SAMIA: Hello, Salaam, Shalom, Namaste, Sat Sri Akal, Aloha, Holah, Ciao, Bonjour, Buna, and Privet! It's really, really good to be with you again and I know you'll be so happy you've join us today because we have a very awesome guest with us. And it's Sanet Van Breda... And Sanet, is a mindset cultivator and a heart connector and she's so much more, but I will let Sanet tell you more about herself. Welcome, Sanet… 

SANET: Wow, amazing... Hello, Samia... So I can add a few more. Good afternoon. And in my home language I will say Goeie More. And also one of the native languages, I will say Dumela, Dumela. So thank you for having me on your show. You are amazing. And I was very excited to be able to be here. Thank you.

SAMIA: Yes, and Sanet, please tell us more about who you are and what you do.

SANET: I am Sanet Van Breda. And I am from Johannesburg, South Africa. And that ladies and gentleman, I was like this monarch butterfly. I was in a cocoon all my life. I am 58, almost 58. And when I turned 54... or 54, four years ago, I had a breakthrough on a beach. I had to travel walk wise, travel three miles, five kilometers, to be with my family in a cave to take a picture. All of them are already in the cave. I was struggling on the sand, it was over cast, I was struggling on the sand, trying to get there. And at one stage I thought I was gonna get a heart attack. And I... It was a hectic. I looked over the ocean and I said to God… God I cannot... what if my beautiful grandson Xander said… Omi, why are you not in the picture in the cave? And I would have said, your Omi is too fat… So I do have a picture I can show you... This was me on that beach. That day, I will never forget, the sun came out, it heat my face and it heat my heart. That was my second life. I asked God, I said "I will do anything. I will do everything. Please help me..." So I got to the cave. I've got the pictures to show I was in the cave. And then my daughter said, Mom, it's five kilometers back to the car park. And I said, come on. I was not tired. I was able to stay with the family. But I didn't tell the family what happened to me on the beach. Because I know what they're gonna tell me… Sanet, forever you were on a diet. I've done hundreds of… I have done so many things. I didn't tell them. So first thing I did, I stepped… stood in front of the mirror. So Samia, if I can tell anyone… this needs to become your best friend. So I was standing in front of the mirror and I said to say to myself, Sanet, why do you want to lose the weight?

I said, I know exactly why. I want to lose the weight because I want to be running on the beach and swinging on a swing with my grandson Xander. He was four years old. And then I said okay. I went a little bit closer to the mirrow and I said, yes, okay, you want to lose the weight for Xander, to be able to play with him. But why? And I looked at it and I said, because there's so many things I want to do and have the energy to do stuff… Because with this big body it's difficult even to be in an airplane... It's so difficult because people don't want to sit next to you. If you need to go to the bath rooms, everybody, you know, now they must go inside so you can pass... So you sitting there, don't move. You actually are not good to your body because you don't want to go when you need to go. Because you don't want to pass people. So, yes, there's a lot of things I can do if I lose the weight.

But then my beautiful lady, I went a little bit closer, because I need to find my heart-of-heart why. And I say to myself, Sanet, yes you want to lose the weight for your grandson. Yes, you want to do things that you cannot do in this moment... but why?

