SAMIA: Hello, Salam, Shalom, Namaste, Aloha, Sat Sri Akal, Hola, and Bonjour!I'm so happy to be with you today and guess what we have a very cool guest with us today Tam Enright who is an Empowerment and Success Creation Coach how cool is that and she works or she is... part of Sacred Empowerment Life Coaching I think that is so cool welcome Tam…

TAM: Welcome hello... and just from Australia I'd like to say my… our style of greeting here is g'day mate so yeah g'day to all you lovely listeners out there hello Samia and I'm so privileged I feel so honored to have you interview me today…

SAMIA: I am so happy that you're with us today Tam will you tell us more about who you are and what you do…

TAM: Yes certainly I would love to so I am as you've just explained I am a success and empowerment coach so a success creation coach and what I actually do is I help millennial women so in that age group of women around 25 to 35 actually help them avoid the frustration and uncertainty that is really prevalent nowadays around their job choices and around their life choices so that they can become more aligned and more confident because let's face it who doesn't want more confidence and so they can actually start to create their life and their career that they are extremely passionate about and I do that through the one-on-one coaching programs that I have to offer so yeah I'm really looking forward to sharing anything and everything that you... your listeners want to know about today around that subject…

SAMIA: Yes oh I'm so excited can you tell us about maybe one big problem that millennial women you love to work with are facing and what we can do about that…

TAM: Yes certainly okay so I mean as I said I do work with a lot of women but I've really noticed especially over the last three years that a lot of millennial women are coming in and they are at that point in their lives you know a lot of them have actually gone and done university degrees and they have this massive amount of knowledge but they're realizing that the career options that they go into after college that it doesn't light them up so they're looking for more passion but they're frustrated and they have that sense of uncertainty because they don't know which direction to go…

SAMIA: Yeah…

TAM: So they're very frustrated because it... in that area there's not a lot of help when they go through school and university there is a lot of help to do with you know career counseling but you know when they leave it's like they're left on their... to their own devices… so I really like to help them ground themselves with their values and ground themselves with what they're passionate about to start to help them create a career keeping in mind that you know there's only probably about 20% of college graduates out there that actually use their education in their careers nowadays so you know it's really disappointing and only 14% of millennial women have actually you know voiced up to say that they have found their dream job… so I think putting the passion back into what we want to do finding that passion and directing it towards a job or a career and even that will ripple out into their life is key… so I do that through exercises I make it fun and I really help them to dig down and to find as I said what they're passionate about what their values are and where they want to take their life in a certain direction and when I talk about values... I really talk about the values of their... of who they are so it's not so much to do with compassion or love or all those sorts of things… which is great don't get me wrong… but to find their passion they really need to understand you know what they love to talk about what they know a lot about outside of their education skills you know what they love to research all this that brings them into the whole of who they are essentially… so it's really transformational work I love to see you know those women that actually tap into themselves and allow that wholeness to come about... to really birth their potential and just go for their dreams it's really uplifting to see that the change that comes about…

SAMIA: Yes you're so right this is such transformational work it's such important work it makes me think back to the days of when I was just graduating college and even for several years after I'd graduated college I had a sense actually of what I wanted to do but I didn't know how to get there and I wouldn't even have/had that of what I wanted to do except for the fact that in my very last semester in college the very semester I was graduating I am so grateful I ended up taking this class that was basically like a leadership development class... and one of the things that we did in that class was create a portfolio of our visions goals and dreams and you know we did this really... wow… I mean the... oh my gosh there were so many different like steps to that process that we went through and the end result was that portfolio of our vision goals and dreams and... it.... to this day you know it's guiding where I'm going in my life you know and so this work is so important and I'm so happy that you are doing this work and helping other millennial women to figure this out for them…

