SAMIA: Hello, Salam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao and  Bonjour!It's really really good to be with you today and I'm sure you'll be very very happy that you're joining us today as well because I have a very special guest my friend Raeka and she is a Life Transformation Coach and just... if you are watching this on video you will see that she has a beautiful beautiful like background and that's actually real it's not a fake background... Oh love where you are right now and oh thank you thank you so much for joining us today…

RAEKA: Thank you Samia nice to be here…

SAMIA: All right so I'm actually going to have you just jump right in and tell us more about who you are and what you do…

RAEKA: Well like you said my name is Raeka I am a Transformational Life Coach I've been an RN for almost 30 years I'm a nature enthusiast I take people out in nature and help them connect to their inner being and to nature itself so they can slow down and reduce stress… I also have a rich background in alternative health modalities for the last 18 years I've practiced somatic emotional release craniosacral therapy and reiki… I'm a retired United States army veteran I grew up on a very small farm in a very remote area as the oldest of five… today for this session I'll be focusing more on my role as a transformer…transformational coach…

SAMIA: Very cool very cool so do you have any like particular focus in terms of who you work with…

RAEKA: I do ever since I was very very young I knew that it was my mission to connect to people animals and nature and I love helping people heal and you know take better care of themselves my legacy or my... I should say my intentional legacy has always been about planting inspirational seeds of wellness in others in the hearts in their hearts and their minds and I found through my registered nurse job a great love and affection for women that were feeling very burnt out and I really enjoy coaching women between the ages of 35 and 65 that feel very burnt out from overdoing it in their lives… they often feel unlovable not enough and they struggle and they seem to be stuck where they are and when I work with them I help them increase… their improve their self-esteem and help them overcome their self-doubts help them find their authentic self and to become their own authority in life…

SAMIA: Very cool…

RAEKA: And the reason why I coach women is because I've been there I've been that woman that has just done too much… didn't have the balance and I struggled quite a bit I've always had coaches in my life and mentors as far back as you know age of 16 or 17 and I found a great value in having a coach because they offer insight and support they give you unbiased feedback they hold you accountable and they can help guide you towards a healthier life because I knew the value of what that was and I saw other women who were where I used to be I just decided that this would be the perfect match because nothing brings me more joy than to help somebody get unstuck from a problem that I know a lot about…

SAMIA: Yes I love that and I'm so glad that you're doing this work because there are so many of us who struggle with this problem and the fact that you are now coaching around a problem that you have dealt with yourself I really really appreciate that because I know… not necessarily so many coaches but a lot of other professionals for example therapists and doctors and etc and they're you know treating patients and working with clients on issues and problems that they don't actually have personal experience with and it makes a difference I think… and when it comes to something like coaching I think it makes a huge difference there are a few coaches that I've known who have you know... I just had a not so good experience with them because I found that they weren't able to quite empathize with what I was going through because they had not really had a similar kind of challenge and struggle… and you know that doesn't always have to be a hurdle in in our ability to coach but there are sometimes like things that you can understand much better when you experience something similar for sure so... you know yeah I really appreciate that about you… yay…

RAEKA: Thank you…

SAMIA: Yeah so tell me more about when you were getting coached and when you were getting mentored what was that experience like for you… did you learn any big lessons from going through that you can share with us now…

RAEKA: Yes what I discovered was I was stuck in a cycle I was over-focusing on my weaknesses or my problem I was always thinking about what was going wrong and I completely understand now from having all of that insight and coaching that it was very backwards thinking and it was very disempowering and I didn't realize it until I had help… but once I did I realized that you know we spent so much time and effort and energy cycling through… it's like driving up against a big brick wall you know you're not getting anywhere you keep repeating the mistakes and then you increase the feelings of self-doubt not feeling enough and then what you do is you almost... well you reinforce it so you just keep going… so and most people do that you know they are discontented and so then they find other ways to get that relief… so I challenge people to really look at their process you know… in my coaching I want them to think about well if it's not working what you're doing then let's look at it from a different way and try something else so I think about looking at the things that you do really well and then using those as your super power to really overcome every area that you have a problem in your life so I'll give you an example… let's say you're really good at work… being the boss you delegate workload you know that’s a no-brainer you can be organized you're efficient… but then you go home you take your work hat off and then you've got all these things going on in the house but you're not delegating like you do at work and you're not you know giving some direction that you need some things done so it's complete opposites but you're struggling at home to get things done for yourself or get some rest and it's only because you haven't taken the successful work process and applied it at home…

