SAMIA: Hello, Salam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Hola, Ciao, Bonjour, Ciao and Buna!It's so awesome to be with you again today and I'm really happy I have a very special guest today with me Megan Marini who is a High Performance Coach and I am so excited about what we will be talking about Megan because it's one of my favorite favorite topics so and just so you know it's related to trauma healing and how we can you know really deal with our past reconcile the past and then move forward to live our very best lives because that's something that Megan is so awesome and brilliant at helping people with so welcome Megan…  

MEGAN: Yay thank you so much Samia this is such a pleasure…  

SAMIA: Yes so Megan I invite you to jump right in and tell us more from your perspective about who you are and what you do…  

MEGAN: Yeah for sure yeah so I consider myself a coach and a healer so sorry if I didn't have that in there... but yeah so I do yeah I just use a somatic framework to help people integrate and work through trauma from the body so we often talk about therapy as a top-down approach… so using reasoning and observation understanding to look at something that's happened… and the work I do is a is a bottom-up approach so it's more about how emotion is stored in the body and how a sort of memory gets stuck in the body so even though we might be able to talk about something it'll still have a charge in the body even after four or six years of therapy so this approach really allows the body to be in the language of the body so it allows the past experience to reenact itself in a sense so just like you're telling a story and someone someone new walks in the room and interrupts you'll… the stories of importance you'll go back to the story and finish that story you'll be like well let me finish my story and that desire that type of desire that's the same inherent thing that the system the nervous system which is a healthy trauma is a healthy response right well how the body processes trauma it's very much a healthy survival response it just looks like anxiety depression PSTD when it hasn't been processed and integrated… not that it's ever easy to go through this work… it's of paramount importance especially when we see the genetic cycle where you know everyone who is a recipient and a survivor of trauma from poor behavior from a parent or miseducation or pure ignorance whatever it is they're just repeating the cycle they were handed…  

SAMIA: Right… 

MEGAN: So it's time now you know it's no longer comfortable and with all of the changes with COVID it's really uncomfortable to be in a body that is sort of riveted with trauma…

SAMIA: Right yeah and my gosh you just brought up so many important important points that I want to dig into and one of the things that I was thinking about is you know when you mentioned about how trauma can look like anxiety depression stress etc. when it's not been properly processed as yet... it made me think also about how healing from trauma is like a journey and you go through these like different stages you know and I know there's like these different paradigms and different models that explain trauma healing and one of the most popular paradigms is actually the the five step or so process sometimes people put six steps into it but it talks about how for most people the very first response to trauma is to try to deny or suppress the trauma not wanting to deal with it and then from that you know because it doesn't really work as a effective long-term strategy… your mind and brain sort of moves into trying to bargain and you know try to deal with like it's sort of like part of you is seeing… okay but this happened but maybe there's a way that I can avoid dealing with it and you are trying to bargain your way out of your feelings and having to deal with the issue but that doesn't work quite very well especially as a long-term strategy and usually then people find themselves moving into sort of like anger phase and then from there into a depression phase and then you know you… you begin to be able to go to a place of acceptance and that's really the turning point… like once you get to a place of acceptance but before you can get to a place of acceptance in the vast majority of people's experience first you have to go through these other other stages where you're in denial you're in suppression mode you're trying to bargain your way out of things but none of that works and then you get angry then you get depressed and it just feels really messy but it's actually a part of the healing process and it's leading you to that place of where you can finally be in acceptance of what has happened and then once you're in acceptance then you know there's even more to the healing process and more to the healing journey and you can move forward even beyond that… how do you think about trauma healing when when you think about it like as a process or a journey…

MEGAN: And I really like the framework that you laid out it's quite nice is it what's been researched for like what kind of trauma or is it more of like a climate change kind of like tsunami and then that trauma of like a community experiencing something together or is it also on like an individual…

