SAMIA: Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, and Privet! It's really, really good to be with you again. And I know you'll be so happy you have joined us today because we have a very special guest, and it's Dr. Rani Thanacoody. She is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, Life and Relationship Coach, Astrologer, and Speaker. Welcome, Rani…

RANI: Thank you, Samia, for inviting me to your channel, which is going to make change fun and easy. So happy... I'm so grateful and happy to be with you. And to be with your audience. Really been waiting for that. And thank you for giving me this opportunity…

SAMIA: Yes, I'm excited to have you with us and I'm really looking forward to our conversation. And before we really jump into that Dr. Rani will you please tell us more about who you are and what you do?

RANI: All right, thank you. So I am based in the UK. My main profession is an academic... So I teach at university… but during my extra… I did my part-time, my evening hours, I am a hypnotherapist... I use rapid transformational therapy method. I am also a past life regression practitioner… and like all the things that you said I am a Mars-Venus life and relationship coach. I do astrology, tarot reading, and lifeforce compassion practitioner too... So I've been doing that for the past three years, since I've started that journey of healing myself. And I am also the co-author of two books. And the first book is called "Love and Coaching", which is I am sure many people will know of that author… It is… Dr. John Gray is the famous author of “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. So I co-authored with him and 30 other coaches. And we have that book called "Love and Coaching". And I have co-authored with another lady called Susie Dent. And her book is called "Bare Naked and Beautiful", where we mentioned their journey of being… having been abused and how they recovered from that, and how they've healed from that. And I also have a podcast which is called “Amazing You” by Dr. Rani Thanacoody, and I have a YouTube channel. That's about me, that's all about me for now…

SAMIA: Amazing, you're doing so many, so many amazing works. I love it. And what is your most favorite thing to talk about?

RANI: My favorite topic these days is to talk about... is to talk about the mind… the rule of the mind. And one of the rule of the mind is… it's all about the pictures we make in our mind and the words we say to ourselves, and that would give us the life that we want. One thing… these are the two things that I found are really important to have that life that we are all looking for.

SAMIA: That is a very, very interesting topic. I know when we think about making change fun and easy, you know, definitely working with our mind in terms of the pictures that we make, the words that we say, that is such a critical component of how we make change fun and easy. So I would love to dig deeper into that with you. So tell me more, like, what do you see are some of the problems people are struggling with in this context because of which they are not able to create the life they want…

RANI: Yes, as a therapist, I have so many people coming to me with issues like anxiety... I'm sure you are aware of mental health issues… of depression, of not feeling good in their own skin, having suicidal thoughts… and I think it's a lot to do with mental health issues. You know, these days, it's… I have a lot of clients coming to me with those issues. Yes…

SAMIA: And so if you take an issue, like, let's say anxiety, how does that relate to, let's say, the pictures that we make in our mind?

RANI: Yes, because anxiety, it comes from a thought, it comes somewhere... It comes from the thought that we have created without being aware, we don't do it intentionally. These thoughts, these negative thoughts… because anxiety is something… that's not something positive, it's something that affects us, affects our well-being. So it's… it comes from a negative thought, that has a root somewhere. And very often anxiety comes from our conditioning. It can be from our caregivers, or where we've been brought up, from our school, from our society, from listening to the news, and all that, and the media. So all these have been impacting, influencing… we are being consumed every day by these… all these different things in our environment. We hear of... If you just look at the newspaper, you will see so many, so many tragic things happen. And when we read, we look at all that… without being aware, it impacts our subconscious mind, it goes inside, you know. Our subconscious mind takes on everything. It's like a big computer, it stores everything. And then without us knowing, then the next day we get up, we don't feel well, we don't know what we are having in our body. We don't know what to do, but, and then that builds up and builds up, you know… it's all these negative feelings, emotions, or the negative news starts to impact on us… without us knowing it goes to our mind. And then it goes to our mind and we start to have negative thoughts about ourselves. Then when something small happened in our life, let's say we have to go for an exam, then that those negative thoughts are so strong in our head. So then we start to think… oh, no… for I'm just giving you an example of one of my clients who came to me, she came to me and said she can't pass the exam. So it's the thought she was having, she would fail the exam. So it starts with a thought and the thought that was created, it create feelings now. Because when she had that thought that she can't pass the exam, now she starts to feel anxious, she starts to feel scared. So now those feelings that she started to have, those feeling of being scared and anxious, now these feelings, they lead her to not being able to take the… to not being able to revise properly for her exam, because these are the fears everything that is being created. So it's creating… it is preventing her from doing the right thing, from doing the right action... So she started to… let's say she would procrastinate, she would not study, she would rather go out. And now that she's having those actions that are not doing the right thing, that is not studying, not revising her work, that will affect how the results… So when she will sit for the exam, when she will go on that day, she might have a panic attack. It is the result of all these thoughts in her mind... And when she might sit in the exam and have what we call… like, what do you call it...? I'm sure they call it a word... You have a black spot…

