes to what you saw at that time of that person.

SAMIA: Right. Oh gosh, Frankie, I'm having so much fun talking to you.

FRANKIE: It takes you back, right? It takes you back to that feeling.

SAMIA: Yes. Do you have any last thoughts you would like to share for right now?

FRANKIE: Any last thoughts? God. I'm really a big believer in the be do have experience.

Like, if there's ever anything in your life that you really want, truly want, don't do it. Be it.

SAMIA: Yeah.

FRANKIE: The meaning is going to come, right? You're going to feel the imposter syndrome. You're going to feel like very fake, right?

I had a hard time in the beginning saying I was a specialist in this because I was like, nobody told me I was a specialist. There's no award. Then I was like, you know what?

I'm just going to be it. What's the worst thing that's going to happen? That actor, he is being naked, right?

Literally, he's being it. And then he does it. So be do have my friends.

SAMIA: Yes.

FRANKIE: Maybe hit the lottery, call me and I'll help you keep that money.

SAMIA: True, true, true. Oh, thank you so much, Frankie. I so appreciate all the wisdom you have shared with us.

And for my last reminder, I'm just going to remind our listeners, our audience, a lot of people will also be watching this. Whether you're watching or listening, please make sure you check the show notes because we will be dropping Frankie's links in there so you can connect with them and continue to learn with them and get the help and support you need whenever you're ready for it soon. And yeah, until we connect next time, I wish you lots and lots of peace and joy.

FRANKIE: Take care, everybody. Bye.