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Habits To Create Happiness In Your Workplace...
With Alex Colkitt & Samia Bano
Feeling unfulfilled and #burntout at work? Craving a more supportive #workplaceculture?
Listen now to this interview with Alex Colkitt, #LifeCoach & #HappinessExpert, to learn how you can #CreateHappiness in your workplace AND achieve better #worklifebalance by cultivating Habits of Happiness in the Workplace…
Alex shares helpful tips and key steps you can take to improve your #workplacementalhealth and feel more #happyworking now. So tune in and get inspired to bring more happiness and joy into your professional (and personal) life!
PLUS, learn 5 Ways To Boost Your Mood When Work Is Stressful by downloading Alex's FREE GUIDE at: https://ac-holistic-wellness.ck.page/9b5544abf5
#happinessisachoice #happywork #workplacewellbeing #workplacesuccess #habitsofsuccess #happyworkplace #HappyWorkLife
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ABOUT SAMIA:
Samia Bano is the #HappinessExpert, author, speaker, podcaster & coach for coaches and healers. Samia is most known for her book, 'Make Change Fun and Easy' and her #podcast of the same name. With the help of her signature Follow Your Heart Process™, a unique combination of #PositivePsychology and the spiritual wisdom of our most effective #ChangeMakers, Samia helps you overcome #LimitingBeliefs, your chains of fear, to develop a #PositiveMindset and create the impact and income you desire with fun and ease…
Samia’s advanced signature programs include the Happiness 101 Class and the Transformative Action Training.
Samia is also a Certified #ReikiHealer and Crisis Counselor working to promote #MentalHealthAwareness.
Samia models #HeartCenteredLeadership and business that is both #SociallyResponsible and #EnvironmentallyFriendly.
Samia is a practicing #Muslim with an inter-spiritual approach. As someone who has a love and appreciation for diversity, she is a #BridgeBuilder between people of different faiths and cultures.
Although Samia currently lives in California, USA, she has lived in 3 other countries and speaks Hindi, Urdu, and English fluently.
To Book your Free HAPPINESS 101 EXPLORATION CALL with Samia, click: tps://my.timetrade.com/book/JX9XJ
Full Interview Transcript
SAMIA: Hello, Salam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, and Privet! It's really awesome to be with you again. And guess what? We have a returning guest... And it's Alex Colkitt. And actually, Alex, we have done two other episodes before this one. So an extra, extra welcome back to you…
ALEX: Thank you... Yes, Samia. Thank you so much for having me again for a third time. I love our conversations. And I'm really excited to dive into this topic…
SAMIA: Yes, yes. And actually, before we dive in… dive into our topic for today, just for those who might have missed the previous two episodes… first of all, if you did miss the previous two episodes, please go back and check those out. But for right now, can you Alex, tell us once more just a little bit more about who you are and what you do?
ALEX: Oh, yeah, absolutely. So as Samia said, my name is Alex Colkitt. I am a Life Coach and Happiness Expert. And I help burnt-out women create life-work balance by figuring out what meaningful work looks like in support of their happiest, healthiest life. I come from a corporate background where I had my head down. I was doing everything I was told. I checked all of the boxes of climbing the corporate ladder, making a lot of money. And I felt like I wasn't making any impact. I felt like my days were meaningless. I was extremely unfulfilled. And I was walking around with no purpose in life... So I had a rock bottom moment that kind of shook me to my core, and I said, enough is enough. I'm gonna explore what actually drives me and brings me purpose every single day. And makes me feel fulfilled on a daily basis. So I discovered holistic health coaching, life coaching. And now I help other women, figure out what their purpose is because it was transformational in my happiness and my quality of life. And everyone deserves to feel that…
