SAMIA: Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, and Privet!Welcome again everybody... And I'm just so happy you're joining us. And I know you'll be very happy you have joined us because we have a very very special guest with us today. It's Roxanne who's an Intuitive Empowerment Coach at Creating Beyond. And I just want to welcome you also Roxanne. Welcome... welcome... 

ROXANNE: Thank you so much Samia... it's so fun to be here with you today. 

SAMIA: Yes! I'm so happy you're here. And Roxanne will you please tell us more about who you are and what you do... 

ROXANNE: Hi everybody...So what I do is I work with people intuitively... I read people's energy fields, I read their bodies, their being, their thoughts, feelings, emotions. So I kind of scan energetically to see where people are stuck... So I listen... I listen to the detail for what people are talking about, what they're saying versus what their vibration is doing… A lot of times we'll say one thing but we do another. So I look for that imbalance where people are stuck… what are they saying but what are they doing… how are they not congruent... So I help people really close the gap between what they're asking for… like where they are now and what they want in their life. So we spend a lot of time going into that energy, finding out where's your blocks, your obstacles, your triggers, stories, patterns, programs... all of that stuff that clogs you from actually creating what you want. So we have a lot of fun when I work with clients. And I do group programs and live calls and all these fun different things... And just in the moment of like what's going on, what's the benefit, what's the non-benefit, what are you getting out of it, how's it helping, how is it stopping, how long have you had it... and really going in and deleting that energy and giving your whole body, being, everything, permission to step forward. So that's what I love to do... 

SAMIA: That's amazing and awesome and I love it. And you know what you just talked about doing in terms of identifying those things that are clogging people up and then just being able to help them release all of that and resolve all of that… that is such deep work. And because you do it at an energetic level, I... every time I've had an opportunity to experience it, whether it's with you or with someone else who does similar work... for sure I agree with you, I find it fun... and I find it way more easy to you know just get rid of all that clogging junk out of my system than any other process that I've experienced honestly. So yay... awesome. Okay, so I know one thing that you really love Roxanne is to actually just be doing the work… and more… even more than talking about it you love just doing it... And so would you like to do a demo... and I can be your subject for today... 

ROXANNE: Absolutely! So anybody that's listening to this podcast they can actually play along… so put your own dynamic, your own questions, put your own scenario as if I'm talking to you... and this will actually work on you as well. 

SAMIA: Nice.

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ROXANNE: Samia, what… is there something in your life that you feel stuck and incongruent with …something you want but you don't know what to do with it... how to get there…?

SAMIA: Yes... and I could tell a little bit more information... So I've basically been working on growing my business, my healing, coaching, practice… and of course you know when you grow, there can be growing pains... so I'm for sure experiencing some of those right now...

ROXANNE: Okay... And it's funny because I tell clients and people that I've worked with for a long time... that you know like we hit that next threshold and we're like "everything's amazing", and then you hit that wall and you're like "oh my god, like nothing's changed". But like you have more money, you have more clients, things are going… but everything feels like it was like 10 years ago, like you're just starting out and just going. So all of that energy that you are stuck in... that's up and available right now… can you imagine encapsulating all of it and shrinking it down to less than nothing? Those thoughts, feelings, emotions, patterns, programs, and stories… are you buying into… that make no sense to you whatsoever... so just imagine discarding all of that energy and shrinking it down to less than nothing… all of this synthetic, artificial hype about what you're supposed to be as a healer, intuitive coach, who your ideal client is supposed to be, how they're supposed to show up, what they're supposed to look like, how often you work with them... can we now encapsulate all of that and shrink it down to less than nothing… One two three release... one two three release... one two three release... Activating your authentic knowing, being and receiving... if you could have it just the way that you'd like to have it, what would it look like for you?

SAMIA: You want me to actually answer that... I can... 

ROXANNE: You can answer it a little bit… but do you see how their energy came up... 

SAMIA: Yeah... 

ROXANNE: It like popped up and it's like I'll have that. So everything that doesn't allow you to have that… well you know… resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete it all and shrink it down to less than nothing... So what would it feel like... so you can share a little bit or you don't have to… either way it's fun... 

SAMIA: Yeah... The words that come to mind are joy and gratitude... to feel even more in joy and gratitude every moment. 

ROXANNE: So I’ve only known you a small amount of time… short period of time... but like you exude joy and gratitude… like you just smile and it's fun and it's easy. So there's almost this like how can I possibly feel more... 

SAMIA: Yeah... 

ROXANNE: Can we now just create all of that impossible energy of like how could I possibly have more of this. So detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete all of that and shrink it down to less than nothing... and imagine that you're expanding out to the joy and gratitude. So it kind of feels like we're so programmed to like be with the body... so like expand out with joy and gratitude to the room that you're in… To the state or country that you're in... And you just got super light and like "yay!" And now the planet... imagine joy and gratitude like expanding to the size of the planet and then the galaxy. And like all of the universes and all the beyond and all of the infinite realms and just exuding it in all directions... and maintain it. How does that feel… better, worse, or the same?

