SAMIA: Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, and Privet!So good to be with you again and I know you'll be very happy you’ve joined us because we have a very special guest... It's Emily Parsell who's a Registered Dietitian and I'm going to invite Emily to jump right in and tell us more about who she is and what she does. Welcome Emily... 

EMILY: Thank you so much Samia, it's so great to be here... I really appreciate it. And all right, yeah, my name is Emily… as you said I'm a Registered Dietician/Nutritionist… and you know, I really help women learn how to lose weight and keep it off for good without guilt and without restriction... So they don't have to go through the weight loss journey again… you can go on to feel your best healthy and just the most competent and fitness like ever because that's what you deserve... You deserve… if that's something you feel like you're struggling with, to learn how to lose weight the right way so you don't ever have to go on that journey again, without restriction... That's my specialty.

SAMIA: I love that... I love the part about no guilt and no restrictions... Oh my gosh, just talking about the no guilt part... So huge... Can we talk about that first...

EMILY: Yeah absolutely... I feel like whenever we, you know, when we think about weight… honestly, I'll kind of backtrack a little bit... reason a big part of why I actually became a dietitian and why I created a weight loss program for women is because like I used to struggle with my weight and, you know, body image, self-confidence, all of these things… weight loss... And I found myself trying diet after diet… and I would, you know, be really good quote unquote with a program... I felt like I couldn't stick with it. I'd fall off the bandwagon, I'd find myself, you know, overeating... I, you know, you have those good foods and bad foods, and I started to develop guilt around foods… it was just like this vicious cycle… I'm sure so many women listening likely relate to this and maybe some men too… you know it happens to everyone… and it wasn't until I went on my own journey and became a dietitian that I learned how to lose weight the right way, in a healthy way... And that involves not having guilt, not having restriction… and that's why I you know really wanted to take my journey and share with other women… and you know when it comes to weight loss, all foods do fit… and that's where I feel like I definitely have a different approach for weight loss compared to other maybe coaches out there… different things like that. Because that guilt part is something that I know so many women really struggle with… they feel a sense of guilt eating their favorite foods like chocolate, or gosh, having a glass of wine on a wine down Wednesday or pizza with friends... And you know my goal is to really help you learn how you can include those foods into your everyday life so you don't have guilt… And a lot of that comes with, you know, not just what we eat but also that mindset piece too... And you know having that big blend so you can have a lifestyle change… that's really where sustainable weight loss can happen is when that guilt factor is taken out of the equation.

SAMIA: Yes. Oh my gosh... Okay, I have a follow-up question about the guilt part... 

EMILY: Yes, of course. 

SAMIA: Because I know I have struggled with guilt issues when it comes to my weight and food and my relationship with my food and how I eat and my body and my health... And of course that doesn't feel good... So I don't want to feel not good… So of course that's a problem... But is there like any other problem with being in this mindset where you're like, you know, trapped in this guilt, that actually prevents you from being able to get more healthy, and from being able to live the way that you want, and so forth…

EMILY: Yeah that's a really great question... And you know I will say mindset is something that, you know, I would actually argue is one of the most important things when it comes to making change and creating a healthier lifestyle for yourself... Because you know when our mindset is not in the right spot and when we are… the narrative that we talk to ourselves is a lot of times like negative… like, I need to do better or I should have done this differently or that food choice was bad... It creates a lot of self-sabotage and it's almost like unintentional self-sabotage because sometimes we don't even recognize that we're doing it to ourselves… or you know how we talk to ourselves about our body too… you know it's about changing the narrative and really bringing like a positive experience and a positive mindset to the table because… so we don't create that self-sabotage... It can also create a lot of times all or nothing mindset which can absolutely harm our metabolism... When we think about it, you know, you're okay, you're in the right mindset for a quick fix program for example… I'm going all in. I'm doing this, I'm going to be so good... But then life happens you know… a birthday party comes up or gosh summer's here, right, and we have vacations and barbecues all those fun things and that cookie cutter plan doesn't quite fit in with your life, then we fall off track... And that actually really slows down your metabolism over time. And then that makes weight loss more difficult, you know that restrict overeat cycle... And then that kind of plays into the mindset piece because then who feels good when we overeat... we don't feel good. And then it's like, oh, I have to start another diet program... And so these are things where I really work with women when I talk about mindset… to kind of peel back those layers and dive deeper so we can understand, you know, what's going on and where you're coming from and move forward and create that sustainable lifestyle change...