SAMIA: Ah, blind Spot…

RANI: ..in the memories... Blind spot... Yes, you got it. Yes. Some people have a blind spot, some people have panic attack… or some people would sit for the exam, but they wouldn't be able to focus on the exam. So just to show you, it's like a looping thoughts… just that thought, these will create the feelings, the negative feelings, create the negative actions, and the negative results. But we can flip that we can change that…

SAMIA: Nice. Tell me more... How do we do that?

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RANI: How do we do that... So when that negative thought come… because we are in control of our mind, we can't let our mind control us… we are the director of our life, we are the manager of our life, of our mind... and we have to take control… when these negative thoughts come, we have to say stop... We have to… that's why going through different kinds of therapies would help. It's important to do your therapies because you learn different ways of doing it. But this is a very just simple way for people if they want to stop that negative thought… You have to stop it, you have to just say, stop… and realize what you are thinking... Come back to the awareness and realize, what am I thinking of? How is that helping? And just say stop… And then use what we call a bit of neurolinguistic programming… you have to reprogram your mind now and say, no, I will think other good thoughts. So I would think that I am going to pass my exam. So… I create those pictures. Now I create different pictures because it comes, like I said, the pictures we make in our mind and the words we say to ourselves… So we start to create different pictures in our mind. We say, we just imagine ourselves sitting… and in hypnotherapy I talk the clients through the process to then let go of this anxiety and then create these new pictures and these new words. So then you flip that negative thinking and these pictures, negative pictures, and you start to think… what if you pass the exam, what marks would you like to get... Want to get an A? Just imagine yourself having an A, seeing your family congratulating you. And then feel it, because the feeling is so important. So you feel you are excited in that moment. You are happy, you are joyful, you are proud of yourself. And that would motivate you then to keep on studying, to motivate yourself to study, to love your studies, to do your revision. And then when the day of the exam will come, you will feel calm because, you know, you have programmed that belief that you can do it, that you have those pictures, this is a goal that you want to achive. So then you will see yourself sitting for the exam calmly, having the great results. And I have seen clients having those kind of results. And they have got the exact results that they told me when we did the neurolinguistic programming… but everyone can do that. It's so easy. We can just create those new pictures. And then think about them, visualize them, dream about them… but feel them as well in our body. And the rest will happen, the rest will happen because then the motivation will come as we keep doing that. It's not… like they say… it's 95% mindset and 5% strategy. So it's in the mindset…

SAMIA: Yes, yes. I hear what you're saying. And the point that you made about how important it is to feel the feeling, that is so, so critical. I think that is often what a lot of people miss when they're trying to use strategies like positive thinking or affirmations… is that they're just thinking about the words or focusing on trying to reprogram their mind by thinking the words…

RANI: Yes.

SAMIA: ...but they are not connecting with the feelings. The words are not connecting to the feelings. And so then that does not have the kind of powerful effect, that kind of transformative effect, that we actually want. I remember sharing with you, Dr. Rani, in one of our previous conversations that, you know, in my own past when I used to struggle with my trauma of being a survivor of child sexual abuse... I remember spending like hours and hours, for example, in prayer… like, doing different prayers, but still feeling miserable. And it's like, Why? Why aren't these prayers helping me, even though they're supposed to help me… they're supposed to be prayers that we are taught, in my faith and my tradition, culture, that you do these prayers, and it helps you to feel more calm and it helps you to, you know, feel better or etcetera. But I'm saying the words, but I'm not feeling better. Why is that? And this feeling point is exactly one of the lessons I had to learn. But I had to learn it the hard way. So this is such a crucial point, thank you for sharing that…

RANI: My pleasure... The feeling are so important Samia. Because we store those feelings in our body. So that's why it's important to feel them. Because whether it's a feeling of being anxious… we store that in the body and it stays, and that can create blockages. But if we create positive feelings, it will create positive emotions that will keep our energy alive, excited, you know…

SAMIA: Yes. So can you maybe give a little bit more insight in… like, if someone is saying the words and they're not feeling the feeling, what's missing there? Why, isn’t just saying the words automatically producing the feeling?