SAMIA: Yes. And I love that about you. And thank you so much for sharing some of your journey with us... I think it's so important. And actually, I'm extra glad you shared that bit of your journey with us today. Because what I would love to focus on talking with you about today is habits of happiness in the workplace... For… Because, again, for those of you who may have missed our first couple of episodes, we were talking about holistic habits of happiness, and you know, just how to create happiness in your life in general. And one of the very important aspects of our lives is, of course, our work. And if you're not happy at work, it's happy to be difficult... difficult to be happy in life. And when you have that kind of realization that I'm not happy at work, you know, it's not always a very smooth, easy, quick transition that you can make from that realization to how you can be happy at work... And so, I would love to dig deeper with you today, Alex, into this idea of, okay, when you have this realization of I'm not happy at work, what are the steps that we can sort of go through to transition into doing work that we love. And in the meantime, while we're going through that transition period, what can we do to support our happiness, in the meantime, or in that in that period of transition…
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ALEX: Yeah, absolutely. So where do I dive in... I have so many places I want to start with this… So I think looking back at my experience, like you were just saying, work takes up 40-plus hours of your week. And I say plus very strategically, because I don't think anybody actually works only 40 hours... Work tends to monopolize more of our time than we want to let it and it bleeds into the nighttime, it bleeds into the weekends… especially with remote work having such a big boom when the pandemic happened. It's really hard to have boundaries between your work and life... So I think the first habit of happiness I would love to offer up here is setting boundaries. And I think boundaries is a buzzword right now, in general. And a lot of times, I think we get really stuck on only focusing on boundaries in one sense of the word around, like, time boundaries, right, of saying, "Okay, I'm cutting myself off tonight, I'm not checking my email on the weekends, etc, etc". But where I think we have missed opportunities to create more happiness and create more fulfillment is actually creating other types of boundaries... So in my book, there are three different types of boundaries. The first is time boundaries, that definitely matters. The second, arguably the most important when it comes to happiness in the workplace, is emotional boundaries. And I can dive into what I mean by those. And then the third is mental boundaries. So like I said, Time Boundaries are there to ensure that you really are only working for the hours that you're getting paid for. Because we do only get paid 40 hours, for 40 hours of our time, right... It feels like we have to answer these emails, we have to finish these projects. But at the end of the day it's a time and value exchange. And we need to recognize that. And it's okay to say, hey, I don't actually get paid for this overtime, I'm going to stop working now, right... So one tip I have there is to set your working hours on your calendar so that everybody can see and then you actually need to hold yourself accountable to shutting down at that time, cutting yourself off, and recognizing that you need a break. Another tip for time boundaries is all about monitoring your notifications. So we are highly connected at all times... And if you see a notification from your boss come through at 8 pm on your phone, or an email from a client, you're probably going to answer it because you're seeing that notification, you get triggered by it… you feel the sense of urgency, even though it's kind of made up urgency. And so the tip there would be just turn your notifications off… for email, or whatever messaging service that you have… any notification you could possibly get that is work-related, outside of working hours, turn it off... We have full control over what we see and when we see it on our phones... we need to stop letting our phones dictate our mental capacity. And then the third tip I have for time boundaries is really saying no to working on the weekends. That was something I was horrible at when I worked in my corporate world because again, I had those notifications turned on... I would get a slack from my boss Sunday morning. And that would trigger Sunday scaries. And I'd have like a rush of anxiety, feeling like, Oh my God, this day is almost over, I have to go back to work tomorrow with the fear of what's on the other side of making myself have to do something I don't want to do. So say no to working on those weekends and really set that boundary for yourself. And then that kind of goes hand in hand with tip number two because you'll be able to turn off the notifications. And that will stop triggering you to check your phone or answer an email or respond to a boss out of those working hours...
SAMIA: Yeah.
ALEX: So those are all the time boundaries I can share for you.
SAMIA: Oh, thank you for those… and I can totally relate to them. Not only relate but testify to the effectiveness of this turning of the notifications…
ALEX: Yeah.
