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The Brilliance of Spiritually Centered Confidence...

With Hafsah Adham & Samia Bano

To connect with Hafsah, visit:

Struggling with your #selfbelief? Find your #Confidence, #selfesteem shaken during hard times when you need it most? 

Listen now to this interview with #ConfidenceCoach Hafsah Adham to learn how you can build #unshakeablefaith in your ability to overcome any adversity and achieve the success you desire with greater ease by grounding yourself in #SpirituallyCentered Confidence.

Want to learn even more about how to achieve #resilience to life's tests, no matter how hard it gets?

Click the link below and register now for Hafsah's #LiveWebinar on 24th January 2023! https://www.awakenedheartsacademy.com/webinar

You can also connect with Hafsah anytime at: https://www.facebook.com/hafsah.adham

#confidenceisbeautiful #confidenceiskey #confidencebuilder #confidencebuildingtips



Samia Bano is the #HappinessExpert, author, speaker, podcaster & coach for coaches and healers. Samia is most known for her book, 'Make Change Fun and Easy' and her #podcast of the same name. With the help of her signature Follow Your Heart Process™, a unique combination of #PositivePsychology and the spiritual wisdom of our most effective #ChangeMakers, Samia helps you overcome #LimitingBeliefs, your chains of fear, to develop a #PositiveMindset and create the impact and income you desire with fun and ease…

Samia’s advanced signature programs include the Happiness 101 Class and the Transformative Action Training.

Samia is also a Certified #ReikiHealer and Crisis Counselor working to promote #MentalHealthAwareness.

Samia models #HeartCenteredLeadership and business that is both #SociallyResponsible and #EnvironmentallyFriendly.

Samia is a practicing #Muslim with an inter-spiritual approach. As someone who has a love and appreciation for diversity, she is a #BridgeBuilder between people of different faiths and cultures.

Although Samia currently lives in California, USA, she has lived in 3 other countries and speaks Hindi, Urdu, and English fluently.

To Book your Free HAPPINESS 101 EXPLORATION CALL with Samia, click: https://my.timetrade.com/book/JX9XJ

Full Video Transcript

SAMIA: Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, and Privet! It's really good to be with you again... And I'm so, so looking forward to my conversation today with my very, very special guest… And that's Hafsah Adham... She's a Confidence Coach, speaker and nature lover... And oh my gosh, I’m so happy to have you with us Sister Hafsah, welcome...

HAFSAH: Thank you so much for such a beautiful welcome... It's an honor to be here, Alhamdulillah (Praise be to God).

SAMIA: Indeed... and please Sister Hafsah we will ask you to just jump right in by telling us more about who you are and what you do...

HAFSAH: Sure. So Alhamdulillah (Praise be to God), I'm a mom of three mashallah (as God willed). And I've been a coach for almost eight years… for about eight years now. And I, so I run it, I founded and run an organization called the Confident Muslim… and primarily I work with professional Muslims… but not exclusively, but professional Muslims to help us build our spiritually centered confidence. So it's a slightly different paradigm to the confidence that perhaps we're used to hearing. This is really about how do we find confidence that is grounded in something beyond ourselves, you know, connected to our, to our tawakkul, our trust in God. How do we find confidence and courage to take the action that we need to take... and anchor in it and something that yes, of course, our self-belief… but anchoring it in something, you know, bigger than that, which is our, you know, belief in God and His help, and His, you know, what we know... and the reality of God and what we know to be true there. And more recently, this is my work has evolved into other things… but maybe we can talk about that as we go along. 

SAMIA: Yes, yes. And thank you for sharing that… and, you know, what you just said about anchoring our confidence in something beyond ourselves and our understanding and belief in God… if we have that faith, I think it's so, so important. And I think that understanding that you have this approach and understanding, really made me so excited to speak with you, you know, because I have the same perspective that I mean… I have really struggled with confidence in my life as a survivor of child sexual abuse... And, you know, in my journey to learn how to become more confident as I have healed over the years…. for sure, I know the first good two, two and a half decades, most of my efforts in that context, were me trying to get confident... like, just based on developing a better opinion of myself. And I had a very low opinion of myself for many, many reasons… there were some things that I, I think I managed to still appreciate about me. But by and large, I was like, so, you know, stuck in shame and guilt and so forth, that I had pretty poor self-esteem. And it was not easy, and it was not fun to cultivate any kind of solid confidence in myself from that place… it just wasn't… And so it wasn't until, I mean, like for me, I didn't have access to someone like you at that time... But, you know, God guides us, as He wills and through His mercy and compassion. And so, you know, eventually at some point, you know, I started to tap more into just learning about my faith and my religion as a Muslim... And just… the more I started to lean on that, to just, you know, guide me in general… and the deeper my faith became it automatically… I started to feel a rise in my confidence. I'm like, "Oh, I'm not figuring this out, I haven't decided that this is the better way to do... It's like, I believe this is God guiding… and who knows better than God."

HAFSAH: I think you've just in a nutshell really summed it up beautifully that, you know, when we just use this kind of self-centric model of… right, it's got to be me, I've got to find my confidence, I've got to be able to do this… which is part of it… but if it is all of it, then it's very limiting because then we're subject to how we're feeling, what we can do, what resources we feel we have, the competence and competency that we have in a moment… And all these things… and our self-esteem… how we see ourselves… what's my self-value… But the moment we extend it beyond that locus of control that we feel we have, and we bring, and we draw in the power of God, then actually, it takes our confidence to a whole another level... Because now it's not just me at play. Now, I trust and I believe that I'm gonna do my best… and, you know, God is going to be there facilitating the way, giving me what's there, what's best for me. He's the best of planners. I will strive, I will work hard, I'll do what I can, I’ll do the inner work… which is essential, by the way… we have to do that inner work, and that process… and we can't just sort of rely on God and then not do anything. And that's not the system that has been prescribed, you know… as you may be familiar with the Hadith (Prophetic saying) said… tie your camel, and then trust God… right… So we've got to do the work...