And it dawned on me, I want to live. I don't want to die. And I know I get choked up. But that day, I know that all day was a miracle… because the beach… in front of the mirror… I want to live... And that day I changed everything. I even changed the color. I was always loving red... I changed to orange. I changed almost everything but I never told the family that day, what happened. Because I wanted to make sure inside I've got the plan. I wanted to make sure that nobody is going to take me off my mission, my heart of hearts why... I was in that cocoon. And I knew I now have to start stretching and work out the plan. And my steps… how to do this thing without interference of the family. That was very important for me. So on our way back to South Africa… my son was sleeping on this side, my husband on this side, and I wrote down… I need to go and see a doctor, I need to go and see a dietitian, I need to go and see a psychologist. I need to find out why I cannot get rid of this fat. I need to... And that was the why… the butterfly starting to stretch and getting stronger for coming out of the cocoon, to be free. So my beautiful lady, it took me two years to become a butterfly, two years of constantly looking what you eat, making sure you chew your food 28 times, because your stomach doesn't have teeth. You have to chew properly… being mindful every minute, almost every minute of the day. Eating mindfully… my dietician was amazing. She gave me something for me. I had to eat five times. And it was so easy actually to follow. And also movement… even before I went to the dietician, and before I started to really do anything, that same that I asked my three why's... I knew I must eat a little bit less and move a little bit more. So my beautiful, Samia, if somebody asks me, Sanet, you lost so much weight, can you give us your diet? And I said, I can tell you what to do. First of all, you have to move more. And eat less than you do now. Don't go buy food, just do that. The second thing is go to a dietician. And then they look at me with shock eyes because… I think… Because I didn't eat a variety of foods, so the dietician made the plan for me. And thirdly I say to them, start a relationship with yourself in the mirror. Go every day into the mirror and say… I love you... I love you… and look at yourself... Because unfortunately, we all see our faults… if self-love is not high on your priority… so people only see what is wrong with the face. If I do have a session with a client, I will ask them... So if I am your mirror, look me in the eye and what will you see? And I promise you every time… the nose is too big or pimples or marks… And I will say, as your mirror I'm gonna say… you've got beautiful eyes, you've got… And I look at a beautiful feature of a person. And then they are quite shocked to hear that, but they are beautiful. And I say to them, I can only see your beauty because the beauty is inside of me. And then I love to tell everyone, you're beautiful. Because sometimes people need to hear that. And then when they go and stand in front of the mirror and they say, Sanet said, I'm beautiful. Am I really beautiful? And then they will start investigating... What does she see in me that I don't see... So yes, that's the reason for me is telling people that you are beautiful. Because that will make you think, and then you will go and investigate. So it is a long story, Samia, but I am the butterfly... My monarch… a butterfly is also my logo. And my motto is, show up for yourself... Step up, do the action... Because if you look after yourself, and you love yourself unconditionally, you can love your family, you can love anybody. You can take care of anybody, but it must start here... Yeah, in your golden heart, your golden heart that God have put inside of you to help you breathe, to help you, your whole body move, to help you... In Africans, I call this my heart… click clock, click clock, click clock… because my heart is beating just for me. And I have to love my heart with all my life. So that's in a nutshell how I became a butterfly and how I love myself unconditionally. It was hard work. Especially the three, the first three months… because you have to do the work, you have to do the work. You cannot even comprehend… comprehend to change anything if you stay in your comfort zone. You are not going to go anywhere slowly, if you stay there... Yes, I had to get out of my comfort zone. But today, I am free. I am the monarch butterfly…

SAMIA: I love it. That's amazing. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. You brought up so many amazing insights and points of wisdom... I mean, just what you shared in terms of… when you asked the why, and the wisdom that you showed in not just stopping at the first answer that you got. But you asked a second time, why does that matter? And third time, why does that matter... And for some people, I realize, they may need to go even deeper. But you kept going…. the point was that you kept going until you hit a why that really came from your heart, that touched your heart, and that was, you know, powerful enough to keep you going. Becasue I know, like, for me that is oftentimes… like, when I have struggled to create some change in my life, that has been one of the challenges… that I don't have a why that's strong enough… so just that was such an amazing insight…