SAMIA: Better... And I think like for me as I go deeper into joy and gratitude... there's also sort of an even deeper sense of contentment that I'm experiencing…

ROXANNE: So now that you've asked for this... so I also do another process… we ask, allow, believe, receive and maintain. So now that you're asking source, energy, vital force energy, creator, source, God… whatever that is for you... once you're tapping into that ask. Everything that says no to you... interference obstacles belief systems patterns programs stories… anything that's like it's too much... detach from that. Encapsulate it, shrink it down to less than nothing. Knowing that your ask is authentic and authentically being heard and delivered. Now we're going to step into the allowing energy... so you were like "oh it's kind of too much... it's too big", "oh what would that look like"... Detach… it's not about what it's going to show up as... it's about allowing it now. So allow your body to let that joy and gratitude be part of your day-to-day life. So just imagine that more of it is coming, and filling you up... and everything that doesn't allow that… detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete it all. Now we actually have to believe it's going to happen because even though we ask for it, we allow it, we don't necessarily believe that it's truly possible on all levels. So all levels of your body being core genetic history soul level and possible level... any level that you have ever created to stop you in some way... detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete it all. Again expand out... so you're asking a lot and believing. And now imagine you're receiving it... so everywhere there feels like there's hands or there's obstacles or you might be pushed out of the way of it... detach from all of that. Encapsulate it and shrink it down to less than nothing. One two three… release it all... one two three… release it all... one two three… release it all... shrink it down to less than nothing. Closing the gap between you asking and receiving... bringing it into now... eliminating the perception of time... and start maintaining that energy. So everything that doesn't allow you to maintain this different, new, higher, more expanded level… detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete it all and shrink it down to less than nothing... And imagine like within a year, two years, how would your life be different if you maintain this...

SAMIA: I'm even more relaxed in the way that I hold my body and my whole self... and it's just even... Like all of me is even more grounded in unconditional love… for myself and for others. 

ROXANNE: Okay… so that year, two year out, bring that here now... step right into that here and now, collapsing in time... let it radiate through all that you are... let it authentically go out and find those new next level people that are seeking you… that want what you have to offer… so everything that makes them doubt… they're asking for more help, they're asking for more abundance, more fun, more ease... so everything between you and them.. detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete it all. Everything that they can't respond to your ask... detach, resolve, dissolve, complete it all. Everywhere they're unable to allow it... detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete at all. Everywhere they don't believe they could have more fun and ease in their life... detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete... Everywhere they're unwilling to take the leap, the step, make the change... detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete it all. Everything that doesn't allow them to receive what you have to offer... detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete it all… and let them maintain the ask that they… they're putting out there so that they can actually find you. So everything that doesn't allow that... and everywhere it's like "wait a minute, if I ask, more people could show up"... detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete it all… Of course they can. So everywhere you have a threshold, a limit, a cap, a barrier, a block, a building, a boulder, a wall, between you and your potential customers and clients but you now just blow it up... let it all go and shrink it down into less than nothing. All of these stories you've been told about how businesses grow and you have to work hard and all of that heavy, heavy, heavy stuff... discard it all… it's not true for you… detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete at all... but there's that part of our mind that goes… wait a minute, that's too easy… but you do fun and easy. So everything that doesn't allow you to do what you do for yourself... detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete it all and shrink it down to less than nothing. How does that feel?

SAMIA: I feel quite marvelous... And for sure feeling even happier and lighter. 

ROXANNE: But then there's the cap… like you know, so some of us are told we can only charge this much per hour… we can only handle these many clients per week. So what's true for you… so just feel it… you don't have to answer out loud… but like how many clients would you like to work with per week? And what would you like to charge for that service…? So go like higher, a little higher… a little more money, a little more money, a little more money... and everything that doesn't allow that... detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete it all. And what would it take for those people to show up that are just… they're in... they know it, they're in. They've been looking for you... you've been looking for them… the match is made, the connections are there… everything that doesn't allow that... detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete it all and shrink it down to less than nothing. Everything that keeps you stoppable, everything that keeps you from being unstoppable... detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete it all… So genetics, ancestors, mother, father, belief systems... discard them all. Ancestors’ struggle through life... discard it all. Teachers, other healers and their struggles and their vows of poverty and their dedication to service… discard it all... one two three… release... one two three… release... one two three… release... Activate your authentic view… another up level… another higher up level… And everything that doesn't allow it... shrink it down to less than nothing… Recoding you to your ultimate authentic you... discarding all of the synthetic, artificial reasons and justifications and shrink it down to less than nothing. How's that feel? 

SAMIA: Great... even lighter… and even more joyful... 

ROXANNE: So how does it feel… about like… thinking about like wow what if I didn't have to struggle… what if I didn't have to buy in those stories... but if this next up-level could just be easy.

SAMIA: Yeah... it is easy. And I've just released everything that's… that felt not easy... so yay!

ROXANNE: Bringing more of you to the table, bringing more of your offer, bringing more of what you can provide... And everywhere like we subconsciously try to hide, we try to wiggle out of it, we kind of make all these procrastinations and excuses that we can do it later... can we now detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete all of that and shrink it down to less than nothing. So as I said before, anybody listening to this can put their own situations... you can put money, you can put love, you can put relationships, you can put whatever you want in it and just let it unlock and unwind for you. 