SAMIA: It's so helpful. It's so helpful... I mean, I remember feeling that anxiety, or that sense of, okay, I have to get back right now to… when I saw a notification, especially if it was from like a client or a potential client. And part of me was like, oh no, you know, if I don't get back to them right away, I might lose some… But it's like they're… you're so right... most of the time, it's made up urgency. It's most of the time… it… they can wait. And you can wait... In the few situations where it might be like something truly urgent, I think you can set up protocols for how you can, you know, get through to each other in that kind of a context... I remember one of the books that I was really inspired by in this context is The four-hour workweek… and in that the author, Tim Ferriss, he actually provided a template for doing these automated responses that you could include in your emails... that was the context in which he shared the template, in any case. And in the template, it basically says something to the effect of… and by the way, I totally used this template for a long time... I don't know if it's still active in my email… No, no, don't get distracted Samia… get back to the template... So the basic message of the template was something to the effect of… hey, I'm implementing a time management system that's going to help me serve you better. And a part of that is that I check my email from this time to this time. And if it's something urgent, where you need a response outside of these times, and make sure it's urgent, then here's a number you can send me a text alert to, and I will get back to you as soon as I can, you know… and that was it. So it's like you let people know what your boundary is... And if there's something truly urgent, you give them an option for how they can reach you. And I loved that it emphasized… make sure it's actually urgent…
ALEX: Yeah... I was actually going to add to what you were saying is… you define the protocol, but then you have to define what urgent means. Because what urgent is to me could be very different than what you think is urgent, right... So being on the same page as the people you're working with is hugely important. So then that doesn't get abused, right…
SAMIA: Yeah.
ALEX: …it’s but oh, this is urgent, and then everything happens to be urgent. And then the boundary is being broken, which is counterintuitive and makes you more stressed... less happy, more resentful towards the people you're working with, towards the work that you're doing. And it makes you not want to be there… contributes to your unfulfillment.
SAMIA: Yeah. Indeed... So that makes me think about emotional boundaries because that sense of feeling unfulfilled or annoyed or angry... tell me more about the emotional boundaries part.
ALEX: Yeah, so emotional boundaries are there to protect your energy and to make sure that you're set up for success in your working environment, right. And this is just everyone's friendly reminder that you have a say in what your day looks like, right... So oftentimes, I know I felt very intimidated to talk to my boss at points because there's a power dynamic at play. But I have to remember that it's a working relationship, it's a two-way street… he is not dictating to me, what my day looks like what I'm doing, right, or she... So this is your opportunity to have a conversation with not only your boss, but your teammates, the people around you, to really have them understand what your needs and expectations are for the role. So tip number one here would be to share what your working style is, and how you like to work. Because we all have different working styles, we all have different, like… I call them like hot zones for when your day is like most productive. We all have different ideas of like when we want to take lunch, how we want to take breaks, right. And if you're not communicating that no one's going to know. And when somebody is bothering you about something or interrupting your working pattern, you're gonna subconsciously get irritated by that consistently without actually setting yourself up for success in that situation, right. So share what your working style is, and how you like to work... I think another tip that I want to share is, again, your relationship with your boss is a two way street. And so talking to that authority, about what you want your relationship to look like and how you best receive feedback, how you want your working relationship to look like, that's going to go a really long way. Because again, unfortunately, I think a lot of managers aren't taught how to be leaders. They're just promoted into those positions to make more money, get a promotion, title change, whatever… but they aren't actually given the skills to manage other people. And from my experience, from a lot of my friends experience, it feels a little bit of like a dictatorship… which again, makes you really resentful about the work you're doing. You feel like you don't have autonomy over your role, you feel like you have to be… this is where like micromanaging comes into play a lot. So recognizing that an emotional boundary you can set is say, this is how I like to receive feedback. This is what I want our relationship to look like… And just sitting down and having that open conversation.
SAMIA: Yes.
ALEX: Yeah.