AD HERE

SANET: Thank you... I say, if your why is big enough, you can do anything, you can do everything. But you have to go and investigate -- what is your core why... And for me the three why's, asking the three why's is… was just brought me to the realization... I want to live. I want to be 120 years old. I still got 62 years to go. I love my grandson, he said to me, Oma, if you're so old will you have teeth? And he was like… I said, yes, my beautiful one. The doctor will give me shop teeth... So like not my own teeth, but he will give me beautiful teeth. And he said, alright... Then he is a happy… as long as Oma has good teeth. So Oma in South African is granny… but they actually call me Omi and that's a small… it's most… it's like endearment for granny. And in the meanwhile, I had two grandsons because my daughter got a miracle baby. So I was longing to go and see them. And three and a half years later, I was, in November, on my way to New Zealand. And the first thing I did… in that morning I landed in Auckland… that afternoon, my two grandsons and me were on the swings on the beach. And we were swinging… Because that imagination, I have held on to so much. So your first thing if you want to change anything in your life, you have to look at your why. And then the second thing is to use your imagination. And I love to say, dream in 3D. Use all your senses. Start with the end result. So I didn't dream how I'm going to eat… I dreamed... well, at that stage, I only had one grandson. But I dreamed how I was holding on to the swing, and I was looking at my beautiful grandson and he was loving it. I could see the wind, I could see and feel the wind and see the sea. And I even brought oranges. I love oranges… I love when you peel the skin and the skin burst and that smell... I love the taste and the smell of oranges. I even put that in my imagination. Because if you put your everything in place in your feeling, that image is so vivid, you don't want to change. And then you start working from that image, you start working backwards. How... and that's my point number three… your what and your who... How are you going to work backwards to accomplish that dream? And who it's going to help you. So my beautiful Samia, I didn't say how, I didn't say... I said who and what... I left the how to God. He had shown me to go to the doctor. When I got to the doctor he said, no, I don't think there's anything wrong with me, but he anyway sent me to the internist… who is a specialized doctor. And when I got all the bloodwork done, the doctor said, you would have never lost the weight, never... I was shocked. I said, why? He said your thyroid is not working. This is not working. So your metabolism is not… is not going…you are putting food in and you're just getting wider. And I was shocked. I said to him, but I am going to this, this gynecologist for 12 years. Why didn't she ever put me on on thyroid pills. And he just went like this... So this is the first thing I have changed. I have getting chronicle medical… medicine… I'm sorry… medicine for my thyroid. I'm drinking something in the morning and sampling in the evening. But then you also discover I had lots of ulcers and a lot of other problems and that had to be looked at. So for me, I was quite long on liquids, so that my esophagus and my internal… but then I also received a valve, and the valve didn't open. So for me, I was 16 weeks on liquids. But so weak I could not even walk. So I went back to the doctor and the doctor said that there is something wrong, so we had an emergency operation. So my beautiful Samia, I got my second life because on that day, on the operation table, my heart stopped... and they actually have to revive me... And then when I revived the doctors said, oh, we almost lost you. And I think that even shocked me even more because if I wanted to cheat before, it was no… the deal was no, I cannot. So God has given me another beautiful present to have a beautiful day, every day. And one of my things is, when I wake up in the morning, I will say, Sanet, what value can you bring to somebody, and to me… but first to me. Because if I make my life valuable, I can make my anybody's life... I can up, bring up, make them happy. And then in the evening, our to ask myself, Sanet, did you leave your sparkle in somebody's heart, and in memory? And then… I don't go to bed with the hat… And I will go either a tip of the head or I will go like this. And sometimes my husband, if he sees it, he will tell me, you live to sparkle again. And then we laugh… because after that, the 20th of September 2019, that… my purpose, everything was born... It was like, unbelievable. So yes, I had quite a few things happening to me. And I lost quite a lot of weight in that liquid phase. It was… it was hectic. As so that I really don't have a lot of hair... So instead of going to put a wig on, I decided… I am wearing hats. I've got beautiful hats. And after I started with the diamond beauties, and my business name is, Self-Love Ignites Me, LLC. I was always with the hat. And that became my brand... So yes, I am... They called me the lady with the hat that talks about self-love and mindfulness. But I embrace what I didn't have. So yeah, I did something else... 

SAMIA: Oh my God, again you just shared so many amazing... so many amazing bits of wisdom... But I think the thread I'll pick up on now is some of the last things that you shared in terms of… you talked about being the lady who talked about self-love and mindfulness. But also, like this idea of embracing what you have. I mean, I think that goes back to what you were saying earlier about loving yourself unconditionally. That is, I think, also something that I know, a lot of us struggle with. It's, you know… I think for people who want to see a big change in their life, a lot of times the problem that they can run into, that I know I had run into in my, in my life in the past, was that you think to yourself… when I achieve that change, then I'll be able to love myself... And somehow logically, it seems to make sense. But in reality that doesn't work. Can you maybe share a little bit of your wisdom with me on why can't we wait until the change has happened to love ourselves…

