SAMIA: Welcome! Hello, Salam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna and Privet! It's really really amazing to be with you... And we have a very special guest today so I know you'll be so happy you joined us …and our guest today is Mary Alouette who is also known as Alarke …she's a singer-songwriter music producer and artist coach... I think that is so cool... Welcome Alarke…

ALARKE: Cool thanks... It's great to be here... 

SAMIA: Yes… And I'm so excited to have you here because we are going to sort of present you as our case study of how to make money doing what you love... So I'm so excited to have you here... I just want to welcome you again… welcome again...

ALARKE: Thank you again... It's a pleasure...

SAMIA: Awesome awesome… Okay so will you just start off by telling us a little bit more about who you are and what you do… 

ALARKE: Yes... So I'm a singer songwriter and music producer and my journey through my music has led to this overarching theme of finding your authentic voice and who you truly are... I've been blessed to be doing music for my whole life… I grew up doing professional music theater and pop and film and then I became an opera singer and I was an international opera singer and I was singing at Carnegie Hall and in Austria and Italy and castles in the Alps...  And I got my degree for it from The Schulich School of Music at McGill University in Montréal, Canada... And while I was there I was going to opera school by day and then all sorts of other kinds of music at night... electronic music Indie rock afrobeat jazz punk whatever... And it was just in his quest to find my true voice and opera wasn't quite for me and so I fell into a career singing Gypsy jazz music in New York City and I did that full time for seven years and it was a blast... I loved it... and at the same time I worked at it …and with that I would sing with my bandmates at the Rainbow Room and the Kennedy Center at the Millennium Stage at the Kennedy Center in Washington DC… I would join artist programs and sing at the capital for the 4th of July and went to France and stayed in a Romani Gypsy caravan doing Gypsy jazz music... That quite wasn't fully me either... And I can explain why I was doing these things but like one foot in one foot out which ties into finding your authentic voice... But I would do that at the same time I would work at a music studio in Brooklyn and I would even sit in on sessions that they were engineering with my friends Daniel Linus and Alex Dodricson Founzernick who were engineering ASAP Rocky... So he's like multi platinum artist at this time and I got to sit in the sessions in the system as well as engineer some of my own and other artists… and I would release albums and songs but they weren't quite fully made they were still more like indie pop and I just wanted to make dance music and I was teaching on the side throughout all this time but there came a time when it was a divide… like you can't spend your time doing both on all of these different avenues... So what's it going to be… And so I decided to stop doing Gypsy jazz for the most part unless someone called me but I was going to stop pursuing it and focused that time instead on my own dance music and coaching artists …and so that's what I do now and I moved to Los Angeles and I'm here releasing new music I have a studio session tomorrow with someone finishing a project that we're writing for sync licensing for film and TV... I just got a contract back for a remix that I'm doing for a new song of mine it’s like house music remix of a UK garage shuffle two step pop song that I produced …planning a music video for that this weekend... So that's what I'm up to... And the work that I do with other artists and coaching  is kind of like the journey that I've been through and I created something to help other artists... So artists who are emerging and professionals singers songwriters and music producers who want to find what their identity is and get their music out there and build an audience that listens to their music and tells them that they were listening to while they're on their airplane or in the office or like support their music through buying their merchandise or supporting projects and videos and stuff like that... And so I love helping artists find out who they truly are and have confidence and do what they love to do…

SAMIA: Yeah I love that... I love that so much... Oh gosh okay so clearly it's so important as you've been sharing with us about finding your voice... Can you tell me more about what does it really take to find your voice… Like what's a big problem someone might get stuck in when they're trying to find their voice…

ALARKE: Yeah... it's literal and figurative… So literally it's singing the genre that you want to sing in and get feedback from trained supportive ears who can help you find the golden area of your voice that sounds the best and right in that register and in that range and seeing the genres that light your heart up the most... Figuratively for me... it's been about getting out of codependency …stop pleasing other people... So I come from a dysfunctional family and I was raised that I'm learning now more and more each day how much codependency I've developed and people pleasing… that I did things thinking that it would bring… I could earn love through jumping through all these hoopes... Did I want to sing opera… Not really... But if I sing opera I mean my mom would love me... Did it... No… It wasn't for me... And then so I sing jazz I didn't even really want to do jazz but I thought it would make someone love me and it didn't but so I feel it's starting to find your true self within and do things for yourself or that inner child or your person who is you and there's no one to please except yourself... What does that person want… 