SAMIA: Nice... ah! Thank you so much for that Roxanne... that was really, really, helpful. I know for me I truly feel so much lighter and happier… and you know that it really is saying something because as you said I'm a pretty happy person already. And so it... but it's you know that's like one of the cool things I think about these amazing positive states of being… whether it's happiness or joy or contentment… that really the capacity for us to experience and to be in these states of being, you know it's infinite... So no matter where you're at now there's room for improvement, room to go deeper. 

ROXANNE: Yeah... Everywhere like each up level has to be harder… like the higher you go the harder it is... detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete all of that... because it's like "oh we're climbing that ladder, we're making up for… we're making a change for… oh there's a wall"... but just… we can just expand that wall, and just keep going.

SAMIA: And I loved how you know you clearly have a very systematic process that you're taking people through or that you are taking us through right now even as you speak... and that you do it in levels… because it's true until you have released a certain something you can't even begin to imagine being able to release what comes after that.

ROXANNE: Well it's interesting because so many people will come to me and they're like I want to 10x my business… I want x amount more money... And I'm like well let's start with where you are...

SAMIA: Yeah... 

ROXANNE: ...and imagine increasing another thousand dollars per day, week, month, year… and then another two… And you'll be amazed that some people were like, "oh no, ten thousand dollars"... They're stuck at the ten thousand dollars, but they want a million dollars at the end of the year… but they can't get past that new additional ten thousand dollars. So that's what I'm talking about… like going in and breaking like each step, and then holding that new vibration of ten thousand dollars additional money. And then another twenty thousand, another thirty thousand… like… oh thirty thousand, that's too much… and collapsing that barrier and then just allowing more and more and more... And then all of a sudden you're holding all of this energetic capacity. You're not containing it like a minimal amount, you're expanding, you're becoming congruent with it, you're getting comfortable with it. It's the same thing with clients… adding another client, feeling like it's comfortable… really tuning in and seeing where you freak out.. like for me, I wanted 14 private clients at one point and I got them... I was like oh it's too much… and I start… like I started collapsing because I wasn't maintaining... I had… I just was like oh 14, awesome... I can do 14 now… but back then it was like I just really collapsed everything down because they never were taught to maintain it.

SAMIA: Yes... I actually noticed that about the process that you brought in this maintenance aspect... that is so, so, amazingly important. Thank you so much for highlighting that… for sure I can say based on my past experience, just like you, that was I would say the first real challenge that I faced… you know especially in the context of you know when I first started my business... I started it at a point in time in my life when I was at a really you know like high place in my life… because I had just devoted like literally so many... I mean I'd been working up to it… but like for literally years I'd been focusing on improving my mental health, growing spiritually, this and that… And I'd reached a point where I was just in a very high vibration, and that is actually what allowed me and motivated me to start my business in the first place… But then I got caught up with you know working in my business and working on my business. And I wasn't able to maintain growing myself in terms of my own happiness, my inner peace, my spirituality, and all of that… And because of that, for sure, like I would say within like a couple of years... I started to notice like a slip in my performance and my ability to sort of be my best and be in that high energy… And of course at the same time I had been making progress at the level of growing my business and stuff… and so I was hitting growing pains again... And it's like… but it's like in order for me to actually effectively overcome the growing pains... I had to refocus on growing my happiness and my spirituality and all of that. 

ROXANNE: So one little area… health, fitness, wealth, family relationships... when one thing kind of feels like it's suffering, we just can get pulled down. So it's really about like embracing all areas of life you know… not that everyone has to be in a relationship to be successful …none of that kind of stuff... but like having the fun life as you said… Like some people are super active, some people aren't, and that's okay. But having enough of that momentum of like you know inner game, clearing, upgrading your skills, holding a higher vibration of people in your life… you know there has to be enough that keeps going in order to keep going… or we give up one of the things we love for business and then we're like, why am I doing this business... I don't love it anymore. Like I'm helping everyone else get better and happy and I'm like where am I on my happiness... 

SAMIA: Oh my gosh you just reminded me of Mr. Miyagi in The Karate Kid... I love that movie. I love all of the series… like there's four movies in that Karate Kid series, and I love all of them. I especially love Mr. Miyagi and just like so much wisdom… and I can just see right now one of the scenes where he's talking to Daniel... the karate kid right that Mr. Miyagi is mentoring… if this is just for those of you who might not have seen the movie... 

ROXANNE: I have seen... 

SAMIA: Yeah right... 

ROXANNE: Such an honorable moment... 

SAMIA: And this was exactly the lesson that Mr. Miyagi was teaching Daniel... he was like Daniel son you know you need balance... 

ROXANNE: Yeah and you have to not forget what you're doing it for. You know I love new customers... I love new clients… but like I focus on like, can I actually help this person... am I actually like… does it feel like it's a match? If I put like one or two too many people in my day or my week, that like… we just… they're telling me and I don't get that… it’s like ugh... oh it's not working for me. So I really enjoy like doing intro sessions and getting to know the person to see if it's a match for both of us because again there has to be balance... 