SAMIA: Yeah it's mostly a model describing the individual experience and interestingly it is fairly universal in the sense that regardless of the very specific kind of trauma that you experience most people will experience these stages of you know sort of processing through the trauma …and of course depending on the specific kind of trauma you have and the specific personality and the type of person you have you express each stage differently… like anger for example will express itself differently in different people depression or anxiety will express itself differently in different people you know similarly with the other stages… you know anger is a really easy example to highlight in this context because like for example some people when they are angry they'll be like really loud about it and they'll get aggressive in their behavior and other people will sort of internalize the anger more and they might not express outwardly so much the anger that they're feeling and so on the surface things look calm but inside they're seething and there's toil and trouble and you know going on inside of you so… so it can look different in different people and you know depending on on on the specific kind of trauma that you had like for example I imagine if it's a trauma like losing somebody that you loved because they passed away because of a long terminal illness and you feel angry about that well that kind of anger is going to express itself very differently than anger someone feels because of a trauma like sexual assault you know or some completely other kind of trauma you know like if you had an accident and you severely injured your body like that's a completely different kind of trauma and so depending on on the specific type of trauma the anger will seem to have different causes and will express itself differently…

MEGAN: Yeah I think the other thing too is the... if it's ongoing… yeah right…

SAMIA: it's repetitive it's ongoing if it's from a care provider it's in the home it's in early childhood you're sort of compounding all of these things and then if it... yeah I mean yeah... different traumas have different expressions too like you know I'm seeing a lot with clients who grew up under a type A parent… there's a certain like an overachiever parent… the trauma that we're seeing is it's very different than a child who experienced you know physical abuse or the witnessing of physical abuse or very different than an emotional you know emotional trauma is like it can be so subtle....

MEGAN: Yeah

SAMIA: ...so it's really there's so many layers to this and I like what you're saying about the sort of the processing but what I feel really about it is that getting to that fourth step of acceptance and just to say them out loud for our listeners it's like you know the first to deny and suppress and then the second was anger the third depression and the fourth likely path or you know typical path here is then acceptance and I see quite a long timeline till one can find acceptance not always right you have… I have some really young young adults that I work with that are aggressively seeking solutions in healing that is sort of outside of the norm in conjunction with… that's why I call my work integrative in conjunction with you know modern therapy you know psychotherapy things like this that help you understand but you really need to do something a little more on the somatic to really move it right and we we are now knowing this and we'll continue to see that research rise… right… but the thing about these stages like you know I can say from my own experience like I think I was in a pretty depressive bout for a good 10 years like not knowing what to do therapy not working for me buying all sorts of little doodads and not moving the needle much…So you know having... and then thinking about people that are much older than me that you know I work with people of all ages that come in and they really want to squeeze the best out of what's left in their life and they want to resolve the pain that's inside of them and they're you know a lot older so it can be something that's like get to acceptance as fast as you can but the first one like I think well two things one is that this progression is… it's a natural it's a very natural process to a traumatized brain is seeking homeostasis but it is abnormally functioning …like if you have a traumatized brain so your nervous system… I think of it as like the visual I got is like you know a wire that's been cut it's a live wire right the nervous system is sort of rattling inside of you looking to have that resolution to finish and complete the conversation right so it's rattling so it's causing these faulty behaviors because it must express itself and you know so its response in the brain is a natural healthy response even though it doesn't to our modern standards it's like well you're not functioning well you're not making it to work you can't hold down a job you can't hold down a relationship you know you're taking stuff out on your kids what have you that you know the smorgasbord of things that can happen… but knowing that that is all natural and even if you look at deny and suppress so it's part of our hard like I'm going to say hardwired it's probably really simplistic to say that but so as a child we're actually not... we're not resilient really it's like we actually need the provider to bring us food to bring us love to hold us right… these things are developmentally necessary and if we didn't have them we would die right So for a child to not receive what it needs from a caregiver for our survival as that child say a nine-month-old baby that's not being fed or held… they will in their mind create that denial…

MEGAN: Yeah…

SAMIA: The denial typically shows up and looks like it must be something I'm doing that I don't receive the love… it's the same with a rape victim it must be something I've done for my father to have raped me… I loved him too much… and that puts the onus on the victim because then it makes sense for them to continue because they need the parent or the caregiver to provide for them so they can't say well it must be you… they say well you're... I have to keep this relationship good and this is a mechanism so that the young child can survive… so it's like that denial suppression is really important to be it's in it is also disassociation if we break down that process even further it's like what actually happens to the brain and we work in the trauma work I do we work through that disassociation and it looks very different than the actual trauma event and we sort of move between these different states within the nervous system and the nervous system is actually guiding us and there's as much content as there is it's like different people right it's all dependent on how the information was stored what they're...