TAM: It is so crucial because we have so many options nowadays you know we have... especially as women we've really been able to take hold of our own life and give ourselves our own direction… and but because there are so many options nowadays we can get a little bit confused about what should I be doing and I mean... shoulds and butts and all that stuff I don't like to use because you know they're really limiting… but when you can really align yourself with your values and with your passions and then align that with your spiritual development that we also go through that I also teach them because I also teach them there's some tricks and a really beautiful technique that I use that can get anyone to be able to tap into their intuition within 10 minutes flat… 

SAMIA: nice… 

TAM: and it's a process that you do and it's really fun and at the start when I teach it and they go… how can you know choosing three things in the room help me with my intuition… but it's like well let's just wait and see but yeah so there's so many things that we need to align we need to start to align… our heart with our head and with our actions and for a long time there was this big belief out there that you know the heart is the servant of the mind but we've really got to change that because it's not true at all… our brain our mind is actually the servant to our heart our heart guides us in every way so we need to learn you know to tap back into that and follow our hearts desire and follow that passion that lights us up… so that's what inspires me to do this every day you know for me it was 15 years… over 15 years ago now that's telling me... my a telling everyone my age but we won't go there… but over 15 years ago now I actually got into what's called burnout and lost everything completely because I was struggling to/with that reversal role of the brain and the heart you know in my heart trying to fit in what was logical what I should be doing… and I then went out and you know I had a lot of you know psychology care and all that but I realized there was a massive gap in the industry that a lot of women fall through you know and they become reliant on education or they can't become reliant on psychology and it doesn't actually get them to the root cause of their passions of their what they want to do… so igniting that passion will drive a lot further than anything that the logic of the mind will tell you so that's why I  love this work and I love seeing the transformations…

SAMIA: Yes oh I'm so with you on this because I fully believe that our hearts are our source of peace and joy and love and guidance as you said you know and so if you don't allow your heart to guide you to be the leader in making the decisions about what life direction you're going to go in and so forth then it's pretty much impossible to be happy in your life to find peace in your life… and it's just such a strange situation I think that we find ourselves in society where you know we have experienced this reversal where it's all about the mind… and like to the extent that all the years of schooling that we go through it's all focused on teaching us how to use our minds better and we never learn about how to use our heart strengthen our heart how to listen to our heart… none of that I didn't learn any of that in school or in college…

TAM: No exactly… it's only now though that we are starting to connect with that spiritual side that heart centered you know driven purpose that we're here for… so I feel like it's amazing an amazing time right now for you know women that are going full in… they're playing full out in you know expressing their hearts desires… and being able to facilitate that type of change in a woman to see their growth and just to actually birth their potential is just amazing… and you know I see the results time and time again and it's just magnificent to see the women that you know... whether it be with me or whether it be with anyone else that does this type of work to see those women just really embrace who they are… and you know anything is possible when that happens literally it's amazing you know to follow that heart because you know our intuition our higher self so to speak is… it's there to guide us and it's there to create for us our best possible life but it's just sometimes you know that logic that mind gets in the way so you know we need to you know tame it so to speak… so it's... yeah it's amazing and I mean I love the work that you do to Samia… it's great to be able to share this to the world and to have it available and you know it's just wonderful…

SAMIA: Thank you thank you Tam… you know I'm feeling kind of curious about how did you first begin to learn about your heart and you know what sort of... what are some lessons that you have learned as a result of learning to get to know your heart and connecting with your heart…

TAM: For myself personally... or for the women that I teach… so well for myself personally the lessons that I've learned well... I've just learned to embrace who I am… not be afraid of what other people think… Because we all have a different perception in life depending on where we stand so you know we need to really take a step out of the situation and look at it as a whole and really embrace ourselves… and that's what I have managed to do over the years and embrace my gifts through that really hard time that I went through I learned to take a step back learn the techniques that were calling to my heart which has now led me to this path of coaching other women… so when I first started on my journey 12-13 years ago now after everything fell apart... the intention wasn't there at the start to coach other women it was about healing myself… but slowly that evolved and now the gift that I can give to other women really lights up my heart so yeah… and it's just yeah it's just amazing that I can now allow myself… and that's the key point we have to allow ourselves to follow our passion… so and that's what it's all about… and understanding like as I said our values and understanding that... knowing that if we have a conflict in our values which leads from that logical mind you know trying to take over that can actually cause us you know anxiety and stress so we need to really pull back on that and learn to live through our values…