SAMIA: Right.

HAFSAH: If we just do the work on ourselves, and we leave out that element of believing in God, then we've limited ourselves. 

SAMIA: Yeah, absolutely. And just for people who might not be familiar with that particular saying of the Prophet, can you explain a little bit more about the tying of the camel? 

HAFSAH: Yeah, sure. So our Prophet Muhammad who we consider the last prophet of Islam, he was with some companions. And they were, they had, they were resting for the night, and they had some camels. And because they were learning, you know, about belief in God and how it works, they said.. they went to the Prophet, (ṣallā llāhu ʿalayhī wa-sallama) peace be… peace and blessings be upon him… and they asked him, you know… "Should we tie the camel? Or should we just trust that God will take care of the camel? Like, how does this work", you know… and the Prophet responded by saying, "Tie your camel. And then trust God." 

SAMIA: Yeah.

HAFSAH: There's a system there, right… we've got to do the work. But then release the outcome, and detach from what happens and totally trust that God will take care of it in the best way... And that process of letting go is not easy. It's not easy… detaching from the results… because we're so attached to control. And things need to be this way. And things need to be that way. Learning to detach is very much part of this process of trusting within and trusting God, which is all part of it... So.

SAMIA: Indeed, indeed... I think, you know, in some ways, I have come to believe that at the end, what we are... one of the most fundamental lessons that we are here to learn in this life is to learn to let go...

HAFSAH: Absolutely...

SAMIA: Let go... Oh my gosh…

HAFSAH: And that's the essence of trusting God, is that I don't… I don't hold on to set results with such a tight grip… because we know life doesn't work that way. You know, we expect a certain outcome. And then it doesn't happen. And what… what happens… we get devastated… we start self-judgment, we start feeling like a failure, we start, you know, all these things… But actually, God in His love and mercy created this relationship that we have with Him... as a way to build resiliency, trust… Confidence I feel is like an energy that is the result of certain things, you know… It's the result of belief in God… it’s the result of knowing yourself and doing the inner work, it’s the result of having a purpose and meaning beyond just, you know, self agendas and, you know, the… and it's a lot of ego work too, which is why I do, I do sort of draw distinctions between ego-centered confidence and spiritually centered confidence... And they’re two very different things. 

SAMIA: They are… and I know when I think about ego centered confidence, or even like confidence that is centered around any person or entity other than God… the problem that I faced was that I didn't find anyone else, or anything else, to be always 100% reliable... It's like, if there's some other person, you're like, "Okay, I trust this person." But there will be times when, because they're human, they will make mistakes and they might do something where you feel let down... You know, if there's like a community of people that you're trusting, it's the same thing. I mean, it might be a wonderful, wonderful community. But again, it's made up of humans, and we're not perfect. And so there will be times when we will, I will say… fail… in quotes. 

HAFSAH: We will… fail… in quotes. And also, you know, feel disappointed… because the moment we start relying on insaan, which is mankind... But here's the thing, you know, that reliance and trust, and those relationships are essential, they're really important. But none of it is designed to be 100% constant... 


HAFSAH: And so if our self-validation, if our trust is based on these external things, then we tend to go on a rollercoaster... If it's working well, we feel great. If it's not working well, we kind of spiral down... Whereas God is constant. He's always kind. He's always merciful. He's always helping. He's always ever watchful. He's always facilitating. He's always planning the best of plans for us... And having that absolute reliance, that's untethered from this world and anything worldly, which is fragile by nature, even the most, like you said, even the most trustworthy, amazing, incredible person is going to have moments of weakness, and gonna have, you know, moments where they're inaccessible, or not able to be there in the way that we want… but God is always there, always there... And so anchoring yourself to something that is that higher power, the ultimate power, and that is constant… it gives us a form of resilience and confidence and appreciation and ability to just face whatever life, you know, kind of puts in our way.

SAMIA: Yes. Yes. I'm so with you on that. And can I play a little bit of the devil's advocate...

HAFSAH: Please go ahead... 

SAMIA: So, you know, like I said, I'm with you on that... And I realized that you and me when we make a statement like, you know, God is always there, always loving, always taking care of us… we're saying that from a place of faith that we have cultivated over the course of our lives. But for people who are not there yet, in terms of having achieved this faith, or realized this to be true… or people who, you know, don't subscribe to, you know, identify as Muslims or so and so forth... And like, even like I said, Muslims… many Muslims have not come to this place of realization, where they truly believe in this, that God is always there and taking care of us… because there's so much that seems to go wrong in our lives... and that is tragic even. And I know that you know something about dealing with tragedy and things happening that you never expected or wanted or would have, you know, prayed to God for, to happen in your life... And so when something like that happens... How… like, what's the context... How do you even believe than that, you know, this is true that God is always loving, always taking care of us, you know?

SAMIA: Hey, we have decided to split up this interview into two parts... So please tune in to our next episode, which we will be releasing next week for the answer to the question that I just asked Hafsah in for the rest of our conversation…


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