SAMIA: Yeah... I can…Just based on what you're saying about the literal aspects of finding your voice... I can see how that would actually connect to even the not literal aspects in the sense that if you for example find yourself singing in a genre that you don't really love... it's... I'm imagining pretty likely that it might not fit within that ideal range for your voice at that more literal level also…

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ALARKE: Yeah definitely... And then also from a technical standpoint with vocal technique there's the fear a lot of people as they're learning how to feel their voice  because singing we have to learn by feeling because you can't always hear yourself well and when you learn by feeling when we are learning where to place the sound and we're afraid of being judged, we hold back. And so by holding back we can't even fully feel where the sound should be placed in order for it to sound free and vibrant... So it's like releasing fear of judgment from how you sound what your voice sounds like so that you can just go forward and put it into place …like if you shoot a basketball you have to shoot and you have to follow through... but if you're singing it's like imagine shooting a basketball and you kind of do this half way I don't know if you ever watch the Simpsons but Mr. Burns like this old man couldn't throw and he's like... and it's like if you're singing and you're like too afraid you're going to put a veil over your sound kind of thing... and you're never going to find what you sound like because you're just holding back too much… So it has to be like releasing that judgment but maybe sometimes it's useful to do it in a safe space with a vocal coach who you trust … they…I think it's important that they're experienced but also you get along well with personal chemistry because singing is very raw... there's no instrument between you and the listener… 

SAMIA: Oh my gosh oh my gosh... just what you shared over there... I can see so much wisdom there even for those people like me who are not professional singers or even very good amateur singers... But there's such amazing life lessons that you just highlighted I mean just the idea of oh my gosh learning to feel your voice and the impact that it's making... That's actually something that I'm working on in terms of… just two three years ago... I met my spiritual coach that I'm working with now and he says you are connected to your spirit like your highest self your highest spiritual self doesn't know language doesn't know the concepts of language… and it’s… you know because it's in the space where the experiences of complete unity you know... And so there's no division in that spiritual experience... And so the language of the spirit is actually feeling and it communicates with you through feelings so you have to learn to listen to your feelings to be able to listen to the voice or the guidance of the spirit…

ALARKE: Wow... I just felt this like… wash all over my body...

SAMIA: Yeah... And you know one of the very... and I thought I understood what he meant... I thought he was just talking about our mental emotional feelings because you know I'm a happiness expert so I've spent many years tuning into my mental emotional feelings... But he said it's not just your mental emotional feelings you also have to tune into the feelings of every body part because your body is actually essentially your unconscious mind and your spirit communicates through the feelings of your body as well... And so like when you're walking when you're sitting when you're talking you have to pay attention to how you're feeling... And I'm still practicing that… These days in the context of when I'm walking …but my gosh it just takes a whole different skill level to be able to learn to listen like really to... because the feelings… they're not... they're so subtle sometimes you know they're not always loud and obvious... So you have to really learn to pay attention in such careful but also loving ways you know it's like if you're tense if you are holding something of yourself whether it's physically or mentally... you cannot listen to the feelings and that was like I heard you talk about that as well... Oh my gosh...

ALARKE: That's a big thing right now... My motto for this year is "do less better"... And part of that is I want to further work on self-differentiation to get out of enmeshment with my dysfunctional family and like grow up more and be a loving adult more… And part of it is that I have stuffed way too many things on my plate all the time because if I do that then I don't have to feel...

SAMIA: Yeah…

ALARKE: And I don't have to pay attention to these feelings... And as singers are also learning to sing it can be extremely like building the blocks can be very slow working note by note... Not all like they were working note by note but you can liken the process to that because in order to develop your sense of pitch and be in tune and know where to place the sound you have to do things one piece at a time isolated and allow for the patience to find to where that sound sits and to stop trying to run the whole song from start to finish and do the dance and deliver to the audience because you're not going to be making much progress... you make much more progress by slowing down and doing piece by piece to find how your voice sits and then also figuratively finding like if we say your emotions are your compass and your guidance system.... Well for me I was numbing out in many different compulsions which I'm working on changing but it's like doing less creating space in my day... Blocking calendaring breaks having my miracle morning where every day and I'm blessed because I don't have a child so I don't have any dependants… I’m single... So I don't have anyone in my house except for me… But I spend an hour and a half up in the morning reading writing journaling meditating praying... And it's like my miracle morning... It's my space to listen to myself and I'm learning to start to do things listen more to what I want to do how to earn money doing what I want to do because I'm actually listening to myself and not just rushing rushing through because I'm afraid by worry and if I worry that I'm controlling things and then I just this endless cycle... No...

