SAMIA: Hello, Salam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Hola, Ciao, Bonjour and Buna!It's really really amazing to be with you again today and I'm so excited about the guest I have with me today I'm sure we are going to have such a fabulous fabulous conversation because it's Polina Groman and she's a Business Strategist and she's on a mission to lead a Million Women to become their own Happiness Gurus... how amazing is that welcome Polina…

POLINA: Thank you thank you so much.... you know when you were doing your greeting you forgot the Russian I don't think when we spoke I told you that I was born in Russia you forgot to say Privet you could add that to your greeting of the world right…

SAMIA: Awesome I will I'll have to practice that one a little bit but I will do it yay thank you so much for sharing that with me And yeah let's just jump in and I'll ask you to start by just telling us more about what you do and who you are...

POLINA: Sure absolutely I've been a Serial Entrepreneur for the past 20-plus years now two decades getting older as my son says… I have been in five different industries successful seven figures plus in two and it's always been on my heart to help women step into their power because when I started out my journey I was working on wall street there was no women that were sitting next to me except for executive assistants and I learned very early on that you have to become tough and you cannot really be yourself that was the message that was driven into me by male dominated industry of wall street and as I progressed in my career and became an entrepreneur I just saw that continue over and over again and women you know would always reach out to me and ask me how do you do it it's so difficult as it is how do you do it as a woman how do you do it not being angry how do you do what not gaining weight how do you do it being married and having kids how does all that work right …And what I noticed that coaching and mentoring these women that would reach out to me was my most passionate exciting work alongside with whatever I will be doing at the moment right I found myself about seven years ago no more like nine years ago diagnosed with a rare disease every doctor in the country told me that I'm gonna get progressively worse that it's really serious that there's no cure for this and I knew that was my wake-up call... I knew that that was something inside of me was calling me to slow down because I haven't taken a break in 15 years and I decided to really get to know myself and understand what is my body trying to tell me right and the more I got to know myself the more I noticed that I was a people pleaser that I was a pushover that I was taking care of absolutely everyone but just not myself and in those times I promise myself and God and the universe and whatever else anybody listening may believe a higher power that not if but when I get better I'm going to focus on one thing in my life and that thing is going to be happiness and in my opinion happiness comes from having true freedom and that means very different things to people right... to one person freedom is making an extra thousand dollars a month so they can take that vacation that they want you know once every six months... for another person freedom is making ten thousand dollars a month so they could quit a job that they really really hate... for another person it's freedom to travel and not being location dependent for another person and for a lot of women that I meet is leaving toxic relationships because they are in those relationships because they're financially dependent and I think that as I got older I realized that it's the happiness factor that's more important than anything else because the chase of making money the chase of making a lot of money I get it I've lived it I've been there I breadth that life literally for 15 years and I could tell you that no matter how much money you make and I'm talking about 10 20 30 50 100k a month I've hit all those goals 120k a month... still not gonna reach the goal of being happiness because what you really want if somebody says to you know I really want the money right that's not what you really want because if you really focus on what it why do you want it and why is it important to you it all boils down to one simple word… being me that's why we chase anything… we want to feel safe being ourselves we want to feel safe being in our bodies we want to feel safe wherever we are we don't want to feel neglected or dependent or co-dependent on a job on a relationship on a business relationship but most of us find ourselves in those situations in pursuit of the number of the revenue of the goal right... but the truth is if the goal is I want to make as much money as possible because I want to be as happy as possible and then make other people as happy as possible the goal becomes much more attainable believe it or not it's easier to make more than it is to make less and a lot of people are like what do you mean I have a hard time with this what do you mean… So I'm going to tell you a secret... if you were raising a thousand dollars if right now you needed to raise a thousand dollars versus you needed to raise a hundred thousand dollars it would be easier to raise a hundred because if you had a mission behind what you're doing there are more people that would get behind giving you know 10 12,000 each right then one person coming up with that thousand right… So well one of the most important things that I want to share with you as part of my story is the fact that it took me a disease it took me major financial losses it took me ending 20-year friendships to make the statement that I'm going to make right now… if your happiness doesn't come above everything else everything else fails and you will never ever feel satisfied right...So my mission is to help millions of women stand in their power whatever that means to them what it means to me is having freedom… 

SAMIA: Yes yes… and I absolutely agree with you and I you know… sometimes I have talked with people about prioritizing our happiness above everything else and people have a really negative reaction to that idea like they have all kinds of objections that come up in their minds when you share this idea with them I know for a lot of women one of the big objections that comes up is that they think it's being selfish... to think about your own happiness above everything else… and it's just not true that is not true... 