SAMIA: Yeah can you sort of maybe give us an example of a values conflict that a millennial woman may be experiencing and how that might play out and how you would address that in terms of helping her resolve that conflict and come to a place of greater peace and passion…

TAM: Okay... So an example of a values conflict would be you know a young lady has gone through college and say they've gone through to become a… say for instance a doctor and they've done that because their family their father their mother or whatever has wanted them to do that you know so it wasn't a deep desire of their own but they want to you know be compliant so to speak and live up to their families dreams for them… so that's a conflict because it's not their own value it's a value that they are trying to bring forward a life that they don't want that someone else wants for them… so what I would do is I would look at their values so I would look at you know what they love to talk about what they love to do what they love to research what they know a lot about and you know and put that into perspective… and then look at that conflict of where they are taking them their skills and their values what they love and connecting it to their dream… so you know we always I always start off with a client we're saying what's your desired result you know what's your ultimate dream… if you are 80 years of age and I came to talk to you what was the one thing that was your ultimate dream that you achieved you know and we work back through that process… so then we look at that value conflict and then we work around so what is the best way that you can stop this conflict by doing what you love… so it does vary from person to person because we are all different individuals… that's basically how I would... in a round about way really quickly I could get in deep but we don't have enough time…

SAMIA: Yes... yes…

TAM: I think yeah really just concentrating on their values because once they know their values once they know how to integrate their own skill set… because we all have a skill set… into directing them into the path that they have the values conflict that conflict actually disappears like magic it dissolves completely because they know they're on the right track they're not forcing themselves through their mind through their logic to have to do and have to live a dream that is not theirs…

SAMIA: Yeah and do you find that when you start the process by asking people about what their dream is... where/what their end goal is that most people are able to tell you pretty easily what that is for them…

TAM: It can become a little difficult… so I do have a set of questions that I go through with everyone and you know I asked them you know is it okay for your unconscious and conscious mind to you know put forward information… I also... these are private sessions that I do so they all are you know confidential and private… so there's no shame there's no judgment there's no blame there's nothing like that in these sessions… it's a very welcoming environment that I bring the ladies into… and I have a set of questions so some of them do know some of them have realized that passion but they don't know how to bring it forth they don't know how to birth it into their world… but others you know once we've gone through the questions they do get a really clear sense of yes... yes this is what I want… and you can actually feel it when you're talking with them whether I talk to them on the phone or through zoom because of the pandemic of the last year you know we've all had to switch to zoom… but you can actually feel that passion come through them and that's when you know that is their dream desire that is their goal they want to achieve because they feel it too like they might get those goosebumps they might just get that sense of power coming from voicing what they want so it's really liberating…

SAMIA: Yes I felt that liberation oh my gosh it's really awesome… and it's... thank you for sharing that because I know when I work with a lot of my clients and we start talking about okay what's your dream what's your life purpose a lot of times people don't know and it takes some time and they need a little bit of help and support and going through a structured process to be able to figure out for themselves what that dream is what that purpose is… but the good news is you can figure it out your heart already actually knows it's just your mind that's confused…

TAM: Exactly we already know what you know… our heart can already tell us... we just need that ability to quieten the mind to tap into listening to our heart… so it is there and anyone and everyone can do it they just you know sometimes they need the right guidance…

SAMIA: Yeah that's right because we have just not been taught how to connect with our heart and be guided by it... it's like we were saying earlier you spend years and years in school and college learning to work with your mind and make it more sharp and so forth but we don't have any training or education in working with our hearts... so no wonder it's like if you need a little bit of help or support… but one of the things that I really love about our heart is that we don't have to spend years and years training our heart to work in a certain way… it's already beautiful and wise and you just learn to connect with it…