MEGAN: Yeah

SAMIA: …they almost think of it as like a disposition because you know you can have two children from the same home and one had a much more healthy response to a situation in others will have harder time so it's maybe their constitution... yeah it's interesting how even like an immune system happens different in the siblings in that and there is a genetic link but all of the clients I see with immune system issues I'll tell you have trauma and we know this too with the research that we see very similar immune system situations based on the trauma and what I'm seeing is the exact way that the child had to protect themselves whatever their mechanism of control was whether it's to shield themselves to hide to self critique to fight whatever it is that's how their nervous system is working against their body today…

MEGAN: Yeah yeah…

SAMIA: Sorry like what it's really like... because yeah the immune system is so fascinating because it's so mysterious but like is it you know…

MEGAN: Right…

SAMIA: It's like dramatic…

MEGAN: It's true and from a certain perspective it seems erratic and mysterious and so forth but like you're saying there is actually a certain wisdom to the body and the way that it functions and it really is just trying to do its best in the circumstances that it's placed to help us out in terms of making sure that we're able to continue to survive and we're able to continue to function in whatever… to whatever extent that we are able to you know… and even I have come to see for example the… like you gave a such a beautiful example of how the tendency for survivors to go into denial or suppression… how that is actually a way for the mind to protect itself or to protect you… you know I… we can give similar examples for how the same is true for... when you're shifting into anger mode and how that anger is actually trying to protect you and move you forward and keep you safe… when you're in depression mode actually your mind is also in a different way trying to help you and protect you and keep you safe… I know like for example with depression I'll give you an example a realization a learning that I had from my own experience my own healing journey… was I realized that... you know because one of the key aspects of depression is that you just lose motivation to do anything… you know you don't even want to get out of bed anymore it can get so bad with the depression and even worse… but really what the… I think what the brain and what our mind and heart are trying to do by throwing us into that depressive state is stop us from doing so much stuff that we've been doing that's not been helping us and it's you know we've been heading in a wrong direction and it's trying to stop us from doing all of this… these unhelpful things and things that might even have been hurting us in some ways and it's just trying to stop us from doing all of that and we weren't listening to the more gentle signals that it was giving us and so it's like okay now I just have to go into this crash mode and just force you to stop doing anything by making you lose motivation to do anything because there's no other way that you're stopping you know and so... and and so once you just stop then really that is what I know for me that is what ultimately allowed me to go into a place of acceptance where I was like I can't even do anything…I don't even want to do anything and then what is there to do …you're like there's nothing to do… it is what it is… and you just… it just… it was only through the depression that I was able to move into acceptance and I was like fine it is what it is… I've been through what I've been through… I'm going through what I'm going through… now there's nothing more I can do… or so it seems right now… so it is what it is you know… and in that seemingly strange way my depression helped me and I'm just so grateful now for that…Oh that’s so great…Yeah yeah…

SAMIA: Yeah it's lovely it's lovely and how do you help others reach that stage four of acceptance…

MEGAN: I think just realizing that you know if someone is going through this process of all these different emotions and this turmoil… to not see that as a bad thing and if there's anything that I can do to help them not see what they're experiencing when they're feeling as a bad thing you know and but maybe by sharing my story just like what you and I are doing now… sharing some of the science behind the trauma healing process… so once you can begin to see and understand we're actually already going through the healing process this is all part of the healing process… I think it can help people begin to shift into acceptance because then you can stop blaming and judging yourself and feeling bad about how you're feeling bad…

SAMIA: Right yeah... just hard to do I think for a lot of people…

MEGAN: Yeah…

SAMIA: Yeah yeah especially the youngsters I think you know I think once you've weathered some things and you're older you're like here we go you sort of know your stuff right you're like all right I usually I have some clients that like they get depressed every winter… it's like they know what to do there's a couple pillars or kind of things that they can use to prop themselves up and get through it… but when you're younger you don't know yet and you're expecting yourself to be a CEO by 22 and a half and you're like I gotta keep going and it's like well I mean I've literally I will confess I've told someone and I'll probably say it again that like you know if you're really struggling… drop out at school like I mean I... one of my clients looked at me like I was absolutely nuts but I'm like you know I think the the premise of it is like there's really nothing more important than your inner peace and if you're really struggling it's absolutely okay to pause and reset especially at that early age because the rise... like I'm not sure you know I'm not exactly sure on every child on every young adult because they're also different each one individual but you know someone who's just going to continue to run themselves over for some ideal that lives in other people's minds around them that's so... it's such a construct that they're so far away from themselves that I think that it's actually it would warrant just stopping everything and just just allowing yourself to feel all that yucky scared stuff and it is that feeling of like you know that depressive like what happens… I had one woman said to me the other day one of my clients she said well I just think I'll never get out of bed if I'm if I don't push myself and it's like well I would be actually probably really good for her entire system…