POLINA: The reason why they think that is because it's generational trauma actually that runs across many religions and cultures… for many many generations women were taught to be nurturers they weren't providers and part of being a nurturer is nurturing babies… 

SAMIA: Yes …

POLINA: And bringing you know being the village that raised the babies right... so because we have this encoded in our DNA encoded in our blood… us today wanting to find a balance between feminine masculine structures and make the money but still be feminine right causes a really great disconnect literally in women's bodies when they say but it's selfish… the truth is it's the most kindest giving thing that you could do because when you have boundaries and when you honor yourself you're more giving you're more loving you're not resentful you're not doing things because you have to and being angry about it right you are not passive aggressive right there's a lot of traits that come as a result of not putting yourself first and by putting yourself first I mean really putting yourself first… I mean above your children I mean above above any financial opportunity and the reason why it scares so many women because I guess safety if I don't put my children first what kind of mom am I that I won't be looked at as the mom right that's not what a mom should do but who says that's not what a mom should do right or I won't be looked at I won't be respected by my community...In my family my mom and my grandparents used to tell me you're a really bad mom you're always working your kids are being raised by the babysitter and I used to you know stay up nights thinking about it because there was just no way that I was doing too many things and there was no way that I could have not had the help right… but you know in a lot of cultures it's noble for a woman to fall apart while taking care of babies and and then just to fight through it and to get sick and pretend like she's okay because that's what that's what our grandmothers did that's what our great-grandmothers did and you know I came to a point in my life where I told my family that they don't have the right to advise me on the type of mom that I am because they have never experienced making this much money and making this much money comes with a lot of responsibility and it comes with a lot of energy that you need to hold not just for your children right…So being a leader is leading yourself first right and the reason why we feel so guilty is because it's conditioned into us that it's wrong it bad that you know you're a horrible person you're a horrible woman and you know I fought with this for a long long time and the truth is that you're either a leader and you're not… there's no right or wrong way of doing anything it has to make sense to you it has to feel good to you it's like a dress you one person can look phenomenal on a dress they could have the same body type of someone else but for another person just doesn't feel comfortable right... so for a lot of women it just doesn't feel comfortable speaking up it just doesn't feel comfortable having a voice because they were told to through too many generations that it's wrong so to break that pattern is uncomfortable it's scary right and that's why I think it's so important for those of us that are aware for those of us that are doing it to do it louder so another woman can get the courage so another woman can feel that maybe she's not ready but she already sees herself and you… 

SAMIA: Yes and you know just talking about the women those of us who are able to do it doing it louder and being a model for the other women that they can begin to see themselves in… one of the things that I love that you talk about a lot is you know drawing these distinctions between the masculine energy and the feminine energy and can you tell us more about that like what the some of those distinctions are and what aspects of the feminine energy are awesome and amazing and can really help us as women to live our best lives and to live more out loud without giving up our femininity…