RANI: They have to find what are the… So I would say the words needs to have… need to be meaningful to them, first of all. You can't just say, “I am lovable”, and you don't feel you need that, you don't feel you're loved. So you need to feel it that you deserve that, you deserve to be loved. You need to, to really believe in it. You know, it's the belief in… creating that belief is like… just like we have that belief that we can't pass the exam… So it's creating that new belief that yes… It is… having the faith… Faith in God, faith in yourself as well, and in your ability… even if you don't see it, because that's how it works... A lot of people would say, I will only believe, I will only do this if I see… People like to see and then do. But here is the contrary… you have to believe and then you will see it. Then you have to feel it, really, with your whole heart. It's putting the heart, not with the head.

SAMIA: Ah, aha!

RANI: ..that's the other key.

SAMIA: Yes, yes. Yes... You're so right. You're so right because it's true. It's like, so going back to my own example, in the context of the prayers, and them not having the impact that they did… I can see that, in my younger days, when I did the prayers, and they weren't working, I was doing them from a place of like rote memorization, and from a place of, okay, I'm doing this because this is what I've been taught to do by my family, by my culture… but I never really consciously thought about… do I really believe in this? And actually, when I think about when my transition started to happen in terms of when practicing prayer did start to feel better for me and start to have more impact on me was when I was around my… like 15... I was around 15 years old at that time. And that was when I read like a couple of biographies that really had a deep impact on me… because both of those biographies they were written by women, and they were… a big portion of their story was… they were talking about times when they... when these authors went through some trauma in their life, and when they were teenagers. And even though the traumas that they went through are different from the trauma I ran through, but because I was like, I was like, "Oh, they went through their trauma around the same age that I was at the time." And I was like, "Oh, if they can do it, if they can overcome this, then I can do it"... that gave me that sense of hope. And one of the very important things about their story in both of those biographies was that both of these women were sharing how they tapped into their faith, and into their belief as religious people… one of them was Jewish, one of them was Christian. And I was like, well, you know, I'm supposed to be Muslim. I, you know… so maybe there's something that I'm not understanding about my faith and my practice of my religion… So interestingly, on the one hand, I got motivated to learn more about other faith traditions. But at the same time, I also got motivated to dig deeper into my own faith tradition, so that I could, you know, really try to understand it for myself, rather than just, you know, being in that mode of just doing what I was told. And, as I... it took me, like, a few years, you know, before I got to the point where I was like… you know what, I am a Muslim, and I believe in what I'm doing. And it really is having that impact on me in terms of, when I practice, I feel better, I feel more peaceful and more happy. And you're so right, Doctor Rani, that I first had to, you know, cultivate the deep, authentic belief, before the practices really started to make the impact.

RANI: Blessed. That's why I would say to people, it's important to have a good… or to have a therapist that helps you… because together, you would be able to identify the right belief, the right positive belief for you. Because by yourself, you might read so many books… it's good to read. But having somebody to help you on that journey of healing is essential, I would say. I wouldn't have been able to do it by myself. But with the help of all those people that I have requested help, this has helped me… because also some modalities, some people would be able to relate more to. Because I have noticed that I went to some courses, some friend invited me, but it didn't have that much of an impact on me. But it had more an impact on them. Because they could feel it more rapidly. But for me, another therapy works better, because that helped me to go deeper and feel it. So whatever therapies people go to, it’s all about the feeling. And even the therapist would make you go to the feeling. So…

SAMIA: Yes... That is so true. That is so true. Yeah, I think for sure, I agree with you that…  having a guide and mentor, somebody who knows something about the healing process, about helping you retrain your mind, etc... you know, it definitely makes the whole process more fun and easy.