MEGAN: Yeah…

SAMIA: Because I do biochemistry work with people as well where I check what's going on with their metabolism anabolic... how they're absorbing the nutrients all these kinds of things… hormones… and it's interesting to see that how that works with the mental health landscape of each client because sometimes it's just good to stay in bed for three days and like let your body and just give up like you're saying because that give up sometimes it's like what the client needs…

MEGAN: Yes…

SAMIA: I don't know so I just think the medicine is like unique for the person and yeah it's really hard to like… life is hard as it is and then if we're hard on ourselves on top of this underlying process that we cannot fight… but I think they're what's interesting to me is I think there are ways to speed up the healing process…

MEGAN: For sure…

SAMIA: Rather than like decades of getting stuck or you know some of my older clients where it's been 30 years they're struggling with the same issue…

MEGAN: Yes…

SAMIA: I mean other getting boring I think for me like in my history of like my inner work and my growth when I really would transform would be when I got bored of the problem…

MEGAN: Yeah…

SAMIA: When I literally stopped wrestling with it like I mean the amount of energy that I have it's kind of like a lot and I'd be like I was I used to weigh a lot more you know I carried around a lot more weight and I was having pretty severe issues… and I mean it was like I obsessed I was like I was helping people with nutrition because I knew so... I was like doing so much with food diet exercise everything but I was so wound up about it… and it was years and years of not loving myself because I was too big to be loved which was a story given to me by my beloved father god rest his soul… and yeah I remember just one day I finally said you know this is just I'm like so bored of this problem like I don't want to worry about what I'm going to eat tomorrow night for dinner all night tonight …you know I was like what am I doing with my energy and I just kind of like put it down… I just was like... you know I just don't care anymore and the weight left…It was a great is like oh my goodness and this is Einsteinian thinking so how I work with my clients is I I'm like when you're actually wrestling and fighting something you don't win like you're literally in it has you energetically so…

MEGAN: Right…

SAMIA: You know yeah so we do all this other I do shamanic work and we go in and clear the energy I do some quantum based work so that we're actually clearing things on the spirit realm and the energy body the bioenergetic field… so I like to just let's pull way up like let's go up and above the problem raise your vibration this is very different than the trauma work I do the trauma work is very like we're going into the trauma like literally we're gonna go into it's dark it's ugly it's there... but then this light work is a really wonderful way to raise yourself up above and be like but I think we I think we need both we are… we are based on polarity right we have like all of these things and we want to be aligned and we want to be sort of that integration is really about all of the pieces being welcome… yes… and being home like being like yeah that's my past yes I had to deal with that you know I spoke with someone this morning like you know her father raped her... I mean and it's like you can't pretend it didn't happen you can't ever completely forget about it but you can't lessen the charge it has over you when a man walks into the room…

MEGAN: Right…

SAMIA: Right or when you're going to develop an intimate relationship you... there is work that you can do… and I think that's to me a very exciting space of like let's give people the tools because those 10 years of me being depressed sucks... like just on the timeline of my short life I cherish every moment and I look back and I'm just like damn like I could have… I mean you know what I mean… like I could have got my doctorate like during that time like I could have moved something ahead versus statically hovering and that's what most Americans I feel like sadly are doing… coming home opening a beer or soda and you know trying to numb themselves as much as they can versus trying to live as fully as they can which is this whole other thing you know like turn the tv off you know...No insult... because I do have a tv...