SAMIA: Yes, I love this point that you're making Alex. It makes me think of, wow, at least two really, really important points. This idea of, you know, who a leader is and the kind of relationship you have with the leader that you... I guess, are following, or are going to choose to follow… but also thinking about leadership and people in authority positions, it's sort of like… when we think about authority figures, or somebody in an authoritative position, I think there is a tendency to have this concept of, well, we just have to listen and obey the authority figure. And we aren't always taught or feel empowered to engage in dialogue with the authority figures in our life about how we want that relationship to function... Whereas, you know, this idea of, you listen and obey authority figures, is just one possible model of how an authoritative relationship could work. And I mean, there are cultures where this is the expectation and the cultural norm for how authoritative relationships work. But that's one of the cool things that I have discovered about America is that in American culture it doesn't have to be that way. And, you know, it's because we have such a value for individualism, for rights and people's individual rights, and liberty, and the notion of equality… like there's so much value here in the West on all of these values, that it... especially in this culture, I find it so much easier, and it makes sense even, in this kind of context, to engage in this kind of communication and dialogue with the authority figures in your life, about how you want that relationship to function. But then also it makes me think about... I think, for me, this also is a lesson that I've learned most vividly after coming to America is, you know, this idea of… if you're in the leadership position, then how do you actually become a great leader? And, you know, there's this notion that, actually, it's not like you're born a great leader. It's actually that you become a great leader. And you become a great leader as a function of learning… through experience and feedback from the people you're attempting to lead… how to be a great leader. And so from both perspectives, it's like the idea is being open to feedback and dialogue in how you want the relationship to flow…
ALEX: And I'll even add to that, too… It's showing respect for those that you're leading and showing them that you value their individual experience and expertise. And what they have to offer actually makes the team better because it's a different perspective from yours. I got… Or I have firsthand experience in positions where I felt very undervalued. Like my opinion didn't matter, like any work that I was working on wasn't good, because it wasn't what exactly my boss wanted. And that causes friction, that causes conflict, when you feel undervalued or devalued for the work that you're putting in. That causes resentment and stress, that conflict comes in… you feel less like a part of the team, you don't have respect for your boss. So losing that respect also makes you start to resent the role and the relationship. And it's really hard to come back from that. And a lot of women, I think, especially struggle with feeling respected in the workplace. And that's what causes the burnout. That's a big trigger for unhappiness. So, remembering that you can stand up and talk to your boss and say, Hey, this is what I need from you, actually… this is the type of relationship I want to have. This is what's going to help me be my best self in the workplace and do my best work and be my most productive self…
SAMIA: I love it. I love it. And so, my gosh, you always me think of so many questions, Alex... But before I forget to follow up on another thing that your made me think about before… you… you drew a distinction between... So we already talked about the time boundaries. And then you also drew a distinction between emotional boundaries and mental boundaries. Can you tell me a little bit more about the mental boundaries…
ALEX: Yeah, mental boundaries are really about creating space for breaks so that you can step away and actually rest and reset your mind without feeling like work needs your, like, immediate attention all of the time, right. That can look like setting very clear out-of-office emails, actually taking your paid time off, your sick days, your mental health days… taking advantage of all of those things. But two really important, like, daily habits is… owning your calendar. I think we get into trouble with meetings. Everybody wants a million meetings for everything. And oftentimes, they're not productive. And they you feel like you're sitting on the computer, looking at people all day, which is draining mentally in and of itself. And then you're like, Oh, my God, I still have my entire To Do List to work on. I've got no brain capacity left for this. So owning your calendar and declining anything that's absolutely unnecessary. You don't, again, you have some authority to say, hey, I don't necessarily think I need to be a part of this conversation. Just send me the notes after, like, send me the highlights, right... Like, this is an open dialog, we can have a conversation about what's necessary, what's not… Again, you can have a conversation with your boss. You could speak up and say, is this a project I need to really be giving all of my attention to right now? If not, please remove me from the invites. So that's something you have some autonomy to do. And then I also think… really strategically blocking in time for breaks for yourself to step away from the computer. And whether that looks like a 30-minute lunch or an afternoon walk… just something to actually stop doing what you're doing and look away and do something completely different, not work-related, so that your brain can rest and reset. And you oftentimes will come back to that project with a fresh perspective and be more productive working on it the rest of the day.
