SAMIA: Hello, Salam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Hola, Ciao, Bonjour and Buna!

It's so excellent to be with you again today and I'm really really happy that we have Laura DeSans with us today as our very special guest Laura is a lifestyle physician she's a life and weight loss coach and I'm so excited to learn from you today Laura about... not just about weight loss because I know you have a really wonderful unique perspective on this issue we're going to be talking about so much more and I'm so excited to learn from you and yeah just welcome…

LAURA: Thank you so much thank you so much for having me here…

SAMIA: You're so welcome…

LAURA: Yeah and please tell us more tell us more about who you are and what you do how you got into this work…

SAMIA: So my name is Laura Desans and I am a family physician and I have been working... I am passionate about nutrition and all which is related with healthy lifestyle and I have been working in a medical practice for about 15 years and I have seen a lot of patients who were struggling with their weight… most of them have tried different kind of diets powders pills shakes everything and I can tell you almost all of them reached to lose their weight but the problem was always the same they were gaining all the weight back and it was amazing for me to discover that only four percent of the people who tries to lose weight reach to lose their weight in a permanent way so a lasting way…

LAURA: So that brought me to this idea... oh my god there's a huge missing piece in the weight loss industry and I found out that for me it's the approach that the weight loss industry uses to treat the overweight or obesity and it's that they are treating this as a symptom… so they say okay you are overweight because you are overeating so all that you have to do it's just to eat less…

SAMIA: Yeah…

LAURA: You just have to start calorie counting and so on… but the problem is that... yes it's true if we are overweight it's because we are overeating so either we are eating too much or we are eating enough to maintain our current weight but the question is why are we overeating… so we are overeating... we can overeat for several reasons but the most… the ones that I see the most would be because we are over hunger and this is a hormonal imbalance and it's normally coming from our eating patterns so how we nourish our bodies and how…when… it's more about what we eat and when we eat… okay that makes… that produces us changes in our hormonal hormones that make us feel more hunger than we feel than we should at least… and we can also feel… have more difficulties to feel full so it's like we are not sensing this fullness sensation okay… then we have maybe we are overeating because we have over desire for food so this is again coming from our eating patterns so what we eat can determine how much desire we have for food okay… so it's like our brain give us and give more importance to food than it really does and it creates this urgency for eating and it has to happen now otherwise something terrible can happen you know… and then the third one is emotional eating so it's when we are using food to neutralize our emotions those emotions that we don't want to feel uncomfortable and unpleasant emotions like stress angry anxiety and so on… but it can be also positive emotions it can be when we are celebrating something with people we tend to use food to reinforce this and food actually works as... it helps us to increase our positive emotion and it help us to decrease to reduce our negative emotions… so and I think that the main problem is that we are not working from the root cause of the problem…

SAMIA: Yeah…

LAURA: I always think about this example of somebody who has broken his arm... so it's like weight loss industry it's treating the symptoms so it's like treating a broken arm with a painkiller rather than putting a cast or surgery you know… so really what we I think that the change that has to happen in this industry it's start working from the root cause of the problem and say okay broken arm of course it is painful but let's treat the cause of the problem…

SAMIA: Yes that is...

LAURA: I think that this is very very important…

SAMIA: Yes…

LAURA: If you want to succeed if you want to have a permanent effect and also another thing that I have found it's when we are talking about the losing weight it's just like hey eat less and that's all… you've got this… but our bodies are much more complex than that and our minds too and it has to be a multi-dimensional approach… we have to work on our mindset the way we talk to ourselves the way we think okay as well we have to manage... learn how to manage our emotions because even if you have lost 100 pounds if you are still dealing with your stress using food...

SAMIA: Yeah…

LAURA: It's just a matter of time you're going to gain it back…

SAMIA: Yeah…

LAURA: So this is really very important and then of course implementing a healthy lifestyle as well which means not only eating healthy but first of all eating in a way that reduces your hunger and your desire for food and then start to eat healthy in a sustainable way okay and then not only about eating because you can also be overweight or obese because you have a sleep less problem or because you don't manage your stress… and stress itself without eating itself can also make you gain weight... and of course exercise it's also very important…

SAMIA: Right yeah thank you for highlighting the complexity of the issue and how important it is for us to sort of understand the deeper root causes of why we're overeating… I so agree with you that if you don't address these root causes you really cannot hope to have a sustainable solution…