SAMIA: Yeah. 

ROXANNE: If you feel like you're trying to push somebody into change, or like really super coaching them into change... it's really hard on the person doing the facilitation. And you know… and I focus on the person in front of me, and I always look at money as the side effect… Because if I have to show up with this person once a week, you have to like them. Yeah. I have to see change as possible. I have to you know… there has to be that level of commitment on both ends...Right. But you know sometimes coaches really get in there... and they're like, I want 14 clients no matter what, or 15 clients… like it's collecting people... Right....instead of actually like who is who's authentically ready. So when I look for clients and students for any program I ask like the energy of creation... bring me those that are ready to up-level and they're really ready to change… I don't care what level you're at as long as you're willing to go up. 

SAMIA: Right... oh that's such another amazing point. And it actually made me think of a question that's not exactly the same but related to what you were just talking about... Well, maybe it's not even related, but this is the question that popped up in my mind when you were just speaking... So you know like how we are coming up with these kinds of goals in our mind about… okay I want to start working with this many more clients every week or every month, or I want to make this much more money… And you know you're... and the idea there is you know you set these concrete goals… and so that you have a way to sort of like measure your progress and know if you have actually accomplished what you need… But I'm wondering from like a spiritual perspective, from like a healer's perspective... are these really the best kind of goals for us to create? So one of my coaches… I learned from him the language of… there's two kinds of goals... there's input goals and then there's output goals. So the kind of goals we were just talking about… I want to make x amount of money or I'll start working with this many people or more people... these are output goals… But really how much of the output is in our control, like especially if we are looking at it from a spiritual perspective. And so is it not wiser, better, to focus on input goals...

ROXANNE: ... _________

SAMIA: ..sorry? An example of an... 

ROXANNE: What did he consider an input goal? 

SAMIA: So an input goal would be something like I say I'm going to put in x hours of work doing y work... you know that's an so input goal. 

ROXANNE: And so like if I said I'm going to work out every day… something that I have control over. 

SAMIA: Yes and that I am doing, I am putting in. So as opposed to… output goal is like a result. So it's like I'm going to work out for one hour every day, versus, I'm going to lose 10 pounds at the end of the year… or something. 

ROXANNE: Okay so I get that... but like first of all I would do it a little different… I would first say like is this my goal... we're psychic beings… we mimic, duplicate, replicate, conjure up these things that we're supposed to have because society group consciousness says that in order to be a coach you need to be this. 

SAMIA: Yeah. 

ROXANNE: So I start with people… when we work on money stuff… is like... first of all is this yours... someone else's or something else's goal. Because you'd be surprised how many things you say you want but you have no intention of ever creating it. So it's a dead goal. It's somebody else's dream... it has nothing energetic to do with you whatsoever. 

SAMIA: Right. 

ROXANNE: So we… I have my clients that I work with make a list of five to ten things that they want to achieve within six months when we work together… or if it's a 30-day program or whatever just... and then we go through and really write like what are you actually gonna do. 

SAMIA: Yeah. 

ROXANNE: Do you actually want this output goal... do you really actually... are you putting out the right vibe, the right intention, is it authentic to you for people to actually respond and show up to you. But if you're mimicking someone else's energy... it's putting out a vibe that doesn't come back to you because it's not true for you. So you can put in endless, endless, endless hours of doing marketing and strategy and talks… but if you're not authentically being you what's going to come back... you're going to awaken those people to the people that you're mimicking. They're going to go out and be more attracted to the people that it's authentic to, not you. So I really like to help people find what is really authentic to them… what is their message… what is their goal… what is their target you know... Are they really going to do 30 hours of marketing a week and business planning or whatever? Or is it more like five? How much can they get out of that five minutes or five hours of you know input to that versus thirty... like what's really gonna work with them… Because sometimes you're just sitting at your desk for 30 hours and you've accomplished nothing. But you've… you've been a good person… you sat and you honored yourself and you sat there and you pretended really well that you were gonna create your business today… And a distraction comes up and a phone call happens and you check your emails and you're on Facebook… and you're doing everything but your business... because you really have no attachment to that goal.

SAMIA: Yeah... 

ROXANNE: So really going in and finding out what's true for you... what lights you up, what excites you... what do you see doing with yourself… you know how do you... if you are a coach, what really... you know… I was in a program where the founder of the program… the modality was like muscle testing and telling people what type of coach they were… like that's weird you know… like don't I get to say what I want to be… like muscle testing is beliefs you know. So there has to be like a choice involved. So what are you really choosing to do? And if you actually could do it for the rest of your life... what would you do? Because again there's the doing… like so I really don't even like to say what would you do… but it's more of like what energy would you be?

SAMIA: Yeah.

ROXANNE: What energy would you be that would attract the people, the clients, customers, referrals, that you're seeking... What energy are you refusing to put out that would actually attract that to you? 

SAMIA: Yeah. 

ROXANNE: Instantaneously. 

SAMIA: Right. 