RANI: Yes, yes…

SAMIA: I know, like, once I started to actually ask and receive the help that I needed in this context, it definitely made things so much easier. I made so much faster progress also. It was like, it was like amazing, actually, to experience how much faster and easier things proceeded… and then for a little while I was you know, I was like, "Oh, I wasted like a good 10 years of my life, struggling, and suffering on my own". But then, you know, I realized it's okay, you know, we all have to go through our own process and save our own time. And I wasn't ready to ask for help before. So, all right…

RANI: Yes. Because I have noticed so many people, they are in pain, they are suffering. Even if you ask for help, they are not ready. So, but it's sad to see that… but it has to come at their own time. And some people think they will be able to do it on their own. That's the sad part, you know... On your own, it's so, so difficult. And I know people It took them 10, 15, 20, 40 years… for me as well. I didn't know about all this, that I could do this work until I found out and then I started doing the work intensively. I can't tell you how much I work on myself for three years... Samia, it was day and night. That's all I knew. I was doing my work day and night, I was doing the work, the inner work. And with the help of my therapists and coaches, like you said, the process goes much faster, much quicker, much more smooth than struggling on your own. Yes, yes…

SAMIA: Yeah... Yeah. And, you know, I think what happens for the people who think they can do it on their own, it's like, there are... I mean, it's fine. Like you, we don't have any capacity to help ourselves, we do. But it’s just that sometimes you hit a challenge, or a roadblock as it were, that is beyond your current level of capacity, that is beyond… like you need to know, like, you need to have an understanding and a level of expertise in dealing with that particular issue that is beyond what you are currently capable of... And so it's important for us to recognize when we have hit our own limit in terms of what we can manage on our own. And when we recognize that to then be like, "Okay, let me ask for help".

RANI: Because later on the journey of healing, as you learn different techniques, you would be able to do them on your own. You would be able to regulate your nervous system again by yourself. And it is going to become much easier... You would recognize whenever you have a specific emotions, and then you will be able to calm yourself.

SAMIA: Yeah.

RANI: So we are all... we all need healing, and we all need help. We… No man is an island and we all need each other, to help each other to heal…

SAMIA: Yeah, exactly. I agree with you. We're not… we're built as social creatures. And it's so difficult for us to, you know, to be, to have to be alone. I mean, its just an extremely challenging thing to experience that, whether it's by circumstances, if you're forced to be alone, or whether because of your mental health, you know, you feel alone, even though you might be surrounded by people… Because I know that happened with me, I experienced that. I was surrounded by people, I was surrounded by family, but I felt alone, I felt isolated, because of my mental health. And either way, whatever the reason is that you might feel alone, it's a really difficult place to be in because that's just not how we're designed to function. Yeah, we're, we're just naturally social. So…

RANI: But it's a lot to do with the environment. The society that has made us to feel that kind of loneliness, you know… it's the stress put on individuals by society. Like, I can share with you that my parents were very busy, so busy, trying to make sure that we have everything, you know, food, we can go to school, that they didn't have much... So many parents nowadays, they don't have time to spend with their children. And that emotional connection is lacking. When this is missing... the child develops lone-- a kind of loneliness because there is no connection with another person. So they feel they have to fend for themselves, they have to become mature, to stand up for themselves. So… and that develops a kind of… stress in the body of that child, you know…

SAMIA: Yes…

RANI: And as we grow, that stress then start… any other small things will start to trigger that individuals and create more stress. So it is a societal issue, this the stress that's making us lose that connection with each other.