SAMIA: Yeah that's a very good example thank you for sharing that… actually when you started talking about focusing on our superpowers I was thinking about it in a somewhat different context because actually I... in my coaching work very much grounded in a positive psychology approach you know and this is very much the positive psychology philosophy that you focus on your strengths… and so a lot of times when I'm thinking about strengths I'm thinking about like character strengths for example one of my character's strengths is my ability to be really compassionate and actually even more than compassion I'm really excellent at having empathy for other people… and so anytime I'm struggling with a problem especially if that problem is with another person I'm like huh how can I use my super strength of empathy to figure this out and figure out a solution and that you know will be really good in this situation… and usually once I start to tap into my empathy super strength it becomes so much easier to deal with the other person and to even... just sort of recenter myself and ground myself in a more positive place so I really appreciate that you have this approach…

RAEKA: Thank you… yeah cool…

SAMIA: I like your superpower…

RAEKA: Oh thank you yeah hey... by the way just a curious question… how do you think about empathy and compassion do you draw a distinction between those two superpowers...

SAMIA: Empathy and compassion I think they work well together…

RAEKA: For sure…

SAMIA: You know especially if you can bring some of that to yourself so that you can experience balance in all of your relationships because if you don't give your... you know fill your own cup you're really no good to anybody else…

RAEKA: Yes that is so true... that is so true… yeah… it actually what you just shared just reminds me of... oh man now I'm blanking on the name... but this is part of the teachings in non-violent communication and they say sometimes if you're really struggling to show empathy and compassion towards someone else oftentimes one of the causes for that is that you are hurting yourself and so first you need to take care of yourself give yourself empathy and compassion and then you know you can go back to that other person and give them empathy and compassion…

SAMIA: Yeah… yeah… that's wonderful…

Cool... cool okay so tell me do you have like any specific programs that you use to help your clients with the problems that you help people with help the women that you work with…

RAEKA: I do thank you for asking. I have a life coaching program it's a life transformation program I call Level Up Your Life and it's a three-part process… the first level is all about investigating your current life and your past life you know thus far up to this point with one-on-one coaching and some journaling and it's focusing on your feelings your thoughts and your behaviors and really identifying patterns… the second level you reflect on all of those things that you discovered about yourself in the first level but now you're going to upgrade your life through some advanced coaching and some really fun creative writing where you get to be the hero in your story and you... will also get a chance to experience some alternative health modalities because some of the modalities I work with help on... help with releasing emotional pains physical spiritual pains from the body… you know not everything needs to be removed with talk therapy or bringing it all up and experiencing it fully… there are some things that can just be released naturally and the best part about level two is you really start to look at okay what are those strengths and how can I use those to not only heal myself but to give myself the life I've always wanted and then that gets you to the third level is where and this is very exciting I think where you begin to release all those old ways of being while you're connected to your authentic self …now that's deep in your unconscious and most people live out here in the conscious mind so what's really interesting is when you go through this process all of a sudden now you know inside of you that like you are being true to yourself you're checking in with yourself and you're asking yourself questions… do I take this job you know do I date this person should I eat this food do I need a nap… and it's a big difference compared to living more conscious all the time and being out here where you're focused on getting the to-do list done doing things the way you've always done it even if you're feeling miserable you're not really changing because you just don't seem to know any better but when you tune in... it opens up a vast array of ideas and concepts that you never knew existed… so it's a lot of fun and then you're going to declare that whole new life in a ceremony and you know just like people get married or they graduate they have a ceremony... when I was designing this program I decided you know we would need a ceremony because frankly this level of your life wasn't planned I didn't plan to create it …it found me… so this is from my own personal experience where you know I was working with a mindset coach and I had this homework assignment I had to explain my old life theme and my new life theme and I was having a lot of blocks …so I knew if I applied some journaling and you know getting into nature and meditation that you know I could get unstuck because I've been there before… but I put all of these processes together so I was journaling and then I was going into nature and then I was coming out and journaling but I was focusing on how I was feeling and the questions and tuning in more and I discovered so much about myself and then when I compiled all my notes and pulled out all the patterns and I fitted in all of the homework assignments… at the top I had this word document was eight pages at the top I had journaling notes right and then all of a sudden I realized this is a ceremony I'm going from the old right into the new and I even described as part of the new you know who I would look like you know what kind of clothes I would wear what kind of life I'd be living and I threw in affirmations in between the new... the old and the new… and I'll tell you it was amazing I said to my daughter I checked in with myself and for me this is what I needed to do… I needed to make this a ceremony so we went out to the… to this nearby area where there is water and I lit some sage and I had some candles I dressed the way that made me feel very feminine and very connected to my authentic self I had Celtic music playing a little bit of rain came down like just a little bit and my daughter videotaped it… I'm going to tell you something It was so moving for me it was just as moving as the day I got married and the day I delivered my daughter… it really was empowering and immediately after that I noticed big changes and shifts in myself and I said my goodness I have to help other people feel this because I would have never known that I could feel this way from taking a homework assignment and then twisting it and turning it and then morphing it into something like this… a program to help other people…