ROXANNE: And then we close the gap between you and that energy of, I can't have that, that'd be too easy, it doesn't happen that way… because all the teachers talk about how coaches teachers mentors like how hard it has to be and your first couple years have to be a struggle… and we're like okay well we're gonna make it struggle for a couple years you know or we're following all of their pathways instead of creating our own direct connection... 

SAMIA: Yeah. 

ROXANNE: Everything we brought up about all of this, the true, the not true, the lie, the input, the output, the manipulation, all of it… collapse it and shrink it down to less than nothing.

SAMIA: Yeah...

ROXANNE: One two three, release… One two three, release… One two three, release...  But to really look at like what do you want? You know I can't tell you how many people on Facebook recently sent a request and then they're like, so how many clients do you want... what do you have… how much more money… and I'm like that doesn't work for me. 

SAMIA: Right. 

ROXANNE: Money is not my motivator... 

SAMIA: Yeah.

ROXANNE: Change is my motivator... 

SAMIA: Yes... you know you're definitely my people... I'm your people… because I found the same thing is that... I think this was like early on one of the first business coaches that I was working with… and they you know just like pretty much all business coaches typical… they'd be like okay how much money do you want to make, like what's your annual income goal, what's your monthly income goal… we'll break that down into a weekly and a daily goal... And I set those goals but it, just like you said, was not motivating for me at all... And what did work for me was thinking about in terms of how many people do I want to help, you know. So and then my heart was like okay we want to help at least 500 people a month you know... And so then I was like okay well how do I help 500 people a month? like what context do I help them? And like do I… you know what different programs or different services that I have… what will allow me to reach 500 people… you know… And my first thought I remember was like, oh my gosh, I can't coach 500 people. And then I was like… and then so once we were on board... 

ROXANNE: …All that… detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete all of that…

SAMIA: It's like actually there is a way I can coach 500 people… and it doesn't have to be about me coaching 500 people either... because like when my heart says I want to help at least 500 people a month, it's not just talking about it in the context of being a coach. It's also talking about you know me helping people through my podcast, through the healings that I do, through training work that I do you know… and so I'm actually reaching way more people than just 500 people a month. 

ROXANNE: And it's amazing because when you put the number down, you're like that's not possible… and when you like release it, erase the number, like it can go much farther because it's in the motivation…

SAMIA: Exactly! Exactly! And you're so right because when I first created that 500 people a month goal or rather it came to me… honestly… like, it wasn't a number that my mind calculated… but it was just like something that came for me… At that time, to my mind that number felt big. And so you know, like I said, my immediate reaction was... that's not good, this is not possible, I can't coach 500 people... you know. But it's like really once you like release that limiting belief and then for sure the possibilities begin to open up and reveal themselves.

ROXANNE: But another thing that really makes the big difference is too is that you know when you look at another coach and you're like wow they're making $250,000 a year or they're making 500 or a million or 2 million, and you're like, I want that... and then like you mimic that as well. But you don't realize that they might have more expenditures than you do. So like even though they have a million dollars at the end of the year, what is their total at the end... 

SAMIA: Yeah... 

ROXANNE: But we're like oh but we want that... and if you look at it maybe you don't have as many expenditures. Maybe you actually make more profit at the end of the year because you're not spending it the way that they are. Some big coaches are out there with seminars and venues and airfare and travel and endless expenses… And you're sitting home you know on zoom helping people and making a profit. So like we really can't even look at people's targets the same… you know like for example I'm a single mom and some other people have dual incomes or they have more kids than one… I have one. So it depends on like where is our money going and what do we have at the end of the year… because we can't calculate it the same way... So you really shouldn't look at other people and be like I want what they're having because you don't know what they're having… you don't know what they have… and if somebody has a lot of expenditures they might need that extra 10 clients a week that you have no desire for. So it all depends, it's all very personal of what's really going to light you up and what is it that you want to add in your life... So exactly like how much money do you need a month and then you know like cars, homes, travel, classes, all of that… you really do want to look at everything… you need to live the life that you would really love to have... And then you do reverse engineer it… like how many customers, how many programs, what would it look like…? And then you kind of push that away and be like okay I need 40, 50 people, 500 people to make this happen… whatever... then you focus on those people… you know the fact… So I'm never saying ignore the facts... like if you need to pay your bills, you need to pay your bills. So you definitely put money and an intention of money out there… but you don't really focus on like… I always look at the money as the side effect for the change that's available.

SAMIA: Yes... 

ROXANNE: And I show up anyway you know. So some programs I have are like big and successful, some are not… but if I've made the commitment I'm gonna do it. 

SAMIA: Yeah.

ROXANNE: A lot of people are like you know oh if I don't have 10 or 20 people then I'm canceling… But look at those 10 or 20 people that were excited to work with you and they were anticipating and excited about the change that they were gonna get… and then you negate them and say that they're not good enough. So I like to really keep my word and keep on it with them, because like it's all about integrity. If you're not true to your customers and your clients or yourself then what's the point of being in that energy.