SAMIA: Oh my gosh, that is so true. I can't tell you how many times I've experienced this where you know, especially like when I'm doing writing where I need to like maybe write a post or a blog or article or something. I have this like perfectionist streak come out where I get obsessed with editing and re-editing every little word and paragraph and all of that… And sometimes I, you know, I definitely find myself in that place where I'm like stuck and I don't know how to move forward or fix what I think is wrong. And then the only… one of the only thing that helps in that situation is, I feel like, okay, just shut it down, put it away, go take a break... And then like a real break, like you were saying Alex, where I'm not thinking about that thing, I’m not thinking about work. And it's like magical. When I do come back to that task, it's like suddenly, it's like, whoa, so obvious… Oh, this is how I need to adjust this or that. And suddenly it's like solved... It's done.
ALEX: Yeah, yeah, for real. And there is science that your physical body is connected to your creative brain. So getting up and moving your body and allowing yourself to, like, again, space to think... Thinking is productive. You don't need to actually be doing work to be productive, right. Like taking the breaks. And thinking about something is actually much more productive than, like you said, sitting in front of the computer and forcing yourself to physically type something out or physically work on something… that's not as productive as giving yourself the space to think and breathe and relax for a second. Because, like I said, your physical body movement will trigger your creative brain. And you'll come back to whatever you were working on, like… and it'll fly out of you, right... And you're like, Oh, my God, where was this an hour ago? But you wouldn't have gotten there an hour ago if you had just sat down and kept working. You needed the break, you needed the space…
SAMIA: Right. Oh, my gosh, this makes me remember a really funny episode from the Big Bang Theory... I don't know how many of our listeners, or if you Alex, are familiar with that show…
ALEX: I don't watch it religiously. I've seen a few episodes.
SAMIA: Okay. Well, there's this one really funny episode where one of the lead characters, Sheldon… you know, he's, he's a genius. And he's a physicist. And he gets stuck on some aspect of some theoretical concept in physics... And he reads about this research where he's like if you engage yourself in mundane work, so you're not thinking about the problem that you're trying to solve, that will actually help you… like your unconscious mind will be processing and working to figure it out. But your conscious mind is focusing on mundane, mindless kind of work... And then, you know, at some point, the solution will emerge for you. And so he takes this bit of advice, and he decides to experiment with it. And so he goes and he tries out doing various mundane things... He's like what mindless work can I do? And it's a very funny episode where he tries to do all kinds of different things. And in the last… towards the end of the episode, he decided to go and try being a waiter in the Cheesecake Factory. And, in fact, in the moment of him serving, being a server in the Cheesecake Factory, he has the lightbulb go off, and he's like, Omg! And he drops everything, like, he was holding, and he rushes off... to write down the thought... Oh, my gosh.
ALEX: Yeah, that proves the point.
SAMIA: Exactly. And it was just displayed in this really funny, funny way in this particular episode... So taking the time to think doesn't always mean you have to sit there and focus on thinking about that thing… It really can also be about taking a break in, at least in the context of your conscious mind, and doing something completely different, mundane… that, you know… and just trust that your brain will nonetheless be thinking about and solving the problem that it really needs to solve…
ALEX: Absolutely.
SAMIA: Yeah. Okay. Okay, cool. So, so, thank you so much for talking to us about those three kinds of boundaries and giving us some ideas of habits that are tied to those kinds of boundary creations... And so, one of the questions that I had mentioned earlier that I wanted to dig deeper in with you about, is… you know like when we're thinking about doing work that we love, and how sometimes that is a process… it doesn't... It's not a reality we can always create right away... What does that process look like for you? So from when you have the realization of, hey, I'm not happy with the work I'm doing now to getting to the point where you are happy with the work that you're doing... Is there a different perspective that you have, or that we can also utilize besides looking at the boundaries... Is there a different way to also think about how you can get to the point of doing work that you love?