MEGAN: No no no because I have my tv on too... you know you just raised so many so many excellent points oh my gosh okay first I think I just want to highlight that you know what you were saying about getting to a point where you were just bored with the problem and then you know you were like okay I'm going to give up on this I'm going to stop fighting it you were really coming to a place of acceptance right once came to a place of acceptance then you were able to move forward like beyond that problem and you mentioned the word integration because I at the very beginning I said oh this model identifies five steps but I never mentioned the fifth step the fifth step is actually integration... oh my gosh and but then you know within integration I think that is where really... it's like everything up to acceptance it's like we're fighting the battle you know and we're struggling with the problem but once we get a place of acceptance then you know when you say okay next step’s integration I think that's where really the heavy duty healing happens that's when we're really able to make begin to make leaps and bounds forward in terms of our healing journey and our healing process and integration it's like one word but there's so much into it like so much that goes into it and I'm wondering if you have you know something… you know... and I think that's oftentimes also where so much of the light work is able to come in because oftentimes until you get to that point of acceptance you're not even able to accept the light work… you're not if you're not ready for the light work because the light work I mean one of the hugest lessons I've learned about light work and healing in that context is that the healing that happens in the context of light work... it's healing through love and the love will never force anything upon you… it'll not even force you to heal something that you're not ready to heal you know and so it's like for people who have not yet reached the point of acceptance you know you can be sending all this love healing light energy to them and they're not able to accept it they're not able to receive it and therefore not able to benefit from it… so I'm also seeing it sort of like a… like what tools you use are sort of depending on where you are in your journey…

SAMIA: Yeah certainly yeah... no definitely I love that… it's interesting too because I think there's something about acceptance that is... I I'd love to hear your thoughts on it my feeling about it is that it's more to do with accepting yourself than it is with accepting what's happened although I know that there that's sort of the thing it's like we're almost saying it's that thing it's that thing that happened to me why did that happen to me blaming it or whatever it is or you know God forbid like I mean there's just so many crazy stories that walk into my office I'm like oh my gosh like you know or yeah like people that their whole family's gone and you… it's just like how do you accept that right how can you accept that… it's… and I've had these conversations and I'm like it's blasphemous to even ask someone to accept atrocities… it's... I actually don't think it's the acceptance of what's happened I think it's accepting oneself…

MEGAN: Yeah…

SAMIA: That like this is part of my story however gnarly and and horrific it was like to just be like you know... I'm okay with it rather than constantly being like trying to change it almost that it's how I don't know if that's even the word but that to me is what I'm sensing right now on that big acceptance piece…

MEGAN: Yeah…

SAMIA: Interesting what you say about like you know not receiving it and stuff… I'm not sure I'm not sure because I do have some clients that were in a fight with all of life upon arrival and their bodies as well like multiplicity of issues and through the energy work through the quantum work that I do and then just a teeny some of them just a teeny bit of trauma work... they're accepting it's like it happened and it I also have a theory that I used to apply often and I would commit... I consider us at one with the universe right we know that quantum mechanics we are most certainly part of yeah that sort of quan... quanta... possibility in probability is what we what we actually are much more than the 0.001 of matter which we pretend is all there is we know that's not true... okay great... so then if that's the case then we can most certainly command the universe and we're one with the universe so we can work we're working with the universe so that's we can say I want this so I think you know like that we can heal through love at any point…

MEGAN: Yes...

SAMIA: Even though I'm not ready…

MEGAN: Yeah you know it's like the beautiful thing about the healing through love idea is that it will go as far as you allow it to go… so the fact that someone's coming to you that they've reached out for help there is a part of them that wants help that is ready to receive and accept a certain a level of healing and a certain level of love right and so that is when you do the healing work with them that is what they receive that's the level to which they're able to experience healing in the moment and it's like that for all of us you know honestly like even right now as amazing as I feel as…as happy and as peaceful as I feel I know that there's stuff I'm still holding on to that needs to be healed… and I do healing meditations and I have other people send me healing and like do healings on me and for me literally every day and every day there's more stuff I need to release and surrender and you know so it's just that… like one of the most recent realizations that I had of something that I was holding on to that I have not let go of or I will say I had not let go of in all of my 39 years of life was the need to protect myself like I took on this responsibility... that I am responsible to keep myself safe… and just think about how impossible a task that is… you know I mean obviously I can do certain things to keep myself safe to a certain level in a certain context but when you look at the bigger picture of what the realities of our life are there is no way I can always keep myself safe from everything in every situation there's just no way and so that when I took on that responsibility and I didn't consciously take it on but… or maybe didn't consciously take it on… but I was I didn't realize how much I was like holding on to it like with a certain level of even desperation and I wasn't willing to let go off that sense of responsibility and that has been… like that has been a block that's been... you know there's things that I need to heal like my relationship with some people in my life that I love the most but I couldn't be as open and as loving and as compassionate with them as I wanted to be because of this need to protect myself and my perception of their doing things that I was like oh what they're doing is hurting me… and I need to protect myself and therefore I was like distancing myself from them and from the relationship and holding back right… but the only way to heal the relationship and to heal myself is to sort of you know... it is to surrender that need and sort of step into more of a perspective of faith and trust that I am safe I am being taken care of by the Divine by the universe by God and so I can give that responsibility over to God… God can take care of me god can protect me it's not too hard for God …and now that I have been you know for the last I would say a few weeks I've been working on releasing this need… whoa… you know it's like it just shifted like something huge within me and I'm seeing the impact of that you know in the way that my relationship with these people in my life is improving and how I'm feeling even better even more amazing and… but I for 39 years I wasn't ready to let this go you know so for 39 years even though for years now I've been doing this healing work and having other people help me through the process I wasn't ready to let it go and so that was not something that could heal until now when I am ready to let it go and so now it is healing…