SAMIA: Oh my gosh... you just spoke more of the lessons my spiritual teacher teaches...

ALARKE: Oh really…

SAMIA: Oh yes... Oh my gosh yes... So as I was mentioning I started practicing learning to feel my feelings through the walking practice... He like literally had to slow things down and break every aspect of the walking process to the point where like we do this… I guess you can call it like a sort of walking meditation but the point of it is to walk with utmost mindfulness and walk with utmost attention to what we're doing …and feeling every feeling that you can possibly tune into so that you can then... like at first it's about just becoming aware and you know how exactly are you are swinging your leg... You know how are you placing your foot onto the floor… the force that you are utilizing when you put your foot on the floor... You know all these like tiny little details that he points out and he's like pay attention to it… And it's like when you first start doing that when you break things down to that extent you're like oh my God... I thought I knew how to walk... And now you're like I don't think I know how to walk I think I've been walking wrong my whole life... Yeah but it's not about that... It's just about like you sometimes have to break things down and just pay attention to one little thing at a time before you can put things back together again in a way where it feels seamless and it flows and everything is relaxed... You know sometimes you just have to first go through this more detail-oriented process before you can get back in the flow…  

ALARKE: Yeah… agreed… And I feel like the path then for finding your voice figuratively like walking as a metaphor... your path becomes straighter when you stop and you look at what's going on or you slow down not stop… all these different curves you've been walking...

SAMIA: Oh my gosh... You just made another intensely spiritual analogy... It's actually Muslim's favorite analogy… the idea of the straight path and this spiritual journey as finding that straight path and walking the path of life in a way where you deviate less and less over time from the straight path… yeah… So it’s not that there are no other paths to you know reach these spiritual goals that we have and the spiritual destination that we have of enlightenment of unity with the divine it's that there is a straight path and the straight path is the shortest most direct most simple not always easy but for sure most simple route that you can take... and so our goal as spiritual… as people on this spiritual quest is to find the straight path and learn to walk the straight path more and more better and better...

ALARKE: Yeah… It is... And in terms of making money doing what you love and finding that straight path like you know you can think about like your stock rises...

SAMIA: Yeah

ALARKE: ...bell curve when you really hone into your zone of genius... And it's important to have compassion when you're figuring it out... And I think it's important to try many things... There's someone in my world right now who was let go of a job... stuff happens right… but this person could go back to the same field and get more acquainted… doesn't like this profession… wants to find a new profession... But he's just meditating on the ideas a lot rather than just going and trying things... And it's like well I'm just gonna meditate and try to find it… like you're never gonna find it by just meditating... You have to go out and you have to do… And I didn't make this up... but I definitely found this in my experience… Marie Forleo says… she probably didn't make this up either... clarity comes from action… like… confidence comes from clarity... And clarity comes from action...

SAMIA: Yeah

ALARKE: ...you have to go do... Yeah... just try things...

SAMIA: I agree… I'm reminded of like a bit of life wisdom... That's also saying I don't know how widely known… but it basically says... "you like what you know"... you know so often we think we like what we like… but actually you like what you know... So it makes sense... Go try stuff out... The more you know the more opportunity you give yourself to find what you like… like truly like …more deeply like that resonates with you even more even better...

ALARKE: Yeah... Yeah it's so true...

SAMIA: So cool... Okay! Oh my gosh... Is there another big problem that you can share with us even more wisdom around... in terms of like when you are on your journey to making money doing what you love... finding your voice …what’s maybe a next step that you need to take or next problem that you need to be aware of that you can run into...