ALEX: Yeah, of course, so… our... We are all naturally drawn to specific things, specific interests, for instance... I have always loved to perform and like be on a stage and talk in front of people… That is just naturally the type of person that I am. And when you tie that with science… so if you know who Dr. Martin Seligman is, he is a leading psychologist in the study of positive psychology. And he developed these three levels of happiness... And level two of happiness and feeling fulfillment, like activating level two of that is, embodying your strengths on a daily basis, right. And so I think the first... One of the first steps in finding what meaningful work looks like to you is really understanding what your strengths are. Because we are… I think it's like five or six times more likely… to say we are fulfilled at work, we have found our purpose, if we are activating at least two of our five top strengths. And again I'll go back to my example… like I said, I always loved being on stage performing in front of people. And I am a very outgoing person. I love talking to people... and when I took a strengths test… which is a test I take my clients through, I have a whole process in figuring out all of this, right… this is one small piece of the puzzle. When I took that test for myself, my top two strengths are communication... So it makes sense right… I love chatting, I love being in front of people, I love communicating to people, right. And then my second top strength is "WOO" which stands for "Winning Others Over". So networking, meeting new people, building relationships... all of that good stuff. So when I am activating those strengths, I feel a sense of fulfillment. I feel a sense of excitement, and joy, and happiness... And it's ironic because when we're younger we're taught… double down on your weaknesses, make your weaknesses better. In interviews you get asked, what are your weaknesses, right. And there's a real emphasis on your weakness. But if we just focused on our strengths and getting really good at the things we are naturally drawn to, we'll be able to activate happiness. And that's part of discovering what potential career paths could really support your happiness, right. And I think it was a really easy decision for me to pursue life coaching because I'm connecting with people. I'm winning others over all the time. I'm communicating with them. Another one of my top strengths is… it's called "maximizer"... And what that means is, you see something and you can maximize its potential. Like, you can look at a system or a person and say, okay, I can see what you're trying to get at… you don't see it quite yet, but I can... I have the tools, the strengths, the questions I can ask you to get you to see your potential...
SAMIA: Yeah.
ALEX: So that… activating those strengths on a regular basis, as a coach, makes me feel so fulfilled. Because the path is supporting what I'm good at, and what I'm really able to… like, hone my strengths in on and make them really… feel really confident in activating them every day. So I would say that's a big step in figuring out fulfillment in what you're doing. Because if you're doing things that you're not good at, and you're trying to get better at them, you're creating friction for yourself…
SAMIA: Yes, yes... And this also makes me think about the connection to the idea of boundaries. And when we are thinking about what boundaries we're going to create… like, one of the boundaries to think about creating is… in the context of what work am I going to accept doing... if it's not in alignment with my strengths, if it's an area of weakness that I have, and somebody wants me to work, do a task, take on a task or a responsibility that, you know, is really an area of weakness for me, makes me miserable to do… I need to set up a boundary and be like I'm not going to do that work... I'm not going to take that on. I want to focus on doing tasks and doing work that are my strengths... And, I mean, I imagine that there might be times though that is not possible immediately… like, there might be some... I mean, there are times for all of us where there's some kind of urgent thing, or an emergency crops up, and you know, you… everyone sort of needs to step up and pitch in, and do what needs to be done even if it's not an area of strength for you. And that's okay, as long as that's, you know, in a… in that kind of a limited context. But if it's going to become an ongoing thing, that's not okay.
ALEX: Correct. Yeah, and you actually started to like lean into something I call task crafting. So there's a concept called job crafting, right. And this is a way to make yourself feel a little bit more comfortable, a little bit more fulfillment in a job that you might not love and that's making your day-to-day a little less stressful, in the sense of what you just said. Focus on things that activate your strengths… and so you can craft the projects and the tasks that you're working on. So for instance, maybe you're on the finance team but the marketing team needs support and you're interested in social media… You can raise your hand, and say, hey, I have some extra time, like, I'd love to work on this project, right. And you're crafting the tasks and the projects that you're working on so that you are, again, outside of like the limited context of doing the things you don't necessarily love doing. You're actually adding things to your plate that you would enjoy, that do activate your strengths, would give you that sense of fulfillment. And that actually might spark some inspiration to exploring, if you do enjoy that, other avenues in the marketing team, right.
SAMIA: Yes.