SAMIA: That's right... that's right. So that's one lesson that I keep hearing you share… is the importance of being authentic. It's like you have to be true to yourself whether it's in the context of the goals that you're setting for yourself or the commitments that you're making with other people… 

ROXANNE: Yeah... amazing… And I'm not going to say that things don't happen and you have to change appointments and schedules and reschedule stuff. But when you're intending that you're not going to do it unless x amount of people show up you're collapsing the possibility that even more could show up… but if you say you can only have 20 but you're really energetically possible for 40... and you've limited it…. So like if the whole amount of people can't show up maybe some of them don't show up to make it even possible... 

SAMIA: Yeah... 

ROXANNE: I think how it all plays out sometimes… and the people that you're drawing in, you have to make sure that they play well with others… because through the years I've had so many people say oh I'm so glad it's a small class… I really love small classes… I love the intimate feel of small classes. So they kind of cancel out potential people from showing up because they're like collapsing the energy... so you really want to out create that energy so that more people can show up and you have plenty of time, space, availability, for everybody… 

SAMIA: Yes... So that's another really, really, cool thing that I've been noticing about your process and what you have been sharing… is this idea of being really conscious of where we are placing limits on ourselves that are unnecessary and maybe even counterproductive to our greater intention and just removing all of those limits... oh do you have any tips to share with us on how we can... 

ROXANNE: Honestly go through my day... whenever I feel a contraction or a limitation or I hear myself… because I've become really good at listening to myself talk… when you're listening to other people talk all the time you start listening to yourself talk all the time... and I'm like oh my god there's a limitation… and I seriously imagine that there's… I step back from that limitation, bubble it up, encapsulate it, and shrink it down to less than nothing... Everywhere I'm buying into it, everywhere I'm playing into it, everywhere I'm participating with it… no more... detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete... Switch it out of my existence. We don't have time for it… And, but, we're programmed to limit, we're programmed to constantly question, doubt, worry, create anxiety, create the next obstacle… It's exhausting... So the more that you can go through your day and just detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete, shrink it down to less than nothing... I do it all day long… I know it sounds a bit crazy, but it becomes part of your energy field eventually… because then you just be that energy of clearing, and the obstacles will start dissolving themselves.

SAMIA: Nice! And so I can just… to play the devil's advocate, or just to speak for the people who are doubters, because they have not lived in this kind of energy and are not used to this kind of… I can just hear my old self for sure and other people that I am around and I work with, you know, just being… that's not realistic… you can wish things away but does that really… I mean that's just not realistic… you know... 

ROXANNE: Oh no... I hear it all the time as well. 

SAMIA: So how do we.... how do you respond to that? how do you help somebody who is in that mindset right now? I mean that's limiting in itself... yeah. 

ROXANNE: Look at that greatest limitation of doubt. 

SAMIA: Yeah... 

ROXANNE: So like I would have somebody sit in that.

SAMIA: Yeah. 

ROXANNE: And it's heavy and it's thick and it's just... and then you go right into the core of it and what would be in the core of that doubt…

SAMIA: Yeah... I think I… if I really... I think the core of that doubt is just a lot of it has to do with what I believe is possible or true about the universe… about just how things are... 

ROXANNE: And do you believe that you lead your life or do you believe that life leads you?

SAMIA: Excellent question... excellent question… right... yeah… I think my disempowered self definitely feels like life leads me… but my empowered self, depending on how empowered it's feeling in the moment, will be like, I want to lead my life... And if it's feeling really empowered, then it's like, I do lead my life. 

ROXANNE: Right, so it depends on which one you feed. If you feed that life is happening to you then you are putting out that energetics so that you are the victim disempowered version of you and then you have obstacles to clear and challenges to have and pity parties to play in... Or you can be like wow I don't know how it's going to happen but I'm going to be in control... I'm you know not bossy.... So I like to tell people this too… this is a big, big, big, big, thing... So when you realize that you've been in a really unhealthy relationship, you've been giving of service and doing to your disadvantage… people automatically go... I'm never letting that happen again… I'm not gonna let anybody mess with me... then you become the bully. So you go from victim to like bully... you are somewhere in between… you are like 45 to 55% in the middle. So you want to collapse the victimized energy and the bully energy and shrink them both down to less than nothing all day long. So when you go into reaction, you go into story, you go into blame, you go into shame, you go to regret, rejection, all of it… it's a story. And you're a part… you're playing into it, you're participating in it… you're writing novels and novels of nonsense. So if you can stop writing what you don't want... you have freedom to start creating what it is you packed. So yes... so then I would go into the doubt and underneath that you said that there's limitation and then you go into the limitation... and you just keep following that chain of energy to where you actually feel good and powerful because we're uncovering all of this intense stuff... these lies, these manipulations, these things that we've been buying into… they're not real or true about us. So when you can start plucking them off... then you start feeling better, and you're like, there's hope… maybe I can do this… maybe it's not all phony, baloney… But it takes work and it takes effort... and I have to be completely honest with you… I've been doing this work for 18 years. I started off as a massage therapist years and years and years before that. And I was at massage school and we did a weekly like daily meditation in class. And I thought everyone here is phony and crazy… and I wasn't there yet... Like I didn't understand meditation, I didn't understand any of it. I took a reiki class, I thought, oh my god, these people are nuts… And then years later here I am teaching the crazy stuff... So again, just where… if you, you're here, you're listening… you think it's crazy… something brought you here… something you know is possible… could shift to your advantage... it's up to you. It's total choice… you don't have to buy into it… you don't have to participate in it… you don't have to play in it... But what's the value of not giving it a try... what would be the worst thing that would happen if you did try. You might feel lighter… you might have more experiences coming… But like if you are living in doubt, living in fear, living in worry, thinking everything's happening to you… nothing fully will change. Because we're here to step into our power, our potency, be co-creators with energy and uplift each other. So it's not about being powerful like oh my god I control my life, now I'm going to mess with the world… no… you're going to uplift the world and be like you… and have fun…. So that's my point of view on all of it.