SANET: If I can compare it to faith… If you pray… you and I can… I will say, you actually have to have faith it's going to happen... And sometimes, people want to see it before believing it. For me, my… I’ve now mentioned the why. I've mentioned the dreaming and I've mentioned the what and the who... My fourth step is the action. Action… because you really have to take action… going to stand in front of the mirror, doing the work. That's my stepping up and doing the work. And then persistence… that's the whole thing... So for me, if you want to change it, and really put your whole body… if you want to change one thing in your life with all your heart, your soul, and your body, you have to go and see what is the end result... And yes, before my journey, if you had told me, Sanet, you have to see this before becoming this, you have to see it… I don't think I would have. I would not have been there with my process, I would never understand it. But as soon as I am… I have anything I'm doing now, even my projects, and I've got amazing projects in is like, amazing, amazing... I have dreamed it already… my TV show… I've dreamed it in February 2022. My first episode was the first... 15th of January 2023… almost eight months later it happened. But I know that's very difficult… because you are in this state, but you want to move to tomorrow to a better state, or a slimmer body, if I can have that analysis... But the thing is, if you don't think that the slimmer body is possible, you will not do your everything today. And tomorrow you will wish for another day. And so you will wish your life away. And you didn't do the things that you wanted to do. Because the thing is, you have to think the end result first. It's like I know, I say, if your faith is like a mustard seed, you can accomplish anything... And that is really difficult because as humans, one of the defaults that we have is that… in our generation is instant gratification… the default is we will only see, we will only believe when we see it. But what if I can tell… and I'm telling a lot of people, I am putting it my life's mission to tell the people… love yourself, do mindfulness exercises every day… What if somebody like me can come and tell you… if what you have done is not working, why… just for once, just for once, change it, look at what the end result will be. And then dream it. Know your why for that end result. And then now we'll see who you need, what you need. And then you have to take the action. You cannot sit in the stool and say, I am fit, for example. If you don't walk or exercise… Or like me, I am dancing many times a day. I have this forever song process that I have also gift it to other people. But like yesterday, I have dance 17 times, 17 times. Today I had to visit somebody's mother. So the dancing was a little bit less. I did three this morning. And I will definitely do two more before going to bed. But that dancing makes me happy, bring me in the present moment. So that's the action... And then my beautiful Samia, I told you, my motto is… show up for yourself and for others… stepping up, that's the action. And then my third, my third leg on my motto is, soul up. So when your cup is running over, then you don't have a choice to inspire and help other people. You're giving your soul to others. So soul up, that's the third part of my step. Before you soul up, there’s one more on my five point steps, there’s one more… number five… And I'm sure you will know what number five is because I already alluded to it… dancing to my forever song… is to celebrate. Celebrate small and big milestones. Because when you start to celebrate your brain will tell you… ow, ow, ow… you can celebrate… when this dance said, Come on, come on Sanet... come on! Do that, do the action. So celebration is for me a big thing... When I was on my journey, I celebrate scalable and non-scalable items. For instance, I needed a BMI, body mass index scale to measure as New Zealand only takes… will give you a work permit if your BMI is less than 35%. Mine was 54 percent, so it was a big gap. So I needed that scale. So I remember my husband called me… we call loved ones in Africans ‘Leafy’. So ‘Leafy’ is like ‘my love’. So he called me… Leafy… and I say, yes Leafy… And he said, I’ve got a present for you. So, I came to the front, and he said, here’s a box for you. And I am like a child. I opened my box. Oh, so it was the scale and I hugged the scale. And he looked at me and said, Sanet, am I chopped liver? You must give me the hug, not the scale! And I gave him a hug. So I even when I was able to sit in a chair without looking for a bench or a bigger chair in a restaurant, I even celebrate that… it was the celebration. And there is one more thing that you ask. One important thing is to keep on keeping on. If you really want to change, you have to keep on keeping on, persev... I can never say that. Well, that's why I say, keep on keeping on... Because if you can continue with your new actions, it will become a habit. And with a new habit you can become a monarch butterfly or any butterfly that's beautiful…

SAMIA: Thank you so much for that, Sanet. I want to keep asking you questions. And we are running out of time. But I have to ask you one more question. Going back to that mindfulness piece… can you tell me just to know that more about what mindfulness means... I think this word, it's… a lot of people are hearing it these days, but they don't really understand what it's all about. And so what is mindfulness? And how does that connect to self-love? How does it allow you to love yourself more and better?