SAMIA: Yeah... oh my gosh that's so lovely and wonderful thank you for sharing that and you're so right I think you're tapping with this idea of turning this into a ceremony where you're making this major life transition by choice… turning that into a ceremony into a ritual you're really tapping into some deep wisdom... I mean there is a reason why in every tradition every culture you know there are these traditions of celebrating whether it's your marriage or whether it's graduating from school or college or even celebrating your birthday you know every year you know you're marking something significant about how your life has been moving forward and how you want to continue to move forward… and it makes a big difference to do that so I absolutely love and so appreciate that you do this… this is awesome... yay… 

RAEKA: Thank you…

SAMIA: Yeah oh my gosh and then you talked a lot about or a little bit about the journaling aspect... can you tell us a little bit more maybe give us some tips about how you engage in journaling particularly with the creative journaling aspect of things because I think that's something that a lot of people might not be familiar with…

RAEKA: Absolutely my pleasure to do that thank you for asking… so journaling if you would like to... I would encourage people to magnify their journaling process by doing it first thing in the morning as you get waking up before you start your day or at the end of the day just before you go to bed and the reason is conscious... your conscious mind is awake and alert and it's easier for you to connect to the unconscious mind at those times and then you can tap into more images and thoughts and feelings that you wouldn't normally be able to tap into …journaling just five to ten minutes a day can increase your well-being, enhance your creativity, increase your productivity, and it can drastically reduce your stress… some of the things that I would recommend because most people will get a journaling book and they'll start writing a few things but then they get stuck because they're not sure what to write so asking yourself good question or having some prompts to start you would really really get you going… I like the idea having a variety of questions and you can research these online... good you know journal questions… there are free apps out there too like dabble me day one momento… but either way you get a good question and that's how you start …so an example of a question would be what are my key takeaways from today… today I demonstrated success by blank what am I thankful for how can I spend my free time better… when you start with something like that and then you don't critique yourself you just... that was what I did and what it was so powerful when I did my own journaling and became very creative… I did not censor myself I didn't look for corrections in my spelling or try to make sense... I just wrote whatever came up came up sloppy neat whatever I just let it come free-flowing I didn't want to interrupt that communication that I was getting from the inside …just those things that wanted to come out whatever they were… so doing that is a lot of fun… there's another technique I really like and I used that when I did this process Carl Young a lot of people know him he's a psychologist he has this active imagination technique for dreaming but you can also apply it to daydreaming or meditation… so it's a way to express your deepest thoughts from the unconscious mind… so again to get into connected to the unconscious mind you want to get in a spot where it's nice and quiet… maybe in the morning or maybe at night you know when you're winding down… and you'll want to focus on your breath… but think about this… how do you like to express yourself… don't limit yourself to just writing …so if it's music or painting or maybe a craft some people like to work with clay or stone… dancing... whatever it is that would feel good for you to express what you have on the inside that's what I encourage you to do… so you focus on that dream or those images and then you allow yourself to get connected deeper to the unconsciousness by just focusing on them in this stillness …you don't have to get real particular about it but like let's say you're seeing you know a beach scene in your mind just start asking questions in your mind about the beach scene… is there anybody out here am I alone what's the weather like you know just what's the water feel like …so then you start to get all of your senses involved with it and you want to get your body involved right so that you can amplify the feelings and you can look at the thoughts that come up …and of course you will get distracted a little bit but just think of those like leaves blowing by you know you just let them go just refocus back on that and spend as much time as you want in this process and if you want to write have your pen and you know and your pad of paper here and just write… but don't read it and go back through it…  just write… and then you just do it until you know you've had enough then you take a break... it could be a few hours it could be even a couple of days then you come back and you look at it again… and I... you'll be so surprised but it'll jump right out at you… the message that you need to hear… pieces that you weren't sure about just come together… there's clarity there's relief there's this amazing feeling of release when you do that, it's very cleansing…