SAMIA: I love it…yeah good for you this is so lovely to hear and to witness…

MEGAN: Thank you…

SAMIA: Yeah... yeah and it's like an onion yeah talk that keeps coming around I'm so happy it's around yeah so yeah it's like an onion one of my healers said you know it's like you're never done... and sometimes the things that you think you've worked through for decades come back and you're like really this is bothering me again but yeah we are human and that like that's the name of my company I'm a human like just you're human like let us be that and be imperfectly so and keep finding… you had asked like then you know what are the tools to use for integration and just like that process that's really unique to you where you're like I've done all this but now for whatever ready… whatever reason you're at acceptance and you know I think that we all sort of know what the next medicine is… like you sort of have hints and I think we need to listen and get the help that arises when it arises… I think that's a huge piece I try to teach people... and the other is that it won't move till it's ready like we're your coping mechanism there with that you needed it till you need it didn't anymore…

MEGAN: That's right... that's right... I needed to take on the responsibility to protect myself for 39 years I did…

SAMIA: And in one instance it's medicine in its own way it's own medicine so like yeah so I don't know I think that that's the way really to look at it… it's like well until you don't want that medicine anymore you're like all right well I've had enough cough syrup like you know like other people are with coffee that they want to transcend to support their adrenals okay well then that medicine probably worked for you for a while and it no longer does…

MEGAN: Yeah yeah I think that's the thing and I also really really loved what you said about acceptance being more about acceptance of yourself because I never want to accept something like the fact that children are being abused in our world and in our lives… if there is something that I can do there's anything that I can do to prevent another child from being hurt I'm absolutely going to do that I am doing everything that I can to do that… and at the same time you know in so far as my efforts fall short because even in this moment there's I don't know how many millions of children who are being hurt and I'm not able to stop that I'm not able to prevent that …I still have to be able to love myself like like you know I can't fall into oh my god like blaming judging hating shaming whatever myself because I'm not able to save every child right now you know so I have to be like okay it is what it is and I'm doing the best I can and I will continue to do the best I can and you know I'm accepting my reality and I'm accepting my limitations and that yeah... I agree with you I think that is what really the acceptance is about…

SAMIA: Yeah so nice…

MEGAN: You know there's so much more we can talk about I think you'll just have to come back so we can keep talking…

SAMIA: Yes…

MEGAN: I think there's definitely more because we could go a lot with tools and things too but I think it is like just really looking and listening and knowing that you have what it takes to heal…

SAMIA: Yeah…

MEGAN: You know I think that's really my mission is really to help… to help people access the infinite within the ability to heal oneself like this is our this is our right this is our birthright to be able to understand the resources within access them use them you know and to be able to heal… to be able to transform through things where I see a lot of people just not knowing how to get through things and then they just compound and it gets worse it doesn't get better unless you're really working to you know sort of move through things let things move through you you know... yeah…

SAMIA: Yeah so you know I think for today on that wonderful empowering message let's wrap up... I… just for our listeners for everyone who is listening know that we will be adding Megan's links in our show notes so you can connect with her… I'll add my links in the show notes you can connect with me and we like I know I'm saying we right now because I know Megan's with me on this… we encourage you to please seek out help and support because that is such an important aspect of how you can as Megan was saying… there are ways we can speed up the healing process and then our healing journey and seeking help and receiving help is a huge aspect of how you can speed that process up and make it more fun and make it more easy... so until next time I just wish you lots and lots of peace and joy…