LAURA: Yeah exactly exactly…

SAMIA: Yeah go ahead go ahead…

LAURA: No it's just that I think also that it's not only about shedding pounds it's much more than this... it really has to happen a change of identity... you cannot be the same person weighing 100 pounds less the way you think… if you maintain if you want to maintain this you are going to think differently you are not going to think... what I have seen is that the main difference between thinner person and a person who has an overweight is that the person who has an overweight is all the time or much more uses much more time and energy thinking about food what I am going to eat what can I eat what have I eaten what can I eat next why do I eat so much which is the next diet that I can start when I am going to get rid of all these pounds… so there's all this internal dialogue that normally thin people doesn't think about so it's like smokers who thinks usually especially when they are stressed they tend to think about all the time when is the next cigarette and the person who doesn't smoke…

so really when you become a thinner person but a natural thinner person you are no longer thinking all the time about your weight about food and so on… so for me this is a main difference and it's a sign as well that you have changed and you have become this new person… so really focus when you are trying to lose weight into this person that you want to become and have to become in order to maintain that weight loss this is really critical…

SAMIA: Yeah yeah it makes me think about how... one of the very important teachings about how you create change and how you create sustainable change is that you know you sort of have to understand… so if you want to lose... in this case we're talking about losing weight but even in… like I learned about this idea first in a different context of healing my relationship with money… it's like you know if you want to become a rich person if you want to live in… with a sense of abundance in your life and have wealth then wealthy people have a very different mindset and they have very different behaviors than people who don't feel in abundance who are always struggling with their finances and so forth... and my teacher said you know if you want to change your reality if you want to live a more abundant reality you have to change your mindset and you have to begin to think like the person who lives in abundance thinks and you have to begin to act like that person who lives in abundance acts and only then can that reality become true for you… so you're saying that is also true in this context so it makes sense…

LAURA: Exactly I think that it works for any area it's still the same... it's about the lasting change…

SAMIA: Yeah…

LAURA: And this is true that also when we want to make a lasting change... so changing it's easy... okay we can say hey yes I want to do this and start to do something for a while but it has to be more profound than this…

SAMIA: Yeah…

LAURA: And normally what I have found is that there's a lot of belief system that's underneath that it's blocking us to go forward... so for example in this area in particularly or which is overweight there's a lot of fear there's a lot of shame behind this overweight… so we have to go there to find what exactly their belief system uncover that belief system and question it because most of the things that we have acquired because it is really something learned and acquired comes from our childhood and other things that we have learned from our parents our environment and that we think that those things are coming from us but we have just learned this… so it's about hey is this true is this true or not... is this serving me okay if it's not serving me let it go let it go and then it's about practicing new thoughts new beliefs that you want to believe and there's… it comes that what we have been talking about so start to think about that person that you want to become how is she dressing how is she talking how does she think when she is done inside an environment where there's a lot of food for example how is she behaving and start to emulate her… this is really really important I would say that it's more about this belief work...

SAMIA: Yeah…

LAURA: Once you have belief and you have imprint yourself with herself... when you have embodied herself all the changes come easily it's like flowing…

SAMIA: Yeah…

LAURA: And it becomes a lasting change so it's easier than to say no… of course I can have this cookie but I choose not to have it now because I want to lose weight… it's much more easy say this when you have embodied that future version of yourself then trying just to say hey I just want to get rid of all these kilos and then I will be happy and then I will be that person… no you are not going to become that person just for shedding after shedding those kilos or those pounds…

SAMIA: Yeah…

LAURA: You are not going to be happier when you get there... you can already be happy now and in fact you have to be happy now you have to love your body now in order to get there… so we have to make reverse engineering…

SAMIA: Yes oh my gosh I just absolutely love this point that you made because as a happiness expert this is one of the most critically important lessons that I try to share with all of my people that you know happiness is not a destination… it's...

LAURA: Exactly…

SAMIA: …you know it's not like somewhere that you have to get to or that you can only get to at a certain point in time… you know true happiness it comes from inside of us and you have access to it right now every moment you know so it's really... to access that happiness it's really about how you're thinking and how you're acting in that moment and to think and act in ways that are supporting your ability to be happy right now and loving yourself is such a huge part of that…