POLINA: So first of all women possess one thing in business that men don't possess that men work really hard at and that's intuition... women have a natural intuitive hunch if they trust it that's a phenomenal tool if you want to invest into anything right so if you were playing the stock market and you were intuitive and you allowed yourself to study you know the charts and whatever it is but then make a decision really intuitively I've made so much money doing that when I realized that I have that power and we have a lot of different powers… feminine essence is beauty women beautify the world a woman can walk in into an empty Airbnb and hang up couple of picture frames and put on pretty curtains so now that feels like home that's what women do they make things feel like home right not to say that some men can't do that but that's just a natural gift of a woman to make something beautiful... she's intuitive she just knows things just because she knows because she feels them right… what's really interesting is that we shut that down because we're taught by society that if you want to be successful you have to have structures and you have to have systems and nobody cares about these things… structures are important yes but they're not more important than the feminine assets because if a woman walks into a room it's irrelevant that she's fat if she's tall if she's short a woman walks into a room and there are a bunch of men discussing a topic any topic they'll pay attention just because a woman walked into a room right just for no reason other than that and if she gets into the conversation she will infuse a completely different flavor into the conversation because her energy is different right and we're afraid to do that because we're taught to be quiet as little girls we're taught to be quiet that's what makes us good we have to behave we have to be quiet we have to be modest and again across all different religions and cultures it's pretty similar... in my culture I was just taught that if you want to be loved you have to be really really good don't cause problems for your parents you don't talk back so I literally was the most polite quietest child that never ever asked for anything caused anything …and you know as I got older I realized that a lot of issues in business came from that I didn't know how to speak for myself I didn't have a voice… so I had to train myself about having a voice of learning how to communicate effectively because that's what you need to do as a leader… But a feminine leader unites people… women unite people right... if you look at countries that are run by women they don't go to war they have many different strategies but don't go to war right...So the masculine structures are really important… you need systems you need automations you need technology 150%... no one is saying don't do anything and just you know hang a picture if you want to build a seven-figure business right however you don't need to push a circle into a square so what I mean by that is this a lot of people when we think about the law of attraction and topic of manifesting a lot of people are like oh that's like feminine that's like flowy that's like… no it's actually not... manifestation is actually masculine energy and after studying this for the past 12 years I realized not true it is why is it masculine energy because when we manifest we use the power of our mind with aligned action to co-create something and bring something into physical tangible form right… so if I wanted to get a Lamborghini right and I have no idea how I'm going to do it… I'm going to set up strategies I'm going to put myself in a room with people that are doing it I'm going to take alined action I'm going to fail I'm not going to give up on myself and eventually I'm going to get myself that car right... so I put myself in the right room with the right coach a mentor I took the right action but I also let go a little bit because I don't know anything about having this kind of car before so I can't force it right so I had to like attract it and work for it right but it's very masculine energy right people don't realize that… The feminine energy is actually a whole different level so the feminine energy the next level of all this law of attraction polarity of masculine feminine is having something work through you so what do I mean right… if we wanted to grow a flower we need a seed right this seed doesn't force the rose to bloom the seed doesn't push it… there's a natural rhythm in nature that if there's a seed and there's a right environment the roses blooms the seed doesn't need to do anything else but just be the seed right so that's very feminine energy of understanding that you need to be in the right environment you need to be able to have experiences come through you and it's very very difficult for any person to do because society doesn't teach us that society teaches us to be workers right so we want to break out of the workforce and say I don't want to make a hundred thousand dollars a year which is a lot of money for most people I want to make a hundred thousand dollars a month… most people look at that type of ambition and they're like that's crazy that's never gonna happen right… but speaking from someone that did that they could tell you that yes it will happen you need the right environment you need the right person to guide you can you do it without a mentor yes I've done it without a mentor but it's difficult there's too many shark infested waters that you're gonna swim through get bitten bleed cry and you're gonna have to get up and do it over and over again right... where doing it with someone that's done it before it's still hard your mind's still gonna tell you to quit…but it's easier when someone's pushing you that understands what it's like on the other side right but the polarity of the of the structure is important for women to understand that men are not intuitive so you could use that to your advantage not women against men but understanding if you understand a structure and then you can make it more beautiful and create an experience for your customer no matter what business you're in you can make it yours and and make your customers experience a piece of you you're not never competing with anybody else and that's very very feminine right if you can have the vision and hold that vision for your team before you start generating revenue and nurture them just like women used to nurture other people's babies right if you come and nurture your team and work with them and have faith in them and grow together that's very feminine and those are the structures that make women extremely powerful and different and unique as opposed to having a totally male-dominated vision of revenue numbers or nothing else matter…

SAMIA: Yes that is really really cool and you know I really really love the distinction that you made about how manifesting… the way people think about it is a very masculine energy and why that is and the feminine version of that or the other way that we can create that life that we want and attract what we want into our life is just by allowing things to happen through us and and just being that seed all you have to do is just be that seed… there's nothing else that you need to do... I absolutely love that and that is actually what I have been learning… because I got into this whole idea of manifesting I started learning about it a few years ago and you're so right that all the teachers that I had initially were men and that's the approach that they would teach that you know you have to be this doer you have to do this and you have to do that… and only I would say in the last couple of years have I started working with teachers and mentors who have introduced me to this other way of you just be the seed and it's it's so much more fun and easy for me to create my life as I want it by just being rather than the doing a way of it… 