SAMIA: Yeah… thank you for sharing that... Did the... I was j ust like thinking back again like to my experiences of times when I felt guilty about something that I did... And like for me what I came to realize over time was that... the guilt is an emotion… in the short term is helpful in terms of you know just being a signal of "Ops! I've gone off track."  But if I allow myself to stay in that emotion... it's not helpful at all in terms of my being able to create positive change because... actually what I found in my experience was when I felt guilty... and I allow myself to stay in that guilt, I would actually slip even further down into feeling ashamed of what I had done... And then once I've got stuck in shame I would binge you know because I mean I didn't know a better way to deal with my emotion of shame...

EMILY: Mm hmm... 

SAMIA: And so it was like oh my gosh such a huge problem... 

EMILY: Yeah... yeah, Samia you are not alone. Gosh girlfriend, that's what… that's something that I went through too... It's what I call like the diet cycle... the diet trap where you know we do, we fall off track and there's those emotions tied to it… that guilt… and then that guilt builds up because we stay in that one spot and maybe we you know continue to make choices or you're overeat a little bit or it leads to binge eating and then it just brings in these more …brings in more unhealthy and unhappy emotions... and then we maybe try a different diet again. And that just creates… we just stay stuck on this like hamster wheel of a diet cycle... And that's where you know when it comes to guilt around food choices... one thing that I love to talk to women about is the fact that like, food has no moral value to it... Food is food. And food is so… it's so deeply personal to each and every single one of us... I mean there's memories tied to certain foods…and when you're told that, you know, you love…maybe it's a baked good that your mom made as a kid and you have so many happy memories around that…and then when you're told that that's bad... that makes, you know… that contributes to your weight gain, that makes you a bad person… it's all these mixed emotions that really come up... and there's cultural ties to food too… And I think that it's important to know that we are not our food choices… we are not a good person because we choose certain foods… and we're not a bad person because of that… and that's really you know… that's part of that mindset work that is really helpful and you know what I work with women to help them break free of that guilt around food… because you should be able to enjoy you know those foods that you love and have memories tied to them or, you know, deeply rooted in your history, your culture, without ever feeling ashamed for doing so, you know... And that's really how when it comes to weight loss, that's how you're going to see that lasting change... So there's no moral value tied to food whatsoever. We're not, we are not our food choices... We are us, an amazing individuals, and we need to, you know, celebrate and honor that we are people separate from that... 

SAMIA: Food has no moral value... Wow, I love that Emily. I really do... And I can... I'm starting to see why initially you said… like, two of the things that you help women do is, one, not feel guilty... and then also secondly get rid of all these food restrictions. I'm starting to I guess see how those two things actually really need to go together, and they can go together... So tell me more about the food restriction part of it because as you were talking about food not having a moral value and the examples that you were giving… you know my old self that used to be like all into these crazy diets and stuff... you know I could just hear that self coming out again and being like, "No! that's not true." 

EMILY: Food police...

SAMIA: that food is bad...

EMILY: that inner voice is coming out... 

SAMIA: Yeah, so it's like when you talk about you know being able to get rid of food restrictions, not feeling guilty about eating certain foods... But then, you know, on the other hand you know we are taught that you know there are good foods and bad foods... for example we are thought that if there's added sugars and oils in our food that's bad… or you know if you're eating lots of leafy greens that's good. Like you know we're taught all the things... So what are you saying... I mean how do you respond to someone who is thinking from that perspective in terms of being like a food has no moral value...