TAM: Yeah exactly... that is exactly right that we don't need to teach our heart anything… as a matter of fact it's the opposite… our heart… once we've learned to listen… our heart teaches us so much…

SAMIA: Yeah…

TAM: And it's just amazing you know learning… that connection and bringing that connection forth…

SAMIA: Yes…

TAM: So it's really well… and you know... and that will bring us our joy and it will bring us our passion… and you know our life will become easy our life will become a lot more joyful…

SAMIA: Yes…

TAM: When we listen… yes…

SAMIA: Oh my gosh I totally agree with you there… talking about life becoming more easy more joyful do you have anything else that you want to share with us about how to make our life more easy and joyful… particularly in the context of connecting with our values living our values living our passion...

TAM: Oh well okay… so one tip I can give you and that is you know doing what I call you know linking our values so linking our values… once we find what we want out of life what our passion is and then understanding our values of you know what we love to talk about what we love to research you know what drives us what gets us up in the morning and going… and then linking those values to our dream… that is fun in itself… tell... let me tell you that… you know I have a lot of fun with ladies and saying you know how could you incorporate more of what you love to research into becoming what you want to become… but then seeing that in motion because it gives everyone a freedom… and when you've got that freedom it brings that joy into our life… so it's really good and you know doing this is actually a little bit like habit hacking in a way because you're actually changing a few of your habits you know the bad ones that you… are... not so much bad… I don't like to say bad… but the ones that you've picked up that through that logical mind that you have to work hard and you have to do what others are wanting and when you flip that and you bring in actions that resonate with your values that are going to lead you to your desired outcome you know that beautiful passionate desire that we have... everything becomes more fun you know because it lights you up because your passion lights you up so you know that what you're doing right now is helping you achieve that passion… of course it's going to light you up you know... so it's just really beautiful and that whole... the whole way through you can just start to see with ladies that joy and that you know it's like they get ignited from the inside and that flame of passion just burns and it just spreads out to everything you know… and it does… it will ripple out it ripples out into our family when we are more joyful when we're able to do things that are more joyful and it ripples out to our family and our friends and our careers and everything so it really is that you know little drop in the pond when you start and when you understand that just ripples out to everything…

SAMIA: Yeah…

TAM: And it does… it creates joy if you... whatever you put out you know whatever… so within as without… and so whatever you're putting out that is joyful that you love to create will come back to you... so that joy magnifies that happiness magnifies…

SAMIA: Indeed indeed I'm with you on that and you know you just... one thing that I'll follow up with you on in what you were just sharing is you said something about hard work being a habit or something that our brain or our mind has learned that we must work hard… so what can you tell me a little bit more about that… when you're living your joy your passion your values... what is the role of hard work or what happens to hard work...

TAM: Well okay so you know like I like to look at hard work I mean we all have to work we all have to put in effort these things you know we have to put in effort… but when I look at what everyone has defined as hard work hard work is something that we're having to force ourselves to do which isn't actually... when you have to force yourself to do something it's not actually bringing you joy so it becomes hard… So when you start to align your actions and start to follow your heart listen to your heart then the actions that you take are going to be easy so the work becomes easy… now I'm not saying that you don't have to put in effort everyone like to succeed there has to be some type of ability some type of effort and some type of skill... but when you're doing it because you're passionate about it it's definitely not hard work at all... it flows… so it becomes easy work rather than hard work so yeah that's basically summing that up there…

SAMIA: Yeah thank you for making that distinction I really appreciate it because I think that's maybe one of the misconceptions or concerns that people have that sort of trip them up in terms of you know when you start talking about living with joy living with ease and they just can't… while they're still stuck in their brains training and their minds training from society and so forth… they just can't believe that it's possible to live a life where you don't have to work hard and how can that be possible… so the distinction you drew was very helpful…

TAM: And it's how we frame it… like I mean society standards have been for so long saying you know you have to work hard to get anywhere in life but you really in essence it's the way it's framed… like you... we have to put in effort and I'm a big fan of getting people to put in effort… you have to have that ability… but the work doesn't have to be hard it only becomes hard as we say if it doesn't light you up if you're having to force yourself to do that that's hard work… so yeah...