LAURA: Yes and this is really what I have seen as well that there's a lot of people trying just trying to get rid of all this kilograms or pounds to love themselves you know and I know that it's very shocking for them when I explain them but you know that you can already love you right now and it's like no this is not possible you know so it's a it's about working and especially uncovering this belief system so we really have to go deep and go to the places where they've never been in fact just to uncover this and normally what happened it's like oh my god it's just a sentence but it's no blocking me and then when you question that you say okay this is not serving me so and it's about also building this ladder I call it's like a ladder so you cannot go from I love my body too... sorry... I hate my body too I love my body… so we have to work we have to find different beliefs to believe so we have to become a little bit more neutral and then start practicing different beliefs until getting to the love... I love my body… so it's not only coming like this it's not... it's a process that we have to go through…

SAMIA: That's also a very excellent point because if you try to jump straight to... like if currently you don't love your body and then you try to jump straight into thinking I love my body I love my body it doesn't feel true it doesn't feel real you're like oh no I'm just lying to myself and if you think or believe that you're just lying to yourself then that's not going to be helpful that's going to make you feel worse because...

LAURA: Exactly no…

SAMIA: Yeah…

LAURA: You're lying to yourself yeah that's it's not about repeating sentences like a mantra I think that it's much more about finding something that you can truly believe for example from I hate my body it's okay when I look at the mirror I see a body I have a body this is totally true everybody can say that I have a body and... so this is easier to believe and then well I have a body that helps me to experience this world where I am living in… so we are gently coming to a more positive thought and it's about this process of changing beliefs until you get there and it's funny because it's not that difficult once you start there if you are practicing every single day and when I say practice it's not about repeating those sentences like a mantra... it's really feeling them… so I know that I have a body there's not a lot to feel but when we start to feel to build more positive beliefs then you start... you have to feel them so when you say for example okay now let's focus on something that I love from my body I love my toes what do you feel when you see your beautiful toes and feel that you know until you get there and it's the same when we imagine we visualize our next version with less weight it's exactly the same… how is she feeling when she has get there okay she feels proud or she feels more confident so start to feel this now because you can create those feelings now for you…

SAMIA: That is another...

LAURA: Just by imagining this…

SAMIA: Yes what an excellent excellent point that you have just highlighted oh my gosh because here's another thing that I'm like constantly trying to drill into my people is that you know our emotions are directly causally responsible for how we act… if the way we want to act and the way we are feeling is not in alignment we are setting ourselves up for a very tough battle and we're mostly going to lose it… like you can just buy the power of your will you know go for a short time and do what your mind consciously wants to do but in the long term our feelings win... our feelings are such powerful forces that in the long term we cannot continue to suppress or deny or act in ways that's not in harmony with our feelings so I love that you brought this awareness to us right now thank you…

LAURA: No and this is also an excellent point would you just talk about this congruence this coherence between what we feel and what we do…

SAMIA: Yeah…

LAURA: Because a lot of this is something that I have seen as well a lot of my clients start to just do the things that he... I have to do they know exactly what they have to do because they have tried so many diets they know exactly what to do… but they are not doing in a sustainable way they just want to lose all those kilos or those pounds as faster as possible and when we are approaching this journey... but I think that you can apply to any journey that you are working on okay… any lasting change when you are doing it from a place of resistance from this place of obligation in order to get... I want to get there in order for me to feel happy…

SAMIA: Yeah…

LAURA: You are this is not going to help you to... this is not sustainable…

SAMIA: Yeah yeah…

LAURA: So it's about... and also what you talk about these emotions the importance of emotions everything that we do we do it because we feel in a certain way…

SAMIA: Yeah…

LAURA: Or because we want to feel in a certain way so for example people who wants to lose weight... in fact they are not expecting… it's not about the number on the scale it's because they want to feel more confident they want to feel better with themselves you know… so it's always about a feeling when we buy or make a reservation I don't know the Maldives it's not about the wood the piece of wood over the water… we are really making a reservation because we want to feel... I don't know calm relax luxury you know… so there's a feeling behind always everything we do and it's amazing I am still amazed to... I don't understand why they don't teach us this in at school it's so important so important or which is about emotional work and how to deal with our emotions…

SAMIA: Yeah true…

LAURA: Because somebody who just neglects and say no no I don't want to feel negative emotions and then they are using food some of them alcohol consumption over consumption finally shopping over shopping over drinking overeating… they are not dealing with their emotions and finally it's just an emotion… it's just the vibration in our body you know… that's the worst thing that can happen really it's like okay what about if I open myself to feel sad what I are you going to feel it's very uncomfortable it's very unpleasant you feel something here in the chest that constrains that goes up it's painful here but after two minutes you feel better if you open yourself up to feel this…