SAMIA: I love it... I love it. And we do have to start wrapping up Roxanne, but I have one more question... 

ROXANNE: Yes... 

SAMIA: One more question for you… So because you just brought up actually a really interesting issue, I think... and that's the issue of control… of us on the one hand wanting to be in control, but feeling out of control, but then also there may be a part of us that's feeling like it's unrealistic to try and control something you know that we feel out of control of… and all of that... and you just said something about like… I won't be able to quote you exactly, but you just said… it's not really about control... can you tell me more like more like for people who are struggling with control issues… yeah... what's a better healthier perspective... 

ROXANNE: Like, so imagine you're just like you're in front of me... and imagine that we are going to work together or I'm presenting that I'm working with you. I'm going to send you two energies and I want you to tell me which one feels lighter... Okay, so this is the first one... Okay, now this is the second one... Which one feels lighter?

SAMIA: Second...

ROXANNE: So the first one was like control. I need your money. I need you to work with me. I need you. I need you. I need you. You have to hire me. The second one was like, wow... it would be such a gift to work with you. So when we do control, a lot of us use force and domination. And it's repulsive to people that are energy related and working on themselves. Some people, it actually feels good because they're used to being controlled, and some people don't choose me because I don't control them enough.

SAMIA: Yeah. It's really interesting. 

SAMIA: Interesting... interesting.

ROXANNE: Because I'm not pushy when I do an intro session with somebody… I give them options then I let them choose... and they're like well you're not you're not selling it. I said I've already presented what I offer you have to choose... they're like I don't know how to choose. And I'm like well what would it feel like if you worked with me light or heavy. And now imagine not working with me, would that create more? So I really like to give people choice... I can't control and I don't want to control anybody because what's it going to look like for 24 sessions of working together if I'm forcing you to make changes you probably don't really want to make? How is that relationship going to work you know...

SAMIA: Right.

ROXANNE: ..that's not going to work. But I really invite people to change… like if you could get out of control and say you know okay yes that my foundational energy right now is control and manipulation... because we've been programmed to be that.

SAMIA: Yeah.

ROXANNE: How else would I like to create? So you detach, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete all of those control systems and shrink them down to less than nothing. What would my authentic foundation energy be? And if I really had a choice to create my life and I didn't feel controlled or pressured, what would I choose?  And then it's just a different energy field and you're like… oh, so I you know I don't have to have all those things that I think I need to have… and I can actually have it now. I don't have to wait five years like other coaches. And I don't have to take all of the classes that everyone else has taken? I can take what actually is true for me? And that's another big thing... So like when I work with people it's a really big invitation to work together. I don't do push. I don't do push or pull... I just invite and kind of let you sit in it and choose... But there's so many people when you're taking a class, are you taking that class for you or for the instructor that has all the expenditures of the venue and the airfare and they need money in their pocket? Are you doing it for some unrelated reason that has nothing to do with you? I can't tell you how many classes I've taken that had nothing to do with me... it was always for somebody else in the room, you know…Aand I'd meet that one person and give them that one tiny bit of advice and be like that's why I just flew across the world to give somebody a little bit of inspiration… I was like yeah that doesn't work for me anymore. So I really sit back, and I'm even… a coach… if I'm looking for a new coach, if I'm taking another program... it has to be for me.

SAMIA: Yeah... 

ROXANNE: It can be for me, others and the planet... it can be all of it. But like number one it has to be for me, you know.

SAMIA: Yeah...

ROXANNE: Because at this day and age we can talk to people through internet. I don't have to fly there and give all my money to connect with people anymore... So that's just how I look at it... it's like we need to stop forcing everything into perform, because it doesn't really last, because we don't maintain it. It's like when you go get a new car and you're super excited you have this new car and five days later you're like oh it's just whatever… we don't maintain that excitement… that like... "yeah! I have a new car"... we just drop it. So we have to stop dropping everything we receive because then we don't take it seriously, we don't value it... And then we discard it… we're on to the next new thing we want… and it's exhausting.

SAMIA: Yeah... oh man. Okay, I want to keep talking. So just one… one… although we do have to wrap up fairly soon… but just one follow-up question... 

ROXANNE: I know my puppy is getting really upset that she's in another room... I apologize. 