SAMIA: Yeah thank you for sharing those... I see maybe you're thinking about sharing some more tips or were you wanting to move to something or were you feeling complete about that…

RAEKA: Oh I just wanted to just reinforce one other thing when you get in that quiet space these are a couple of questions that when you're reflecting that you can ask yourself what do I need to see here...

SAMIA: Yeah…

RAEKA: ..that's a good question so you've done all that journaling or you've done that processing you come back ask what do I need to see here or what do I need to better understand about myself…

SAMIA: Yeah…

RAEKA: Because this process is going to bridge the gap between your conscious mind and the unconscious and Carl Young said and I quote… until you make the conscious mind... conscious... until you make the unconscious mind conscious it will direct your life and you will call it fate… so I'm living proof that you know I was spinning my wheels for a long time and I didn't realize I had other choices and options to expand who I am and really line up a different life for me…

SAMIA: Yes you made so many excellent points and one thing that I'll just highlight from what you said was number one you can actually look up some questions and things ahead of time that you can journal and you don't have to reinvent everyday new questions or new processes once you find a set of questions that really works for you once you find a process that really works for you you can just feel very free to use that over and over again as long as it's working for you and that is like really helpful… and what you just said right now towards the end about bringing the unconscious to the conscious because until you do that you think oh this is just fate that is so... so true that is so true… I'm wondering if you could maybe share an example of when you experienced that in your life…

RAEKA: An example of overcoming an issue or...

SAMIA: Yeah something that was like unconscious for you and until you actually brought it to consciousness and got clear about it at a conscious level that you continue to struggle to to change or shift…

RAEKA: That's a very good question I like that question actually because I am a busy woman sometimes I get very very busy and I plan a lot but sometimes I'll feel very stuck even though I apply everything that I normally do and most recently because I'm in between a full-time job and then I have my business on the side and it's part time I've been trying to balance it but I'm not quite ready to leave the full-time job... so in the background I didn't realize that I was asking myself why am I still suffering and it was actually causing me to feel tired but I didn't realize I was thinking that thought so when I realized I had that thought I replaced it with what did I do to deserve all the joy and happiness in my life right now and it took me out of that feeling of heavy you know… I just want to get out of this wonkiness to wow everything's working out just the way I want it to… it's working out…

SAMIA: Oh that is a brilliantly wonderful example thank you so much for sharing that I really appreciate it…Oh my gosh you know I can actually relate to that... I can very much relate to that I know I have also been you know recently experiencing this something like I wasn't sure like what in the world was going on but I was feeling this disturbance in my inner peace and I always take that very seriously you know and but I just couldn't figure it out and I was like oh this has to be something that's unconscious…

RAEKA: Right…

SAMIA: You know... and so I need to bring to conscious awareness and so then my favorite thing to do in these kinds of situations is I'm like God please help I can't figure this out on my own please bring to consciousness whatever it is that I need to be more conscious of so that I can then release it more effectively… and it just turned out to be one of those pesky thoughts like old limiting beliefs around oh my gosh this is… I don't know if I have enough if I'm good enough to do this particular thing that I'm trying to do right now you know and it was so cool because the moment that I consciously recognized that oh it's this old pesky limiting belief that was like bothering me in my subconsciousness and I was able to come up with a new belief it was like not new belief but a new thought to focus on... I mean what... I am enough I know enough I have enough I'm... and I'm... not only am I enough and have enough but I'm like fully loved and taken care of and protected my God and so I have nothing to worry about …and so just by refocusing and shifting that thought ah now I'm feeling so much better yay…