SAMIA: That is such an excellent point Dr. Rani. Because also, when I think about the other reason why we might find ourselves feeling isolated or lonely and not willing to ask for help, is, I know, again, going back to my own experience… I was so afraid of being judged and blamed and shamed. And it wasn't just, like, I made up those fears in my mind out of nowhere. Because, you know, first of all, you know, I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. Until I was like about 14, 15 years old, I had zero awareness… Like, my family kept me so protected, which is very ironic, if you think about it… I was so protected, that I didn't even know child sexual abuse… what that was, or that it existed, you know... But what I did see on TV… Like, I used to sit and watch, you know, Indian dramas and movies, with my family. And every once in a while, we would end up you know, seeing, for example, scenes of women being raped… or at least going through the struggle of, you know, like, they wouldn't necessarily show the actual rape, but they would, you know, show a sort of lead up sequence of the woman being chased and harassed and being forced down… this and that, and then they would take the thing off... And there was something... And then, you know, what I... So there was, that was disturbing in itself. But what I particularly felt a sense of connection to without understanding or knowing why I was feeling connection to, was in the aftermath that they would show the characters, the women, there would be this expression of pain, and this expression of suffering, that they were going through that, for some reason, I just felt connected to it… it was the closest thing that I saw to my own experience. And I was like, this is something like what I've been through. And I didn't really understand why I was feeling that connection, but I did. And then the other things that I saw in the same movies and dramas, was the women were being blamed and shamed and judged. And so much of… I mean, so much of the advice that they were given by their own families in these dramas and movies was, "Don't tell anyone, you have to stay quiet about this, because if anyone finds out, then your life will be destroyed, our family reputation will be destroyed”, you know, this and that... And, and I took that in and I internalized that... And it made me so afraid to speak up… like I did, even before I understood, you know, what the connection was between what I've been through and what I was seeing in these instances on TV... these were messages that I internalized. And these are… this is a societal problem. You know, that society teaches us to be afraid to speak the truth and be vulnerable and ask for help. Because, you know, like so much of the time when you do that, you are blamed, you are judged, you are shamed… and oftentimes even maybe given really terrible advice, even by those people who are supposed to love you and help you… so no wonder we are so afraid…

RANI: I can relate to that... Because just like you, I have been sexually abused as a child, physically abused. And I was told that I would forget about that, you know… everything was kept quiet. And I never thought as a child that would impact me. But as I grew up, I was very protected. And say, just be careful where you go, and don't talk to those, this and that person, just be careful. And I grew up... Like, my family did their best to try to protect me. But to me, I internalized that. And it became a fear that I developed inside of me... Fear of going out, fear of, I can't talk about it. And/but since I've now healed, and I can talk about it, and I wrote that in a book chapter... and when I shared it, I realized so many women have suffered from that. And they have come forward and said to me, you know, I have been abused, sexually abused as a child. I say, I didn't know... And they say, Yes, I feel so much shame, like you said... So much guilt they feel... Yes, absolutely. The root of every abuse is shame, guilt, fear... Absolutely. These are… anger as well, because we have to realize that… absolutely, yeah…

SAMIA: Yeah. And so like, again, it's like... Okay, so coming back to our topic of how to create the life we want... You know, for those of you who are listening, you see right here, you have two examples, Dr. Rani and myself, that you know, we have experienced trauma in our lives, and we have been able to find a way to heal. So it is possible… you know, our heart, our mind, our bodies have amazing self-healing capacity. And sometimes, we just need some help and support in finding the way. So…

RANI: And I think it's about sitting with ourselves as well. You know, when you sit in that, so many people nowadays are scared of the silence.

SAMIA: Yeah.

RANI: ...because we are so consumed by the noise that we are scared to go and sit in silence to face our, to face our issues... And it's only when you sit in silence with yourself and you go deep and get rid of all stuck emotions… oh my God, it is life-changing and life-transforming, believe me... You and I know that.

SAMIA: Yes, indeed... Yes, indeed. You know, it's interesting about the silence that you mentioned, because I've definitely seen that there's two different reactions people can have… that on the one hand, you know, you become afraid of being with yourself, and being in silence. And so you do all kinds of things to make sure you keep yourself distracted, and not feeling alone. And a lot of times, you know, that's one of the reasons why some people might choose to, you know, for example, try to self-medicate using drugs and stuff, because they're just… it's just too painful for them to be with themselves... And on the other hand, you know, I also know a lot of survivors who sort of, like, just go into this like deep silence… and it's not pleasant and happy to be with yourself. And you're traumatized in that silence. But for them, that's the way that they go… because they just sort of, in some ways, make friends with the silence as it were, and they just become so silent.

I remember one of the books… oh, man, I wish I could remember the... I wish I could remember the name of the author… But that was one of the… I read so many books that I found so impactful... I'm blanking on the name. But this was written by a survivor. And this was actually one of the first books that I read... it was… that was written from the perspective of a survivor of sexual abuse. And it was… and she described this silence that, you know, just sort of engulfed her. And there was… I mean, again, her the experience that she was describing wasn't exactly the same as what I was experiencing. But there were aspects of it, parts of it, that I could so relate to… Like, for example, when I found myself unable to ask for help, I felt so silenced, you know. And so there were definitely, definitely aspects of that silence experience that she was describing that I could also really relate to and it just…

RANI: Yes. Is it a silence or an emptiness? That's my question...