SAMIA: Okay, just really quick hopefully this one... and I promise this will be my last one. So when… when you talk about creating our own life... I know like for a lot of people... So what… I just want to, I guess, maybe check in with you and make sure I'm hearing you right and understanding you as you are meaning it... So when I hear you talking about the idea of creating our life, you're not talking about creating from an energy or intention of wanting to control your life, are you…?

ROXANNE: Go ahead... just another question there.

SAMIA: So it's more, more like a confirmation of, am I hearing you right? Because what I'm thinking I'm hearing you say is that when you are in that kind of creation energy that you were just describing, it's more about being in an energy of just recognizing my ability to create... So I'm not… it's not that I'm trying to control my life or control someone else's life… but it is just a simple acknowledgement of the fact that I can create my life, and I'm just doing that… and… and to do that also from… to own my creative energy, and to do it from a place of joy and gratitude also… you know... And so it's like I'm creating because I can create and I'm doing it and I'm having fun and I'm just loving, loving my life. And it's not about trying to control my life or anyone else... so it's for that matter... 

ROXANNE: So the whole ‘Creating Beyond’ energy… like I was like okay what's the new... My company used to be called Source and Healing... So I would get all of these people that had illness, and they're like, fix it… And I'm like okay, but what, what created it? What patterns, programs, stories… like what… you know? So I'll back up just a step… so with Creating Beyond I actually teach theta healing… I've taken theta healing classes over the last 17 years... which helps you develop intuitively. I've taken access consciousness classes over the last 10-12 years… several other different  modalities… tons and tons of different perspectives… looking at all the ways the different healers and teachers have facilitated change. So Source and Healing was kind of like really getting people that were like, “fix me now because I have this illness”, or whatever... so it's more than just the illness, it's more than just your finances… you've been participating in all of this for a long time. If you're stuck, if there's no momentum, this is an incongruent choice that you have agreed to whether you believe in past lives or genetically or wherever. At some point in time you have been disempowered and you've choose it. You've aligned it and agreed with it… And it has followed you through however long it is… and now when you're like… Okay, I'm done. Why do these bad things keep happening to me? You really can dis-create those bad things. So that's how we're talking about encapsulating and shrinking it down to less than nothing. Contracts, curses, vows, oaths, commitments, obligations, duties, packs, tribal agreements... anything you can think of… detach from it, resolve, dissolve, cancel, complete it all... Say it a million times if you have to. But get yourself out of that energy of like “but I said I would…” Yeah, but you didn't know that it was gonna continue… So like… “my greatest love, I'm gonna love you for all eternity”… and you've said it 85 lifetimes ago. And you can't find a partner in this lifetime because they forgot you said it, but you're upholding that promise... So you are bound to this being from some other lifetime. The body's no longer even alive but you've dedicated yourself to someone or something. And that's where it's like trying to control your way out of it… it's never gonna happen.

SAMIA: Right. 

ROXANNE: So you need to just detach from it… like okay, so God, creator, source, energy, whatever… I didn't realize we were infinite beings from the moment I said this... please revoke, cancel, rescind, renounce all of those agreements. Please set me free of all this… and now I'm free to choose... So but controlling it… like contracts of, like contracts of protection or soulmate contracts… that's a lot of control, because in a soulmate contract you've got this contract with another being that might be mutual or one-sided... they might remember, they might have cleared their end of the contract with you, but you're still obligated to be with them from this outdated contract. And if you do happen to meet, it feels sticky and hard and like, oh, we've been doing this forever... So clearing a soulmate contract, even if you're with your soulmate, can actually make it fun… Like there's freedom and there's peace… then there's like, oh, I actually choose this person. I don't have to just be with this person... Then you remember why you actually chose them way back whenever you chose them, if that's still available now. But control is like that energy of like, I love you and you love me right…? Like and then I'm gonna hold you to that promise of loving me forever… that's the control energy. So if you really love somebody, you choose it freely every single day… like of course I choose you... You're not controlling them, manipulating, dominating, lying to them, to get them to stay… You're giving them more of a space of choice to choose day in and day out. So using the co-creative energy of source, creating your life with God-energy, working with the flow... So it's not about like I'm bigger than god. You're co-creating with god. You're using life force energy, you're realizing your birthright to be part of the collective energy, and use it to your advantage… not forcing it on others... But when I look at how I create, it creates for me… others in the planet. Like I don't want to go against anybody, I don't use force.

SAMIA: I love that... 

ROXANNE: I hope that makes sense... I hope I answered your questions...

SAMIA: Yeah oh you answered my question for me, and raised many more... And we are still going to wrap up today... 

ROXANNE: You promised you weren't going to ask another, but go ahead... 

SAMIA: No... you know what, we'll just bring you back and keep talking… But for right now we will go ahead and wrap up. And I just want to thank you again so much Roxanne for joining us, for sharing all your wisdom. And to you our dear listeners, please make sure you check the show notes because we'll be dropping Roxanne's links in there... I'll also drop mine in case you want to get in touch with either one of us. And yeah, until we connect next time I just wish you lots and lots of peace and joy. :)