SAMIA: Yeah… can you give an example of some work that you do where you have to put in maybe even lots of effort but you don't find it hard…

TAM: Okay... so well that would be along the lines of you know changing our habits… so I do as I say a lot of habit hacking so we would find a habit that someone wants to change so again we would link it to that desired outcome and why that habit is not allowing you to move forward into that desired outcome… so then we have to through our hearts message of our desired outcome… we have to then link it to our logical brain so then we have to then do what's called habit hacking and we go through... and we start to realize why that habit is stopping us and then we form new habits and we start doing those new habit… so to take the effort we need to then do the effort and program so to speak… I hate... I don't like to use that word... but yeah program our mind so to speak into that new habit… so I do get them to write out that new habit that they want to take… I do get them to every morning produce a type of morning ritual that is going to embed that new habit… so that is the type of effort that we need to put in you know and have that congruence that will start to form… and it's what's called myelinating… if a lot of people haven't really heard of that but you know it's it's myelinating the habit in so it becomes an automatic response… so we take the new habit and we start to create and do put in the effort and do that new habit so it will send you… because it's all about neurons and it's all about the axons and how we travel down the form our habits so when we start to do new habits they might seem a little bit hard at first because they're new… but over time we continue doing them and what happens is that neuron and that transmission becomes myelinated so it... which means it becomes structured in a way and insulated in a way that helps those neurons to fire quicker so that habit actually becomes unconsciously set and done and we just do that new habit in routine... so yeah that's sort of how it works and that's the effort that we have to put in… and I'm sorry for yourself and all your beautiful lovely listeners out there if I got a little bit scientific on you there...

SAMIA: No...

TAM: I tried to keep it as simple as possible…

SAMIA: No thank you for sharing that that was very interesting and helpful for sure… it was a great example like creating new habits is definitely something that requires effort but if the habits that you are creating are ones that are creating more joy in your life more happiness in your life then it's not hard work...

TAM: I'll give you...

SAMIA: Yeah...

TAM: I'll give you an example...

SAMIA: Yeah…

TAM: say for instance you know we struggle with you know that late night binging and we have you know we're sitting in front of the tv and we have a late night binge… if you put an “if and when” to that action if you really want to give up that late night binge… so every time you think of… I really feel like binging on that block of chocolate while I'm eating or watching tv and it's 10 o'clock at night… you put a “then” to it… so if I feel like eating the chocolate then I'm going to go and brush my teeth… and the reason why I use brush our teeth because when… and it's a trigger in our brain that when you brush out your teeth it's actually an appetite suppressant… so if you can get into that habit of going you know late night binging I'm gonna go and brush my teeth and then it triggers that appetite suppressant then we you know... and obviously it's a continuous thing… or if you want to go to the gym and you know every time you think about going I should be going to the gym today then instantly go and put on your shoes because that sets that habit into motion… so just as a couple of little examples there sorry…

SAMIA: No no those are fabulous examples thank you so much for that Tam… and I'm so sorry I'm gonna have to wrap up for today because I'm having so much fun with you right now…

TAM: It's beautiful Samia…

SAMIA: Yes and you know what we're going to have to do is we'll add your contact info in the show notes so that people who I'm sure are very curious right now to learn lots more from you can get in touch with you… so dear listener please make sure you click on the links in the show notes and get in touch with Tam and I'm just so happy you were... you are here with us right now Tam and thank you so much for giving so generously of your knowledge and your wisdom I really appreciate it…

TAM: I thank you so much Samia for allowing me to have this opportunity to share the knowledge and share the joy and share the passion that we all have to create a beautiful-wonderful life…

SAMIA: Indeed I can feel that joy and that passion from you thank you so much…

TAM: You're welcome… you're welcome... yes thank you…