RAEKA: Yeah it's amazing isn't it… it's like when it's really cold out and the sun comes out and warms you right up it's the same kind of shift it's very dramatic…

SAMIA: Yes it makes me think about another time and this has actually happened to me multiple times but it's something that really makes me appreciate and love my mom because when I was younger I remember there were so many times when my mom... actually not so many times… this is like part of her I'm pretty sure nightly routine and I just didn't realize it because usually I was fast asleep and didn't realize that she was doing this… but at some point in the middle of the night she would come in to our rooms and just to check on things and she would do things like put a little finger on our forehead or our feet or something to see if we might be cold and if she thought we might be cold because our body felt cold she would like put a blanket on us or something and I had this habit of just you know throwing off my blanket off me and then I would get cold and I didn't even realize I was cold and uncomfortable because of that it was disturbing my sleep but when my mom came in and she pulled the blanket up over me I got so much more comfortable and suddenly was able to relax into a deeper more comfortable sleep…

RAEKA: I love it…

SAMIA: So it's like consciously I didn't realize because I was like basically half asleep what the problem was… I didn't even realize that I was cold until my mom came and she did this very caring action and covered me up and then you know... oh my gosh so this is just a different context of how you know something can be bothering you unconsciously and until that problem is resolved or it comes to your conscious awareness you're not able to resolve it properly…

RAEKA: Right we have a choice every new unfolding minute is the opportunity to make a different choice so no matter where you are right now it could be better it's up to you… you always have a choice…

SAMIA: Yeah yeah and if you're struggling with how to make it better reach out for help…

RAEKA: Exactly…

SAMIA: Reach out for help do some journaling if you're struggling with journaling reach out to reach out to Reaka because she can help you journal more deeply and better and sometimes you know that's all it takes is that if you know these kinds of tools and techniques I know like for a long time I was journaling on my own but no one gave me any direction or any support on how to do it and so it helped me to a certain extent but when my... when I started working with the coach my coach gave me specific direction on... okay use these prompts use this process it just next leveled my journaling practice and helped me reap so many more benefits from it you know and I think that's something that you were sharing also earlier in your experience so I would highly encourage anyone who finds themselves struggling to reach out for help... yeah…

RAEKA: Yeah…

SAMIA: Cool…

RAEKA: So a lot of good resources out there you know... so just open yourself up the first part is just really asking you know getting aware that you need help and then asking for the help…

SAMIA: Yeah…

RAEKA: Yeah…

SAMIA: It makes life more fun and easy it makes change and transformation more fun and easy if you are able to reach out for help and receive the help that you need…

RAEKA: Absolutely…

SAMIA: Awesome oh man... okay I'm having so much fun talking with you and it's about time for us to start wrapping up for today so you know we'll just have to bring you back to share more of your wisdom with us next time but for right now do you have any last words you'd like to share with us…

RAEKA: No... not specifically I just like to encourage people to have hope because you can... there's lots of ways to heal yourself there are a lot of practitioners and people and doctors research it you know talk to somebody that you know and trust… get yourself connected to a subject matter expert that you know can help you that really works well with you that you can develop a good rapport with because trust is really vital when you're doing this inner work you have to have you know the ability to open up fully or you're not going to make... you know you're not going to get that growth that you're looking for…

SAMIA: Yeah... yeah so the last thing I guess I'll ask you is how can people get in touch with you…

RAEKA: Oh I can give you my website I'm at RaekasRealmLLC.com and you know I you can browse around my website I have a lot of interesting stories out in there about me there's a cute little mud pie story about me when I was a little girl making mud pies and connecting to nature I'm actually in the process of making that in a children's book which is a lot of fun but there's also a spot on there where you can email me or you could you know book a free consultation to get a chance to meet me and see if we would be a good fit or if I have something that's of value to you and so I do appreciate that and I know my audience is going to find me I don't worry about it they are out there I was designed to do this work I love this work and I'm going to do it for as long as I can…

SAMIA: Yay I love that…

RAEKA: Thank you Samia…

SAMIA: Thank you so much…