EMILY: Yeah that's a great question... There's definitely so much... there's so many mixed messages out there... do this... don't do this… you know, go on this cleanse... or like you said, like leafy greens are great for you, they prevent you know cancer and all these things... And you know what I mean by food has no moral value to it... Food… there's what I like to say is, there's two groups of food... there's fueling foods and those are going to be things that they do have health benefits to them, because we know that… but just because we choose a food with health benefits it doesn't make us a better person... But they have health benefits… they, you know, they help to support weight loss... There's so much nutrition in there… maybe if you have PCOS or diabetes or heart disease or you're trying to prevent cancer, like those are foods that can fall under this big umbrella category of, yeah, these are going to really help you feel good, they're gonna help prevent or manage these types of conditions... Then there's also these fun foods and those are foods that you know they might not necessarily help to prevent diabetes or help you, you know, prevent cancer, but they make you feel good because they taste delicious… they are...there's those memories attached to them… or it's just, it's amazing, right, like ice cream… yeah... there's no health benefits to ice cream, it's not going to prevent anything… but the fact that emotionally and mentally you feel so good when you eat it because it tastes delicious, like, those are fun foods... And when you talk about, you know, no restriction on moral value… the moral value… it's just because you eat ice cream, does it make that a bad choice? It's not a bad choice… it's really about understanding, you know, what is important to your health and your body. All the women that I work with, they all have very different health goals, very different backgrounds... And so understanding what's right for your body... How can we make those fueling foods fit into your lifestyle, specific to you and for your culture... And then also how can we sprinkle in those fun foods so you don't feel like you are having to say no or miss out on anything. So that's really what I mean... it's about understanding the health benefits and then also understanding that, you know, that mindset piece… there's no moral value… but how do you blend those in... and that's really… it looks different for each and every single person.

SAMIA: I love that distinction between fuel foods and fun foods... and the idea that food serves different functions in our life. Ah... I love that. I think that is such an important insight. Because I think when we are stuck in the diet culture or, you know, that food police going off in our heads, that is what it's not taking into account… is that food is not just there to serve one function in our life... it serves so many different functions in our lives. And it's important for us to honor the different functions that food has to serve.

EMILY: Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, we have to honor that you know… and like you said food is just food, you know... I had one of my ladies that I work with this morning actually, I was chatting with her. And she said for the first time in years... she had pancakes for breakfast on Sunday. And she's like, I was always… I love pancakes. And she's like, but I was always told again and again and again these are bad, they make you fat, blah blah blah... And she's like, I enjoy… I made a batch of pancakes, I sat down and ate them. And it was amazing... and she's like I savored every bite. I didn't feel guilty because I understood like this is a food that can absolutely fit in with my life and should… and I've been missing out, you know. So the function of the pancake is… yeah there are health benefits if it's like a whole wheat pancake… but the function is she had part of her life back too, you know… we have to take into account… like functionality in that sense is… that's amazing when you feel like you were missing out on something and now you're no longer… like that's empowering you know… and I think as women we deserve to feel more empowerment in our food choices and know we have control over what we can and cannot do.

SAMIA: Awesome. I love that… talking about, you know, feeling that sense of empowerment or your life choices and being able to, you know, like get off that that's that vicious cycle of falling on and off these various diets and so forth... And how you were talking about earlier about you learned a right way for you to eat and relate to food and so forth that has allowed you to come to this amazing place… so what... can you share like just some of the main principles or ideas that you have learned in that context and that our listeners can apply in their lives to start on their journey…