ALEX: And then you've built up a relationship in that organization and you can transfer over... I actually did that… in one of my earlier career… I worked in marketing. I was working on the account side. And I said, hey, I'm really interested in strategy work. I would love to take on strategy as an extra project on the side on top of my responsibilities, just to understand what it's like... And that turned into me transitioning from an account management role, into a strategy role. And I got my hands on things that actually brought me more fulfillment. Granted marketing was not the job for me at the end of the day… however, I was in the interim able to make myself a little bit happier on the day-to-day basis because I was crafting that experience to best suit my interests, my strengths, my skills.
SAMIA: Right, and it was also an important interm step, in the sense of… like, we're not always, always clear about what is it that I really want to do, and what work will really make me happy. And so sometimes you need to go through a process of trying a few different things out before you can get really clear on that... And so you did what you could with what you had at the time. And it actually, you know, makes me think, Alex, about a post I saw that you made on your Instagram... where you said something to the effect of… oh, my gosh... I'm going try to paraphrase you because I won't be able to quote you exactly... But you were making a point about how… if there is work that, like, an industry that you're really not a good fit for, just switching from one company to another within that same industry is ultimately not going to be the path to happiness.
ALEX: Right.
SAMIA: And so, I'm thinking about that in the context of the the more specific position also, now, where, if there's a specific kind of position, that you're really not a good fit for, just doing that work more and more, but maybe with different people or in different company... I mean, that's not going to be helpful either. So you really need to try something different, whether it's in the same company or a different company.
ALEX: Yeah. I know exactly what post you're talking about. So that, yeah… because I went through that... I was looking, I was looking for a position that would actually make an impact, right. And so I always thought that it would be the organization that I was working for would actually bring me that fulfillment... So I went from agency side in the marketing world to the publishing world within a health and wellness… because that was a clue there for me. I have always been interested in health and wellness... So I went from candy brands and CPG companies to the health and wellness space because that was something I was naturally interested in. And then once I got into the health and wellness space I was like, okay, this working environment… the work is good… like, I'm liking it better. So maybe it's just the company that is… I need the company to have more of an impact... And then I went and worked for an organization directly that is a certified B Corp, which means, that they are in business for good. They have a sustainability strategy, impact strategy, clean supply chains, all that good stuff... So I was like, yes, this is like the impact that I'm looking for. This is what… where my meaning is going to come from, because we're a company that's doing good. And it wasn't until I got to that point where I was like, hmm I've been at seven different jobs in the same industry, in the same role and it's not the company... Because I'm here and I'm still really… all the work that I'm doing is, is really just impacting the bottom line and that's not the impact that I want to have… even though the organization itself was a beautiful organization to work for. I was just missing that in my personal impact, the meaning of my day-to-day... And that was my first clue to say, hey, it's probably not the organization. And you might need to look at the work itself and the role itself... Marketing probably isn't it… And it took me eight years to get there. So now, I work with clients to shorten that time period, so it doesn't take them eight years of trying on different jobs in the same industry to get to that realization. Because news flash… if it's… if you're not liking the work, there's nothing about the organization that's going to save you from feeling fulfillment and happiness, if your day-to-day feels meaningless and you're unfulfilled.
SAMIA: That's right, that's right. And again, I mean, if it was only something that you had to do for time-bound, time-limited period, it would have been one thing… like you can always have different strategies to sort of create positive mood for yourself in the short term… But in the long term, all those positive mood strategies in the world will not be sufficient to create sustainable happiness for you, if you're not, ultimately, you know, doing work that is grounded in your strengths and that holds… or that is in alignment with the what gives you personal… a sense of personal meaning and purpose in your life.
ALEX: Right. And I think a big thing that plays into that sense of fulfillment is being in alignment with your values.
SAMIA: Yeah.