SAMIA: Tell me more…

RANI: Because I have like an emptiness my whole life growing up. And that happened when I was four, when my grandmother passed away. And I… as a child, you don't know what grieving is about, how to grieve, and all that... And then I internalize that, you know, I internalize that. And that became a deep emptiness in me. My whole life is like, I was happy to be by myself, happy to be alone. And it's a feeling alone, but it's an emptiness, deep emptiness that even if surrounded by people, I would still feel empty.

SAMIA: Yeah.

RANI: And until we both do the work, then that emptiness... until we learn to love ourselves, and do all the different aspects of the work, that's when we start to feel alive again, I would say…

SAMIA: Yeah, yeah. There's definitely…

RANI: But it’s a different kind of silence when you are experiencing trauma and a different kind of silence you can go after you recover from trauma…

SAMIA: Yes, yes, exactly. Because silence in itself is neither good nor bad. It's what is accompanying the silence in terms of the feelings that you're having, and how you're understanding that silence, what meaning you're giving that silence…

RANI: Yes. It's all to do with the meaning, the interpretation that we are giving…

SAMIA: Yes... It comes back to the words say, and the pictures we make in our mind…

RANI: Yes. Because words so powerful... The pictures are powerful. But the second is, the words are as powerful as the picture.

SAMIA: Yeah.

RANI: Because I was reading in the book of life... It says that, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue". I think you would have that in the Quran as well, would you?

SAMIA: Not that specific phrasing, but… so tell me a little bit more, about what youjust shared…

RANI: Yes. Life and death are in the power of the tongue because how we talk to ourselves each day…

SAMIA: Oh, power of the tongue…

RANI: ..power of the tongue…

SAMIA: Ah, okay, okay, okay... Now I understand what you're saying. Yes, yes, yes.Okay.

RANI: Yes. Because how we talk to ourselves in our mind, what we say to ourselves, oh, my God... I've heard all sorts of things. I had a, I know of somebody who used to say to his wife, you would, that she would kill him. And he would… he used to say… you will give me a heart attack. That's what he used to tell his wife. And you won't believe it, Samia, he died of a heart attack, because he was repeating that, he was prophesizing that, and it came true. It came true and it's amazing how our words are powerful. We can give ourselves a great life by saying great things for ourselves, encouraging ourselves... Or we can say bad things to ourselves that push us down and make us feel more upset. And I had clients who came and told me in the session, the things they were saying to themselves… I am... I was… I am stupid. They were repeating that to themselves.

SAMIA: Yes.

RANI: And that was affecting them in their daily life… their self-esteem, their motivation to study... It was affecting them, so…

SAMIA: Yes.

RANI: …words are very, very powerful…

SAMIA: Yes. And you know what you just made me think about… because you asked if this is a teaching that's part of the Quran... The Quran is, for those of our listeners who may not be familiar, the Quran is the Holy Scripture of the Muslims. And so it just made me think about how, and this is not just in the Muslim tradition, either... And the more I think about, you know, like, all the different faith traditions that I've studied, I see this in there that there is… for example, one of the practices that most religious traditions have is that they will teach you various chants, various prayers, that you're supposed to repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat... And, for example, in the Muslim context, there are so many little prayers that, you know, if you actually are observant, you'd be repeating them throughout your every day. And I think one of the functions of that, one of the reasons why we are encouraged to do that, is so that we can train our brain to think these positive thoughts, you know, these empowering thoughts and these thoughts that, you know, sort of reinforce the beliefs that ground the faith that we are living, you know. And so, repetition, it's like, what thoughts are you having… but it's like, not just about, "Oh, I had this thought one time, and now that's going to change my life". No... The thoughts that are really going to have the deepest impact on you, are the ones that you're repeating the most often. So yeah…

RANI: But I am a Hindu. And I would say I have been on that spiritual journey for a long time. I used to be very religious, like, very much practicing all the different rituals and all that in the Hindu... But that didn't really help me. And I can tell you why. Because I didn't understand what I was saying…

SAMIA: Yes, yes…

RANI: They are great rituals, but I don't... they are in Sanskrit, they are in Hindi. They are great languages. But I don't, I didn't understand that. And I was just repeating like a parrot…