ALARKE: Self abandonment… And this could tie into fear of success or fear of fear… fear of failure... A lot of people have heard about fear failure... Maybe everyone has heard about fear of success but might not identify with it so much but... abandoned... This comes up sometimes that I see is like when people are on the verge… it definitely comes up in me I'll speak for myself... It's the… because it's like well what's on the other side… If I do this thing that I really want to do... How is it going to change the relationships in my life... What is my life gonna look like... I don't know... So I'll do enough to the point and then like hold back before I get there... Well actually that's not quite my experience right now but... I think there's also something with the art of allowing yourself to let yourself do what you really want to do... We hear about imposter syndrome… I haven't really felt much like that's never resonated with me but allowing yourself to be... allowing yourself to have the different experiences in life that you want... And actually okay... a mentor of mine right now… His name is Jerry Wise and he's an expert in family systems in relation family relationship systems which like how families are… influences our perspective on the world... is that it's our first insular community before we step out into the larger world... but he talks about… here's his great saying... "not how but when"... So it's like how am I going to realize my dream of being a performing artist touring around the world putting out releases on Spotify and building a fan base and making money at my shows... and from merchandise and from fans... How am I going to do it... And then like kind of taking some action it's like it's not how are you going to do it's when are you going to do it because there's no one path as we all know and opportunities will reveal themselves to you along the way... And when are you going to be willing to say yes even when you don't see the outcome so clearly... so not how but when… I love that that's something that I'm grappling with right now in certain realms of business or my music endeavors that I'm working in or personal things that I wanted to release...

SAMIA: That is… that is really cool... I like that... you know I’m going to think more about how I can apply that in my own life and space... That is really cool…

ALARKE: Yeah...

SAMIA: That is really cool... Ah okay... Okay and now I'm… you know... man... okay... I'm wondering if as we move towards the later part of our time together now... can we share a few or rather you share a few practical steps for creating business success... Yeah...

ALARKE: Yeah... Number one.. get clear on what your desire is and even with an understanding that this is flexible and can evolve over time but if you have one just a direction... And two is... it's about like your support system and like are you allowing yourself to earn money …like what is your money story do you have anything that is... Do you believe that you can't make money doing what you love... Because if that's the case you're gonna sabotage yourself before you even try... Or those pop its head up and you won't see it coming... Three would be... defining what it is that you have to offer …so if you're an artist that would be your work or if you're making a business what's your business's offer... Four... is who is your target market… And so as an artist who's your fan… but getting clear on this I think is crucial …it's also looking at competitors even if people say oh the only competition is yourself …it's like yeah... well that's true and there are other people out there doing similar things... What do you have that sets you apart... And from there then it's starting to look at how are you going to package up what you're doing... So if you're an artist like is going to be through music releases a tour merchandise or business like your service or your product... Yeah... and then from there there's just a lot of marketing and systems which we go into detail …but those are the steps and building relationships in the industry and then also with clients and fans is crucial…

SAMIA: Awesome… That's really helpful to know and just to have that sense of outline because you know again I think we can go back to the analogy of the straight path to just know those like basic signposts or steps it sort of can help you help you see am I on the straight path… Am I anywhere close to it you know... So thank you for that... And I think my …one of my last questions for you for today… I know the things that you talk about that I thought was super brilliant is this concept of blissipline... can you tell me a little bit more about that…