EMILY: Yeah absolutely. So you know one of the biggest things that I learned personally and I really bring to the table every day is to just… to start small... I mean if you are hitting the ground running, which I love when I meet someone who is like jumping in with both feet… you know they have so much energy, they're so excited, and I want to harness that energy. But a lot of times I'm like, let's harness that into just a couple things… Because what can happen is, when we're making some life changes and we have all these things we want to work on, maybe you want to get your exercise, you know… you want to be committed to exercise, you want to change your food habits, you want to lose weight, you want to feel more confident in your body... all of these things… work on your mindset... It's like, Whoa! It's a lot and it's exciting and you will get there. But if you start small, you're going to be so much more successful with that... Having so many things on our plate, no pun intended, can really… it leads to overwhelm. And that overwhelming feeling leads to what I call diet paralysis... I don't believe in diets… but it causes us to feel paralyzed in those changes that we really want to make and can lead to self-sabotage and spiraling out of control... So when you're getting… when you first start to get going on a journey, you know, really start small… focus on one, two or three things at a time that are habit-based. Focusing on habits is so much more important and so much more valuable than just that number on the scale... In fact, within my program… and that was something that you know I worked really hard on over years and years because I didn't have anybody to support me... I'm like, you know, now I'm that support person for women… But when you're just focusing on the scale too it's like, okay, that scale does not... it's not… it doesn't show us a full picture of what's going on in your life, you know… it doesn't really tell us anything about health... Doesn’t it tell us how you're getting leaner either. But if you focus on habits, just a couple things at a time, then those changes that you want to make in your life, whether it's a scale-based change or you want to feel more confident, or your clothes fit differently… those things are byproducts of that… and that's how you're gonna see that lasting change... So that's like one of the really big things that I would say to get going with. Another thing too that I would throw out there that I personally worked on a lot... I still do this now, especially as a new mom, I have to extend a lot of grace to myself… and I tell my clients every single day… I was just chatting about this today in one of our calls… And when it comes to lifestyle changes, the beauty is, there's no end date. You know we just have to keep showing up for ourselves... But when things happen that maybe don't go quite as you had planned or you know maybe you do feel like you’ve fallen off track, quote-unquote, or you do overeat... instead of, you know, saying, I need to do better, I should have done this…. Let's just extend some grace. You know, shower yourself with love… You wouldn't talk down to a friend who came to you saying, you know, I overate this week and I don't feel so great… You wouldn't, you know, yell at them or, you know, talk down to them… you would extend some grace. So we need to do that to ourselves. And the more you can do that, that really comes into play with the mindset piece... But the more you can do that, the more you know you're going to be successful with long-term change and really see lasting weight loss when it comes to your weight loss journey. So those are two really big things you know… habits, starting small, extending yourself grace… And I just gotta say, you have to get some support. You know I... my whole journey before I became a dietitian was long and it didn't need to be. I didn't have support. I didn't have anybody to talk to. I didn't have an actual, you know, coach or expert to lean on... And when you can have someone on your side who's there for you every step of the way, like myself, you're gonna see results so much faster… you're not going to be confused and you're gonna be able to troubleshoot and, you know, really see those results that you truly deserve.

SAMIA: Yeah. Oh my gosh, thank you for sharing those tips Emily… those are awesome. I especially appreciate the amazing wisdom behind all of those... but especially the first one when you were talking about… it's about creating new habits... Oh my gosh... And then, oh my gosh, each of your points is so amazing… the third point about getting help and support... Honestly that's my one time... that's my one, all-time favorite tip for making change fun and easy...Get some help and support no matter what that you're struggling with. 

EMILY: Right... yeah.

SAMIA: And you know you I was just remembering when I started working with my health and nutrition coach... like… one of the things that, I mean, oh my gosh, she was so helpful in so many ways in terms of helping me... but one… just to give an example of like something that she helped me with that I could not even have begun to help myself with… was learning to recognize my hunger signals... I was so disconnected with my body’s hunger signals, like, I didn't even realize all the different ways and all the different times when my body was telling me I was hungry... All I knew was I wake up... I'm not hungry... and then at some point in the day because usually I didn't have breakfast, I'd be like ravenously hungry... 

EMILY: Yeah. 

SAMIA: for me there was nothing in between… and it wasn't that there was nothing in between... It was just that I had no idea how my body was trying to communicate between those points in time me that it was hungry or getting more hungry and so forth... It's like, I didn't know what I didn't know... So I couldn't even begin to resolve that problem.