SAMIA: Yes, yes, exactly. That's what I was sharing earlier, too, that I was also doing the same thing with my prayers in my early, early days. I was just repeating things, I didn't really understand what I was saying, I didn't really believe what I was saying... So it wasn't until, you know, I started to consciously challenge and be like, do I really believe this? And what does it really mean? What does this really mean? And how do I apply it more and better in my life? And, and then definitely, the most important part was the feeling… like, this was the question… like, I want to feel peace... I want to feel peace... I'm sick and tired and done with suffering. I don't want to suffer anymore. I want to feel peace. And so I want to know, what can I do to feel peace... So like, for me, that became the guiding question. And anything that didn't help me feel more peace, in terms of practices, beliefs, I’m like, I'm giving this up... So...

RANI: Yeah. But it's interesting when we heal ourselves... we change the pictures in our mind and the words… and we go on that healing journey... Now when we read the spiritual, the religious book, we understand it with a deeper, much deeper awareness. And we have a deeper connection as well with the soul.

SAMIA: Yes. Yes.

RANI: It's different... It's… I would tell the audience... You have to experience it to know what we are taking about…

SAMIA: Indeed, indeed… you know, my relationship with my faith and with the scripture has changed so much. I remember like a few years ago, my sister and I were having a conversation. And we were talking about Scripture and our relationship with Scripture… and this was just like, a few years ago, so I had already been, you know, for many years, by that point in time, been working on developing my connection to Source, with the Divine, and, you know, cultivating that feeling aspect of the connection and so forth... And so she and I were studying Scripture together, and she just remarked, she was like… I don't… you know, she, and she was feeling very amazed by, like, how… we would… We were reading a passage, and I would see meaning in it, and I would feel a sense of connection in it, like, have an interpretation and opinion about what I was reading… without having to read the commentaries that were written by the scholars and stuff. And my sister was like, I don't know how you do that... I want to be able to do that. And, you know, that's what I was sharing with her too, that I couldn't always do that either. And it's really... it's just, I think, one of the missing aspects of how we are taught to practice religion in our culture nowadays... That it's so focused on just the surface-level performance. And you don't really have… I mean, I mean, there are people who teach you to go deeper. And, you know, I mean, I found my teacher now. But it took so much effort and searching to find a teacher and it should be easy…

RANI: Because all those spiritual books, wow, it's like they don't… they never go outdated.

SAMIA: Yeah.

RANI: And it's only when you go through that journey of healing that you can understand the real, the real meaning of these words, you know. It’s like, these words are so impactful, so powerful... I have a different way of looking at it. When I was, let's say, before the healing, and now after the healing, it's like really, it  touches as your soul, it touches your heart when you read it. And you can also then put it into practice because you understand it on a deeper level.

SAMIA: Yes... Exactly, exactly... Dr. Rani, I am having so much fun talking with you, and…

RANI: ...I am too…

SAMIA: ..we need to start wrapping up. Do you have any last words or thoughts you would love to share with our audience?

RANI: Yes, I would like to tell the audience today... to do something that they can do easily by themselves, is to just develop an attitude of gratitude... It's just be grateful. I'm going to share that quote with you and to the audience. It says, "Be grateful for everything you have received in your life... Be grateful for everything you are receiving in your life, and be grateful for what you want your life as though you have received it in the future." By Rhonda Byrne, it's so powerful. And because I have done it, and I can tell you, the more grateful you are, the easy, the more easy it gets to shift from a negative thought and to stay in a positive mind. So I would say gratitude is the key to your healing. It is the key to having an abundant life and the life that you want. It's a small thing that everybody can practice…

SAMIA: Ah, Dr. Rani, we'll just have to bring you back because, you know, this topic, my gosh, that practicing gratitude... Such a deep and profound… I mean, it's simple, but it's deep and profound, and most of us, you know, don’t nearly practice enough gratitude and we don't know how because we have not been taught. So God willing, we will bring you back and talk more about it. And for right now, my last reminder to all of our listeners is please make sure you check the show notes because we will be dropping Dr. Rani's links in there so you can check out her podcast, check out her books, check out her… you know just her all her information, so you can connect with her and get some help and support whenever you're ready. And until we connect next time, I just wish you lots and lots of peace and joy... :)

RANI: Thank you so much, Samia, and to the audience, and looking forward to coming back again to being with all of you... And lots of love and light to all of you... Bye.