ALARKE: Yeah this is a term that my coach Gina Devi would use... blissipline… but... Okay so here's a very practical thing that has really influenced My life in a big way… And it's about managing your time because time is the most precious thing that we have... So managing your time and living by your calendar... So I calendar everything… everything goes in my google calendar which connects to my iPhone and I run google calendar through my phone app my phone and my computer and I also have like written planners but these are more for like jotting down ideas …I love pretty pens and stationery so it's like my time to write and then things go from here into my calendar and into asana... And for those who don't know asana is a project management app that you can use for like sharing things with a virtual assistant or teammate whatever... It doesn't matter any project management app and googles calendar or whatever digital calendar you use... And so the idea is that you block off your time …every single space in the calendar is accounted for and it's actually very enabling and it helps me be free... I am very much a free spirit and when I first learned this concept I was like no way like this is going to take all of my freedom I'm not going to be spontaneous I love being spontaneous like how is this going to work I'm an artist I'm a creative... But actually it's given… it's lowered my anxiety because I see how much time I actually have to do things… so I do it like this... And this is a structure that I've learned from multiple multi-millionaire entrepreneurs who share how they manage your time but this one in particular is from the life coach school with Brooke Castillo and she calls her process Monday hour one... So whenever you decide to sit down at your calendar at the same time every week I do mine sometimes on Monday morning sometimes Sunday nights but I'll take two hours it doesn't take me one hour it takes me two hours... And you write… well the first you write down everything that you have to do on a piece of paper or multiple pieces of paper but it gets out of your brain your brain is not a storage facility it's a processor so you get things out of your head onto paper and it could be anywhere of your professional or personal life just all goes there... Then from there you put it into your calendar... So the first thing to do when you put in your calendar is you block off your free time goes first... So I block off my miracle mornings I block off lunch I block off dinner I block off Sundays I don't work I block off like certain nights well every night I have like either it's like I walk off like my ritual time at night where I'm just like taking a shower and like watching whatever or listening to a podcast or reading whatever and then before like my bedtime or even if it's just blocking off huge chunks of time that I'm taking off because I'm going out on a date or I'm going out to see friends or whatever it's just blocked off... And then from there then you block off your recurring calendared events so for example meeting with the client at the same time every week that gets blocked off... And so you're starting to see how the puzzle fits into place and where you have time left over and I also block off breaks in the middle of my afternoons or in between clients where I put a half an hour so I'm going to go on a walk which is actually what I've blocked off after our call is I block off a break so I'm going to go and walk around the block and also plant some new plants that I just got before I have a sales call... So you block that off and then you work backwards and then you have to think... like okay what are the most important things to get done... And then also as a business owner and as an artist an artist-entrepreneur I have different colored calendars for my music studio and music business time I have calendars that I do hashtag girl boss I have calendars for my body babe which is I'm like working out whatever I’ve calendars that are synced to acuity for when my client's book sessions or when I'm booking sessions it blocks off that time and just like health appointment calendars... And I put these in different colors so that when I just glance at my calendar I know colors are associated with different things so I know I can like take a look briefly and be like okay am I actually using my time that's in accordance with my vision of how I want to use my life and what's actually moving the needle in those areas …and in the… you could even go I do this is that in my google calendar description of the events I'll write down what I'm doing in its events like from my events that are on the paper I take what's in the paper and I put it in the calendar and then you throw you crumple up the paper and you throw it away and it's kind of fun to like crumple it up and it's you can like throw it on the floor and then go pick it up... and then and …but you can think about this as the balance between masculine and feminine energies... like the structure gives the masculine container for the feminine energy to be relaxed and creative in this time and I never have to wonder like am I… am I doing enough am I staying on track or if …something things come up every day... I switch my calendar around every day it's not militaristic and it's not doesn't have to be rigid it's just a plan... and if I'm going to move I move things around today but move things around …but I just get a grip on how much time things actually take so that I'm not over committing to things that realistically cannot get done and so by this by having this balance of the masculine-feminine it's this blissipline and I can create a space …and if I notice that I'm bringing in like how am I... I notice how little free time I actually have and like we said earlier like I don't have I have kids like I don't have a husband and I don't have wrinkles either... not that I'm saying the kids and husband bring wrinkles… no… I'm just saying that... like I have little time and I don't have other people who are dependent on me or I'm you know serving in any way... So I feel blessed that I have more time than a lot of people… but even then how much little time do I actually have and so I've become much more aware of how I use my time so that it's really aligned with my vision and then with that it's the blissipline the spaciousness... And then when I'm off on lunch I'm like truly off doing what I want to do …I go drive to this beautiful neighborhood nearby these gorgeous houses and I walk around listening to whatever I'm inspired by and that's my lunch or you know...

SAMIA: Yeah I love it I love it... And I must say I follow a similar methodology and it's so helpful like I honestly couldn't survive without using a system like this because as an entrepreneur you know especially when I first started I didn't have a team... I was a solopreneur... There's just so many balls that you have to be managing right and there's no way you can humanly keep track of everything without writing things down and not getting stressed... I mean I've seen my mom she has a resistance to writing things down and she's somehow for I don't know as long as I've known her most of her life she managed to somehow hold things in her brain but she used to get stressed out… and now as she has been aging it's becoming more and more challenging for her to just hold things in her brain and she becomes more stressed when she forgets something or she gets just stressed thinking about what if I forget something... So it's just like you said it sounds like it would be something that would tie you down but it actually in its own amazing way it actually frees you up…

ALARKE: It does it does... and when I work with clients and I you know suggest to do this oftentimes I met with resistance… I don't know... I don't want to do it... but I tell you I am glad Samia you and I are on the same page because it's so freeing...