POLINA: Now there's going to be a lot of people that are going to listen to us and say well yeah right... like how are you just going to be if you want to have whatever that you don't have and you're working so hard and just not working right so like how do you just be because people ask me this all the time… So if you're a business owner there's three things that most people never teach you because they really don't understand what it's like to build a scalable business right… so and this will really open up a lot of people's minds why being versus doing right… So let's say you're a business owner and you've hit that eight to ten thousand dollar a month mark right and you're like oh my god like I freaking made it like I worked so hard I did all of this I sacrificed I borrowed money that I didn't have… this is not just an idea it's a business but now I'm dying like because I'm so exhausted right... those are typically my clients they come to me and they're like I don't know what else I can do I'm being this flowy person but I'm really not because I'm really stressed out and I'm hiring people and it's just not working out and like I don't know what else I could do I'm working so hard so what do I do I not just not work anymore… So here are things that are really important… number one-- for a business to grow two things need to happen you either bring in more clients or you capitalize on the clients that you already have right... so instead of going out and looking for more clients and stressing yourself out what I teach my clients to do is to raise their prices… and immediately I get what no one's going to pay me no it was hard enough already to get whatever I'm charging so no one is gonna pay that there's no way it's not gonna work okay… but if they pay me why wouldn't they pay you… well it's different because you did this and you did that I'm like okay but I did that when I didn't do this and I didn't do that... so just being is understanding you have to really really care about what you do that's number one… a lot of times we do things just to make money and because we do things just to make money and we really don't care that's why it's so hard because you're especially for women your feminine essence is love that's your natural state of being so if you don't love if you don't enjoy if you're not in flow you are not being… you're actually doing things and stopping the flow right and on a practical level it's very simple if I told you hey you need to be on three different platforms LinkedIn Facebook and Instagram every single day if you go live and and you create strategic partnerships there's no way you're not gonna make money it's just it's impossible right… now you're already doing that most people are already doing that so why isn't it working… because you don't need another strategy what you really need and this is what no one is teaching what you really need because you can't really charge for this because we all know this… what we need is ourselves we need to sit down with ourselves and ask ourselves am I excited about this… if you woke me up one o'clock in the morning in the middle of the night and you said here's a room full of people go talk to them from your heart about what you do would I want to do that do I feel that I'm really helping people if there was no money aspect involved am I really helping people here and if I took myself out of the business even though it sounds like the scariest thing on the planet and I did more of the things that I love doing like networking like going on podcasts like doing you know live events or maybe speaking at virtual events if I did the things that I really loved doing would I then be more excited and if the answer is I love what I do I love people I genuinely want to help them but yes I would love to do those things if somebody would just do the lead generation for me your problem is solved because you're 90% there now all you need to do now is really start having the faith that you're under charging for your work because when you start looking at yourself as not a commodity… because as an example I am not a business coach… I said right before this podcast… you said how should I introduce you… and I said a business strategies because you would need to meet me and understand my story to understand what I am… because if I will tell you my spiritual business that most people will be very confused so for the purpose of simplifying things right… simplicity scales complicated fails… for the simplicity of things if somebody's a mindset coach right there's a million mindsets why would someone pay you 20,000 versus charging 200 an hour which is what a lot of people do right which is they feel it's wonderful …you know why… because your uniqueness your experience your failures your success but that only you experience is that one you're the only one in this universe that had that experience and there's someone right now that's searching for that they're searching to see themselves in you and they want to raise their hand and say she gets me she knows exactly how I feel even though she's never spoken to me she's where I want to be I have no idea what she teaches like no idea have no idea how I'm gonna get there but I want her to help me because I could see that that she cares when you start operating from that space game over it doesn't matter what your price is people will come up with the money right and if you are a smart business woman you will help them you will have finance plans and you will have systems in place to support that… but your job is not to focus on those systems your job is to focus on why you… what makes you so amazing that people just want to come to you… 

SAMIA: Yeah… 

POLINA: That's how you grow your business without bringing in more customers that's how you get into the feminine flow of joy and ease and doing the things that you naturally enjoy doing… 

SAMIA: That is awesome I love that I love that... oh my gosh I'm having so much fun talking to you and we are running out of time so yeah no you know what let's bring you back another time and keep talking but just for right now is there any last bits of wisdom that you would like to share with us… 

POLINA: Stop comparing yourself to other people because it's not about you… when you see somebody else doing much better than you instead of being jealous what I want you to say to yourself this is evidence that this is available to me… 

SAMIA: Yeah… 

POLINA: The reason god or universe is showing me this is not to get me jealous but to show me that this is what I'm capable of doing and it's on the way that's the first thing that I wanna plant in everybody's head… And the second thing is I'm doing a completely free workshop on this business model that I just described if it's on your heart and you want to learn how to be in the feminine flow and you want to understand the feminine way of doing business and you want to know how to make 10k a day instead of 10k a month… yes there is a way yes there's a very simple way that most women are not doing because nobody taught them… reach out to me on Facebook or on Instagram I will share a private link with you I would love to support you any way that I can because if you wake me up at one o'clock in the morning and you would ask me is there anything else that I would rather be doing my answer would be no… if there's one woman right now that's listening and I could help you in any capacity please reach out to me I promise you I will give you everything that I've got… 

SAMIA: Awesome and you know we will add your links in the show notes… so if you're listening you're watching check the show notes click on those links connect with Polina and I'm so happy I'm just so happy that you are you and you're out there doing what you do and helping so many women and people you know become their own happiness gurus… I think that's the most amazing wonderful mission to be on and I'm so with you on it... so thank you again so much for joining us… 

POLINA: Thank you thank you this was amazing thank you…