EMILY: Right. Yeah... I mean there's definitely instances like that to where it's that's why we hire experts… you know I think about not just from a nutrition standpoint but I think about like a financial coach... Like there's things I hire… have an accountant and a financial advisor because they know what to do they look at you know my accounts and tell me and are able to pull out things that I don't see for myself because I'm not an expert in that area... So we outsource… and so I'm glad that you're able to you know lean on someone and really have the support and expertise of you know a nutrition and health coach there to be able to point you in the right direction that you need to go to make that life change and recognize your hunger and fullness… because that's so important...

SAMIA: It is... can you actually, for other people like I was who may not be familiar with hunger signals… though there are many different kinds of hunger signals that we can have.... Can you talk a little bit more about that?

EMILY: Oh sure. Absolutely. I'd love to... Yeah, so with hunger and fullness… I loved that you were open and honest and shared that skipping breakfast piece because I know so many women, so many people listening to that can absolutely relate to just not feeling hungry... And I think so often we hear when it comes to health and weight loss changes, it's like, "Oh don't eat when you're not hungry. You should only eat when you're hungry and you should stop when you're full." It's like, well, that's like an okay thought process... but what happens when, you know, that's actually messing up your hunger signals and causing you like what you said like, Hey, I wasn't hungry in the morning, why should I eat? But then I'm ravenous come lunchtime… and you know, yes, a grumbling stomach and that feeling of like, oh my gosh, I have to eat right now is absolutely a sign of being hungry... But there's other subtle cues that your body is like telling you, hey, I need food now. And if you have tried different… whether you've done like one diet program in the past or you've done multiple...Something I talk about a lot is that your hunger and fullness… those hormones can actually get crisscrossed. And so it becomes a little bit more challenging to identify that. So you know that's really important to understand because if you have the different programs then you might not actually be feeling that grumbling stomach... that's a sign that when you're experiencing that, that's a sign that your hormones are imbalanced. So other things that you can look for to understand if your body's hungry, is number one, ask yourself… like, am I eating three meals a day... If the answer is no... I'm gonna tell you right now, your body is hungry. Your metabolism needs three meals a day at least… that's, you know, a general rule of thumb for the majority of people, I would say. If you're skipping a meal or you're eating one big meal a day or two meals a day, that… our hormones don't love that whether you're male or female… hormones don't love that... our metabolism does not love that. If you're trying to lose weight, it actually makes it really difficult to lose the weight… but also the key thing is to keep it off. So that's a big thing... but constantly thinking about food is my most favorite hunger signal that is often overlooked. And people just think they have, you know, food obsession, and it could be the case, but most of the time it's actually you're not giving your body enough fuel... And that kind of... our bodies are really smart. And it's just gonna constantly like... "why do I… I can't stop thinking about chips or I can't stop thinking about pizza." 99% of the time you're not going to be able to stop thinking about the foods that you've constantly told yourself you cannot have… also that has a lot to do with the mindset piece... But thinking about food is your body's way of saying it needs food… whether you just ate a meal too… might be a sign you didn't balance your plate quite enough or give your body enough or the right foods or you skipped a meal… whatever that might be… thinking about food is a really big one... Another one too is, one of my favorites is like eating really really fast... And this is a sign that you might be going too long between meals and you're not eating quite enough in between... which is where snacking could be really helpful, which is a whole another conversation. But if you find yourself arriving at a meal and you just feel like you can't focus on the conversation at hand... you see the food, you're just like, I gotta get it in as fast as I can… and sometimes we don't even realize we're doing this... that's a really big sign that your body is starving for food. And I like to use what I call "The hunger scale..." within my program and when I work with ladies… but it's a really good way to kind of assess like where do I fall on this scale... you know what number am I ranking myself when I arrive at a meal... And if you find yourself, like you can't slow down, that might be a sign that you don't… we need to look and see where can we add in some more food throughout the day to really help with that. Because what that does is when we overeat, we eat really fast like that, it makes it all too easy to accidentally overeat… then we know that can lead to weight gain because we're taking in way more calories than our bodies actually needing… and we just… I call it accidental because we have no idea, you know... So that's another big one. Another one too… that is a little bit more extreme, but having really low blood sugar. And this is, you know, identifies itself like feeling really shaky or if you kind of get sweaty... that's definitely one where you want to have a conversation with a doctor if you're really experiencing these on a regular basis, especially if you're a diabetic… but some people say... "Oh I don't feel hungry. I just get shaky." Maybe you told yourself that at some point if you're listening to this… but that's a sign that your body really needs food... And that shaky piece is like, it's kind of last resort before you know other things start to happen. But the grumbling stomach is really... that's one that not a lot of people experience to be honest… it's the other three that they tend to experience… eating really fast and constantly thinking about food.