SANET: So if I can just give you this analysis... As a child, if you want to dance, you will dance. And you don't… if there's somebody watching you, it's okay. Maybe the person will come, the adult would come and dance with you. As as a child, we have this ability… the children have this ability to be themselves. So first of all, first thing mindfulness is to be your  authentic self. I cannot be you and you cannot be me. So that's the first thing, mindfulness is definitely… And that's Sanet... and that's me, that's my that's my understanding... Mindfulness is be yourself. Be in the moment, because all of us think about yesterday, and we think about tomorrow. But if we are here in a moment… yes, when you do your goal plans you will have to look at your back and see what was working and what not. And yes, while you're busy with your goal plan, or your life blueprint, you need to look in the front because you have to look at your two… six months from here, two years, 10 years from here, yes... But you can only change that future in the moment that you are. So be yourself, be in the moment. If a thought comes into your mind that presses your default points… my default point was, you are not good enough. My default was, I am not good enough. So when this thought comes into your mind, first of all, I will put my concentration on my nose and I will start to breath. I will do about two breadths and then I’ll go back to the thought and I’ll say, okay, I… no judgment. I hear you. And if there is something that I can do to make this point the way that I want to be, because I am good enough for anything, for everything, then I will look at the point and I will work on it. But after my analysis, if I don't need to change, then I'm not going to change. One example, when I was very big, I had a very big stomach. My laughter was beautiful because it was all… it comes in my stomach and it sounds to me like drums. But now I don't have the big stomach. So my laughter is not as it was. Some of the family members and friends said, Sanet, please don't laugh out loud. So the thought came in my mind, "Sanet your laughter is not good. Your laughter is irritating their ears." First of all, Sanet… now I'm going internal... Sanet, I did a breathing. Sanet, do you love to laugh? Yes. I love to laugh out of my stomach. Can you do anything about their ears? No. They can get used to my laughter or they can walk away... They have a choice. Okay, are you happy with that feeling? And I normally get like this feeling of… Yes... And then I will tell this thought, thank you for coming into my mind. But you know what? I have dealt with it now. And I don't want it anymore. So later on, a few months later, nobody complained, and they all laughed with me. So in a nutshell, mindfulness is being in the moment with your thoughts, and even if there is default thoughts coming in, to, to… no judgement… to look at the positive and the negative, and decide what is the best for you. And that incorporate self-love, because you put yourself first, as you are the most important person in your life. And you can only help and love other people if you do you, yourself. So that's the long answer. But that was the easiest way for me to explain mindfulness…

SAMIA: I love it. I love it... I actually really, really appreciate the way you understand it. Because you're right. I know when I talk to people about being in the moment, for example, a lot of times people will get focused on what they don't love, what they don't like, in the moment… I'm like, Okay… and let's see if we can change that habit and focus on what we do love, what we do want, that is in the moment… the gifts that we have in the moment… Because you're so right, if you want to create change, doing it with self-love, and with this loving energy and perspective, it's so much more fun and easy to create change…

SANET: Yes, fun and easy, like your logo... Yes, yes, I love it. And it is fun and easy… because there is… you are your worst enemy. Do you know that? With all the talk that you are telling yourself... So I always tell my beautiful ladies when they do the monarch butterfly program with me... I have a few gentlemen that have done the program, but mostly women... I will tell them, how do you talk to your child or to a child? Talk to yourself that way. And how do you talk to your best friend? Talk to yourself like you are your... you actually are your own cheerleader, or your own best friend. Just change small bits and it will change the world for you.

SAMIA: Yeah, exactly... And yes, yes, yes. I agree with you. I so agree with you... And Sanet we'll have to bring you back because, like I said, you keep bringing up so much amazing insight and wisdom that I want to keep asking you questions…

SANET: So if I can, maybe I can tell you that I will be gifting you, because you were on my TV show…a forever song process. But for your viewers, I will also give this amazing process for them. So if they go to selfloveforme.com, they can fill in the discovery call. And we're going to have a free session, where I will be helping you with your forever song, and how to bring in… depending on your song, most of the songs is three minutes, the longest song I had was six and a half minutes… for that few minutes that your song is playing, you're gonna move your body, you’re gonna be in the present moment, you’ll get a smile. And by smiling you are bringing your happy endorphins, and your happy hormones is going to kick in. And that is going to make you an amazing, amazing day. I love to say… when I open my eyes, first thing I say is thank you God for giving me another day, another day to laugh. And another day to give love. And then the second thing I ask, Sanet, what value will you bring to Sanet, me, and for others. And that's how I start my day, how I'm going to unwrap my beautiful day… put on that bow and make it special. So in the evening I can say this just before closing my eyes… "Yes, I have left my sparkle in somebody's heart and memory." So thank you so much for having me. It was a blessing, you are a blessing. And I like make a change fun and easy. It's amazing. Because sometimes people think everything is too difficult. Sometimes they believe that it's so difficult just to put a smile… so a fake smile will have to do. But if you just go to your stomach… I'm gonna go back… if you just go… yeah, yeah… and you go and fetch the laughter there, then you have so many happy moments coming your way because that happiness is going to stay with you for a long time... So thank you for having me. Keep on doing your beautiful work. Make a change fun and easy, it's amazing. Amazing. Amazing.

SAMIA: Thank you, Sanet. That is a beautiful, inspiring message for us to wrap up for today. And I will just remind all of you who are listening or watching this interview, please make sure you check the show notes because we will add Sanet's links in there, from which you can connect with her and continue to learn from her and get the help and support that you need. So until we connect next time, I wish you lots and lots of peace and joy... :)