SAMIA: Yes oh my gosh that's another really awesome point... is that if you like truly allow your feelings to just be then they will naturally resolve themselves… the negative emotions will just naturally go away because the way I like to think about it is that our negative emotions are sort of like an alarm bell and when you just honor them by just allowing them to come up and allow yourself to feel what they're meant to make you feel then that alarm bell you know that brain is like oh you have heard my alarm you are understanding what I'm trying to tell you okay so now I can stop ringing the alarm…

LAURA: Exactly yeah... it's exactly like this so it's... as human beings in this world we are about to experience half of the time positive emotions and half of the time negative emotion but the problem is that we have so many inputs in our society all which is advertisement so you just have to watch the tv and they are just going to tell you how to be more happy… you just have to eat something buy something or drink something you know… so it's like you have to be happy it's that accessible all those pleasures around us nowadays that we are lost in this trap…

SAMIA: Yeah…

LAURA: And we think that it's not right to feel bad when we feel bad but it's something that it's totally normal so we have to normalize what is normal…

SAMIA: Yeah…

LAURA: And it's about feeling this…

SAMIA: Yeah and it also makes me think about like you know when people are chasing happiness in this way it's sort of like again just treating the surface symptoms… it's like the example you gave of if you have a broken bone and you just try to heal that with painkillers you're just treating a symptom… and so when you're like chasing happiness or thinking that you know you'll be happy when you've lost more weight or when you have more money or this and that you are just sort of going after a symptom of what's making you unhappy right now... so yeah so it seems like we just keep coming back to this idea that you have to go to the root cause and treat and heal the root cause of why you're struggling right now whether it's with your weight or anything else…

LAURA: Exactly exactly…

SAMIA: So you know because we are running a little short on time what... can you tell me like about if you like… about any particular program that you have that you use to really help people or if there is any particular tool that you would like to share with our listeners right now or any tips or strategies that they can use so that you know yeah they can begin the process of helping themselves…

LAURA: To lose weight or...

SAMIA: Yeah to lose weight but also just to live better and you know begin to sort of dig deeper in into doing this work... of just leading a better life because you're not just a weight loss coach you're a life and weight loss coach you’re a lifestyle physician… so anything that you would like to share with our listeners right now about how they can begin to do something to help themselves…

LAURA: I would say at least the most what I… for me was the most transformative change that I have seen when I have done my certification… something that I had done not for becoming a coach it was just a gift for myself as a personal development… but for me it was such a transformative change that I told myself oh my god this is something that everybody should know about... so for me it's just to realize it's very simple but that our thoughts create our reality… so what we are thinking is going to make us feel in a certain way always all our thoughts are going to make us feel in a certain way and when we feel in a certain way this is going to drive us to take some actions or inactions and these are going to have a result… so for me this has really been a game changer to see that all my power it's me it's my power you know so the power over my life what I create this is about all the things that I am thinking… my thoughts create my feelings and that drive me to take the actions and I am going to get a result from this so it's about stop blaming what's happening in the world other people so all those things are just the circumstances… things that we cannot control... we have no control over COVID we have no control about what my husband thinks or says or does I have no control over that… so stop trying to control other things and trying to say to tell to yourself no I will be better when he does this...

SAMIA: Yeah

LAURA: …you know or I will be better when COVID it's over… no what are you making those things mean what are your perception about that reality what is happening in the world and then see how this is affecting in your life… and when you discover this it's amazing and it's about this journey of taking ownership and responsibility of my own thoughts my own feelings my actions and my results it's not about that ah she has made me sad or he told me something terrible and I am feeling so bad… no sorry he say words and my perception is this I can always choose to think different…

SAMIA: Yeah…

LAURA: So we can choose our thoughts and we are not aware of that we are choosing thoughts but unconsciously and we are not aware of how much damage this is causing in our lives and we are thinking that it's about others and what's happening in the world but we have all control over that and for me this has been life-changing…

SAMIA: Yes… me too actually... you're so right ah... thank you for sharing that Laura thank you so much for all the time that you have given us today and all the wisdom that you have shared with us today… I really really appreciate it and I'm sure our listeners will really benefit from everything that you have shared with them right now… and you know to our listeners… we are going to be posting Laura's links in the show notes so make sure go ahead right now click on that link and connect with Laura right now… and yeah I think that's… I'm feeling very complete now... any other last words from you Laura…

LAURA: Thank you so much for this opportunity it has been a pleasure for me to be here with you and all your listeners so thank you so much for your time as well…

SAMIA: Thank you…