ALEX: That's another big element of really uncovering what meaningful work looks like to you. And I can give you an example for one of my clients that I worked with recently… She is an entrepreneur and we were going through this because she's like… and she works in the health and wellness space too... she's a personal trainer, she's building her own business. And she was like… I don't know if this business is it. I don't know if fitness is it... I'm not really sure... She was having all these questions. And then I took her through my life roadmap framework. And at the end of it she was like, no... it's not fitness… it's actually the fact that my one of my values is out of alignment and I'm feeling friction and conflict. Because one of my core values in life is freedom... And I feel as though, because my business is my whole life right now, I have no freedom... And so she didn't necessarily need to make an entire career transition into a new industry. What we needed to do… to do with her, was come up with a plan to help her get more in alignment with that core value... And so now that we have a framework in place for her and she's working on setting boundaries... she's working on a new scheduling platform to help organize clients more, she's taking actual days off… she's like, wow, I'm feeling so much more fulfilled by this work because I'm now fully in alignment with my activating my strengths with my core values. I feel really confident in what I'm doing… And going back to the mental boundaries… she's taking breaks, she's taking space, she's giving herself time to reset so her business isn't running her life.
SAMIA: Oh, that is such a brilliant example… and it makes me think about another way a values conflict could manifest... Makes me think about actually a coach that I got coached... I mean she was... I coached, like, as a student with her. So she was my coach and she was sharing with me like how... So she was a… she is an intuitive eating coach. And so she was in initially, you know, helping women lose weight. And she had this approach that she was teaching that she had learned about how to help women lose weight. And it was a lot to do with teaching people how to count calories and be on various restrictions, in terms of… okay, you can only consume this many calories and you can only consume this kind of food… this and that... And she realized that approach was in conflict with her values of, you know, like living with non-judgment, especially context of relationship with your body, and with the value of, you know, respecting the feedback of your own body, and the needs of your body, and listening to our intuition… Because when you're following these kinds of rules, you know, it doesn't leave room for you to listen to what your intuition is telling you and what your body is giving you feedback on, and all of that... And so there was like this values conflict for her in the context of the method of the work that she was doing. And so now, you know, she has shifted to... she's still working with women on how to be more healthy, and wellness… and some of that comes down to, you know, also impacting the weight and helping people be at a healthier weight… but she is now doing it from a very different perspective that is not in conflict with these values that she holds... And so this, with this intuitive eating approach, you know, it allows her to be in alignment. So I love this… how you have highlighted the, you know, wow… these different aspects that you need to have in alignment in order to be truly happy with the work that you're doing at work…
ALEX: Yeah. Absolutely. And I'll just end with this… career transitions are totally normal. The decision that you make when you're 22 going into the workforce does not need to be your decision for the rest of your career. And making a transition to be more in alignment with your strengths and your values is such a courageous and admirable thing to do. And there are so many people who have done it. I, like, right off the bat, my best example is Julia Child. She was working as like a research assistant or something. And she didn't publish her first cookbook until she was 39... Vera Wang was working as like a journalist and didn't actually make her first wedding dress until she was 41. So if you have an inkling of a dream, or like an inkling of a calling to pursue something other than what you're currently doing, I think no amount of these… Like, happiness habits will help in the interim, but long-term happiness will come from you pursuing what actually excites you and fulfills you, and brings you that joy and happiness and sense of purpose every single day... Because that is ultimately going back to Dr. Martin Seligman's positive psychology here… His third level of happiness is finding meaning and purpose. So you're activating your strengths for level two, right. You're doing something that makes you feel really good… and then when you find your meaning, when you find your purpose... that is where long-term, enduring happiness comes from.
SAMIA: Indeed... Oh, my gosh, you know, this happens every time I'm talking with you, Alex... I lose track of time. And you keep making me think of more things to talk to you about… and we're running out of time again. You'll just have to come back again…
ALEX: I'll come back whenever you want me to... I love our conversations.
SAMIA: Me too, me too... Yes! And so, okay. So we do need to wrap up for right now. Do you have any last words or thoughts you want to share…
ALEX: Be bold. I think that is something that really… that my mom actually said to me... And it inspired me to be bold and take the leap and make a transition. Because I was so unhappy… But it just takes one decision to change your life. So be bold, make that decision and go for it unapologetically…
SAMIA: I love that… be bold... And check the show notes because we're going to be dropping Alex's links in there. So connect with her and she can help you be more bold. And until we connect next time, I just wish you lots and lots of peace and joy. :)
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