SAMIA: Yes… And what you said you know to our listeners I want to emphasize what you said about blocking off that free time first or the rest time first... you know because we have so much to do... we have so much to do if you don't block off that self-care time first you're never going to be able to make self care time…

ALARKE: How are you going to learn to feel… how are you going to learn to walk...

SAMIA: Yes...

ALARKE: If you don't have the time set off...

SAMIA: Yes... yes… And then you'll burn yourself out... and when you're talking about doing things in a fun and easy way... oh my gosh self-care is essential... self-care is absolutely essential…

ALARKE: Yes and like we were talking about like being able to listen to yourself and feel yourself like if we don't block that time off then it's just piling so many things on the plate like arriving at the airport with your bag stuffed and things falling out which I've definitely done you know... It's like life doesn't have to be like that…

SAMIA: Yeah... oh my gosh... you just reminded me of some research that is showing the importance of boredom time... Actually this research they were doing with a lot of young… young adults and teenagers you know because they are a generation that is growing up with technology from like literally the time when their little toddlers babies …they are …they have screens and they get used to this way of life where they always have some way to entertain themselves …something to do... And they don't know how to just sit and do nothing and get bored …and on the one hand it sounds wonderful to always have something to entertain you... But what this research was finding is that actually in the down times when you don't have anything to do when you are maybe even feeling bored actually that's the time when your brain is able to do what it needs to do to take a rest because it needs a rest and you know like process things like all the information the data that it's constantly getting slammed at …to be able to process that at a deeper level so you can understand things more deeply and make connections with different things that you learned heard etc... to be able to connect those different bits of learning... So it actually that's a huge aspect of our intelligence …that is what intelligence means... like you know just knowledge by itself doesn't make you intelligent... what makes you intelligent is being able to process that knowledge and being able to figure out what to do with that knowledge and your brain cannot do that if it's just busy all the time you constantly bombarded it with new data... It needs downtime to be able to put it put that information together in some way that makes sense you know... So it's so important I'm so glad that you brought that up... it's amazing... Thank you…

ALARKE: You're welcome...

SAMIA: Yeah oh my gosh... I'm having so much fun talking with you and I'm so sorry that I have to ask you to share any last words that you have for today...  

ALARKE: Sure... I'll share my favorite quote … this is not fully attached to finding your well we could tie it in... So I'll preface this by having compassion for oneself or finding that middle path or finding what leads you up learning that things that were in your past experience don't define who you are now and what's in your future and this is a quote from a course in miracles and it's... "let me learn to give the past away realizing that in doing so I'm giving up nothing"... and I love this quote because so much …it just speaks on so many levels but for me it's like I've been holding on to so many things that don't serve me and realizing like the past could be an illusion and we know like time is an illusion it's not linear... So much of how the universe works is invisible in quantum energy …and finding your authentic voice being paid to do what you love …it's about releasing anything that you used to hold true about yourself and having the space here and now to process these connections and to create a structure for you to be free and spontaneous...

SAMIA: Thank you for that... and how can people get in touch with you...

ALARKE: Sure... you can sign up for my newsletter… it's @supremesound.life supreme sound life is my artist's coaching business... So you can go to supremesound.life/newsletter and I have free trainings I have a free community you can also work with me one-on-one and also from there you'd find my artistry and the new music releases that I'm doing... yeah... so supremesound.life/newsletter...

SAMIA: Awesome...

ALARKE: I'm also on Instagram at Alarke... a-l-a-r-k-e underscore... so again that's a-l-a-r-k-e underscore

SAMIA: Nice... nice... we are going to add those links in the show notes. So for you our listeners please just go ahead click on those links in the show notes so that way you are sure to reach Alarke without any problems at all... So go ahead click on those show notes and connect with the Alarke... and yeah... I think that's it for us for now... Until we connect next time I just wish you lots and lots of peace and joy... :)