SAMIA: Yes... I know… and I think for me... the thinking about food as a signal was a really easy one to sort of begin to tune into because as a happiness expert you know for many years now I have really trained myself to be aware of what I'm thinking. And so I was like oh... I know when I'm thinking about food and when I'm thinking a lot about food… And so for me that was like once I realized that was a hunger signal that was a really easy one to sort of just kind of get going with… like with some of the others I must say I had to work on cultivating greater awareness of just how my body was feeling… because like for me I know like one of my hunger signals that I didn't realize was that I would start to like get this like feeling like maybe I was going to start getting some kind of a headache but... 

EMILY: Yes... 

SAMIA: Sometimes I would actually get a headache... but sometimes I would just get a feeling like I was maybe going to start getting a headache and... but… until I actually got the headache... I'd be able to ignore that feeling… and so just again you know I wasn't tuned into how my body was feeling until it... I couldn't ignore it anymore. So like for me it took more practice to be like... "okay, how am I feeling right now... what are the different sensations in my body." 

EMILY: Right, right... yeah. Doing those check-ins with yourself is so important and like being able to reflect… and yeah that's when I didn't mention was the headache piece whether you feel like you're having a headache or you do have a headache... you know chronic headaches sometimes are just… especially in people who diet a lot, it's your body's starving. And it just doesn't know how to it's trying to alert you... it's trying to send some alarms off. And so being able to tap into that, you know, that mindfulness piece like what you said you were able to do is so crucial… you know our bodies need food... we need to nourish our bodies for health purposes. Even if you're trying to lose weight… I think so many people think you have to starve to lose weight and that is absolutely not the case whatsoever... you should not be starving yourself in order to lose weight... it's not healthy. 

SAMIA: Oh, I love that Emily... and clearly we have lots more to talk about… I’ll have to call you back for a second episode because we are running out of time for today... but I would definitely love to have you back. And in the meantime do you have any last thoughts or anything else that you would like to share for right now...

EMILY: Yeah, I just so appreciate you allowing me to be here… and should anybody ever be interested you know in coming over and following me, you can find me over on Facebook… Emily Parsell... I also have a free Facebook community there where I share resources just like this every single week and really fun and healthy recipes… so that's “Weight Loss For Life”... that's my free community... You can find me on Instagram… the Chocolate Loving Dietitian... So chocolate loving dietitian… Or if you're interested in working with me, you know you can always reach out to me on either platform and we can just chat a little bit more. I truly love connecting with people and just meeting new people... so you're always welcome to reach out that way as well. But you know I so appreciate being here and you know I think the biggest thing when it comes to weight loss, when it comes to making changes... I love this slogan you know for your businesses “Make Change Fun and Easy” and weight loss and you know living your best, healthiest, fittest life should be fun, it should be easy... you know we all deserve that… life is way too hard and your weight loss plan does not need to be hard… and should be something you feel confident doing and makes you feel good about yourself.

SAMIA: Yeah... and when you feel good about yourself all other aspects of making change in your life become more fun and easy too… So... 

EMILY: Absolutely... it's just awesome… it's all... it all comes together. Absolutely.

SAMIA: Yes, thank you again so much Emily for joining us today... and for everyone who's listening, please know that we will be adding Emily's links in the show notes. So please make sure you click on those links and connect with Emily... And until next time, I just wish you lots and lots of peace and joy. :)